Warning: Character death, shounen-ai
Summary: Sometimes, certain unexpected circumstances can make promises null and void and that's the reason why you don't make promises you aren't sure you can't keep. Feliciano made a promise he knew he couldn't keep anyway.
"Feliciano you idiot! Get down!" Ludwig yelled as he yanked the brown-haired Italian down just as a bullet whizzed by.
The war between countries had started. Of course it would start. War was inevitable and it wasn't a question of whether the world would wage war against each other again. It's a question of when the world will fight amongst itself.
"Uwah Ludwig! This is scary!" Feliciano cried, already clutching a miniature white flag in his fist.
The blonde gave a stern look and pulled the flag out of his hands.
"Feliciano we're at war! We can't afford to surrender so many times especially since there's so much at stake! Try being brave for once!" Ludwig called over the racket of battle. The typical sounds of battle: whistling bombs, bangs of gunshots, the boom of grenades, and of course, the agonized screams of the dying.
The Italian shrank further into the dirt behind one of the trees and whimpered, sniffling. "But Ludwig…"
The German glanced down at his, once more, ally. He moved to speak but quickly stopped and jumped away from the tree, grabbing Feliciano, just as it blew up. He ran, ducked down, to a safer distance and once again, hid behind another tree.
Pausing a brief moment to check the surroundings, Ludwig turned to Feliciano again. His eyes reflected panic, dismal, confusion, and fright. Ludwig knew the other wouldn't last and he knew that Feliciano wouldn't want to fight: he was just so innocent and too fragile.
"Listen to me Feliciano," Ludwig began again softly. "This war is going to end soon. Just like any other war. It's a bit bloodier but this has to end sometime. Just try to bear with it until the end."
Feliciano still didn't seem eased and gazed at the ground in distress, seemingly trying to block the war out of his mind as if pretending it doesn't exist means it isn't reality.
Ludwig tilted Feliciano's head so that he would face him as he spoke.
"Feliciano, pretending the war doesn't exist doesn't mean it will vanish. The truth is, the war is going on and the people you know and love are divided amongst themselves," Ludwig stated sternly. When Feliciano choked a cry, the German felt regret stir inside him and he wrapped his arms around the other, trying to soothe him.
"Everything will turn out fine Feliciano. It's impossible for a war of this scale to continue on before people realize it's gone too far. Just be brave until then."
When Feliciano started sobbing into Ludwig's uniform, he ran his gloved fingers through the Italian's brown hair. He missed how soft it felt under his bare hand.
Heaving a sigh from his heavy heart he said, "If you don't want to participate, you could just stay here until this battle is over okay? You don't have to fight if you don't want to."
This doesn't seem to placate Feliciano at all because he hugged Ludwig even tighter.
"N-no!" he protested.
"Feliciano, I can't just stay here. Since you're out of commission, I have to make it up. I have to fight or else the two of us, not to mention our allies, are doomed," Ludwig tried to reason, frowning.
"I know but what if you don't come back? What if you disappeared like… like…" Feliciano's voice wavered as his crying began anew.
Ludwig squeezed him in a tighter embrace in what he hoped to be assurance. "I won't disappear Feliciano… I can't disappear especially since I have you to return to. I can promise you if you want."
Feliciano paused in consideration to Ludwig's offer.
Unlike Holy Roman Empire's departure, Ludwig was promising to come back and he had never lied before. But promises were just words and could easily be broken. Feliciano may be naïve but he knew that whether Ludwig liked it or not, unexpected things could happen.
"Feliciano just trust me."
The Italian hesitated then slowly nodded. After all, how can he deny Ludwig his trust?
"Okay… Just this once. After this, promise that you won't leave again."
Ludwig doubted that was likely because unfortunate circumstances may even pit them against one another but he wanted to make Feliciano feel better. The one person that had shown him how to live a life.
"Alright. I promise I'll come back Feliciano." Ludwig decided to walk around the second promise he couldn't keep. Someday in the future, they might have to be separated again. But if he promised Feliciano he would come back, he'll be fighting, not only for himself, but also for the one he loved.
Feliciano nodded but didn't relent in his grip until Ludwig nudged him.
"I'll be back later," he said as he stood up and with a last look, started to walk away but was tackled from behind.
Stumbling forward a few steps, he turned around to face Feliciano, a frown on his face. Before he could reprimand, however, the other pressed a kiss on his lips, making it last as long as it can.
"Be safe okay?" Feliciano said, his voice wavering and threatening to break just as his eyes threatened to shed rain once again.
Ludwig nodded deftly, already dreading the thought of being away from Feliciano, unsure whether he would be safe or not but at least he was further from the fight. He hoped this war would end quickly if not for the sake of the Italian's mentality.
The German cupped his face and pressed a kiss on Feliciano's forehead.
"Get somewhere safe," he ordered and when Feliciano nodded, he slid his hands back to his side, his fingers lingering on the Italian's cheek as it did so. Without looking back, he ran back into the battlefield, a gun already in hand.
Feliciano could only watch helplessly as Ludwig disappeared among the trees towards the faint, but still loud, sounds of bloodshed.
He stood there for a few moments longer before sinking to the ground and hugging his knees, despairing about the fate of Ludwig.
He was such a coward.
He just let Ludwig walk out alone into that battle and he, himself, didn't walk with him by his side.
But he didn't want to face off with the people he knew. He refused to think that they would aim to kill him at any opportunity they could. How did things turn out like this?
Guilt pricked the edges of his eyes.
But what if Ludwig dies because he wasn't there? He is so selfish. He cowered so much at the thought of blood, death, and going against former friends that he obediently handed Ludwig's life to them.
Did Ludwig really mean so little?
Standing up and ignoring the trembling of his body, Feliciano licked his lips and started to move towards the battle.
He still felt frightened and he just wanted to run far, far away but he can't. Ludwig protected him so many times and now, it was finally his turn to do something for him.
Feliciano's heartbeat picked up as he got closer and closer, able to hear the screams clearer, deafening booms louder, and smell the stench of death thick in the air better.
He flinched but refused to give in to his instincts to flee. If Ludwig didn't do that, he won't do that either.
Hiding behind a tree, he peeked around the wood, hoping to spot a flash of blond hair and blue eyes somewhere.
The forest the battle is taking place is horrifically executed for miles around and still more trees were being felled. People were yelling and screaming while aircrafts overhead dueled for dominance of the sky.
Feliciano took out his own unused gun with shaking hands and prepared himself to go out.
A sharp, loud crack alerted him of a bullet embedding itself in the trunk of his tree and Feliciano uttered a strangled, startled cry. He didn't want to do this! He wanted to be back home, eating pasta and playing with that stray cat that Ludwig wouldn't let him keep. He didn't want to take lives.
Feliciano squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself not to cry again and made a deal with himself.
If he didn't go out and fight, he won't see Ludwig ever again after the war.
With that resolve in mind, he took one last deep breath and charged into the midst of the fray.
The next few hours of fighting were a blur. Perhaps it was better that way because Feliciano would rather not see all the people he killed, the blood, and all the close calls.
Now he was making his way through the trees again, bruised and scratched but not worse for wear. He was, however, dirty and spattered with blood, his mind felt fuzzy, and he felt sick. He didn't find Ludwig though, much to his disappointment.
Feliciano refused to think Ludwig was anything but alive so he continued onward.
"Ludwig?" he tried calling.
He paused to catch his breath, gasping for air. He was so tired after all the running and adrenaline. He just wanted to lie down and sleep.
"Feliciano!"
The Italian's head snapped towards the concerned call and beamed when he found Ludwig at a distance.
Feliciano felt such a surge of joy he uttered a loud cry of happiness. His attention was temporarily diverted when he caught a brief glimpse of bright light but then ran at full speed to Ludwig.
"Ludwig!" Feliciano cried and tackle-hugged him, burying his face in the German's uniform.
"Feliciano!" Ludwig grunted as the Italian dove at him. "What happened to you?"
"I went to look for you so I… went to fight too," came the muffled answer.
Ludwig wrapped his arms around Feliciano. "Oh god you went to look for me? That was so foolish of you! You could have gotten killed!"
"Are you… upset with me?" Feliciano looked up at Ludwig uncertainly.
The German gave a shaky sigh and said, "No Feliciano I'm not… just… surprised. Next time, don't go after me."
"So you're not upset… T-that's g-good."
Ludwig noticed Feliciano's hitched breathing and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a little tired from the fighting is all," the Italian responded softly. "You don't have to worry."
"I guess so. You were very brave though, for going after me."
Ludwig said he was brave! He allowed himself a cheerful laugh. The German's deep chuckle in response made Feliciano feel even more elated and he hugged him even tighter, grinning happily.
"I love you Ludwig. Do you love me?"
The taller of the two responded with a kiss on the top of Feliciano's head.
"Of course I do. I love you too Feliciano," Ludwig muttered fondly.
Feliciano could feel tears in his eyes at his confession. It was not always that he could hear him say I love you.
After a few more moments, they broke apart and Ludwig released Feliciano from his embrace.
"We better get going. The others would be waiting for us," he said, turning left and facing the forest.
"O-of course. You co-could go on. I have somet-thing t-to do."
Ludwig frowned in befuddlement at him. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked in concern. "The sooner we get out, the faster you could rest. I'll have to treat your wounds."
Feliciano only smiled and pushed Ludwig ahead a few feet then stopped.
"I'm okay. It's just that I want to pay tribute to everyone who died. It won't take long. I promise."
Ludwig scrutinized Feliciano carefully but the Italian only continued to give a reassuring grin. After a few seconds he gave a nod and said, "Very well. But if you're not back in fifteen minutes, I'm coming to look for you."
"Okay, okay. You worry too much Ludwig," Feliciano said with a laugh and waved as the blonde made an exit, glancing behind a few times.
When Ludwig finally disappeared once again, deeper into the forest, Feliciano allowed himself to fall backwards into the grass. His breathing was shaky and he closed his eyes against the pain that racked him.
He's going to die soon.
That bullet that was aimed at Ludwig had probably ruptured his stomach or something but luckily, the German was safe. Feliciano thought Ludwig would never leave and thanked every deity out there that his acting hadn't wavered too much. He was always a terrible liar. If he had known that he had been shot, he would have become very worried and reprimanded him.
But Feliciano knew that no matter how fast Ludwig rushed him into the hospital or how great the doctors were, he would die regardless. He could just feel it, his life seeping into the dirt for the grass to drink. He just didn't want Ludwig to suffer through the pain of false hope.
He broke his promise to Ludwig though and he felt somewhat disappointed. Ludwig kept his promise and returned but he broke his own promise that he would be fine. But he felt it was better this way although he felt sad that Ludwig wasn't there beside him.
"Did you see Ludwig? I'm brave for once," Feliciano whispered to the rustling trees overhead, opening his eyes.
He could see a patch of blue sky, and if he imagined hard enough, he could almost feel himself lying in the grass with Holy Roman Empire during his childhood days. But oh he was so tired now and he ached so much. He's going to nap for a little while. Holy Roman Empire will wake him when it's time to go.
"I love you..." he whispered one last time, smiling, "Ludwig..."
A/N: Yes it's not a humor fic this time. Inspired by a doujin I read whose name I can't quite remember.