Chapter 1 – The first reaping after our victory
I wake up in my bedroom in the victors' village on the day of the reaping. I am already feeling the nerves burning underneath my skin. It is the first time Peeta and I are mentors. Even if my name is not in the big bowl anymore, I still have my family and friends who are still in the games. I have been a troublemaker and a problem to the capital, and the best revenge would clearly be to choose someone dear to me or Peeta. I cannot volunteer for my sister once again. I can't take their place. They are doomed to a life in fear, just as I am. My fear is just different now. The eyes of the capital are watching me and I know they are not happy. Haymitch made that very clear last year. I will suffer either way. No one deserves to be in these games. It will be hurtful to see any of them walking up that stage, no matter if I knew them or not. For once I can understand how Haymitch became the man he is today. His fear and the pain he goes through every year. The sun is shining outside my window, just like every day. But this day is everything but ordinary. I already have flashbacks from last year. I see Prim's terrified face and how Gale had to carry her away. I see the tears in my mother's eyes. And today two new families will suffer like ours did last year. But worse, because there is no way our tributes will survive this year. We did something you can't do last year and the capital will punish the whole district for what I have done.
I walk down the stairs in my dressing gown, my hair is a total mess. I yawn widely as I enter the kitchen. Then I realize we have company for breakfast. Peeta is there. I see new French rolls and cheese buns at the table that he must have brought with him. "Good morning Katniss," he says and smiles at me. "Hi Peeta" I answer tiredly as I sit down in the chair next to him. Since Peeta is all alone in his house he sometimes joins us for breakfast or dinner. He often eats lunch in the bakery with his family. I am so tired and therefore I do not say much. I do not say much at an ordinary day either, but today I am too nervous to have a conversation at all. Peeta respects my silence and talks to Prim and my mother instead. He knows I am nervous about the reaping. He is too. All we have thought about the last month have been about what kid from school we must train and then watch die a week later. No one mentions what day it is. Instead, they talk about the planned wedding. I am nervous about that too. What if they realize it was just an act? What if hey already know? I do not listen very carefully until my sister asks me about the wedding gown. "When are they choosing your dress, Katniss?" she wonders. "Um, I do not know. I think they will announce which dress I will wear during the games. Cinna has not told me much about it." I say and smile at her. I can't understand it has been a whole year. Only a year. Prim has grown so much. She is almost as tall as me now. Before she was so tiny you wouldn't believe she was twelve. Now she is thirteen. It was only a year ago Peeta and I went to the capital for the first time. Then I did not know about the feelings the blond baker's boy had for me. The feelings he still stores inside him. The feelings I have rejected ever since behind the cameras. My coldness towards him has not stopped him from slipping out comments that will make me feel like a fraud. Like the most coldhearted person walking this earth. "She will look gorgeous in whatever they dress her in," Peeta says. I know he means what he says, but I also know he says it to annoy me. A few months ago we decided to try to be just friends behind the cameras. Even though he is hurt deep down it is easier for both of us to live and act like a couple when the cameras arrive. Since I know him so much better now I now dare to reply to his comment with his own medicine. A few months ago I wouldn't have. "When the audience sees you in that suit Cinna and Portia picked out for you, you will dazzle them all. Me included, you know" He grins and cheekily kisses my cheek. When he does that, Haymitch conveniently enters from the hallway. "Already warming up for the cameras at the square, my lovebirds?" He laughs and takes a sip from his bottle. He is not as drunk as he usually is, but he is already a little unsteady. "Shut up Haymitch." I sigh and throw a french roll at him. "And take a bath?" he jokes. "I already took a bath and this time without you giving me a cold or pneumonia". Peeta laughs at the memory from the morning of the first day of the Victory tour. Haymitch sits down with us. He butters bun I threw at him as we hear a knock on the door. "Wonder who is here a day like this?" I say and walks to open the door. Behind the door I find Gale. "Hi, Katniss. Do you have some time for a walk? I would like to talk to you before you disappear with your fiancé." He says bitterly as he pronounces the last word. He is still jealous of Peeta, even if I have told him a dozen times there is nothing more than friendship between us. "Sure. If you don't want to join for breakfast?" I say. "No, I ate with my family before coming here." He replies when he sees my company sitting in the kitchen. When I realize I am still in my sleepwear I tell him to come in. I tell Peeta and the others I am going for a walk with Gale and walk up the stairs to my room to change into a shirt and some jeans. When I walk down to the kitchen again I give Peeta a hug before I go, since I won't see him until the reaping. He kisses my cheek once again. I wonder if he did that as a sign to Gale. Peeta knows Gale kissed me once and it makes him protective even though I am not his girlfriend. He knows that snow knows and that it almost had us all killed. He tells me to be careful and mentions that he will see his parents one last time before we go to the capital. "See you later, Sweetheart" Haymitch says as I close the front door of my house.
"Why does Haymitch call you Sweetheart Katniss?" Gale asks in irritation. "Don't tell me you are jealous of Haymitch too, Gale." I joke. "He uses that nickname to annoy Peeta as much as it irritates me." We walk down the street, and I realize we are going to my old house in the Seam. "What did you want to tell me, Gale?" I wonder when we walk by several of my old neighbors. "I just wanted to spend some time with my cousin before she goes to the Capital with the baker's boy. I will miss you, Catnip." He says sadly. At this point, we are at my old house, the official home of my mother and sister. If I would die they would have to move back to this place. I know Peeta would invite them to live with him if that happened. But I have talked to them about an upgrade of the house, not because I want them to leave me alone in the big house in Victory's village. I would like if they could have some sort of emergency room for patients since it is a long way to go if anyone would need desperate help in the Seam. I do not want my old home to be left empty, and if it could save lives I would love to help the people of district 12. After all, I have done I owe them. I can't repay them for anything, really. Prim and my mother said they liked the idea, but that my ideas must wait until I come home from the games this year. I cannot understand I am going back to the capital today. That I am one of the new mentors in this horrific game. I do not want to know who I am going to help in the coming week. The people in the seam look at me and Gale in fear as we walk by. They know I might be mentoring their children in the coming games. And I can't blame them for looking at me when I walk through the poorest part of the district. For them, I am a symbol of death, just as much as the Reaper is. I do not belong among them anymore, but I do not belong among the crazy capital people either.
When I come home I find Cinna in the sofa by the hearth in the living room. Peeta is gone, and so is Haymitch. Cinna and I hug and then we start to work. Octavia and Venia are waiting for me upstairs. My team knows me by now, my nails are not very nice after a few months without them. They do not need to put on full makeup, but they will make my nails and naturally make up on my face. When they are ready Cinna dress me in a white shirt, black pants and then dark brown leather boots. It almost feels like I am going to the woods, not to the capital. He braids my hair into a single braid like I use to wear it. He puts the golden Mockingjay-pin at my shirt. His final touch. "Are you ready for showtime?" he asks. I nod. After they have dressed me and made me pretty for the cameras I walk to the bakery to meet up with Peeta. He wears a sky-blue shirt, light brown pants and dark boots like my own. I remember what a disaster he was in the woods in the games. His wounded leg made it impossible to get by unnoticed. I smile a little at the memory since I am afraid of remembering the rest of the horrible things that happened. We walk hand in hand to the Building of Justice where we meet Effie to prepare for the ceremony. This time her wig is pink just like her dress. Her expression on her face tells us she is very happy to see us again. I am happy to see her as well, but I am not as excited about the games as she is. No one from the district is excited about this. "The schedule is tight, so you all must do as I say. Okay?" she twitters as we watch Haymitch walk up on stage. "I know this is not a pleasant job, but you will be fine." She says to me and Peeta, and then she runs away on her high heels. I realize the difference. Last year she would never say something like that. It is almost a little rebellious.
The ceremony begins and Effie twitters as she does every year, but not with the same energy as she uses to have on stage. The crowd is quiet as always. That has not changed. I watch the crowd of children from the chair where I sit next to Peeta and the mayor. My people waiting for their death penalty. I am waiting for my punishment for not dying as I was supposed to do. I find my sister standing with the other her age, and I soon find Rory, who turned 12 this year. I hope they will leave the square safe and not on their way to the capital. But I do not want anyone else to suffer either, but I am a little egoistic and pray for my family and my friends to not be picked. Prim only have two slips this year and Gale had to promise Rory did not take any extra slips. If they need something they only must ask about it, even if Gale is too proud to receive help from me and rarely asks about anything. I told Hazelle the same thing to be entirely sure. Only tree slips amongst thousands. But I know what I thought last year. Prim only had one slip and Effie still picked her. The odds tell me she and Rory are safe, but you never know. "As always, ladies first," Effie says and walks to the bowl and picks a random slip. "The female tribute of district 12 the 74th annual Hunger Games is Molly Smith". I see a grey-eyed and dark-haired eighteen-year-old walk up on stage. "Now for the boys," Effie says after asking about any volunteers. Only the wind wanted to take the girl's place. Effie reads the name on the slip. "The male tribute of district 12, the 74th annual Hunger Games is Jake Ferry." I breathe out when I realize my family is safe. But the sorrow hits me hard when the new tributes are shaking hands. I let a tear escape down my cheek. I remember last year like it was yesterday. Peeta looks at me with compassion. But I also see a stone lifting from his shoulders, none of his friends were picked. I watch the boy, who is Rory's age. He is blond and blue-eyed, just like Peeta. Molly's hair is dark like mine. I see that both tributes are very thin and pale. They know the feeling of starvation. I see it in their eyes. I have been there myself and I know what it is like. I know what all of this is like, but I can do nothing to help them. I can't save them. I can't even save myself.