Disclaimer: I own no one.

Ep tag to 5x17.

This is my first HIMYM fic. It's a follow up to the episode Of Course from season 5. Despite all the insanity out of Barney during the episode I just thought it was kind of messed up that they painted it that Robin was the only one who had trouble dealing with their breakup. They had the guy spend a year being in love with her before they even hooked up, I would think he'd have some issues with it to.

Breaking Point

Okay kids, I tell you a lot of stories-

Really dad?

Yes and don't interrupt me. Like I was saying, I tell you a lot, but sometimes I skip things or forget them and I just remembered a follow up tale to a story I already told you. A lot of what you hear about Uncle Barney makes him sound… well not so great most of the time but he's had a lot of good moments so I'm going to back up a bit now because there was one story I didn't tell you, well not the full story. I promised your Uncle Barney I'd keep it quiet and I did, I never told the others but it's been like twenty years now, I think it's safe to tell you guys. So kids you remember the story of when your Uncle Barney jumped in the Hudson…

"Well I hope it was worth it." The cop stated while handing Barney his ticket. He let out a sigh as he grabbed it.

"I hope so too." He mumbled while looking up at the skyline where fireworks had just begun to light up the sky. He shivered slightly as a light breeze came through, eventually getting up from the bench. He looked around while pulling the blanket around himself more tightly before finally picking a direction to walk in. He wandered around for a while before finally deciding to head towards Ted's place, though first he stopped in the bar. "Let me get a scotch." Carl raised an eyebrow at him before pouring the liquid.

"Dude, you look like crap, what did you do take a shower in your clothes?" Barney shoved a few crumpled and still somewhat wet bills at him. "Actually, I take that back, you stink and so do those dollars, keep them, get me next time." Barney shrugged as he walked away, with another sigh he gulped down the scotch and pulled the blanket that was hanging loosely from his shoulders tighter and made his way back out of the bar and up to Ted's apartment. It was nearly three in the morning when Barney thumped on the door.

Now kids I want to just stop in say if your Uncle Barney didn't look the way he did when I opened the door, I may have killed him that night because while normally I was awake at that hour, that night I wasn't and I'd been in a very deep and a very good sleep.

Okay dad, we get it, he ruined your beauty sleep, get back to your story.

Barney continued to thump on the door, moaning something that sounded like Ted, eventually just leaning into the door as he waited. "Dude, open the damn door, I know you're in there, no chicks want you." He punched the door again.

"Barney just because you don't sleep doesn't mean other people don't." Ted grumbled from in the apartment. "This had better be good." He snapped and he unlocked the door, yanking it open and letting out a yell when Barney tumbled into him knocking them both to the ground. Ted shoved him off while sitting up. "What the hell Barney?"

"Sorry Ted." Barney semi whispered as he sat up which is when Ted got his first real look at him.

"Dude, what happened?" He pushed the door shut and stuck out a hand to help him up. Barney shook his head slightly.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, especially to you who wears nothing but cheap cotton but do you have some clothes that aren't wet?"

"Oh my god, yeah, I'm sorry, I should have already offered. You woke me up; I'm not with it yet. I'll be right back." Ted disappeared into his bedroom for a moment before returning with a pile of clothes. "Here these should all be good."

"Thanks." He mumbled before stepping into the bathroom. "Wow Ted I'm surprised you own boxers that are something other than cotton." He stated with a smirk while walking out of the bathroom now dressed in a pair of grey sweats and white tee shirt.

"I don't, they were yours. Which reminds me, don't ever leave your under garments behind again."

"You say it like I did something bad with them."

"I found them shoved in the couch." Ted glared slightly before continuing. "Now, what the hell happened? You show up at three in the morning soaking wet, you're not getting out of telling me that story."

"Yeah." Barney dropped down on the couch and pulled his legs up to his chest. Ted made a face before sitting down with him, he was acting so innocent, he almost looked like a child at that moment and Ted knew whatever he said probably wasn't going to be good. "I jumped in the Hudson river."

"You what?" Ted yelled.

"I jumped in the Hudson river."

"What?"

"Dude are you going deaf? I said-"

"I heard you Barney, why the hell would you do that?" Ted sat back on the couch. "Is that what you did after running away from the bar earlier?"

"Yeah, Anita got to me… and I wasn't about to break my promise to Robin." Barney wouldn't look Ted in the face while he spoke though; he just kept looking down at his knees.

"Your promise to…" Ted threw his hands up running one through his hair. "Dude, you could have been hurt, or worse, I really think Robin would be more upset about you being dead than you getting laid." Barney scoffed and Ted went into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a bottle. "Something tells me you might need this." Barney gave him a sideways glance and snatched the bottle from him and took a rather large gulp.

"No Ted, I needed to keep it." Ted was about to yell something but the look of Barney's face told him not to, the man wasn't crying but he certainly looked like he was going to.

"Why?" Barney stayed silent. "Dude, you've been banging chicks since like two minutes after you guys broke up, I get Robin's a friend and all but if you didn't keep the promise I think she would have gotten past it."

"But I wouldn't have." Barney eventually whispered. Ted shifted the way he was sitting so he could see Barney's face, the small red blotches had grown and he was certain the flood gates would be opening soon.

"Barney what's going on?"

"Ted do you know why I got sick when you guys told me what I hadn't been seeing with Robin?" Ted let out a yawn before responding.

"Well I would assume some part of you felt bad."

"No. Well yes but there's more to it than that." Barney let a finger toy with his lip before taking another gulp of scotch.

"Barney." Ted nudged his leg.

"It's just… Robin… she wasn't the only one who went through a breakup you know, there was two of us and the way you guys act it's as if she was the only one affected."

"Dude, again, you been banging chicks almost daily since the breakup." Barney dropped his legs back to the ground and took another swig from the bottle before turning towards Ted angrily while letting a couple of tears escape his already redden eyes. "Barney."

"Shut up Ted. Just shut up. Here's a newsflash, the breakup hurt me too. I didn't dump Robin, we dumped each other. At the same time, therefore it should be expected that there's hurt on both sides but I forgot, I'm king slut so there's no possible way that I could be upset." Barney shot up the couch while shooting out an arm, the other still clutching the bottle. "You keep pointing out that I kept banging random chicks." He paused and took a drink. "That's the way I dealt with it alright. Look, I know everyone thought it was nuts that I wanted to be with Robin, that I said I was in love with her but it was the truth, I did love her, I do love her, I wanted to be with her… I changed my ways for her and you know I did even if I didn't know how to be with her when I finally got her."

"Fine Barney if that's true, why aren't you guys still together?"

"Because, because I wasn't good enough." Ted went to speak but Barney waved him off. "I'm fine with it dude. Really, I am. I tried, I failed… it was stupid of me to ever think Robin would ever want me for the long haul. Why would she? All I am is an idiot with a bunch of suits and money, not really anything special there. The simple fact is I don't know how to be a boyfriend and I probably never will and I'm just going to learn to live with that."

"Barney you'll find-"

"No Ted I won't. You spend all this time talking about how you want to meet the one, and every damn girl you go with ends up being the one and I laugh and I joke but the truth is, I get it. Now anyway, Robin is my one, I had her for a while but it didn't work and didn't work because of me, and I'm not going to find someone because I don't want to." He took another drink and sat back down on the couch. "When me and Robin broke up I told her I wasn't happy, that I wished I was, I would have given anything, anything Ted but the fact is we let it flow and we burnt out far sooner than I ever imagined we would have." He sighed loudly and wiped his face. "So when I say I really was just caught up in my own crap, I mean it. I really didn't notice that Robin took it as horribly as I did and I did feel bad and that's why I had to keep the promise I made to her." Ted shifted uncomfortably and Barney took a drink.

"So you both took it really hard, maybe you guys just missed something."

"Yeah maybe." Barney stood up and swayed slightly. "Look Ted, just keep this between us, it felt good to get it out but I can't do it again. I can't spend another year hoping and praying to just get shot down again. I've come a long way from the sniffling whining thing Shannon had turned me into, and the past two years were big for me, they may have been the best two years of my life."

"Your best years started with you getting hit by a bus? I think you've drank too much."

"Well the bus part sucked but yeah that was a new beginning, I got my bro back and that day was when I realized Robin was it."

"Oh, wow." Barney rolled his eyes in response while gulping down some more of the bottle.

"Yeah, anyway like I was getting at… actually I forget where I was going with it but just… I'm a person too believe it or not and I actually have feelings in this shell of mine... this completely broken shell."

"Okay Barney, you're getting weird, now I know you've drank too much." Ted started nudging him in the direction of the bedroom.

"Seriously Ted just because I have lots of meaningless sex doesn't mean I can't love." He took another drink.

"Okay, time to give me that back. Come on, to the bedroom, I'll take the couch." He gently pushed him through the doorway.

"Ted, you're my best friend." Ted shook his head slightly with a smirk while flicking the light on.

"Your mine to." Barney dropped down onto the bed.

"Am I really?" Ted laughed slightly.

"Yes Barney I promise you are, now under the blanket, go to sleep." Barney curled up to the pillow.

"Ted, I love Robin."

"I know."

"Why doesn't she love me?" Ted cringed slightly.

"She does."

"Then why am I here not with her?"

"Maybe it was just bad timing. Sleep now." Ted turned the light off and walked back out to the living room. A moment later the front door opened and Robin walked in. She raised an eyebrow.

"Your still up?"

"Nah, Barney drank a bit too much, I just put him to bed. I'm going to crash out on the couch. You have a good night?"

"Yeah, I'm tired though. Is Barney okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He always seems to bounce back." Ted responded quietly.

"Yeah, he does. I'm going to bed; I'll give you details later."

"Robin?"

"Hmm?"

"He kept his promise."

"Huh?"

"Barney, he kept his promise. He didn't sleep with Anita." Robin smiled in response and she leaned on the doorway to her bedroom.

"Good night Ted."

So kids that night there I saw a different side of your Uncle Barney, a vulnerable side, a human side, which was a good thing since hell I think we've all questioned if he was human at some point in time, it was… the night was almost surreal and when Robin walked in right after I so wanted to tell her but I was right not to, their story needed to play out on its own.