Sooo, that kiss killed me and wanted to try and show how Bucky felt too. This is way too small but I hope you like it! A huge thank you to my beta ForeverShippingJohnlock and my beautiful friend MyLovelyMarauder for always supporting me and encouraging me!

Disclaimer: Guys….I don't-…- I don't freaking own them, okay?!

Now! Off with the story! (I'm still not over the psychological trauma this movie caused)

He watches as Steve connects his lips with Sharon's. As he curls his hand around her neck and closes his eyes. He watches as his best friend kisses someone that isn't him. He wishes he could say that he doesn't remember this feeling that tugs at his heart, that stabs his soul.

He wishes he could say that it's not the first thing he remembered. He wishes the ache had been forgotten. But wishing never did anything but break him even more.

He watches and he keeps his face impassive. The way he has learned to do after so many years with Hydra. His expression is blank and doesn't reveal anything. Not to Sam, not to anyone else.

When Steve breaks the kiss and looks back at them, Bucky forces a smile on his lips and prays that it looks believable. His eyes aren't shielded, however, and his is afraid that Steve will see through him, like he always does. That doesn't happen though and he doesn't expect the hurt that comes with the realization. Or maybe he does. He's gotten good at fooling himself after all.

Steve starts the car with a small smile adorning his perfectly pink lips and Bucky wants to hate him for making him feel this way. For breaking him in ways that only Steve ever could.

But he doesn't. No matter how much he wants to or how much his heart begs for a break because this is Steve: his best friend, the sickly kid from Brooklyn, the guy that never backed down from a fight. Because he is the man Bucky fell in love with time and time again.

The fake smile slips off his face and neither men notice he looks down at his hands, at both metal and flesh. He wishes he could say that it's because he's different that Steve doesn't love him. That it's because of all the years that passed that Steve doesn't see him as anything more than a friend. He wishes, but he knows the truth.

Steve never felt anything more towards him. And even though he knew Bucky better than anyone, he never found out. Maybe it's better this way. This is what Bucky tells himself. That way he won't have to explain and apologize for something that can't be explained and that he isn't sorry for.

It doesn't make his heart hurt any less. Or keep his mind from screaming with unsaid confessions and accompanied by so, so many tears.

He remains silent while his heart is ready to burst out of his chest, to go where it belongs. He stays silent and nobody dares to disturb him.

Burying his head into his hands, he heaves a barely audible sigh that he doubts anyone could have heard.

Steve does though, and because his head is lowered, Bucky misses the look of pain that crosses Steve's eyes as he steals a glance at is best friend. Steve didn't miss the fake smile, or the emptiness of his eyes. Bucky doesn't look up and the Captain feels a pang in his chest.

Nobody ever asks if Steve's smiles are fake anymore.

Soo, that's it! I hope you liked it! Reviews are always welcomed and I love them!

Byeeee

46captain46