Disclaimer: don't own code geass. :D
A/N: A writing exercise gone awry in a good way though. No dialogue. Just description and thoughts. 13 scenes in a progression :D.
Speechless
Summary: And there they were with nothing left to say, nothing left to do but to tell their story throughout time in those silences where we learn far more about ourselves than we do with a thousand words. Kalulu, clean, 13 drabbles without dialogue.
1-Need
Lelouch slammed his fist on the table, the hard metal on metal sound crashing around his brain and temporarily halting thought. The latch on the door finally clicked; the ludicrously basic locks the only true security in the old building.
His Gurren pilots were falling faster than he could replace them, the primitive machinery they had was so easily crushed by advanced Britannian weapons. There was nothing he could do.
Unless he had an ace of course. That was what he needed. In chess, in cards, you needed your one move. You needed to have that single triumphant act that would not only destroy your opponents but also sweep away their smoldering ashes and deposit them in an air tight container at the bottom of the ocean. He needed someone to be his right hand, and the blade it held too.
But he didn't have one of those.
Well, then. He'd just have to make one.
2- Never
Did he know the first time he saw her?
Know what? That she was a brilliant pilot. No. That she was driven and intelligent? No. How could he have?
Of course, he couldn't.
Later, when he knew all this, he would wonder how he missed it the first time. It was there after all. In the way she held herself; always more suited to flight that standing. He should've seen the light in her eyes, cold, brilliant and serene. She was always perfect that way.
But of course he didn't. He couldn't . He always knew that. Even if he was never able to tell you why.
3- Spectacular
The first time he watched her fly, finding his ace was at the back of his mind. Lelouch, or Zero at the moment, had been conducting analysis on his remaining pilots by himself, looking for a candidate.
He had found nothing. Which made sense. His best pilot, he now knew, wasn't even on the records he was examining. She was a recent addition to the Gurren force, a newbie.
And she was the best flyer he had ever seen. She was spectacular.
It was beautiful. She was beautiful.
4- Legend
His captains were shocked to say the least. She was new. She was green. And she was going to outrank them all.
They could have recommended him somebody else, surely there was someone better. But they hadn't known Zero was shopping for aces. Now it was too late. Kallen Kozuki was going to rise to Zero's side.
He would train her. Refine her. Control her. And she would gain power. She would have influence over him.
Even if he hadn't realized it yet, they knew. Soon, he would be wrapped around her little finger.
And Kallen, she would be a legend.
5- Dark
Kallen didn't know what to say. She simply stared at the man in the mask. His beautiful face she had never seen, yet it was the one she respected most. He was asking her to be his pilot, like the Britannian Knights of the Round; she would have great power and influence.
She would get to fly Gurrens as much as she wanted. She would be at the front of the resistance like never before.
It was an honor.
It was a privilege.
And so she signed what could be her death warrant, giving her life to the brilliant man whom she couldn't see. Giving her life to a shadow, hoping that it might let her melt into it and become not only a black knight, but also a host of darkness.
Much like Zero himself. Simply untouchable.
6- Desire
He worked her hard. Driving her day and night to be better. When she was not in school she was in training. She needed to anticipate his next move, to see a battle field the way Zero saw a battle field.
He never let her skip, or go out. He needed her to be her best. When she simply couldn't go on, they would stop and play chess. He taught her to suppress her desires, her wants and her needs.
She never complained.
He would never admit it but really he just wanted her close. He didn't like the way some of his men looked at her.
He didn't like the way she looked at some of his men.
7- Remember
He liked her hair. He suspected she didn't and it incessantly bothered him.
The color was so much more interesting than his black hair. Ordinary. Kallen was not ordinary. Zero's Q-1 couldn't have been. He had asked her once, if she liked it being red, and she had only answered that her hair wasn't red.
There was a time she came to report to him after a mission that involved hand to hand combat. She had been wounded, which was unusual. Lelouch only remembered this day because her hair was tipped with blood, hers or not he didn't know. He remembered the way it looked when she turned to leave, the red blood clashing with the pinkish color of her hair.
Then he understood.
But he still liked her hair. Even if it was pink and not red as she might have longed for.
8- Want
She had saved his life so many times it had almost become boring.
There was no surprise left in it for them, no thrill.
She was perfect. Always flew well. Always won the important battles. Always reported back in a timely manner.
He wanted something more. He wanted something exciting. He wanted to feel around her again.
That was when it hit him for the first time quite how much he simply wanted her.
9- Shattered
Zero was Lelouch. Lelouch was Zero.
It struck her how alike they really were. Stadtfeld was Kozuki. Kozuki was Stadtfeld.
When Kallen had started at Lelouch, his helmet off, shattered on the ground, she had a look in her eyes that said it all. Lelouch, Zero, had stared at her evenly, his heart racing. She had stared at him, construing her face to belay shock and anger. Really she had known somewhere deep down that this was the truth for a long time.
She was shocked.
But not stupefied.
Finally seeing his face was a release. And with it something else snapped into place. An allegiance not only to Japan and to Zero, but to Lelouch as well.
She would follow him out of her shattered illusions and into the new Japan they were destined to build together.
10- Denial
She knew how she felt too. Even if she denied it.
He tried to kiss her. She slapped him. She denied dreaming about it for weeks after.
She denied plotting Shirley's death over and over again.
She denied keeping tabs on him; just to be sure he was safe.
She denied everything to do with Lelouch like she had denied she was half Britannian.
Everyone else had known it before she told them. Everyone else had accepted it.
Yet, Kallen still denied them the pleasure of knowing they were right.
11-Home
He had told her not to say anything. To let him try something.
She hadn't wanted to say anything. God did she want him to try something. Anything.
He had taken off his helmet letting is sit on a coffee table.
He moved towards her, cupping her face with his gloved hands.
When contact was made, it felt natural. Not strange or new, but like they had done this a thousand times. It felt like the wisdom of the universe had simply given them the knowledge before hand, to make it easier. To make it sweeter.
It was not just a kiss.
It was a realization
A moment, an hour, a lifetime.
A homecoming.
12- Pretend
Everyone pretended they didn't know.
But they knew.
It was hard to miss that Zero and his Q-1 were sleeping together. They knew that they shouldn't have known. And they knew they couldn't let it slip.
There were only so many ways that this war was going to end and any way you looked at it, this relationship wasn't going to go very far.
If they brought it from the shadowy recesses of Zero's personal life to the harsh scrutiny of day light it would surely crumble under the truth. And who were they to deny their leaders one simple, carnal pleasure? In the end it wasn't a secret. Kallen and Zero were no fools.
They knew. And the others chose to leave them be.
Leave them to pretend people didn't know.
13- Nameless
Zero would never die. You cannot kill a shadow. You cannot kill what you cannot know. And no one knew Zero.
Lelouch didn't die, but rather vanished. He never really existed as Lelouch Vi Britannia, always working for something he shouldn't have been. Always too busy denying his family to ever be part of it. So there was no death. In the end, there was no one to die.
Kallen was the one who died. Kallen, defeated, with the only things she ever cared about destroyed, had nowhere to go. Nothing to do. She became a half Eleven, half Britannian student. Just a girl working her way through school. Trying to get through life. She kept her Black Knights uniform, but never wore it. She smiled but never meant it.
Her wish had in a way been fulfilled. She had wanted to become like Zero, like Lelouch, something barely there; more easily known as a vapor than a woman. When the man she loved perished, her spirit left with his, creating a shell that had outlived its usefulness.
She faded to a shadow without a name, the girl who might have been Kozuki and might have been Stadtfeld. And this shadow joined another. One of a boy who might have been Zero and who might have been a Prince named Lelouch. But that no longer mattered. Now they were nameless specters, ideas and emotions wandering the earth forever together and loitering in the dark spaces beside buildings, in the quiet times we think we are alone and in the corners of our minds where we hide those secrets that we do not feel we can tell. They help us to hide them and help to make them known to us. They become a message and a sign on the path of life. They become legends, lovers, fighters and strangers. They become everything and nothing.
No longer do they need words. They communicate tacitly.
They become the silences that say more than any words do.
They become what is said when two people are simply speechless.
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-V