Author- ME!

Anime- Yugioh GX

A.N.- I decided to make a story of all the feelings and emotions the GX boys are feeling after their whole ordeal with the Dark World and the Darkness taking over the school. I'm only making the chapters about the characters I like. Menaing don't flame me saying that I missed someone. I know I did; I just choose not to write about them. So don't be stupid and flame me about not writing about Misawa or something xD!!

Italics- Judai's POV
Bold- Johan talking

Chapter 1- Keep the Promise?

Judai's POV

Why am I such an idiot? Why do I have to act like this? Why did I have to make a choice like this? I've done so many mistakes but now…I've made the biggest mistake of all. The worst mistake anyone could have done.

Judai Yuki looked up at the sky; the cool breeze blowing through his chocolate colored strands of hair. His eyes were filled with anguish; filled with the feeling of betrayal. He knows what he has done. The worst part is now he has to deal with it without totally feeling worst about himself. The last year at Duel Academia was supposed to be filled with happiness and having fun with you friends; making promises that might not be kept at the end but serve as a comfort. Having high school sweethearts; going through that relationship for the last time that year. Sneaking quick sweet kisses with each other; savoring the sweet taste of your lover.

I had to leave. I'm not good enough for everyone. I don't deserve to be their friend. I-I don't. Even if I wanted to come back…I-I can't…How can I show myself in front of everyone. I betrayed them before in the Dark World; now I ran away from them without a simple goodbye. They must…fucking HATE me. Why wouldn't they. They said it before. All I do is cause problems; all I do is get them into trouble and hurt them. W-Why…does it have to be like this..?

Judai leaned against the tree but hung his head with his brown locks covering his eyes. He made sobbing noises but tried holding in the tears that were just about to fall. This year was filled with many mixed feelings (feelings of confusion, love, misery). The whole ordeal with Yusuke and the Darkness; abducting everyone and making every one think that they will be left behind. Judai did save everyone and everyone did make promises; everyone except Judai.

I always thought that…I can't help them. I used to act as if nothing bad will ever happen. Nothing bad will ever happen to THEM; however, it happened. The got hurt countless times and every single time was due to my stupidity and immaturity. I've hurt them…They died before…because of my dense personality. Every tear that fell down their faces…was because of me. Especially in the Dark World and especially in their last year of high school…where…everyone was supposed to be happy. But I couldn't do that for them. I couldn't even do that for…Johan.

Judai stood up and clenched his fists tightly. He felt so terrible. He felt like nothing in this world can help heal the mistakes he did. Especially to his boyfri-…his ex boyfriend. After Judai came back from the Dark world he walked up to Johan; his expression showing no emotion. He blankly and coldly told Johan that he didn't want to be with him; told him that he has other promises he had to keep. He has to love someone else; and it wasn't going to be him. Judai apologized and just told him to forget him; to act as if nothing special has ever happened between them.

I remember the look on his face when I told him straight-forward. He still had that happy smile and gave me the same look as if he loved me. But I knew something was different. I knew he wasn't the same after that. His beautiful pastel eyes didn't have the happy sparkle it always had. His eyes showed no emotion; not hurt, not love, nothing. A complete opposite of what his expression showed. He was still smiling down at me.

As Judai was reminiscing fresh tears were forming in his eyes; the eyes that had always showed no emotion. For the first time in weeks (even months) he showed emotion; even if the emotion was misery. In that moment Johan placed his hand upon Judai's soft cheek and smiled lovingly (his eyes having no sparkle). He remembered the exact words that Johan said.

Judai-chan…No matter what you say or go through I'm always going to love you. I'm happy that you're going to have someone you love. Maybe they can do what I couldn't. I thought I loved you enough but…I guess you didn't want that. I'm sorry Juuchan. I hope we can still stay best friends.

Judai's eyes widened and covered his ears as if he wanted to block out the flashback that was playing in his head. He fell to his knees and started whimpering. Tears were falling down his face as more were forming in his eyes.

Why did Johan say that? I hurt him…I hurt him so badly and in the worst way. Why did he forgive me so easily? W-Why? J-Johan…no…

I-I know you loved me before…I'm sorry you got sick of me so fast. But it was fun while it lasted. Maybe…maybe we can be together again and I can try and make you happier than I did before. But next time Juuchan I want to know what I did wrong so I can make sure I don't do it again.

J-Johan…W-Why did you forgive me so easily!! Why did you have to apologize? You didn't do anything wrong! You didn't hurt me; I was the one who hurt you and you still apologized!!

The thing is; this happened twice. After the duel with Darkness, Johan walked up to Judai smiling down at him; a smile Judai knew he didn't deserve. He told Judai that he was glad that he was ok and that he was happy to see him again so suddenly. In that moment Johan brushed a strand of hair out of Judai's face and whispered the few small words that Judai didn't want to hear.

Juuchan…I still love you…

In that moment, Judai glared and smacked Johan's hand away. He said that he didn't love him to begin with; that he didn't love him now. He told him that he didn't want to deal with him anymore and that he didn't need to hear those words.

I told him to forget me and move on. I told him to stop loving me; there's no hope for us. I even told the exact opposite of what I felt. I told him that I…hated him. But…the thing is; he didn't even wince when I said those words. He still showed me that loving expression he's been giving me for so long. Even at a moment like that, he still showed love for me.

Judai covered his face quickly trying to wipe the tears that were falling down his face; instead more tears trailed down his cheeks. The words Johan said after Judai said that…were words that amazed Judai himself.

Judai-chan, I know you don't love me anymore and I know I can't do anything to make you come back. I just wanted to let you know that I still love you and that…no matter what you can always still go to me whenever you need someone. That's all!!

Johan…I can't go back to you. I can't…Especially after everything I said to you; everything I said.

Judai stood up with his hair still covering his now blank expression (but tears still forming). He turned around and started walking away; Johan's voice still echoing in his mind.

I can't deny it any longer. I still love him. I still am IN love with him. I can never forget him…But if I go back now…I'm afraid he'd forget me…Johan-koi…I love you…

Flashback

"Johan-kun I love you so much" Judai said happily hugging Johan tightly. Johan smiled and laughed cutely while wrapping his arms around him. "I love you more!!" Johan replied smiling happily. "I love you more than rainbows Juuchan!!" Johan said excitely and lifting his smaller boyfriend against his chest. Judai's eyes glistened and giggled.

"Johan-kun, promise me something?" Judai said his innocent eyes looking up at him. Johan blinked and patted him on the head. "Yes Juuchan, I'd promise you anything" Judai smiled and blushed. He knew his boyfriend would promise him anything; even the world if possible but with Johan anything is possible!!

"Promise me we'd be together forever; that we would always be best friends and even more!!" Judai said smiling happily. Johan's eyes lit up and giggled holding Judai's face. "I promise Juuchan. No matter what we'd always be friends!! I always love you...Never forget that" and with that statement Johan made; they shared one light kiss sealing their promise.

Flashback End

I just wish I kept the promise Johan-kun…even when you kept yours…

OWARI

That's the first chapter...Hope you enjoyed it!!