"Did I leave the Gates of Hell open?" Deadpool asked as he flung into the action fighting the demons that were irritating him.
"I'm so lucky I found this Demon blade that can kill them, I can't believe Sam and Dean trusted me with it even though I did tempt Dean with some pie and Sam with his nerd equipment. They are nice and sexy bitches Wincest or not I SHIP IT!"
Meanwhile as D-Pool was fighting as Sam and Dean were in a pickle. He says comically "OOH now its D-pool well I suppose someone wants it: right Roman (and Cas)" and he mouths the word Dick "OH no was that a reference that caused you to roll over laughing, my bad"
However, Sam and Dean Winchester are back at their motel rooms watching HBO, against their will, and in a tiny mess that Deadpool had obviously created. By mess I mean that Sam and Dean were untying themselves from a chair and getting changed.
"Sammy we don't talk about this ever again. I don't know what that spider man look alike was doing but I think he's a fan of chucks books" Dean looked at Sam who was nodding in awkwardness. "Don't tell anyone especially Crowley because he'd have a field day."
D-pools fists were flying all over the place and his legs were wrapped all around these black eyed demons. However brutal this fight was Deady found it kinky and easy as usual. But still he fought to save…. himself.
"OOH I'm glad that is over I wouldn't want to go to hell although how bad could it be, no humans, no one to make fun of my extreme avocado looks and no Francis" he giggles
"Hey bitch I told you my name is fucking AJAX" Francis yelled from his chair beside the crew members
*sigh* "Ajax relax honey it's only a Deadifer fanfic. I bet they all twerk down there in hell, or listen to cheesy pop hits from the 1990's. Nope I can't consider it, can I?" Deadpool turns "No I cannot possibly leave you! You'll miss my fabulous sarcasm and witty banter moments with Captain America and his flawless butt and "friend" in Bucky, I ship that too. Now let's get it on I wonder what Falcon and Bucky's ship name would be….."
Deadpool silently walks away singing 'We can't stop' by his female singer crush Miley Cyrus
Through the earth down in hell, in the cage where the baddest man alive dwells stood... Lucifer. "I'm back baby." The sky was all blue and birds chirped in the distance. Cotton candy men came round and kept their distance from Lucifer after the incidents with tapeworms in the food.
"What a lovely day today in this burning fire ball pit." He slowly turned to his weeping angel Michael who was sat crying his heart out in the corner "Oh brother… Michael why do you cry, don't you find me amusing. I'm a joy to be around. Is it because I keep singing? I thought I was X-factor material I mean I'm sure Simon would agree we are alike in both ego, dignity and pride"
"GOD! I'M AN ARCHANGEL GET ME OUT OF HERRREEEEEEEEEE" Michael sobbed
"Oh my Satan, Michael we're in hell together we should be talking and making up for lost time. Why don't we have a bit of music?"
"No no Lucy please no music and please don't let it be 'Heaven must be missing an angel' I'm begging you don't sing or dance I mean the song choice is barbaric and the tune is horrible after 5000 times of hearing it"
"Spoilt sport" Lucifer sighed and rolled his eyes "No wonders Dad left you in here with me and the other one, the other Winchester who Dean decided to choose his beloved "Sammy" over"
Lucifer whistled the song instead of singing and made Michael scream with tears, which he didn't care about so much he just laughed like he does best.
Back on Earth above
"Sammy I think that red suit man is a demon of some sort"
"Why so sure Dean why can't he just be a normal batman wannabe or a really weird pagan god"
"Well he can't be a batman wannabe"
"Why not he could be from a comic con convention you never know"
"Batman is cool that weirdo is a douchebag, plus weren't you at a comic con 2 years ago?"
"No I didn't go to a comic con Dean." He said extremely awkwardly "And so he tied us up and killed some demons for us, we do that every day right?"
"Yes I guess he is doing us a favour but he is still a douche. I thought we weren't going to mention the incident that happened"
"Sorry but does he get paid for being an avenger type person?"
"I don't know how I should know if we don't get paid I guess he doesn't either, let's just get back to the case"
Sammy thinks out loud "How did the Hell gates just open without help from the King of hell. Shall we ring Crowley and tell him to shut it"
"No we'll leave the gate open and let the demons kill everything! Of course we ring Crowley"
Sam dials Crowley's number "Hello Crowley"
A British accent came from the other side "Moose, how's it going darling?"
"Listen shut the hell gates or we will come and make you don't forget we're not the… losechesters" he smirks
Dean looks up at Sam "Oh my God I can't believe you just said that"
"Look Moose the gates are shut, I should know because I'm currently trying to figure out why there is a red man standing in front of me demanding me to twerk like Beyoncé"
"He's there" Sam tells Dean "Hey Dean the red suit man is with Crowley; I told you he was a demon"
"Give me the phone" Dean takes the phone "Crowley put that red ass on the phone"
"Ok, here you go"
"This is Wade I heard you wanted my ass"
"Shut up, who are you and why are you here?"
"Dean is it? I'm Wade also known as the amazing Deadpool"
"Deadpool? The only thing amazing about you is the fact that you're clearly deluded" Dean turns to Sam "Look up Deadpool"
"Yes Deadpool, I am a pain bringer although if a metal motherfucker comes and says I'm part of the X-Men then kill him because I am no x-man"
"Oh sure no you're just a person in a red suit who has a death wish"
"No I'm Dead pool it's my super anti-hero name" Wade sighs "You know Dean you're lucky that you have your looks"
"What are you doing in hell anyway?" Dean asks
"I don't know really I just wanted to have a nose around"
"Fair enough but don't go too far there are dangers about"
"I know right a British person and this constipated angel"
"Wait Cas is there? Put Crowley back on the phone"
"No can do gotta go bye bitchez"
Deadpool hangs up the phone and continues on his venture through hell. He walks for ages until he reached a point where you can summon a soul from the pit.
"Oh cool I'm gonna see if that Alexander Pierce is here he hurt my precious OTP Stucky that mother fucker"
This woman walked in she had a glow about her, red hair, red lips and this long purple dress with a black cape on top. Something about her seemed scary but Wade wasn't frightened off easily
"Hello fine lady how are we today"
A Scottish accent came from the woman "Why hello wee laddie, I'm grand why wouldn't I be. My son is the king of hell and I get to manipulate him no matter what"
"Oh it speaks, wait why does every villain have to be British? Ajax, Deckard and Owen Shaw from Fast and Furious, Ian Mckellen who I know was a great Gandalf but he is Magneto, ooh 4th wall break yay!"
"I am not a villain. My son is a little shit but that's not the point…. What are you doing here?"
"I am here to summon the darkest thing alive in this place"
"Oh right well that I can help you with, he's bad, funny, and sexy and has a really big…. sword"
"Oh well I like- wait who is it?"
"Have to wait and see now won't we" Rowena smiled and started to conjure up a spell to summon a mighty evil man.
Rowena rapped "I like big butts and I cannot lie You other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung, Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin You say you wanna get in my Benz? Well, use me, use me 'Cause you ain't that average groupie I've seen them dancing' To hell with romancing' She's sweat, wet, Got it going' like a turbo 'Vette so, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!) Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)"
Her Scottish dancing came into play as Wade stood awkwardly in wait of her to stop
Wade started to join in after a while "Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)Shake that healthy butt! Baby got back!"
A Humming sound came from the chamber and they both stopped singing and stood in wait. Suddenly a voice came from the cage
"Hello, Baby got back"
"Lucifer"
Wade turned around to see a white light forming in the shape of a 'fallen' angel. His eyes lit up as the song 'love me like you do' came on and they gazed at each other for 10 minutes just staring at their beauty. Wade walked over to Lucy In the cage and said "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven"
Lucifer just stared back and said "No, but it looks like you took the full impact of my fall for me"
They smiled and together ran off together back to Michael into the darkness to have an intimate family four some with Adam of course he's not left out from the cage torture just from his family tree.
Cas turns to them all from the outside of the cage "Better get washed for that orgy"
"Will do Castiel, will do" Lucifer hugged Deady and kissed him on the forehead
Deadpool replied with "I SHIP IT DEADIFER" He swirled around "Oh and thanks to FantasticFuriousCars40 for realising that…. Well that she ships us and found the ship Deadifer"
Lucifer commented "YES thank you for finding me someone who appreciates good music and my ass, Deadpool you're my little bitch now"
"I'm Satan's bitch? Does hell get any better?"
They all gather round Destiel, Crowley/Sam, Michael/Adam and Rowena the ultimate third wheel "Bye Fanfic makers we love you all for your hard work and dedication"
Two years later
Lucifer asks Wade to marry him. Michael does the reception, Adam, Sam and Dean were the bridesmaids. Crowley was the flower girl
Rowena found love in her life she bought a pet hamster, Crowley however is the hamster's real love…. Wade ships it all
Destiel decide to finally say "I love you" oh who are we kidding it'll never be canon. Or will it
Sam admits he loves Gabriel
Crowley admits he is the best king ever
And they all lived happily ever after….. well until another case pops up and the Winchesters have to save people, the family business stills carry's on with the wayward sons
The End
…still a better love story than twilight