Louis sat on a large grey rock, the tail end of his jacket cushioning his seat, as he stared vacantly at the rushing river, Ruby's voice barely registering to his ears as his mind wandered. The redhead was cleaning up the blood that stained his neck and chest, but the worst was yet to come. She was going to have to check his tongue next; or rather, the significant lack of it. God, he still couldn't believe it was gone, but the constant excruciating pain in his mouth was a clear reminder.
But that was the least of his worries. AJ and Tenn had been carted away by what remained of Lilly's group, and Clem was recuperating by the fire, after nearly drowning in the river. Thankfully, Violet had managed to pull her out in time. Louis just wished he could have been there to help, instead of being stuck here at their makeshift camp, wondering if Clem was even alive.
His gaze landed on her, the bright glowing embers twinkling in her eyes as she stared back, offering him a shy smile, which he returned. I'm glad you're okay, he thought, wondering if he could send that message telepathically.
Aasim and Willy were on guard duty at opposite ends of the tiny perimeter. The former had the string of his bow drawn back as his eyes scanned the line of trees, preparing to loosen an arrow into whatever stumbled into their camp. Omar was sitting in close proximity to Louis, his wounded leg already seen to and patched up by Ruby.
Minnie, after being shot by Violet, had passed out. Violet, with the help of Aasim, had managed to drag her out of the boat and onto the mainland. Ruby had patched her up as best she could, but they had still tied her arm to a tree, just in case. Can't be too careful.
Violet, who had been scouting the river, walked over to Clem and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Clem, are you ready to go?" she asked, meat cleaver already in hand, her grip on the handle tightening.
Clementine looked over at him again and shared a wavering glance. Louis held eye contact, his dark tired eyes pleading with her. Please don't go without me, please don't go without me. He wished she knew what he wanted.
She turned to face Violet and nodded, before steadily climbing to her fight. "Ready."
His eyes widened, and before he knew what he was doing, Louis was pushing passed Ruby and sprinting after the two girls, as they began to approach Aasim. Ruby's voice ripped through the air behind him, shattering the previously quiet atmosphere. "Louis! Come back!"
Clementine whirled around as soon as Louis caught up. His lips were moving a mile a minute, but whatever he tried to say came out as incoherent babbling and distressed noises. You can't leave me behind! his thoughts screamed. I know I'm in bad shape, but I can help, please Clem, you can't just-
Clem was watching in stunned silence, evidently confused judging by her expression, as he became progressively more frustrated at his inability to talk. Every time he restarted his sentences, the less sense it made. Louis felt tears begin to prick his eyes as he sighed heavily, the words dying in his throat. What's the point?
"Louis, are you okay?" Clementine asked concernedly. "Is something wrong?"
Louis nodded vigorously. Yes! I don't want to sit on the sidelines, I want to help AJ. I know how important he is to you, and he means a lot to me too!
Her brow became knitted with sorrow as she avoided his gaze miserably "I'm sorry, Louis, I- I don't know what you're trying to say," she admitted.
Louis pounded at his own chest, before pointing his finger at her, Violet, and Aasim, and then out into the woods - in the direction the raiders went.
"I think he wants to come with us," Violet muttered. She had barely finished her sentence before Louis started nodding again, a wave of euphoria rushing through him now that his blight was understood.
"You can't. It's dangerous, and Ruby still needs to patch you up," Clem replied.
No, please, you have to let me come. Louis begged, although his words were quickly lost in translation. It doesn't matter what happens to me, I need to make sure you're safe - I need to see AJ and Tenn safe. Clementine was already itching to leave, but he grabbed her hand and clutched it tightly, stopping her from moving another inch. She met his gaze once again, whilst he gave her puppy dog eyes. Don't leave me.
She sighed, her breath wavering and eyes glistening with the ghosts of tears. "Ok, fine, you can come. But you have to stay in my line of sight at all times. And definitely don't put yourself in harm's way. Let us take care of any walkers or raiders, and you just focus on making it back alive."
Elated, Louis pulled Clementine into a hug. She quickly relaxed and embraced him. Thank you, thank you! You won't regret it, I promise. He looked over at Ruby with a hopeful expression, and the redhead sighed dejectedly.
"You better come back in one piece," she said, pointing an accusatory finger at him. Too little too late, my sweet Ruby, he thought ruefully, though a sly smile crept on his face.
He started following them, but Clementine stopped him one last time, presenting him with a large hunting knife.
"I can't have you there unprotected," she said, offering the freckled boy a sad smile. He returned the gesture, gratefully accepting the weapon.
With that, the foursome headed out into the forest. Ruby and Willy had seen the rest of Lilly's group descend from the boat and walk along the opposite bank of the river, going downstream. So, the four of them headed in that general direction, their weapons at the ready in case any danger befell them.
They walked for the better part of an hour, thick clouds covering the morning sun from view. Birds had started welcoming the beginning of a new day, their sing-song voice almost mocking the freckled boy. As he walked, he kicked at the pebbles on the ground, absently humming a tuneless song. He took the rear of the group, Clem walking a few paces ahead of him.
He stared at the back of her head, sighing dejectedly. For hours, he'd heard her ramble about the best plan to get AJ and Tenn back until Aasim convinced her she needed to rest first. Of course, she hadn't slept. Louis had taken the night shift, unable to coarse his brain into sleep. The memories of last night's events were still fresh in his mind.
At one point, Violet slowed her pace to be level with him, her pale green eyes studying him up and down. She opened her mouth a few times, seemingly searching for words.
"You okay, Louis?" she asked finally, pursing her lips. "I know it's a stupid question, considering… but I gotta ask."
He looked up again at Clementine, heaving a sigh as he shook his head. He shrugged, pointing at Clem and then wrapping his arms around himself. Vi frowned at him, trying to decipher his rudimentary version of sign language.
"You're uh… worried?" she guessed, her eyes darting to Clem. Louis nodded slowly. Violet pursed her lips. "It's normal, but you gotta remember Clem is strong. She's survived more shit that all of us combined."
At that, Louis actually smiled. Before their conversation could go further, they heard Aasim call from ahead. They all gathered around Aasim, who was kneeling by an assault rifle tossed on the side of the river bank. The water flowed slowly downstream, its sound a soothing song against the silence of nature.
"Trail ends here," Aasim declared. What do you mean, trail ends here? Louis thought.
"What do you mean?" Clem asked, seemingly reading his thoughts.
"They must have crossed the river here," he explained, gesturing to the other bank. "This is where the tracks stop."
Goddamn it, Louis cursed, kicking a branch by a large oak. The others looked at him for a moment, concern present on their faces. He buried his hands in his dreads, attempting to pull them off. His eyes darted around his surroundings trying to find a clue they'd missed. "Might as well rest up for a bit," Aasim said.
While Clem, Violet, and Aasim sat on the ground, stretching their legs, Louis walked forward a few yards downstream. He stared at the ground intently, searching for tracks Aasim might have missed, but it was futile. Above them, dark clouds were forming; preventing what little sunrays were seeping through from reaching them. While he searched the sky, he noticed something was amiss and called out to his friends.
Guys! They're there! he was thinking, though his words came out of his mouth a garbled mess. Frustrated when they looked at him with confusion, he pointed at a point in the sky on the other side of the river. A column of smoke of billowing from amongst the trees, joining the black clouds.
"You think that might be their camp?" Clem asked, looking up at Louis. He nodded vigorously, gesturing at the water, making the motion of diving. "Yeah, you're right. We gotta swim across."
"What are we waiting for?" Violet said, making her way to the edge of the water. The others followed, and together they swam through the calm waters, making long strokes so as to not tire themselves. Once they reached the other side, Aasim spotted the smoke through the trees and beckoned them to follow him.
Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the edge of a small makeshift camp, about a hundred yards from one end to the other. The shrubbery was their only cover, extending the length of the western part of the camp. On one side were two rather large tents, one of which had a small lantern turned on inside. Through its fabric, they saw the shadows of two people standing over a table, seemingly in disagreement with each other.
The source of the smoke was a small campfire in the middle, fueled by at least a dozen logs to keep it going for a while. Louis spotted Dorian walking out of one of the tents, making her way to a third, smaller tent a few yards from the others. He let out an involuntary growl at the sight, his mouth curling into a snarl.
"What is it, Lou?" whispered Clem, looking sideways at him. He pointed at the woman who'd taken his tongue, making a slashing motion near his mouth. After a moment, Clem gasped, realization dawning on her. "She's the one who…?"
Louis simply nodded, a bitter taste filling his mouth. He heard Clem utter a similar growl to his, her golden eyes dead-set on the despicable woman. "I'll kill her," she said slowly.
No! Nothing like that. We're only getting Tenn and AJ, he wanted to tell her. He was shaking his head frantically, a plea in his eyes. When she looked at him, she sighed. "Alright, no unnecessary risks," she agreed, making him smile.
"I don't think Tenn and AJ are in this tent," Violet suggested, gesturing to the one with the two silhouettes closer to them. Two raiders were patrolling the perimeter, their rifles at the ready. Louis and the others ducked under the bushes as one of them got too close for comfort. When he was gone, Louis inspected the entire camp. He counted a total of six raiders including Dorian.
He showed both his hands to Clem, signaling six. She smiled at him and nodded. After a moment's thought, she turned to the others. "We should split up," she suggested. "Vi and Aasim, you will take that tent on the far side, while Louis and I check this one close to us."
"You sure?" Vi asked, her eyes darting to Louis.
I'm ready, damn it! He nodded aggressively, placing his hand on Clem's shoulder.
She looked back at him and grinned. "I think his mind is made up."
They all jumped as the clap of thunder announced a storm coming, tiny droplets falling on their faces. A thick grey smoke erupted from the campfire, and one of the raiders replaced the logs. Darkness fell upon them like a thick blanket, making the small fire and the lantern from the tent the only sources of light as the sunrays died with the storm. Through the sound of the rain, they could hear the distant moans and groans of walkers prowling for prey.
"Shouldn't be hard to sneak in under this rain," breathed Clem, her eyes set on the tent on the far side of the camp. "If we don't find each other, we'll meet up where we crossed the river, understood?"
Aasim and Violet both nodded. "Good luck," said Violet, heading to the east side of the camp, Aasim at her heels. Once they were out of sight, Clem and Louis made their way slowly toward the back side of the tent with the other light source. A small window with a screen stood on the side, and Clem approached it. Reluctantly, Louis followed her lead and perched himself beside her, looking out for danger on their back.
Inside the tent were Lilly and a woman they recognized as one of the raiders who attacked the school. Her face was contorted in anger, screaming at Lilly.
"I told you we shouldn't have taken these kids on!" she was saying, slamming her fist on the plastic table in between them. Lilly's back was to them, but her shoulders tensed up as the other woman screamed. "We should have cut our losses and taken those three kids back to the Delta."
"I just figured-"
"All you do is figure, Lilly," the woman growled. "Now we lost those three kids, seven good men, and our damned boat! All we got in return were those two scrawny little boys."
At the mention of the Tenn and AJ, Clem suppressed a gasp. Louis's hands balled up into fists. They're here, he thought. He knew Clementine was thinking along the same lines, and her hard expression confirmed it.
To their surprise, Lilly didn't even flinch as her mistakes were laid out in front of her. Strangely, a low chuckle escaped the woman. "You have a surprising lack of faith, Sullene," she said, with much more confidence that she had any right to. "After we take these kids back to the Delta, we'll go for the lot with more manpower."
"We can't afford to lose more people, Lilly," Sullene said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "We should take these kids back, and hope to god Michael doesn't kill us both." Without another word, the heavy woman left the tent, leaving Lilly alone in the faint glow of the lantern.
Clem and Louis shared a look and moved slowly over to the black tent. This one had no window, so they approached from the far side. She turned to Louis and nodded. "I need you to cover me," she whispered. "I'll check inside the tent for AJ or Tenn, and you'll-"
Louis pressed a finger to her lips as they heard the heavy footsteps of one of the raiders approaching the tent. They crouched lower, holding their breaths. Slowly, they saw him turn the corner and walk past them into the forest. He was whistling absently and stopped behind a tree a few yards away from the camp. They heard him untie his zipper, and Clem sprang to action.
She sneaked over to him, Louis watching helplessly from the side of the tent. Following her, he watched as Clem took a hold of the man's neck from behind, her knife dangerously close to his throat. "Shh," she whispered as he opened his mouth, shutting him up.
"Where are the two boys you took?" she asked, her tone irritated. Louis stood a few paces away from them, his eyes darting toward the camp every few seconds. Fortunately for them, the other raiders seemed to have been respecting this man's privacy.
We don't have time for this, Clem.
"One of them is in that black tent," he choked out, gesturing with his finger to the one they'd been surveying. "The other is tied up in the tent on the far side. They're both out of it, but they're alive. Please don't kill me," he breathed, raising his hands.
"Believe me, I want to," she whispered, pressing the edge of the knife softly against the man's neck, drawing blood. "But I'm not Lilly." She withdrew the knife, hitting the back of the man's head with the butt of it. Knocked out cold, the man's body dropped to the ground with a thud.
Together, he and Clem dragged him under a brush of bushes and crept back to the tent. As he watched Lilly's silhouette move about the other tent, he thought of an idea. He tapped Clem on the shoulder, making her turn.
"What is it?" she hissed. She already had a hand on the flap of the tent but followed his pointing finger. He was gesturing toward Lilly's tent. "Yeah, what of it?" Louis fumbled in his coat, withdrawing a small box of matches. He made the gesture of lighting one, imitating a fire with his fingers.
Let's burn this motherfucker to the ground.
"That's not a bad idea, actually," she said, nodding. "You light the fire and I'll get AJ out in the commotion. Hopefully Aasim and Violet see through your crazy plan." Excitedly, he nodded once more and bounded off to the other tent. He walked slowly, laying low when another guard's footsteps drew near. Fortunately, they subsided, and he resumed his plan.
When he got to the edge of the tent, he overheard Lilly muttering to herself, a groan escaping her. "Had to stab me in the leg, huh, AJ?" she breathed. "We'll make a soldier out of you yet." With determination in his eyes, Louis scratched the tip of a match on the rough surface of the box, creating a spark. The pitter-patter of the rain around him masked the flame's slow hissing sound.
With a hand protecting the flame, he edged it closer to the base of the tent. This better fucking work, he thought ruefully. The fire took quickly, and the flames started climbing their way up the fabric of the tent. As they spread farther, he heard Lilly's scream.
"FIRE!" she yelled at the others, bringing them to the site. As they tried to douse the flames, with little success, Louis crept back to the black tent, where Clem had already sneaked in. Nervously, he waited for her to emerge from inside, his eyes fixed on the flames as they engulfed the large tent not ten yards away from them. Two of Lilly's men attempted to put it out by throwing a bucket of water on one side, but the flames were already too high on the other.
"Got him," she heard Clementine say from beside him. She was carrying an unconscious Tenn in her arms, a bandage over his head.
I got him, he said, pointing at Tenn and then at himself. He didn't give Clem enough time to react as he grabbed him from her hands, nodding at her. They crept father away from the camp, still hearing the yells of the raiders, interspersed with the grumbling of nearby walkers. We don't have much time.
As they ran, Louis looked back over his shoulder. Clem was keeping up with him, her labored breaths masked by the thundering wind. Over her shoulder, Louis spotted the raiders going around their camp, most of them holding buckets to douse the flames. He could have sworn he saw Lilly looking in their direction from the middle of the camp, but they were already about fifty yards away.
Louis and Clem ran as fast as their feet would take them, the howling of the wind drowning out all other sounds in Louis's ears. He looked down at Tenn, a soft smile on his face. We're getting you out of here. He jumped over a fallen tree, stumbling slightly. As they continued their journey back to the river bank, he called over his shoulder to Clem. We gotta hurry; they could be right behind us!
Of course, his words were lost in his mouth, a garbled mess of noises replacing them. A strong gust of wind blew past them, making him shiver. Not long now, Tenn. It was then that he spotted Aasim through the tree line, kneeling over an unconscious AJ on the edge of the river. Violet stood over him, her cleaver clutched tightly in her right hand.
As he reached them, he placed Tenn slowly on the ground beside AJ, his own breaths labored from running. He looked up at Aasim and Violet, equal looks of concern on their faces. I'm okay guys, he wanted to tell them, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. Are you guys hurt? He gestured to them, pointing at a gash on Violet's right cheek.
"This?" she said dismissively. "Ran into one of those fuckers in the tent. He won't be bothering us," she said coldly, sending shivers down his spine.
"Uh, Louis?" he heard Aasim ask, turning to the other boy. "Where's Clem?"
His blood went cold. Turning around, he realized for the first time that Clementine was not beside him. He scanned the tree line in search of her. Clementine! CLEMENTINE! his yells were muffled by the thundering storm, the tears in his eyes masked by the rain falling over his head.
Maybe she took a detour? Maybe she's alright? He doubted both those thoughts. He turned to Aasim and Violet, pointing at the boys and then over the river. Take them back to Ruby. I'll go back for Clem.
"Are you crazy?" Violet exclaimed, approaching him. "You'll die out there, Louis. Please, don't go," she pleaded.
His mind was made up, though. He shook his head slowly, shrugging. I don't care what happens to me anymore, he thought, but I can't leave Clem behind. His best friend looked into his brown eyes, a frown in her pale green ones. Sighing, she nodded and turned to Aasim, picking up AJ.
"You better be back right away," she said to him.
He nodded firmly and turned toward the woods, breaking into a sprint. Rain poured down around him, forming puddles on the ground beneath his feet. The soft slapping sound of his boots against the mud was all he heard as he searched in the dark.
After five minutes of seeing no sign of his girlfriend, he heard voices ahead of him. Clem! As he got closer to the voices, they became clearer. Louis heard Clem growl something, followed by the unmistakable drawling voice of Lilly. Turning a corner, he stifled a gasp upon seeing them.
Clem stood on the edge of a clearing, her hands balled into fists. Another lightning flashed across the sky, shining over Lilly menacingly, followed by the clap of thunder. On the other side of the clearing was Lilly, a gun clutched in her right hand. The barrel was aimed straight at Clem. No, Clem!
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Lilly was saying, her voice high above the sound of the storm. Another thunder roared above them.
"I'm getting my people back!" Clem shot back, venom in her words. "All of them!"
"Not all of them," said Lilly, raising the gun and aiming at her head. "You think I wanted to do this? You think I take enjoyment in taking kids to have them fight for us?"
"So you're just a saint, right?" Clem shot. Thunder clapped again. "You kidnapped my people! YOU CUT OFF LOUIS'S TONGUE!" Louis crept closer to Lilly from her left, brandishing his knife. His heart was pounding hard, threatening to jump out of his chest any minute.
"I'm following orders," Lilly corrected the girl, her voice breaking. "You don't know how bad it is out there! Our community is dying, and we need every soldier we can get to fight against our enemy." Thunder.
"Somehow, I find that hard to believe," Clem spat, her hands on her hips. "But you're not getting to my friends while I'm here. So if you want to get to them, shoot me!"
Clem, what are you trying to pull here? he thought, inching closer to Lilly. By now, he could see the lines that streaked her face. Strangely, her eyes glistened with tears. As he approached her, the memory of her in the cells flashed before his eyes. Her disdainful look as she ordered Dorian to take out her knife. I'll make them pay, Clem had said to him that night.
I'll make her pay, alright, he thought, fire burning in his eyes. As yet another thunder roared in the sky, he leaped forward, plunging the knife into Lilly's side. They stumbled sideways, and Louis fell on top of her, his knife still clutched tightly in his hands. Lilly looked up at him, her eyes wide.
"You!" she screamed, struggling to get out of his grasp. But he was stronger. He was kneeling over her, both his legs pinning her to the ground. The tip of his knife was aimed straight at her heart, slowly inching downwards. Though she tried to hold him off, the adrenaline coursing through his veins fueled him with anger.
You're not hurting my friends again, you evil bitch! He wished he could have said it right as he sunk the knife through her heart, watching into her eyes as the life seeped out of them and her mouth filled with blood. Breathing heavily, he lifted himself off Lilly's body. His hands were shaking as he looked up at Clem with a triumphant smile. We did it, Clem.
When his eyes met hers, his blood went cold. She was looking at him with wide eyes, her hands clutching her stomach. He looked down at them and his heart dropped. Beneath her fingers, a flower of blood blossomed on her shirt, spreading in every which direction until her shirt was almost completely red. As Clementine kneeled down, Louis got to his feet and rushed toward her.
CLEMENTINE!
He fell to his knees, taking Clem by the shoulders and laying her on his legs. You're alright, it's alright, his might kept repeating, like a mantra. She coughed as he moved her, droplets of blood staining her chin. This wasn't happening. It was some sick trick. He cupped her face, tears stinging his eyes.
"Louis," she breathed, looking up at him with a smile. "Thank you."
Thank me? For what? I should have been faster, Clem, I'm so sorry. He was getting increasingly frustrating as the garbled sounds that escaped his mouth caused her to frown. Rain kept pouring down on them, thunder clapping above. The lightning that lit up the sky shone on Clem's face, her cheeks pale as she kept losing blood.
"Louis, it's okay," she assured him, raising her hand and placing it on his cheek. "I'm okay with this."
No, you don't mean that, Clem! Don't do this to me. I love you, Clem. I love you… he mouthed, hoping to god she'd understand him. To his relief, she smiled up at him, pulling his face closer to her. She closed the gap between them, pressing her lips to his. Her hands gripped his dreads tightly, keeping him in place for a few seconds of passion.
As they pulled apart, she sighed contently. "I love you too, Louis," she whispered. "I'm sorry it has to end this way, leaving you guys alone with AJ."
No, I'll gladly take care of him! he wanted to say, shaking his head vehemently and pointing at himself. She coughed again, blood oozing from the corner of her mouth. I can't lose you, Clem. Please don't leave me. She smiled sadly, looking down at their intertwined fingers.
"I'm going to assume you just said something cute and funny," she said softly.
"Louis, I've lived past my time. I've seen the people I love either leave or die, all for me," she said, her breath becoming labored. He placed his hand over her injury, shuddering when he felt the warm blood seeping through his fingers. Please, Clem…
"I just want to rest now," she said, nodding. "I love you guys so much. I hope you can forgive me," she added, her eyes darting to his mouth and then dropping sadly. Tears pricked at both their eyes, streaking their cheeks. Another thunder clapped as Louis sniffled, shaking his head.
There's nothing to forgive, Clementine. This is not your fault, he tried to said, shaking his head and pointing at his tongue, or lack thereof. They stayed silent for a minute, basking in each other's presence, for however long that would last. Louis just kept shaking his head, willing his brain to wake him up from this living nightmare. This wasn't happening, there's no way Clementine's dying.
"I'm gonna need you to take care of… me, too," she said simply, looking up at Louis with a plea in her eyes. He nodded slowly, pressing her body closer to his. Of course, Clem. I'll… take care of it. How he was going to do it, he didn't know.
To his surprise, Clem cleared her throat then. Her eyes were looking at a place somewhere deep in the forest, the tears accenting the beautiful golden hue of her irises. She began singing then. The same song Louis had sung for her when he learned her name.
"Oh my darling, oh my darling.
Oh my darling, Clementine."
Her voice broke when she got to her name, making her shake her head. Louis kissed her forehead slowly, as if afraid he'd break her upon contact. He gestured for her to go on, relishing every second of her singing.
"You are lost and gone forever.
Dreadful sorry, Clementine."
She cupped his face, looking deep into the eyes that had once harbored so much joy and hope, and whose spark had suddenly died away. How could he live on without Clem? The girl who had saved him from the raiders. The girl who confessed she loved him. The girl he loved.
"Light she was… and like a fairy,"
Clem coughed once more; breathing heavily as she slowly shook her head. How am I gonna tell AJ? Louis thought ruefully, his mind racing a thousand miles a second.
"And her shoes were number nine," she choked out, more blood decorating her mouth. She looked up at Louis one last time, an uncharacteristic smile making his world a little less dark, if not for a second.
"Dreadful sorry, Clementine…"
As she struggled to sing the last line with labored breaths, her eyes closed, a smile etched on her face as she relaxed. Louis stared down at her, unable and unwilling to believe what was happening in front of him. Her body stiffened as she drifted off, and Clementine's spark died off one last time.
Louis stood in the middle of the courtyard, the afternoon sun bearing down on him. He'd just finished his watch shift, having been relieved by AJ. He looked back at the young boy and smiled. He'd turned ten a few months ago, and was growing strong as his mother. Birds chirped above him as he made his way to a very special place in the school.
Past the gate to the right of the admin building was the graveyard. In it, five graves lined the walls. He passed Marlon's and Brody's, sparing a small glance for them. He'd have to get flowers for them soon. On the far end was the one he'd been looking for, lined by a pair of bouquets of roses.
A large rock stood at the head of it, rough carvings on its surface.
"Here lies Clementine.
May we meet again."
He'd chosen that inscription himself, shortly after her funeral. He wasn't sure where he'd read that, but it seemed fitting at the time. Now, it was an ever-present reminder that she wasn't here anymore; and that he was. He didn't even know her birthday. What kind of boyfriend doesn't know his girlfriend's birthday?
A soft breeze picked up from the courtyard, blowing on the flaps of his coat. Sighing, Louis fumbled inside his back pocket for a piece of crumpled paper, straightening it on his leg. For the past five years, he'd taken short trips to the graveyard, and he'd always end up brooding in the corner, so he wanted to do right by her.
Slowly, he kneeled down and placed the piece of paper on the grave, its messy lines of paragraph facing into the sun. In his mind, he read them to her, hoping against hope that she was out there somewhere listening to him.
Clementine:
It's been five years since you left us, and I still miss you. It's funny, because I only knew you for three weeks, but I will always cherish them as the best three weeks of my life. You believed in me, when no one else did… You trusted me with AJ, and I've done my best to honor your sacrifice every day for the past five years. He's getting bigger, actually. I hope you'd approve of my parenting, though I never had any experience with that. He talks about you a lot, and most days I try to keep his mind off it by telling him stories from when I was younger. Maybe I do it to keep my mind off it too. I don't know…
Even after five years, I can't help but think of what could have happened if I'd been a little faster, or a little smarter. But I guess that's what you were thinking after you found me in that cell. I didn't blame you then, and I don't blame you now. As for AJ, he and I will always be thinking of you. I hope you can forgive me.
Love, Louis.
He'd memorized those words back to back, having spent the better part of a month on them. Some days, he wondered how it was that Clem had coped with the loss of so many of his loved ones at such a young age. He'd give anything not to be feeling like that now.
Shortly after her death, Violet had found a book on sign language for him to learn, and he'd put it to good use. Turning toward the courtyard, he looked over his shoulder at her grave and made a gesture with his hands.
I'm sorry. I love you.