Hello dear readers!

Welcome to my new story! I really have missed you guys, I hope some of you are still here? Anyway, its summer again and I wanted to start a new fan fiction. So here it is - The Ten Things Kurt Hummel Should Never He Done. The writing style is different to my previous story HeartBeats so let me know if you like it/hate it?

I have rated this story M for later smuttiness but warnings will be up with every chapter.

I am looking for a Beta reader if anyone is interested send me a message!

Anyway... I hope you enjoy it. Next chapter will be up soon!

Warnings - Mentions of masturbations, swearing and badboy!Blaine cause I will never get enough of sweet underneath badboy!Blaine

All my love, Rrr. x

Ten Things Kurt Hummel Should Never Have Done

It all started with a shirt.

Kurt is absolutely sure that none of this would have happened had he not been wearing that damn shirt. The shirt that was now lying limply across his floor, dirtied and torn all the way up the side, but we'll get to that later.

Perhaps when looking at the wider scale of things… the shirt was not entirely to blame. But when factored into the astounding amount of variables that lead to Kurt Hummel sitting in a police station with a busted lip, scuffed shoes and cheeks so red with embarrassment he swore they were glowing, everything manifests together to make the…

Ten things Kurt Hummel should never have done.

Number 1 - Lied To His Dad

Most teenage stories start themselves with a lie or stretch of the truth to their parents.

'I'm staying at my friends.'

'My friends dad will pick me up.'

'I'll be back by ten.'

'Sorry, my phone was out of battery.'

The thing is that Kurt never lied to his dad. He took it upon himself to always tell the truth. He was home by curfew. He never lied about whose house he was staying at. He did his homework and he never ever thought about Blaine Anderson, Dalton's resident bad boy and all round bad influence, late at night when the darkness of his room could cover his blush.

Okay. So that last one was a lie. But no one else needed to know that. Especially Blaine Anderson.

The first big lie happened on the 10th of December at approximately 6 pm.

'Kid I know this is big but… it's important to me okay?' Burt Hummel said, reaching out to lay one of his large burly hands on Kurt's slender shoulder.

Kurt didn't move. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

'You're moving to Chicago?' Kurt repeated, disbelief lacing his tone, his morning cup of tea long forgotten and left to cool upon the countertop because seriously… Chicago?

'Not for good!' Burt said quickly, looking down at his lap with a small amount of guilt, swallowing slightly. 'Just for 6 months, this is really important for me… and for us, I need the money Kurt… and I can't say no to this job opportunity right now.'

'I can't just leave dad! I have school… I'm in my last year I can't give it all up now!' Kurt said back, his voice increasing in its octaves as he became slightly more hysterical. He couldn't leave everyone. Leave Dalton. Leave Rachel. Mercedes. Hell he couldn't even leave Sebastian! Without Kurt's tutoring there was no way Sebastian would graduate the year. And what about the Warblers? He couldn't just leave the Warblers. And… Blaine. Kurt couldn't leave Blaine. Not that Blaine would care if he did. But… No, Kurt couldn't leave Blaine.

'You don't have to leave.' Burt said, sighing as he settled back into his chair. He would be lying if he said he hadn't hoped Kurt would jump to the opportunity of moving with him. But Kurt's life was here. Burt knew that. 'Mr. and Mrs. Anderson have offered for you to stay with them in their guest room… I mean you know how big their house is and…'

How Burt Hummel Knew The Andersons

The Andersons had been their neighbors for years. Ever since Kurt was little and Blaine was a small tuft of curly hair that ran about in the back yard singing the wrong lyrics to well known show tunes.

The Moustache Of The Knight – also known as The Music Of The Night from The Phantom Of The Opera – and Constipate Yourself – originally written as Consider Yourself from Oliver – were his all time favorites.

Kurt and Blaine would play happily together on the large trampoline at the end of the Anderson's garden or eat ice-lollies on the large white swing on the Anderson's porch. Burt would fix the Anderson's huge town car when it broke and strike up conversation about football with Mr. Anderson. They became good neighbors, friends even.

Then Kurt's mom died. Kurt remembers it well. Every heart breaking soul crushing chest aching second as his father sat his 8 year old self down and told him his mom would never be coming back from her trip to the grocery store. That another car had torn his mother away from him. Burt grew closer to the Anderson's. They were the only people brave enough to talk to Burt. The others didn't know what to say. What does one say to a man who has lost half of his whole world?

Kurt remembers watching his dad cry onto Mrs. Anderson's shoulder. Kurt remembers Mr. Anderson ushering him away, telling him to go wait with Blaine when all Kurt wanted to do was shout that he was old enough to handle it and that he wanted nothing but to cuddle with his dad. But he wasn't old enough to handle it. He knew that now.

Then the Andersons moved away. Taking Blaine with them. They only moved round the corner but Kurt felt like he finally had his dad back. They remained close; Burt even tried to help out when Blaine started to run off the rails. Gone was the cute curly haired little boy who liked ice cream and bouncing… and in his place was a muscled, pierced, dark messy haired man who liked breaking rules and smirking like he knew the biggest secret in the world.

Kurt was pretty sure he had realized he was 100% gay that first time he had seen Blaine take off his shirt.

The First Time Kurt Hummel Saw Blaine Anderson Take Off His Shirt And Knew He Was 100% Gay

It had been a hot summers day and Kurt was in his usual spot, sprawled in the front garden on his slim belly flicking through his beloved Harry Potter book with a glass of cool lemonade by his side when suddenly a shadow had cast over him.

'Hey Kurtie.' Blaine had said, his pink lips stretching into a wicked grin across his face, white teeth dazzling in the sunlight that glinted off the silver piercing in his tongue and across his eyebrow.

'Blaine!' Kurt had said, scrambling to get up off his belly, his glass of lemonade still in one hand. 'What's up?'

Blaine folded his arms over his chest and there it was. The famous Blaine Anderson smirk. His hazel eyes sparking like they knew something, those lips falling down a little in the corners, Kurt wasn't sure if he wanted to smack him or kiss him. Maybe both.

'Where's your dad?' Blaine asked, looking around the empty garden. Kurt had thought this was an odd question, why would Blaine want his dad? Kurt might even go as far as to admit to being the tiniest bit jealous. Why couldn't Blaine have come to see him and not his dad? Ridiculous Kurt knew but god damn it that smirk.

'He's working.' Kurt replied, unable to take his eyes off the line of Blaine's jaw where it tapered towards his one pierced ear, dark hair curling around it with a softness that juxtaposed his hard appearance. 'I can give him a message for you?'

Blaine laughed then, his arms unfolding as he took a step towards Kurt, chocolate eyes glued onto Kurt's face. Oh god. Did he have something on his face? He had only eaten toast that day… maybe toothpaste? Oh good god please let him not have toothpaste on his face.

'I didn't come to see your dad Kurt.' Blaine had said, his voice surprisingly even although Kurt suspected Blaine's heart wasn't pounding quite as hard as his was.

'Why are you here then?' Kurt asked, raising his lemonade to his lips and taking a large mouthful, hoping the action would conceal his blush. Was Blaine here to see him? Of course he was. Why the hell else would he be here? To admire the goddamn flowers? But why did Blaine want to see him? Oh god… he wasn't in trouble was he? Images of drug barons murdering them both flashed through Kurt's mind.

'Are you a virgin Kurt?'

Kurt spat his lemonade all over Blaine's front. And like really… all over his front. Kurt's lips hung open, shiny from the lemonade residue.

'Jesus Kurt! What the fuck?' Blaine exclaimed loudly, shaking out his large black tee. 'I'm soaked!'

Kurt could see that. Blaine's nipples were beginning to appear through the thin sodden fabric and…

Blaine took off his shirt.

Holy mother of God.

Kurt's legs suddenly felt a little wobbly.

'I'm gay.' Kurt had said. Out loud. To a shirtless Blaine. No 'I'm so sorry for spitting lemonade on you, let me get you a new shirt', no 'Oh my god I'm so embarrassed and I'm so sorry!' Nope. Kurt Hummel told a shirtless Blaine Anderson upon whom he had spat up half his lemonade that he was gay.

And you know what Blaine Anderson upon whom Kurt Hummel's lemonade had just been spat up on said?

'Me too.'

Back To 'The Lie.'

'I can stay at… the Andersons?' Kurt repeated to his father, unsure if he had heard him correctly. 'For six months….'

Burt nodded, his large fingers clasping before him. 'You know Blaine and the Andersons are more than happy to have you Kurt.'

Kurt opened his mouth and closed it again. Living with Blaine for six months? Living. With. Blaine. For. Six. Months. Living with Blaine for six months. Living with Blaine for six months. Living with Blaine for six months.

'I have to go to school.' Kurt said out loud, clearing his throat and hoping the bright pink hue on his cheeks wasn't too noticeable as he grabbed his bag off the chair. 'I'll talk to you about… this… when I get home okay?'

Burt nodded. He had known this would take some time for Kurt to figure out and that was okay. 'Okay kid, just… think about it, I know it's a lot but I promise this will be good for us.'

Blaine Anderson The Lying (And Admittedly Goddamn Attractive) Son Of A Bitch

The ride to school was one of great distraction. Kurt tried his best to pay attention to the lights and the stop signs and the peoples milling around on the sidewalks and crossing the roads to school but it was no use. Kurt almost hit a poodle, ran a dodgy red light and got yelled at by some jackass in a Mercedes driving behind him.

Kurt was glad when he finally pulled into the Dalton car park, straightening his tie in the mirror before sucking in a deep breath, shouldering his bag and stepping out of his car.

'Hey Kurtie.' Blaine's singsong voice rang out behind him and Kurt almost jumped out of his skin, he really wished Blaine would stop doing that. Kurt swears he never ever hears him coming. Not even when they were little. Blaine would just pop up out of nowhere and scare little Kurt shitless every time. For a good few years of his life Kurt had been convinced Blaine was a vampire and that had… certainly lead to a few interesting fantasies of Blaine's fangs sinking into his throat as…

'Blaine! You have got to stop doing that!' Kurt snapped, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. Blaine was dressed as usual, his Dalton blazer hanging off his muscled shoulders, his shirt undone at the first three buttons and tie around his neck in a way that made it look more like a collar than an actual tie.

Blaine ignored him. 'Did you talk to your dad this morning?'

Kurt nodded, his fingers still gripping onto his bag. 'Yeah… Guess it looks like I'm moving in… Are your parents really okay with that?'

Blaine laughed and smirked. Fuck that smirk. Kurt loved that smirk. No he hated that smirk. Hated it. It always lead to bad things. Always.

'Oh my parents have no idea, both of them are away, they left a week ago.'

'What?' Kurt asked, his lips hanging open in shock once again. What on earth was Blaine talking about? His parents were away?

Blaine pulled a packet of cigarettes from the back of his uniform slacks and popped one between his lips, lighting it with his lighter and dragging in the first puff of smoke. 'My moms aunt died or something so they have gone to stay with her uncle who is like crazy or something and god knows when they will come back so I have the place to myself.'

'Then… Why did they offer for me to stay? My dad said he talked to them?' Kurt had never been more confused in his life. Sometimes he swore Blaine spoke solely in riddles.

'They didn't.' Another drag on that cigarette. 'I did, I do an excellent impression of my dad apparently.'

'So… You impersonated your dad and told my dad I could stay with you guys?'

Another drag. 'Yup.' Blaine blew the smoke out in a puff of grey to the side. 'Think about it Kurt… we'll be totally alone… No parents… Parties when we want… No rules… This Christmas break is going to be awesome.'

'Why do you want me to stay with you? Couldn't you have parties on your own?' Kurt squeaked, starting to think that perhaps he was dreaming and wondering if that would in fact be a bad thing. Perhaps he would wake up in his bed and everything would be normal again because right now Kurt felt like his head was going to explode.

'I get lonely.' Blaine shrugged, holding the cigarette by his side. 'Plus… you can cook and I cant cook for shit, come on Kurtie it will be fun… Jesus, live a little?'

The bell rang; shattering the millions of questions that were on his tongue like what in the name of sanity was Blaine thinking? Kurt just stood there, feeling like a mouse that just got invited to stay with a tiger for the week.

'Well there's the bell and I wouldn't want to be the one who made Kurt Hummel late… Plus Sebastian is looking for you.' Blaine said, turning on his heel and stubbing out his cigarette before giving Kurt one last smirk over his shoulder. 'It's time to grow up Hummel, burst the bubble, become a man… Did I mention we have a hot tub?'

The Lie That Happened On The 10th Of December At Approximately 6 pm

'So did you talk to Blaine today?' Burt asked, popping another forkful of pasta into his mouth as he looked up at his son.

'Yes.' Kurt replied. He could do this. Pop the bubble like Blaine said. One little lie. Okay so it wasn't a little lie as such but for all the model student and son that Kurt was the opportunity of living alone with Blaine and a hot tub was seriously clouding his judgment. It would be fine. He could do this. Kurt Hummel could totally handle this.

'And?' Burt prompted, taking another mouthful of food.

The clock struck 6.

'Mr. and Mrs. Anderson can't wait to have me.'

It was only as Kurt lay in bed that night, his eyes as wide and awake as the rest of his body, staring up at the blue of his ceiling and wondering what his room at Blaine's house would look like that it really hit him. And boy did it hit him hard.

Kurt Hummel really was moving in with Blaine Anderson.

And a hot tub.

Did he mention the hot tub?