Sorry, I Thought You were a Girl

Note: This first chapter has been edited twice over. This story is discontinued/abandoned.

(Just for the sake of the fanfic, Deidara has two arms.) Disclaimer: Neither Mike nor Sam own Naruto or Ouran.

A familiar blonde ninja woke up on the ground, after being sucked up into Kakashi's new sharingan technique. Deidara groggily lifted his head with a groan, shutting his eyes until he was sure the world wasn't about to topple over on him. When he dared to open his eyes, the first thing he saw was a horrible sight to behold.

A pink building.

This atrocious architectural menace appeared to be a palace. High towers rose among smaller castle-like structures, and young cherry trees sprung up in the many gardens. Fountains, with pedophilic imagery, dotted the land. Walls of hedges, finely pruned and trimmed to perfection, outlined a decorative labyrinth.

In front of the palace was a golden sign proclaiming, "Welcome to Ouran Academy".

"Why, I am compelled to ask, is such a fair maiden wearing such horrid dress?"

The explosive Akatsuki member turned to see a blond figure kneeling beside him, one hand to his heart, the other holding a red rose in offering. Deidara refrained from recoiling, his jaw dropping.

"A beautiful princess like you should be clothed in silk of the highest standards." The boy swept his golden locks from his purple eyes, and stared up at Deidara, an adoring fog to his expression.

"Uhh..." Deidara backed away, shock leaving him speechless.

The love-struck boy skipped over to the 'girl' and with hardly a word, swept 'her' into his arms, "Why leave, my lovely maiden? I have not had the pleasure of hearing your name, which must be as gorgeous as you are. Your prince is no other than Tamaki, my love."

"Uhh..." Still stunned into silence, but he finally managed to answer, "Deidara. I'm a-"

"-lovely princess. You have such an exquisite name! Is it Italian? Or maybe Persian? French?"

Deidara tried futility to end this ridiculous conversation, "I'm-"

Tamaki refused this dream an ending. "-the most striking lady I have ever seen in my entire life! I must be in heaven, for all the girls I have seen do not compare-"

"I'M A-"

"-to you in my entire existence!"

"I'M A GUY!"

Tamaki's face fell, but then rose again, realizing the truth. "I see. You must not want anyone in your life," and then stumbling a bit on his words, "anyone in the world to realize your exquisite beauty!"

At that moment, Deidara realized he had to do something: drastic times called for drastic measures.

The 'prince of romance' was suddenly holding something harder, and smaller, than his love. As the smoke cleared, it was revealed to be a log. Tamaki was not fazed in the least.

He sighed, a smile upon his handsome features, "Such a clever princess. Switching herself with a nearby log when I was only paying attention to her beauty! I must have her!"

The next day, Deidara had enrolled himself into what was apparently, a school. A rather prestigious school for the rich. He was glad he had taken some of Kakuzu's money a couple days prior to his mission to the sand.

Unfortunately, much to his grumbling, the only open space in the school's register was for a female student. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he thought he looked rather pretty in his new yellow dress.

Deidara tied his hair in a high ponytail with a yellow tie, and took out some makeup he had bought the other day. He put a little bit of blush on his cheeks, and a small bit of mascara on his eyelashes. He pulled on some frilly gloves to hide his hand-mouths.

He twirled around a few times in front of the mirror, and blew a few kisses to his reflection. A grin, a wink, then a giggle.

The feminine Akatsuki then proceeded to scream.

Deidara walked - no, make that run - through the many courtyards, trying to avoid being seen by any boys. He didn't want to be seen at all in this getup, but apparently, the boys were his main problem.

It was not just Tamaki he had to watch for, but allof the boys. Deidara recently figured out he must have looked beautiful, for the boys of this school just would not stop throwing themselves at him. Indeed, he was vain, coming straight to that conclusion instead of anything else.

So far, he had gotten 29 boys asking for a date, five asking for his number, and 194 marriage proposals. It inflated his ego, at the very least.

Warning: This is now from Hikaru's perspective. Beware of morbid male thoughts.

"Class, we have a new student at Ouran. So let's all give her a warm welcome!"

The new student walked in, her yellow dress perfectly accenting her curves. She was nervous, her steps careful and eyes darting everywhere, yet her smile lit up the entire room. She carried the scent of smoke and chemicals. However, that made her seem all the more beautiful. Somehow. Her lightly tanned skin glowed in the dim classroom, and her rosy lips just beckoned anyone to kiss her.

"So, what's your name?"

"Deidara," she replied, her voice as musical and sweet as a harp.

"Why don't you take a seat next to Hikaru. Hikaru, raise your hand so Deidara knows where her seat is."

Deidara walked to the seat, her dress sweeping behind her. As she sat next to me, I could not help but blush. Her cerulean eyes passed right over me, and a warm feeling spread throughout my body.

As the teacher began talking, I could not help but let my gaze stray to Deidara. She was so beautiful, her hair was a light golden, and looked as soft as cotton-

No!' I told myself, willing myself to be loyal to the club first and foremost. 'I must not fall for a girl! What would happen to the host club? What about Kaoru? What about Haruhi?'

I shook my head to clear myself of these thoughts.

"Hikaru?"

It was the teacher. So caught up in my thoughts, the teacher's question flew over my head.

The new girl stared at me. A shiver ran down my spine. As if she was staring right into the depths of my soul.

I threw in a smile anyway, "What was the question again?"

Back to the third person POV we all know and love.

Itachi was staring at the wall, perfecting his genjutsu when something happened.

A small little black kitten wandered into his vision. The Uchiha stared at it for hours on end, but still, it would not go away. It only cocked its head to the side.

A chill ran down his spine as it did something. It spoke. Its cold voice would forever be imprinted into his soul.

"Hello. I am whom you may call Sam. This is my accomplice, Mike," A tall black wolf appeared at that moment, fading into the room.

Their icy red eyes stared deep into his own eyes, and he knew something very bad was about to happen.

The cat smiled (if that was possible), "Do not worry. We only wish to move along with the plot bunny. Or in my case, plot kitty."

"This will only hurt a great deal if we miss," the wolf said solemnly, then perked up, "of course, that would mean we get an early dinner. We are what you could call chim-"

The cat silenced him with a flick of her white-tipped tail, "Shush, we must not dispense too much information. He is but a mere thread of plotline. Besides, I do not want you hogging my spotlight. It is my story, after all."

"Our story," Mike argued, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever." Sam replied, indifferent.

Itachi watched this whole intro with a growing sense of dread. Something was terribly wrong. A cat and wolf arguing- who would have thought?

Sam turned to the almost forgotten Uchiha, "anyway, we are going to transport you to another dimension, yadda yadda yadda. You will join the host club. Just a bit of warning, though: Do not resist."

The wolf repeated, "Do not resist. We will carry on with the procedure. I recommend you curl up in fetal position," he grimaced, "it is not pleasant otherwise."

All faded into darkness for Itachi, leaving the echo of demonic laughter in the background.