What is this tomfoolery! meganerd had the idea for this story, and I've written the majority of it so far. Hope you enjoy the first chapter! Hetalia belongs to not us.
"And that is how the awesome-ification of our meeting building should go!" Prussia finished, flicking off the PowerPoint presentation.
"Prussia... remind me how posting up pictures of you, France, and Spain wearing little to no clothing all around our meeting building going to increase productivity?" Austria's brain was relatively dead. It was going to take a lot of therapy to remove the PowerPoint's images from his brain.
"It won't increase productivity," Prussia huffed, as if Austria's was the stupidest question he'd ever heard in his life (although yesterday when he'd been half asleep and hungover he'd had to ask Germany where his socks were, when in fact they had been hanging off his ears), "It'll increase AWESOME-IVITY."
"Like, why are you even, like, here Prussia? You're, like, not even like a nation anymore." Poland mused after Prussia and Austria had stared each other down. Prussia sent him a look that hardly rivaled Russia's cutest homicidal grins and Poland laughed it off.
"I am a country! On the inside!" Prussia stumbled over his words to find a suitable retort before finishing, "I'm still more awesome than you! Y-you useless cross-dresser!"
"You're the useless one!" yelled Lithuania in protection of his boyfriend. Russia and America began staring at Lithuania in awe. He'd never really stood up for himself before, much less someone else.
"Become one with me, new sparkly tough Lithuania!" Russia swooned.
While the majority of Europe was yelling at and or coming onto each other, France began pestering England. England, as usual, overreacted and yelled much more than was strictly necessary.
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!" yelled Germany after a few minutes of the insanity that was, by now, expected at every world meeting (especially the ones Prussia attended). Everyone turned to look at Germany, meaning nobody saw as North Italy pranced into the meeting room, nearly an hour late, wearing something which suspiciously resembled many of the articles in Hungary's massive dress closet.
"Hey everyone! Sorry I'm so late, ve! I had to get more pasta! Ve~."
"Italy... Your cross-dressing issues are getting out of hand. You're starting to get worse than Poland." said Austria quietly as Italy settled down into his seat. Italy turned to Germany with a confused look on his face.
"What's cross-dressing, Germany?" the blond nation looked at the dress-flaunting Italian man and facepalmed.
"Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much," Prussia began, and Poland clapped a manicured hand over the albino nation's mouth.
"That's like, the wrong talk, stupid!" Poland looked to Italy now, speaking as seriously as possible when on the subject of cross-dressing, and said, "It's a life choice, Feli dear. If you like, want to wear women's clothing, then you don't let anyone stop you, like, do it, girl!"
"Yay!" North Italy totally agreed with whatever it was Poland had just said one-hundred percent, even if he wasn't quite sure what it meant, but damn if it hadn't sounded peppy.
Suddenly America screamed like a little girl.
"Holy shit! I have a clone!" he yelled, and Canada sighed.
"I'm Canada. Can. Na. Da. Your brother?"
Half of the meeting room took this opportunity to ask, "Who?"
Canada nearly fell over.
"No, clone, don't die on me now, you're a scientific miracle! But wait, what if the clones have an uprising? Should I save you, or let you die? I must think of what's best for the human race!"
"...Right," England said pointedly, and began conversing with Freddie Sparkles Trottinghoof Rainbowston III the unicorn (Freddie for short). America continued to fret over his brother, who was at this point catatonic in his seat, and a few of the nations previously attending the meeting had slipped out during the rabble.
"Is it just me, America, but you seem to be acting... Stranger than usual. Do you maybe need something to eat?" Austria asked, and America froze.
"What are you talking about!" he said, turning to face Austria with an enormous (rather creepy) grin on his face, "I'm eating just fine! Haha, I just had my bi-daily block of cheese! Hahahaha~!" Austria frowned.
"Right, so you're eating one block of cheese... Every other day." America nodded vigorously. "That isn't healthy at all, America." America just kept grinning at him. Austria shivered.
"Say, Austria, do you know where my car went? I parked it outside this morning, but from when I went outside during break it seems to have disappeared." America said suddenly. Poland writhed around in his seat, fanning himself.
"Like, America, it's probably not parked where you thought you parked it, right? Maybe you, like, just forgot! Maybe it's parked, like, right around the corner next to the cute little bakery with the blue sign in the window! And, uh, maybe it's been hotwired since it - didn't - move!"
"Thanks, Poland! I have been pretty absent-minded ever since I went on this diet, so you're probably right!" America said cheerfully, before passing out from malnutrition. Poland visibly relaxed.
Korea took this opportunity to grope America, because diets that made people pass out originated in him. Yeah.
Greece, as it happened, was asleep, because Greece could sleep through anything.
Finland giggled, because Christmas was coming up. He couldn't wait to be Santa Claus again this year. This made Switzerland aim his gun at him, because Finland's giggle sounded perverse. The only reason Finland didn't get a bullet in the side for sounding like a creeper was because Liechtenstein, who was excited to get a Christmas present because she'd been a good little girl all year long, pulled down Switzerland's gun arm before he could pull the trigger. Finland was lucky.
"You're all stupid bastards, mio dio." S. Italy yelled before standing up angrily and leaving, and Spain followed him.
Every country still actually attempting to participate actual 'getting stuff done' part of the meeting sighed, because they really weren't getting stuff done, and most of them stopped trying to get stuff done and just started talking among themselves.
Austria stood up angrily, being one of the few who really fucking wanted to get stuff done. The room suddenly went quiet - angry Austrians were almost as frightening as angry Germans, and ten times more deadly.
"All. Of you. Have serious issues. And need to go to therapy." he whispered, and stormed elegantly out of the room. Only aristocratic Austrians have the ability to storm elegantly.
The remaining countries started talking among themselves again, not really expecting Austria to actually send them to therapy, because that would be ridiculous.
I totally got lazy towards the end of this chapter, sorry. Nothing to be done about it now! Remember to review! I mean. Seriously!
mio dio - Italian - my God