[[Trigger warning: Suicide
Disclaimer: I do not own EEnE or any of its characters.
Enjoy!]
Edd was tired.
He was tired of never being good enough, despite being top of his class. He was tired of his parents being absent. They'd missed a few too many birthdays. He was tired of being an outsider. He didn't belong anywhere anymore. Not after Eddy turned on him. That leads to another thing he was tired of. Cruelty and fear. All because he came out to his best friends. Ed, of course, didn't mind. But Eddy blew a fuse. He cut all ties with Edd then and there, and spread the news of Edd's sexuality. By morning, the whole school knew. The bullies swarmed like hornets and they were merciless. He grew to actually hate school. There were only three people who were kind to him. One, obviously, was Ed. His kind hearted nature made it impossible for him to leave his best friend. The second was Nazz, who was just generally a good person. The third came as the biggest shock: Kevin. No, they weren't really friends, but Kevin greeted him casually and broke up the beatings now and then. He protected Edd, and it made him feel terribly guilty for feeling the way he did about Kevin. They were feelings he'd hidden for years, knowing it would only end in pain if he said something.
Yes, Edd was very tired. Tired of everything. So he sat down at his desk, pulled out 6 pieces of paper, 6 envelopes and a pen, and he wrote.
Dear Mother,
I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm tired of all of this, and I'm tired of being alone. I hope this isn't a burden on you and Father.
Dear Father,
Forgive me. In your eyes, I know I never added up. In my heart, I know I failed you, but you left me here alone. I'm tired of spending my birthday by myself.
Dear Eddy,
I suppose you'll be happier with me gone. What you did was horrible and cruel. Even our years of friendship can't fix this. Please forgive me, but I can't forgive you.
Dear Ed,
Don't hate me. I can no longer be by your side. I truly love you Ed, and I was lucky to have you in my life. Please don't cry. Thank you for everything.
Dear Nazz,
Please understand. I only did what I thought was truly right. I was just too sick of it all. Thank you for all you've done.
He paused and gathered all his courage, then began his final letter.
Dear Kevin,
I owe you so much. Much more than just this letter, and I'm sorry this is all I can give you. The kindness you showed me was truly wonderful and so generous of you. I don't deserve such kindness, but I thank you none the less. Since this letter is the last I will ever write, and these will be my last words to you, I have something to get off my chest. I know you'll probably be disgusted, and hate me for them, but I've got nothing to lose. I love you Kevin Barr. I have since we were children. Its not just because you're handsome. Despite you being a bit of a bully in middle school, I saw the good in you. The way you treated Nazz and Rolf. You were different. I'm glad I at least got to experience a little of that kindness. It felt like, even if only for a second, you cared about me. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry.
Edd signed each letter with his name and the word "goodbye", and put them in envelopes. He labeled each one, and laid them in a straight line on his bed. He fetched a sturdy rope from the garage, tied a slipknot in one end, and, using his desk chair, tied the other to his ceiling fan. He stepped up on the chair and slipped the noose over his head. With a deep breath, eyes shut and a sad smile on his lips, he kicked the chair over. There was a thud from the weight, a strangled gasp for air, and then near silence. The only sound left in the house was that of a tired beanie clad boy, dangling from the ceiling fan.
[[chapter two is probably the last chapter]]