/Just a short story for amusement as I await my muse to return from her vacation. Disclaimer: There's no need for a disclaimer. I own nothing./
"Did you see his butt? It was so firm looking. Chloe like. Think he'd let me bite it a little?", Chloe asked no one in particular.
"Yes, Detective, every female in here saw his gluteous maximus. What makes something you sit on so special? Who is he anyway?"
"No idea. I've never seen him, at least from the back, before. I'd remember that ass. Let's go find out."
She caught up to the man and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to her her libido turned on. He looked just like Johnny Depp. Chloe almost drooled on the man's shoes. He was so hot.
"Hi, I'm Chloe, Detective Decker."
"I'm Rod Long. I'll be your new CSI."
"Rod Long? Is that really your name? Did you do porn as you worked your way through college?"
"Lucifer, don't be rude", she said smacking his arm, "Another CSI? Well, welcome to the team."
"Well, I actually I'll be filling in for someone named Ella Lopez. She is off on sabbatical. Said God called her to go, so the county gave her time off for religious reasons."
"I highly doubt he called her. He's too busy plotting against me."
"Lucifer, now is not the time to let the new guy see your Luciferness."
Rod smirked at them, "Is this your boyfriend?"
"Oh, gosh no. He's just a civilian consultant. That's all."
"Just a consultant? Detective, without me, you wouldn't solve one case. Excuse us, Rod. We have work to do", he said dragging Chloe away from the man.
Rod shook his head and walked into the lab. He thought Lucifer was her man, guess he was wrong. Prick, making fun of his name when he was named Lucifer. Were his parents devil worshipers?
"Detective, you were acting like a school girl with that man. What has come over you?"
"Lucifer, he looked like Johnny Depp. So hot!", she said biting her lip.
"I don't know, I thought he looked more like Johnny Knoxville. You know, the jackass."
"You're so rude, I think you really are Satan, sometimes. I swear."
Lucifer rolled his eyes, "That's what I've been telling you this whole time."
"Lucifer you say a lot of things. You never stop talking. I bet you even run your mouth when you're in bed with..whoever."
"I'll take that bet. I'd be more than glad to show you I can use my mouth for other things than talking,"he said with an eyebrow wiggle.
She smacked him with the file in her hand, "Seriously, you'd say anything to get in my pants."
"Maybe if I changed my name to 'Rod', you wouldn't resist so much."
Chloe walked away, going into the lab with Rod. She had to see if those blood samples turned up anything. And seeing Rod's nice butt wouldn't be so bad either. Lucifer followed her in, not at all pleased.
"So, did you find anything, Rod?"
"Not yet, but I did notice something odd in this soil sample. This insect here, comes from Arizona and it's not naturally found in California at all. Take a look at it. It's an Apache Cicada."
He moved away from the microscope, making room for Chloe. As she bent over and looked into it, he gave her ass a once over and gave Lucifer a thumbs up. Lucifer's eyes flared red at the man, but he didn't seem to notice. Lucifer was going to have to make this guy disappear.
"So, detective, what do you for fun when you're off work?"
"Well, I'm a single mother, so there's really no time for fun. What do you do?"
"I'm a Cosplayer. I do Captain Jack Sparrow and Pirates role play on the weekend with my friends."
"J-j-jack Sparrow… how sexy..I mean cool. That's cool."
Chloe had a secret obsession with the good captain and knowing this look-alike also did dress-up did something to Chloe. She had butterflies in her belly and her face felt hot. Lucifer looked at her knowingly. The detective was turned on.
"Well, thank-you, Rod, but we must be going. Got a murder to solve and all that. Have a pleasant day."
"Hey, Chloe. You maybe wanna come see me do my R.P. this weekend?', Rod asked, flashing her a 100 watt smile.
"I'd like that, thanks."
"You, you can't I have a surprise for you this weekend", Lucifer said, covering quickly. He was not letting her go anywhere with that tool.
"Raincheck, then. Until we meet again, Detective,"Rod said kissing her hand.
Chloe made an undecipherable noise and let Lucifer lead her from the lab. He was livid and was experiencing an emotion he never felt before. The green-eyed monster named jealously.
"I forbid you from speaking to him anymore."
"You can't forbid me from doing anything, Lucifer."
"I just did."
"You're unbelievable. How many women have you flaunted in front of me, blew me off for? You don't get to tell me what to do. If I want to go watch his cosplay, I will."
"Okay, nerd. Be bored. I tried to save you", he said, deflecting her accusation.
Monday came too quickly for Chloe. She had spent two amazing days with Rod. When she showed up at the precinct that morning, she found Lucifer waiting for her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and sniffed her all over.
"Funny, you don't smell like sex. And you don't have a happy, "I got laid" smile either."
"I didn't have sex, pig. Even if I did, I don't see how it's your business."
"We're partners. Everything you do is my business."
"Look, I have to check in with Rod and see if he's got any new information this morning. He said he was coming in early to work on it since I distracted him."
"I'm sure. We'll let's get this over with."
"Lucifer, what is your problem?"
"I don't like that guy. I don't trust him."
"He met Trixie Sunday. She didn't like him, either. He's so kind and sweet. I don't see what you guys dislike so much."
"Jeffery Dahmer and Ted Bundy were quite 'sweet', too, Chloe."
"He's not a serial killer, Lucifer, my god."
"And there you go, invoking his name."
"Lucifer, I haven't had coffee yet, can you wait twenty minutes or so before you get weird?"
"You have 19 minutes and thirty seconds, do what you need to do, detective."
Music was playing as the entered the lab and they found Rod singing along. Dan was waiting in the doorway with a stack of files in his arms, "Where's Ella, all the lab work is backed up and this... this Douche is dancing to Beyonce."
Lucifer threw back his head and laughed, it was a rare moment for him to agree with Dan. Dan would always be the douche but it was funny to hear him call that particular name to anyone else.