Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or his cute little furry ears. Or his cute little furry friends O.O That honor is reserved for Rumiko Takahashi. Please don't sue
Playing Pretend
One Shot
by bittersweet memory
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When I was younger, I loved playing pretend.
Sure, I had lots of stuffed animals and story books just like any other little girl out there but there was something infinitely more appealing about becoming someone else. I could be a fairy tale princess waiting for her Prince Charming or a secret spy going on one of her many missions.
But somewhere along the line, I grew up. The story books turned into textbooks and the stuffed animals turned into cell phones. I didn't have time for pretend anymore. So I went to school, had my share of crushes and failed math. Average teenage life.
Then I met him.
Purely by coincidence I'm sure. My cat fell down the ancient well at our family shrine and after I rescued him, a blue light came out and I was pulled by many hands into the well. I came out and instantly realized that I wasn't "home" anymore. My "Prince Charming" was literally "hanging around" waiting for someone to rescuehim. Not exactly how I envisioned meeting the man of my dreams. But that's how it happened. We didn't exactly get along. He threatened to kill me and called me "Kikyo", something that seemed to bother me even back then and I was forced to rely on ancient magic to subdue him. Not exactly a match made in heaven. But I digress.
The village priestess told me the story of the jewel and briefly about the boy's connection to it. I was told that her sister, Kikyo, was the one in charge of protecting the jewel but that this…boy tried to steal it for his own purposes. Hence, Kikyo was forced to seal him to a tree where I found him and subsequently set him free fifty years later. And I am her reincarnation. Whoop de doo.
We were charged with the awesome responsibility of finding and restoring the Shikon no Tama to its former glory. No thanks to me. I'm sure if he were here right now, he'd be the first to tell you that it was my fault to begin with. And I can't disagree. Accident or not, I did break it and I'm not the kind of girl that shirks from her responsibilities.
So we traveled and met friends and enemies alike. Princess need of rescuing here, homicidal sibling there. As I look back now, the only thing I can say is "At least it wasn't boring."
We added more members to our traveling party, the first being an orphaned fox kit whom we had rescued from two self-serving evil demon brothers. The fact that they had a couple of shards of the jewel didn't hurt either.
After having a shard-hunting escapade in my own time period (which I never want to repeat again thank you), I learned a bit more about Inuyasha (my own PC). He was half demon half human. More commonly referred to as a hanyou. The priestess Kikyo that I had been told so much about was his first love and I looked eerily like her. How do I know? Simple.
I met her.
I was kidnapped in some crackpot ogress' attempt to resurrect the "tragic priestess". Why me? Well, the crackpot had her bones and had even made a new body. What she needed was a soul. My soul to be exact. So there I was, hoping that my "prince" would come and rescue me. And he did. Sort of. He got me free. But through some sort of mystic reaction, when Inuyasha said her name, Kikyo got a piece of my soul. That was when I found out the truth. They were in love. Something happened between them and Inuyasha betrayed Kikyo (and Kikyo betrayed Inuyasha), hence the sealing-against-the-tree "incident" for fifty years.
Talk about an unhappy reunion. Kikyo and Inuyasha started to fight (well Kikyo tried to fight, Inuyasha just stood there and dodged). And in the end, Kikyo fell over a cliff. We though that was the end of it.
We continued on our way, a bit more somber than before. And I think that this might have been when…
No, scratch that. I couldn't pinpoint the exact time then and I won't waste my time trying now.
I started developing…feelings. I mean, I'd found Inuyasha handsome before. But his personality needed a thorough renovation. But now…I really couldn't say. Something changed and I started to fall for him.
We added more new companions. A wandering monk with "questionable morals" named Miroku, who had a tendency to let his eyes (not to mention his hands) wander. So then we were four.
Later on, we found out the truth behind what had happened to Kikyo and Inuyasha. In reality, neither of them had betrayed the other. The one behind it all had been playing them like puppets, watching from a safe distance. His name was Naraku. He used to be called Onigumo and was under the care of Kikyo after being severely burned in a fire. His evil soul and base desires had given thousands of demons a place of lodging. He disguised himself as Inuyasha that fateful day and attacked Kikyo who in turn took her revenge out on the real Inuyasha whom she believed to be responsible for the carnage in the village.
Surprise surprise.
Speaking of Kikyo, she was alive. She didn't die when she fell off that cliff. She was living in a village as its priestess.
But once again, I digress.
After meeting Sango (who was hell-bent on revenge over the slaughter that had destroyed her whole village, courtesy of Naraku thankyouverymuch), we had our first real taste of the bastard that is Naraku.
That did not go well.
Anyway…
After that battle, we wandered along, having added two more members to our motley crew. Run-ins with Sesshoumaru (the homicidal sibling), Kikyo (the "tragic" priestess) and my newest admirer Kouga (much to Inuyasha's ire) became almost habitual. All the while, those pesky "feelings" just got stronger and stronger…
Then, it happened. The fact that Inuyasha and Kikyo loved each other in the past was a reminder in my head. Almost warning me, that if I continued going this way, I'd be in for major hurt later on. Did I listen?
Of course…not.
Do I regret it?
Never.
I went home one night, intending to stock up on my rapidly-depleting medical supplies. We had another argument earlier that day. Over Kouga. Gah! Didn't he understand that I didn't like Kouga that way…
Before I fell asleep, I found myself thinking that he wouldn't care even if I did.
I woke up and saw that it was eight o clock. Inuyasha was going to kill me! I grabbed my huge yellow bag and proceeded to jump through time.
I saw a dark sky and a faint glow above the forest. Being the naturally inquisitive person I was, I decided to investigate.
I stop at a scene that seems to have been taken out of those romance novels my friends back "home" always go on about.
Inuyasha's standing there. Holding Kikyo. Telling her that he'd protect her from Naraku. Telling her words I'd started to dream he'd direct at me.
Stupid huh?
Little, insignificant me in a time I didn't even belong in, waiting for the love from someone (who by all logical reasons wasn't supposed to exist) who was still hung up over his dead ex-girlfriend.
The masochistic side of me must have been in control that night because I couldn't move. I just stood there watching as Inuyasha promised his life to her while she walked away.
To this day, I don't know what attracted his attention to my hiding place near the trees but something did. Maybe I made a sound or maybe he smelled me. Whatever it was, he saw me. And for a long time we just stood there, staring at each other. A thousand and one questions raced through my mind.
Does he know?
Did he mean it?
And most importantly…
What do I do now?
Whatever I decided, I had to do it away from him. So I backed up and ran. And he didn't come after me.
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And that's what hurt the most.
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When I was younger, I loved playing pretend.
In those brief moments, I could be everything I wanted to be. A secret spy, a damsel in distress or maybe a fairy queen.
Today will be just like those days.
Only instead of pretending to be someone different, I'll just have to pretend that it didn't hurt me.
I have to pretend that those words didn't break me and that my heart is still in one piece. I have to pretend that it didn't matter what he did and whom he did it with because I really had no say.
I just have to pretend that I don't love him.
After all, I've always been good at playing pretend.
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Reviews are appreciated!