A.S.: note I did not come up with this chapter's name...good ole Gorillaz did :D heehee...
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Anonymous Saru: Hullo all...this is mah first story to upload on FF(dot)net??? YESH I do believe so... xD well anywhoo...I liked writing this chappie. It was fun...esp. making Gaara all angsty XD ha...but anywhoo...lemme give yall the happy stuff before I start!
Anonymous Saru side note: this fic is le AU! Alternate Universe! Woo
Disclaimer: Just because I share the wonderful Kishimoto last name (well...I kinda stole it...but its just my nickname, sadly enough not my legal last name...just my good ole japanese nickname's last name. Confused? Visit my Xanga porfavor!) ...doesn't mean I own Naruto...hell if I owned Naruto...lets just say...WE'D GET TO THE DAMMNED POLT FASTER! And Naruto and Sasuke wouldn't be so bloody cannon!
Rated: M...for safety reasons...lots o' cussin; and lots o' blood... (Sorry I kinda make Gaara go all crazy ehehe...) plus some good ole "Mano Mano Homofucking Sex Galore!" btw not my words...they'd be Dee's words from Fake :D
Main Pairings: SasuNaru; GaaNeji; KakaIru
Side Pairings (meaning I won't go way into it like the three main ones) ShikaTem; LeeSaku; ChojiIno; KibaHina
And to make things clear: Naruto - bad guy; Gaara - bad guy; Shikamaru – bad guy; Itachi – bad guy; Kiba – bad guy; Sai – bad guy; Temari – bad guy; Kankuro – bad guy; Sasuke – good guy; Neji – good guy; Sakura – good guy; Ino – good guy; Lee – good guy; Choji – good guy; Hinata – good guy; Kakashi – good guy; Iruka – good guy; Shino – good guy; Tenten – in between
If I was blunt on ages:
19 – Hinata. 20 – Naruto and Shikamaru. 21 – Neji, Sakura, Ino, Choji, Kiba and Shino. 22 – Sasuke and Gaara. 23 – Lee, Sai and Kankuro. 24 – Tenten and Temari. 27 – Itachi, Kabuto and Iruka and Rin. 29 – Kakashi. 30 – Jiraiya and Obito. 33 – Orochimaru. 35 – Tsunade. (Sorry girl...gotta make ya old xD)
One last thing: Plot right now takes place in America...but for the use of Japanese words...it's in Cali xD (why Cali? Coz...gotta have lots of crime...xD I know stupid reason...but still me likey Cali)...it'll also take place in Germany and London; mabbi in Japan too...and oh before I get on wiff the story, Naruto, Iruka, and Shika are from England. Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Orochimaru and Kabuto are from Germany. An good ole' Kiba, he's from Scotland. Itachi, Sasuke, Neji and Hinata are from Japan... The rest are from America! Woo now on with the story!
One more thing: Just kidding...I wanted to say that... :D
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Chapter 1: Kids with Guns
Naruto smirked to himself as he was about to walk into the police station adjusting his hat. He walked in.
"Hullo all!" Naruto said in his vogue English accent.
"Hello Uzumaki-san." A quiet voice piped up.
"Hello Hinata-chan! Anything on that Kyuubi fellow?"
"Oh come now Uzumaki, you know we can't give out that kind of information to you..." Hinata said matter of fact.
"Well...I got you to finally call me Uzumaki instead of calling me 'Uzumaki-san' now that's something!" He said in a cheery voice. Making Hinata realize and blush.
"Sumimasen Uzumaki-san..." she said looking down, while she fiddled with her fingers and thumbs.
"Well I best be on my way then...lots to deliver..." Naruto said as he made his way to forensics.
"Okay Choji here's your daily bag of potatoes, your in luck too mate! We got a shipment in of your favorite kind..." Naruto paused as he fiddled with his bag.
Choji jumped with joy "the Barbeque chips?!"
"Oh no silly! Not those! The vinegar and salt ones! Oh Choji...I'm only kiddin' mate..."
"Oh good that's good...you had me nervous there for a minute." Choji replied as Naruto gave him a bag full of his favorite BBQ chips.
"Oh this is new...who's this...um...this is new...now where would I find these guys?" Naruto said as he looked at the remaining contents in his bag.
"Who're you lookin for?" Choji said as he opened his first bag.
"Well...Kakashi and a Sasuke...whoever they are. Now where could I find them?" Naruto asked as he shifted the weight on his messenger bag so it wouldn't hurt his shoulder anymore.
"Oh well...Kakashi's not here right now if you give it to Kiba I guess he could give it to him." Choji said as he chomped onto his second bag of BBQ chips.
"Okay now who's this Kiba bloke? He have a last name?" Naruto asked from the door.
"He doesn't work here...he's just a vet for our dogs. But his last name is Inuzuka." Shino said in a non-interested tone.
"Inuzuka..." Naruto paused as if remembering the name, "Okay. I'll deliver it to him!" Naruto said as he walked off.
On his way to deliver to Kakashi's office Naruto ran into not one, but two people in uniform. Him being small and dainty (damn genetics...which he got from his mother) he fell over.
"Oomf!" Naruto squeaked.
Neither of the two looked behind them, or even apologized to poor little Naruto.
"Geesh least you could do is say fuckin' 'I'm sorry fer knocking ya over' jackasses..." Naruto mumbled darkly as he got to his feet.
He looked down at his bag and murmured more swear words, "dammit! Kakashi's lube is broken...damn. This is coming out of my paycheck!"
With that Naruto quickened his pace as he finally made it to Kakashi's office.
"Inuzuka-san, Kakashi-san? Are either of you two here?"
"I'm Inuzuka? Why? Who asks?" a voice with a hint of a Scottish accent said from behind a table.
"Oh nothin really special just a delivery to Kakashi...think you could give it to 'em when he comes in?"
"Uhhh...sure I guess so..." Kiba responded.
"Great—" Naruto paused as he opened his bag, "—but one of his packages is broken tell him to stop by when he's done with work and I'll make sure to give it to 'im." Naruto finished as he gave Kiba the Viagra.
"Okay one last thing, you think you could lead me to a...Sasuke? I have a package for 'im too..."
"You don't have to, he just passed by..." Kiba said as he turned his attention to the dogs.
"Kay. Thanks Kiba-san!" Naruto said as he rushed towards the door.
Naruto being a good runner (for certain things) caught up to them pretty quick, "Hey! Sasuke-san! Wait!!" Naruto yelled out.
Sasuke, having perfect hearing by not blasting his ear drums out like all his friends did when they were young heard his name from far away and stopped to turn around. To only see a fury of blond hair charge at him.
Naruto not having good rubber soles (blasted converses) couldn't stop properly and ran right into Sasuke's chest.
Naruto got a mouthfull of bluish-black cloth; when he opened his eyes Sasuke's badge blinded him but only before he could get a glimpse of Sasuke's last name, "Uchiha...that explains it!" Naruto whispered.
"Explains what?" Sasuke said suspiciously.
"Oh! I was just saying Uchiha sounded familiar, because I read an article about you in today's paper! So you're the bloke who's on the Kyuubi case right? Heh I hope you catch him...but then again he is the only one to shake up this stupid dull life. But he is a criminal. And criminals disobey laws so he should be brought down to justice!" Naruto jested.
"But anywho, enough with all this Kyuubi crap! Not that you don't get an earful of it by the media shouldn't mean I should put my own two cents in either! I have something for you..." Naruto said as he rummaged through his bag.
"Ah! Here it is!" Naruto said finally revealing the sticky box of aspirin. "Your headache reliever sir!"
"Oh um...wait a second...hold on...lemme clean this off for ya...sorry... Someone's lube broke...as you can see...made a mess heh heh." Naruto said cleaning the box off embarrassedly, and handed the box back to Sasuke.
"Well best be on my way. Hope you catch that Kyuubi fellow soon!" Naruto said as he turned on his heel and walked away.
Sasuke stood there trying to fully absorb what had just happened right there.
"Well you going to let him go that easily?" A voice stated besides him.
"...shut up Neji..." Sasuke said shooting one of his famous 'I'm going to kill you' death glares towards Neji.
"Well he did clean the lube that was on your box of aspirin with his shirt." Neji said while ignoring Sasuke's death glare. Rule number one, if you can survive one of Sasuke Uchiha's death glares...you're set for life. Only three people are said to actually survive his death glares; old lady Tsunade, his boss. Itachi Uchiha, his brother...he invented the death glare, its not Sasuke's fault for just perfecting it. And last but not least Neji Hyuga, because he's famous with tormenting people by just chatting with them.
Sasuke gave up and began to walk off to his office before Neji cut in, "You know you're not going to get any points with him that way Sasuke..."
Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks, "Sh—shut up Neji!" Sasuke stammered out.
"Ohh hoo it seems I've actually struck a nerve hmm?" Neji sneered finally getting his chance to gloat at Sasuke.
"If you want to see the light of day again I'd advise you to shut the hell up..." Sasuke shot back and continued to walk towards his office. He needed a vacation, but with Kyuubi on the loose he won't get one. Damn cat burglars.
Outside Naruto was just about to walk off as a car horn honked at him. "What the hell! I'm on the bloody sidewalk!—" Naruto said as he turned around, "Oh! Kankuro! It's just you...sorry mate...didn't mean to yell at you... So what are you doing here? It's pretty unusual for you to pick me up..." Naruto said walking towards the old Bentley.
"Gaara's waiting..." was all Kankuro said.
This caught Naruto's attention, which explained the Bentley. Gaara always loved to ride in old cars, Kankuro always loved to drive new cars.
"Okay but I have to wait on a customer. It should probably be around five-ish? It'll depend on the chap...he might want it tho." Naruto said pondering.
"Well you know Gaara...he is the boss..." Kankuro said getting on the driver's side while Naruto got in the back with Gaara.
"Hey Gaara...I have to wait for somebody to come pick up something...now now don't give me that look..." Naruto said nervously, if looks could kill Naruto would be a dead man right where he sat. "Some asshole broke something that was glass and it all spilled in my bag, but beside the point I have to wait fer 'em to come. Which'll probably take a while...or more then a few seconds. 'Cause the guys' a cop." Naruto said looking down.
Naruto knew Gaara despised the cops (for more then one reason) but waiting on them, is a different story.
"This is putting a damper on our plan Naruto..." Gaara said darkly as he turned around and looked at the scenery.
Naruto soon realized that Gaara and him (and also Kankuro; but he's driving) weren't the only ones in on their conversation. Why you might ask? To put it simple, Gaara never calls Naruto 'Naruto' when it was just the two of them. Gaara would always call him Kyuubi.
The car ride to the store seemed to go painfully slow, as if time itself stopped. It was silently driving both Naruto and Gaara crazy. Gaara, having nerves of steel and a facial expression of a robot never shows anything. But poor little Naruto, was fidgeting. The best thing he could do, what? Did you want him to pull his hair? Pluck off the camera and throw it out of the car? Let them know that he knows that they're spying on him?? But that would only make the suspicion on him raise more—
"—we're here boys..." Kankuro said cutting through the awkward silence and also Naruto's thoughts.
It's a good thing I can't wear my hat inside the store...finally I actually appreciate the store policy about not wearing hats inside the store. I always thought it was a stupid policy, but then again I never thought it would actually save me from more awkward silence. Naruto thought as he removed his messenger bag and hat. Tossing the hat first onto the chair and the bag second, hoping it would crush the little spy camera. Which it did.
Naruto walked over to his counter and took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote something on it nonchalantly. To the lazy eye it seemed as if it was his grocery list. But it really was a code to Gaara.
Gaara shook his head but clasped his ears slightly.
Naruto wrote something down, again in code, again only Gaara could understand and walked off. The room where he put his bag's door was still open. The room was small and tiny. Only meant for one, it was more like a giant cubby. For the person who works their shift. The room had a boom box incase it got dull (courtesy of our little Naruto) when there was nobody there. The room also had a small table with a lamp on; which was off at the time, and a small couch. There were blinds on the window which showed outside the room and to the counter. Naruto never actually knew why there were blinds there, but never really questioned it either. He only used the room to rock out to music or to sleep if he hadn't gotten enough sleep. He was able to do that because he was the last shift for the store during weekdays.
Naruto closed the door slowly and walked back towards the counter. Gaara smirked softly, "Good. Silence is golden, but it coming from you is unnerving."
"Oh HAH-HAH mister smart-ass!" Naruto pouted.
"But anywhoo...what are we doing tonight?" Gaara asked sitting on the counter's top.
"Well I got a call from Shika...you know the lazy ass never does his real job by always sleeping... But I got a call from him this morning around...oh say 11? Here's what he told me. Tonight in the art museum, they're setting up an exhibition on the Holocaust. He said it might interest you..." Naruto paused as he let Gaara take this all in.
It was said that some of Gaara's ancestors were Jewish and some of them were Nazi's. Yeah Gaara was born in Germany, to make things clear. He lived there for about two years with his older sister, Temari and older brother, Kankuro. His parents died of some disease or famine of some sort so they moved to England with their grandparents.
That's were he met Naruto, and their friendship grew...but not like one of those sappy romance movies they were forced to see. Temari gets scary when she wants things done her way. So she forced all the guys to go see sappy romance movies with her and her grandmother.
"Here-here's a brochure, Shika had just enough time to fax this over to me." Naruto said pulling out a brochure one the Holocaust exhibit.
Gaara looked up at Naruto before taking the brochure but his eyes met someone else's.
Naruto looked surprised before turning his face to see, "Ah hullo...Sasuke-san right?"
Sasuke nodded, "I'm here for Kakashi's package... He's a little tied up at the moment, so he asked me to come instead." Sasuke said bitterly. Yeah sure Kakashi actually was tied up with work...instead of reading one of his dirty books, Icha Icha Paradise. And it was true Sasuke was just about to leave to go home, help pass out candy to the trick-o-treaters. So that Obito could get some rest.
Pah, stupid porno magazines, almost every cop I work with is perverted. Sasuke thought bitterly looking around examining his surroundings.
Sasuke looked at the person named Gaara. He was wearing some ancient 15th century vampire gothic attire get-up. Black leather pants, a red wife beater, and a crimson lace jacket. With an old silver cross dangling along his pale neck. And some old combat boots on his feet.
His eyes either made him look like he's an insomniac or he has to much eye liner on. Either way it adds to the vampire affect, along with his body being to pale. Sasuke also noted that Gaara didn't have any eyebrows. Either Gaara had way too much fun waxing his eyebrows off that it finally became permanent or he was just born with no eyebrows. His turquoise eyes peaked out of red hair. While his ears had three pricings.
"Take a picture it'll last longer. Hasn't your mum told you not to stare...didn't she tell you that it's rather rude?" Gaara said folding his arms and crossing his legs.
"Sorry it took so long! Had to go to stock to get this...boy your mate Kakashi sure is lucky! This is the last lube we have in stock... Okay here ya go!" Naruto said breaking the two's little glaring match.
Sasuke took the bottle reluctantly; he didn't have the patience to continue the glaring match. Although he would've one, that Gaara sure did have nerves of steel. Sasuke made a move for his back pocket grabbing his wallet.
"Oh don't worry it's already paid for." Naruto said.
"Can't I give you money for it since I was the 'asshole' who helped break it?" Sasuke said.
"Please Uchiha-san...I don't believe in charity...keep your money..." Naruto mumbled.
"Alright then, Arigato gozaimasu...Naruto." Sasuke said as he headed outside. Kakashi was going to pay for actually making him go out to get his lube. Who's in charge of whom!? But maybe...the encounter would be interesting? After all this Gaara character...able to survive one of my death glares...hmm...well I got a good picture of him and with a unique name such as his should be easy to find on our database... Sasuke thought as he headed out to his car, long forgetting that he actually wanted to go home before this.
"What exactly did you do Gaara?" Naruto asked. Sure Naruto knew Gaara's preferences after all why would Gaara have dated Ita—"Ne Gaara, you're aware that you just talked to Sasuke... An Uchiha."
Gaara froze. Naruto took the silence as a 'no'. Gaara glared once more after taking a deep long sigh.
"Did Kankuro leave or stay?" Naruto asked breaking through the awkward silence once again.
"You'll find out soon enough Naruto..." Gaara said as he hopped off of the counter table and walked around to the front.
"Hurry up Naruto, if we plan on breaking dusk."
"Okay Gaara!" Naruto said as he looked the door to the room, long forgetting his hat and messenger bag, he locked up. Naruto had just walked outside as he brushed by somebody.
"Oh...hey Sai...how—how are you?" Naruto said looking the drug dealer in the eye, meeting his smiling face.
It was a little bit creepy; Sai's smiles are always a little bit unnerving. Anyone who gets the smiles feels like they're about to get raped or molested.
"Comere kid...ya got something on ya collar..." Sai said pulling the mini-camera Sasuke must have put on him back in the store. Damn that Sasuke's quick.
"Oh thanks...must've been a bug or something. Thanks Sai—" Naruto paused and whispered, "don't follow us...we could be followed...plus you already have a bad rep with the cops don't make it worse Sai. This is an order...and if you disobey it don't expect to come back to the KD with arms wide open..." Naruto said in Sai's ear, so the camera couldn't pick it up.
"Kay Naru-chan!" Sai said enjoying his threat; Naruto couldn't threaten anyone to save his life. Well, maybe pulling his puppy eyes might be able to save him.
With that Naruto got into the old Bentley.
"So let's get down to business Shukaku..." Naruto said in his perfect mocking American accent.
Gaara's lips twitched into a smile before becoming a smirk, "Alright Kyuubi..." Boy he sure did love how good Naruto sounded switching to different accents. But the job called for it. And Naruto couldn't help it if he was good at it.
Kankuro pulled up to Naruto's apartment and Gaara and him got out and headed inside.
"Alright get everything on except your mask..." Gaara said from Naruto's bedroom door.
"Alright!" Naruto chirped in his mocking American accent.
Naruto walked over to his bed side table and kneeled, he removed a floor board and picked up; tight black spandex shorts (he couldn't exactly wear his regular underwear with the rest of his clothes now could he?), tight black leather pants. A tight wife beater, and black belt with a cross emblem on it. Some gloves, combat boots, and other accessories too.
Naruto got up to get changed and kicked the floorboard back into place, leaving his porcelain Kyuubi mask all alone.
Gaara looked around Naruto's apartment. It was pretty clean for only having three rooms. The room he was half standing in was the main room. The living room and kitchen combined into one. Three bar stools symbolized and a bar table was where the kitchen was. Naruto didn't have that much pots and pans; he didn't make enough in his salary. Although Gaara didn't understand why Naruto just didn't pawn off one of the old paintings that he had stolen, but then again the police could track him down, even if he gave it to Sai who gave it to a druggie. It would still come back to Sai, and eventually Naruto.
There was a table by the door; Gaara assumed that's where Naruto payed off his bills. It lead Gaara to wonder how much Naruto gets charged, and how much his rent was... Gaara directed his attention to the living part of the room. Nothing big or huge; just a regular couch with a coffee table in between the couch and t.v. The t.v. seemed pretty sizable; Naruto must have saved up for this kind of t.v. with his salary. Naruto's apartment did have a balcony. That's where Naruto kept all his plants. Even if Naruto doesn't show it...he's a big plant fan. Some how he manages to water them daily without getting charged for using the water.
Gaara turned his direction to the other half of the room he was standing in, Naruto's bedroom. Pretty small...compared to the main room. It was big enough for a bed, a dresser, a bedside table; which had a broken alarm clock on it. Looks like Naruto doesn't like waking up but, had to stop buying new ones because he ran out of money.
His bedroom lead to a tiny hall for the bathroom; which Gaara couldn't see because it was in use.
"Alright, I'm ready..." Naruto said as he exited out of his bathroom.
Naruto's black leather pants showed off every curve in his body. While his wife beater showed off every muscle on his chest and arms. The belt with the cross emblem gave his attire some look, although Naruto himself wasn't looking for the "gothic/emo" look. While his gloves (which had nails...picture the ANBU's gloves to get the idea) stopped half way past his elbow.
"Well I'm ready mate..."
"You know it's a good thing that we're doing this on Halloween, there's going to be a lot of 'fake yous' running around..."Gaara mused.
"And don't forget about you either." Naruto said grabbing his coat.
Gaara chuckled to himself as they went down the stairs and to the car.
"Alright Scarecrow...take us to KD." Gaara said crossing his legs, refusing to buckle up. That's one thing Gaara wouldn't do...buckle up.
"Right away Shukaku..." Kankuro said as he started the car.
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"I'll be out soon you two, wait in the car..." Gaara said to Naruto and Kankuro.
Minutes later Gaara came out wearing black leather pants (cept I don't think he's wearing any spandex or underwear underneath), a black wife beater showing off his muscular body and a belt with a skull emblem on it. His gloves were different then the ones Naruto has. They have no claws and no fingers, but it doesn't make a difference.
Gaara doesn't handle anything else he just kills people. But Gaara is careful not to touch anything.
"Alright Scarecrow take us away!" Naruto cheered happily, in his fake American accent.
"Where to boys?" Kankuro asked.
"To a Halloween store..." Gaara smirked.
Kankuro smirked to himself as he drove the three of them to "Spanky Sam's Halloween Costume Deluxe" store, but before Naruto was able to get out of the car Gaara paused.
"Ne, Naruto...give me your gloves and belt..."
Naruto hesitated, "A-alright sure, I guess..." he said as he unbuckled his belt and took his gloves off, handing them both to Gaara.
"Good, tonight you're going as me; and me as you." Gaara mused as he pulled off his own gloves and belt; handing them to Naruto as well as taking Naruto's gloves and belt, putting them on.
Naruto smiled, "That's a good idea Shu! Maybe that'll throw off the coppers..." Naruto mused as he took Gaara's gloves and belt, putting them on as well.
"Alright, let's go Naruto." Gaara said getting out of the car, Naruto following suit.
"Okay...Gaara I know what we're doing but...why are we stopping by a Halloween store??" Naruto asked in his English accent.
"Silly, we're merely throwing the cops off by making them think that it's one of our loyal fans...plus the reason I'm going is because they already know most of your moves, and won't be expecting a wild card like me. And also we're getting plastic masks and Hollister's, to make them think it actually is one of our fans, or a silly juvenile prank for Halloween." Gaara said walking through the door.
"Hey, I called about Kyuubi and Shukaku masks and Hollister's..." Gaara said in his smooth fake American accent.
The clerk looked both Naruto and Gaara up and down once, noting that both of them are dressed for Halloween and don't appear to be carrying weapons.
"Cool, I was just about to give 'em to a buncha kids..." he said walking around the counter with both masks' and Hollister's' in hand.
"Here ya go kids...so who's who?" The clerk questioned.
"Oh I'm Kyuubi and the blondie is Shukaku" Gaara said taking the masks and Hollister's'.
"Well I've gotta say this...you two's outfits have to be the best I've seen tonight... You two look almost like the exact ones—" the clerk paused, "—where did the blondie go?"
"To take out the cameras..." Gaara replied darkly, reaching for his gun.
"What, why for?" the clerk said dumbly.
"For this..." Gaara said shooting the clerk in the chest.
"Any witnesses??" Gaara asked as he bent down to examine the now dead body.
"No...this place is empty..." Naruto said from across the store, noting how silent and empty it was.
"Good..." Gaara murmured to himself as he reached for his knife Hollister to slice up the clerk. A.S. told you I made Gaara crazy! And you didn't believe me! Well for those who did...good job! Hands the ones who believed Ramune, enjoy!
Gaara's lips twisted into a monstrous grin as he took off his sliver ring, which had a skull on it to match the belt he usually wore. The band of the ring was etched 'Shukaku'.
But before Gaara did anything to it he made sure to clean it off real good with his sliver cleaning cloth. He didn't want to get caught now would he?
After he finished cleaning he took the dead clerk's palm and put the ring dead center in it, making sure to get the dead clerk's fingerprints all over it.
"Alright Shu...got the cash."
"For what? I've already made my calling card...and I hope you were careful with opening the register—" Gaara paused as he saw a small box gently placed in Naruto's hands.
"S'all the cash this guy had Shu...don't go all psycho on me..." Naruto said holding the box closer to him, as a child would hold onto a stuffed animal; hoping it would defend them.
"Well hurry up I don't want to be here too long..."
Gaara looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes, "Almost done Kyuu..."
Gaara was putting his finishing touches on the dead corpse. "Alright let's roll..." Gaara said cocking his gun and getting up; but only before he placed his knife back into its Hollister.
"Alright Scarecrow put your cigarette out and take us to KD." Gaara said putting his Kyuubi mask on, Naruto following suit.
"Alright boys..." Kankuro said signaling the arrival to headquarters.
"Sweet!" Naruto said getting out of the car, punching the air.
"God took ya long enough. I was just about to leave... Temari phoned in, she's not getting offa work till ten...'cause of some stupid Halloween party their throwing" Shikamaru said, leaning against the door frame.
"Well that blows!" Naruto said, in a very disappointed tone.
"Yeh...Temari phoned me in too with the info. There's some fancy-pants office party Tsunade's throwing...some shit like that. So where's everybody else?" Gaara said shutting his door.
"Well...Akamaru is coming soon...he phoned in complaining about '"Blasted Dogs"' and hung up on me... He's getting killed by overworking with those damn mutts...although working with the enemy's nose is a lot better then not doing it. And Sai, well he said he'd meet up there with us...he said about '"not being welcomed back with open arms"' whatever that means... But oh Shu, your guns are here...the plastic gimmicks, look-a-likes but actually the real things." Shikamaru said pushing off on his shoulder to a standing position.
"Good." Gaara said
"Alright what's on the agenda for today?" Gaara asked Shikamaru.
"Well, let's head inside first mates, you know me..." Shikamaru said heading back inside; Naruto, Gaara, and Kankuro followed suit; as they all sat down around Shikamaru.
Shikamaru was wearing almost the exact same thing as Naruto and Gaara. Tight leather pants (well...semi-tight); a long black sleeved fish-net shirt with a black wife beater on top; and some old black combat boots. Shikamaru's belt was a little bit different, it had a 'don't do' emblem on it A.S. you know...the ones that say to not smoke inside the theaters or to talk on the phone His gun Hollister was green, and his mask on the table was pure black. Both of Shikamaru's ears were pierced he also had tons of necklaces and chains dangling from his neck.
"Alright gents, here's ya info on the good ole Holocaust museum...we got some big items on the table and list this time around, this aint no kids game—" Shikamaru paused, making sure he had everyone's attention.
"—well so it seems that Orochimaru; the one who's in charge of it all, has heard of us and has put some extra muscle...it's a good thing that its you going Shu, if it were lil Kyuu; he'd be a dead man. But lucks on our side, because gents, they weren't expecting a swap...and luckily it's Halloween too. They won't know what'll hit 'em." Shikamaru said mater of fact.
"Dammit! We're fucking screwed!" a voice yelled out, slamming the door; causing Naruto and Shikamaru to turn their heads to the speaker.
"What's wrong, Maru?" Naruto asked, shortening Kiba's nickname cutely.
"What's wrong?! WHAT'S WRONG! I'll tell you WHAT'S WRONG! They're sending a fucking spy! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" Kiba yelled, tossing his coat onto the couch.
The entire room's eyes were focused on Kiba's, all except for Gaara's.
"Well...before I was about to leave, I didn't want to stay for that retarded party they were throwing, and after all if that Uchiha fellow left then I assumed it would be okay if I had left. But anywho, I overheard the old hag and Neji discuss something, and what I heard was that '"the KD needs another man, quick on their feet, sly, cunning, and a fair fighter. I'd send Uchiha but he's on the case, more popular with the people, and let alone the KD. But they don't know you; you're smart; you work in silence. You'd be the perfect candidate for the job..."' Kiba yelled.
"You've got to be kiddin me!" Naruto and Shikamaru chimed in at the same time, astounded. One look at Kiba made all the hopes that he was kidding vanished into thin air.
It was Gaara that spoke up this time, "Don't worry. Temari phoned me in about that too. She overheard Tsunade talking with Neji. Neji didn't respond to her, but now I'm assuming he did. But don't worry; he'll be under my wing; so Kiba, Shikamaru and Temari will be safe. He'll have to meet you Naruto, but I trust that he doesn't know you...that well.... What I want to know is...how in the hell did they find out that we needed a new man...?" Gaara said as he ran his fingers through his blood red hair.
"I bet you anything it was that whore Tenten. The bitch dated Neji, so I bet you he has her wrapped around his little finger. So that's how he hears things. Sai must've let it slip to a druggie that we needed another man, and the druggie must have let it slip to Tenten. Doing anything for a fuck whores like her piss me off." Kiba barked as he tied his belt around his slender waist.
"Well let's go...Sai said he'll meet up with us, I bet you he's already there...and Mangekyou's different...comes and goes as he pleases." Gaara said getting up and strapping the orange plastic Hollister to his waist, sticking the plastic gimmick inside.
"Well come on then! Let's get this over with!" Kankuro said.
The group all piled in the car, Shikamaru in the front messing with his goggles. Kiba, Gaara, and Naruto in the back.
Kiba lightly dozing off, he barely gets any type of sleep with the stupid police dogs. Naruto examining the plastic raccoon mask. And Gaara—contemplating each and every one of his moves; always the next step ahead. While in the background 'Kids with guns' played softly.
Kits with guns, kids with guns.
Takin' over by what they don't.
They mesmerize skeletons.
Kids with guns.
Kids with guns.
Easy does it, easy does it.
"We're here chaps." Kankuro said bringing everyone out of their thoughts and dreams.
"Let's get down to business gents..." Gaara said laughing hysterically.
Anonymous Saru: Omigawsh... (cries tears of hysteria) I did it! I finished mah first chappie...15 pages of pain! (Well not really, it was 25 pages transferring it from paper... yay for notebooks XD)
Sasuke: that's coz you are le moron...who writes in le notebook...
Naruto: sorry...I kinda agree on him with that Kanae...
Anonymous Saru: ... fine... let's look at the two who aren't getting any type of action later on!!!
Iruka: but Kanae...shouldn't you have done your English and WHAP homework instead of writing this? I mean you have all the time in the world to write this but not all the time in the world to do your homework...and not to mention your MATH homework too!
Anonymous Saru: T-T le cry!!!
Sasuke: o.O; WTF! I love how you don't blow up at Iruka, yet you blow up on Naruto and me!!!
Anonymous Saru: oh silly Sasuke...the reason why I blew up at you was coz you brainwashed lil naru-chan into making me the bad person! That and you also have duck-ass hair...
Sasuke: ... LEMME AT HER!!!! JUST LEMME AT HER!
Naruto: nuuu! Sasuke-kun! Dun! (tries his best to restrain Sasuke but fails)
Sasuke: (hits Kanae with a 12 ft pole)
Anonymous Saru: x.X ish ded
Gaara: Oh good job jack-ass...you've just killed the only person who can actually make you get some kind of action.
Naruto: (le gasp) YOU JUST KILLED THE AUTHORESS!! ...wait...does any of us know how to end one of these things???
Iruka: I'll just take Kanae's dead body...see if Tsunade can bring her back... (walks off carrying Kanae's dead body)
Sasuke: well...damn...I didn't think this far into it...
Naruto: AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A COP! YOU TEH SUCK!!!
Gaara: (angry sigh) how is it that I'm the only one who knows how to end these "end-of-story-rants" huh? Review please...and I shall restrain myself from slaughtering these two...