title: Bridezilla
characters: Natsume H. Mikan S. Others.
inspiration: For the NastumeSeries contest.
details: This is an entry to NatsumeSeries Contest. Submission starts on August 12 and ends on September 20. For further information on the contest, contact Romantically Loveless or The Unknown Abyss.
disclaimer: Bwahaha. I totally own-- What's this? I'm being sued?Oh. Fine.
Truth is, I don't own Gakuen Alice. Happy?
summary: Natsume had no idea what he was getting into when he accepted Mikan's offer.
Bridezilla
"I hate my job."
--By: Heartbroken Confession--
"Seriously. You got fired. By the CIA?"
"Yes."
"Don't they like... have to kill you?"
Sigh. "No."
"Oh. Well. There's a job opening where I work."
"I'll take it."
"Well. I'm not sure if it's really your scene. I mean--"
"I'll take it."
Insert Evil Mikan Smirk.
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Wedding Countdown: 4
Crimson red eyes darted across the room.
Click. Click. Click.
His ears perked at the dreaded sound.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
He braced himself for what came next and tightened his grip on the object in his arms.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.Click.
He straightened his tie and turned around to face his latest adversary.
Shoda Sumire. His client (the Devil!) was clutching (squished) flowers in her hand. She opened her (big and annoying) mouth, to do what Natsume knew she did best. Whine. "Excuse me!"
"Shoda. You're killing those flowers."
Shoda's left eye twitched as her grip on the flowers tightened. Tossing the flowers at Natsume, she questioned him. "Do you know what flowers those are, Hyuuga Natsume?"
"Roses--"
"Tell me the color too, Natsume."
Natsume rolled his eyes at her melodramatic behavior. She clearly had a severe case of Bridezilla. "White roses, pink carnations, and pink forget-me-nots. Exactly what you asked for, Shoda."
"Wrong!" She screeched. "I wanted striped carnations, yellow roses, and white forget-me-nots!"
Natsume resisted the urge to sneer, keeping in mind his goal. He responded as calmly as he could. "Shoda. Striped carnations resemble refusal and yellow roses represent friendship. Surely you don't want your wedding flowers portraying that." He paused for a second before adding, "Besides. Those don't even match." His tone gave no hint at the uncomfortableness he felt from his vast knowledge of the Flower Language.
Shoda screamed and stomped her foot. "I don't care! They match better with the rest of the decorations, I don't care if they don't match with each other. Just get it done!"
Shoda began to storm off; leaving Natsume steaming. He lifted the notebook in his arm, half ready to smash it across her head and run (oh, how he missed his old job). Right before the notebook could rob her of her consciousness, a creamy white hand caught it.
"Natsume." He ground his teeth and turned grudgingly to the "voice".
"Yes," He gritted out, "Polka."
She smirked and straightened her posture. "That would be Mikan-sama to you."
He coughed. "Sakura." She rose a brow. "That's the best you're getting."
Mikan shrugged it off and frowned at him. "Natsume. What is guideline number one of SparklyAngelWeddingDesigners?"
" 'No rendering clients unconscious with strange/non-strange objects unless under the circumstances of self-defense or if client is severely fashionably disabled.' " Natsume deadpanned.
Mikan nodded; a content expression on her face. "See, Natsume? All those years with the CIA paid off! You catch on so quick!"
Natsume shot her an impassive glare. "You caught me, Sakura. I was working for the government all these years so I could train properly to be a wedding planner. It's my dream to help soon-to-be-brides choose dresses that don't make their butts looks huge."
Mikan tsked. "Stop being so cynical. I'm getting worried that you hate weddings."
"And so what if I do?"
Mikan nudged his shoulder. "Hey there! We've been dating since eighth grade, Hyuuga Natsume! That's over 10 years!"
Natsume frowned slightly at this. "Where are you going with this?"
"'You're a dick if you date a girl too long and don't marry her.' "
"You did not just reference He's Just Not That Into You."
"You did not just realize that I referenced He's Just Not That Into You."
Natsume tried to push away the heat rushing to his face at his mistake. "Aoi made me watch it."
Mikan giggled. "Is that your alibi? Are you sure you weren't checking for some crazy brain-washing device planted in the DVD for the government?"
"You're crazy."
"Yeah--"
"Oh my gosh! NATSUME. WHY IS THERE PEPSI? I WANTED COCA-COLA!"
Natsume twitched. "I have to go. Clearly, my client can not tell Coca-Cola from Pepsi."
Mikan winced. "Be nice. Shoda's a close friend of mine!"
Natsume rolled his eyes and pecked her on the cheek. "Yeah. yeah. I'll be nice to Bridezilla."
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Wedding Countdown: 3
To: Sakura Mikan
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Cake
Chef What's-Her-Face had a hissy fit and quit today. Do you have any other contacts for the wedding cake.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Sakura Mikan
Subject: Re:Cake
Do you remember Umenomiya Anna from high school? She owns a high-end bakery in Tokyo. She'll probably agree to make the cake if you ask nicely. I'm not sure if she'll be pleased, seeing she's a bridesmaid and she probably won't want to spend all her time designing a cake. But, she's a kind soul :) Just be super duper nice. Her e-mail's Cookiesncream at hotmail . com.
How in the world did you make Chef Takahashi quit anyway?
To: Umenomiya Anna
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Cake.
It's Hyuuga from high school. I'm planning Shoda's wedding (don't ask). Make the cake.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Umenomiya Anna
Subject: Re: Cake.
Yes. Because you asked so nicely.
No, not really because of you. You're lucky you're dating Mikan. I would have cyber-slapped you in the face. I'll make the cake: only because Mikan asked and Shoda's my friend.
To: Umenomiya Anna
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Re:Re: Cake.
Whatever.
To: Sakura Mikan
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Takahashi.
I merely commented on her resemblance to a shitty looking robot. Remember the one the Robotics Club created in high school? The one that did all the chores and served lunch...
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Sakura Mikan
Subject: Re: Takahashi
As much as I hate to admit it, OH MY GOD. You're right.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Shoda Sumire
Subject: WHATTT'S THIS I HEAR?!
WHY DID TAKAHASHI QUIT? WHAT IN THE WORLD, HYUUGA NATSUME!
Natsume-kun. My cake! MY BEAUTIFUL 5 LAYER CAKE!
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Yome Kokoro
Subject: Sorry, dude.
Sorry about my psycho fiancé. Mikan-san tells me that all bride-to-bes develop a bad case of Bridezilla days before the wedding. So, I guess she's just taking it out on you. Her planner. Oh and..
BAHAHAHAHA. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE A WEDDING PLANNER.
To: Yome Kokoro
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: 'Dude'.
Wanna die?
To: Shoda Sumire
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Re: WHATTT'S THIS I HEAR?!
Calm down, Shoda. I got Umenomiya to make the cake. It'll be better than anything that Robot Lunch Lady Takahashi could make.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Shoda Sumire
Subject: UGH! FINE.
FINE. BUT YOU'RE SO MAKING THIS UP TO US. I'M DEMANDING A DISCOUNT ON YOUR PLANNING...NESS. CAUSE YOU SUCK AT IT. SERIOUSLY.
And. Oh. Wow. She does kind of look like that robot that the Robotics club made back in high school.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Yome Kokoro
Subject: Re: 'Dude'.
No. I'm good. Cause I'm getting married in four days! 8)
To: Sakura Mikan
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Discount
Shoda's asking for a discount. Apparently because I suck as a wedding planner.
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Sakura Mikan
Subject: Re: Discount
Fine.
And honey, you do suck as a wedding planner.
To: Sakura Mikan
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Re:Re: Discount
I am not a wedding person in general. And before you pester me about it
"Then you're an ass for marrying her before you're ready."
To: Hyuuga Natsume
From: Sakura Mikan
Subject: You are such a chick.
You like that movie way too much. You know, does that mean you're not into me? The movie is called He's Just Not That Into You.
To: Sakura Mikan
From: Hyuuga Natsume
Subject: Chicks don't have dicks.
Polka, I've been dating you for twelve years.
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Wedding Countdown: 2
"I can not believe that it's supposed to rain!" Shoda sobbed.
Natsume's arm swung slightly as she pulled another tissue out of the Kleenex box he was holding.
"Why does the world hate me?!"
Natsume resisted the urge to comment and put down the tissue box. "It rains when it rains."
"But why my wedding day?" She turned her head to the sky and screamed. "What have I ever done to you?!"
"You opened your mouth..." Natsume mumbled under his breath.
Koko shot him a quick glare before wrapping his arm around Shoda's shoulders. "It's okay."
She shrugged off his arm and slapped it. "How is it okay? It's going to rain, Koko. It's as if Mother Nature is crying because we suck!"
Natsume snorted at this and Koko frowned. "Sumire, we do not suck. Right, Natsume?"
"Right." Natsume drawled.
Natsume tuned out the other two as Koko sweet talked Shoda.
How in the world did he end up here? All his life, he was sure he'd be doing something more meaningful (which he was, before.) Now here he is, planning weddings. It seemed so pointless to him. Spoiled daughters all over the world would squeeze hundreds of thousands of dollars out of their parents to have one big party.
What was so special about getting to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle? Koko seemed just fine, so why did Shoda have to get so caught up about it?
Females, he shook his head, they're so strange.
"It's love." He turned around and Mikan smiled at him; popping out of nowhere seemed to be her thing lately.
"What?" He whispered back.
She rolled her eyes and smiled. "It's special because it's love."
Natsume grimaced. "Marrying isn't the only way to show that you love each other."
Mikan shrugged and grinned her big stupid grin. " No, it isn't." She tilted her head and sighed dreamily as Sumire laughed and threw her arms around Koko. "But it's nice."
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Wedding Countdown: 1
Natsume never imagined himself in the Personal Hygiene section of the pharmacy store.
Wait. No. That came out wrong.
He never imagined himself in the feminine portion of the Person Hygiene section. Because he was hygienic. Don't take that first part wrong, he took care of his personal hygiene.
But he never imagined he'd be shopping for tampons.
"May I help you?" He turned to the employee. The employee was a girl, most likely still in high school. She had an amused smile on her face and her annoyingly big eyes were practically undressing him.
"I need..." He forced himself to finish the sentence. "The best tampons you have."
The girl's amused smile turned into hysterical laughter.
"Tch." He glared at her. Stupid employee.
He cursed Shoda; the reason why he was here.
Why He Was Here.
"I'm having my period."
Natsume's nose cringed and he stopped in his tracks. Turning his attention from the people hanging the decorations to Sumire he spoke "I did not need to know that."
"Yes, you do!" Sumire shook her head. "My dress is white, Natsume-kun. WHITE!"
Somehow, Natsume could see how bad the situation could get. "Not only that," She continued. "But my outfits for the reception? Two of them are white on the bottom half!"
"What do you want me to do about it?" Natsume asked irritatedly. She stared at him in response. "We are not changing your outfits."
She screeched and stomped her foot. "Fine!" Her lips tugged up in a smirk. "But you are finding me what I need."
Natsume's stomach churned and a lump formed in his throat. He had a very bad feeling about this. "What you..."
"Tampons, Natsume." She tapped a finger against her cheek in thought. "The best kind."
Natsume fidgeted a bit. "I wish you luck with your endeavor." He turned around and attempted to make his way out.
A hand clamped on his shoulder; stopping him in his tracks. "Not so quick."
The girl was still chuckling when she finally decided to hand him the...object.
Natsume growled and snatched it from her hand. He would at least keep his dignity while he walked away. Pulling his hood over his head he put the object on the counter and paid for it.
His phone buzzed in his pocket as he crossed the street to head back to the hotel where Shoda was holding her wedding.
"Hyuuga here."
"Hyuuga."
"What do you want, Imai?" He tossed the bag of tampons at Shoda. She caught pulled them out of the bag and smiled. "These are perfect!"
"The band booked for Shoda's wedding won't be able to make it. They had seafood last night and came down with food poisoning."
Shoda, who was close enough to Natsume to hear the conversation choked on her own spit. "What?!" She wailed. Nearly yanking off his arm, Shoda snatched his phone.
"No, no, no! They can't!"
"Shoda?"
"Yes, Hotaru. WHY?"
There was no response. The line went dead.
"HOW COULD YOU HANG UP ON ME?!" Her voice cracked as tears began to stream down her face. She threw his phone at his head and yelled at him.
"Why do you hate me?" She sobbed. "Stop trying to sabotage my wedding!"
Natsume glowered at her. "I am not."
"Yes you are!" Her eyes narrowed. She sniffed, "I bet you're part of some evil organization! You guys are all out to get me. You're trying to ruin my wedding! The... The.. EPTTSSSW!"
"The what?" He asked incredulously.
"Yeah. That's right!" She pounded her fist against his chest. "The Evil People Trying To Sabotage Shoda Sumire's Wedding! I caught you red-handed!"
"You're being ridiculous." Natsume snapped.
"Woah." Natsume turned to a Mikan; a concerned expression on her face. She picked up the hem of the bridesmaid dress she was wearing for the wedding rehearsal. "What's wrong?"
"The band cancelled." Natsume explained.
"Natsume's trying to ruin my life." Shoda chimed at the same time.
"I am not." Natsume retorted.
Mikan sighed with frustration and ran a hand through her auburn hair. "Natsume. We need to find a replacement."
"I realized."
"Why do you hate me?" Shoda took a step closer to him.
"What do you think we should do?" Mikan asked.
"Hn." Natsume replied; he put a hand in front of his face to hide from Sumire's stare.
"Are you mad because I stopped stalking you in sophomore year? Natsume. I needed to move on. I found Koko."
Mikan tapped her foot in thought for a brief moment. "Don't you know Mouri Reo?"
Natsume shuddered at the name. "Yes..."
"You have to understand that I can only-- Did you just say Mouri Reo?" Sumire glanced from Mikan to Natsume. "You're getting me Mouri Reo? Oh my gosh!"
Natsume shot Mikan a "do-I-have-to?" look.
"Yes." She replied curtly.
"You guys are the best!" She tackled Natsume with a hug. "I knew you didn't hate me!" She pranced away.
"I swear, she's bipolar."
Mikan rose a brow at him.
Natsume sighed. "Fine. I'll get him."
Mikan smiled and hugged him. "You're the best."
Natsume scoffed and wrapped his arm around her. Planning Shoda's wedding was a bitch; but Mikan was worth it.
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Wedding Countdown: 0
"You may now kiss the bride."
As the crowd clapped and cheered, Natsume was still questioning how the wedding turned out so well.
He would be lying if he said that he expected everything to go off without a hitch. Honestly, he wasn't going to be surprised if it crashed and burned. Yet somehow, everything was perfect. Just like Shoda said she wanted it to be when she walked into Mikan's office nine months ago.
Anna had outdone herself on the cake. It was amazing and it made even Natsume's mouth water and he didn't even like sweets.
Reo (creepy, creepy, kidnapping Reo) easily pleased Shoda and the rest of the crowd.
"That was so beautiful." Mikan sniffed, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. The champagne in her cup swished slightly and she turned around to face him. "You did a great job, Natsume."
He shrugged in response and took a sip of champagne. His crimson eyes followed the crowd as they chattered amongst themselves. They were waiting for the ballroom door to open for the reception.
"I want my wedding to be like that." She mused.
Natsume turned his eyes to her curiously and she blushed at her mistake. "Don't tell me you're tipsy already from that little bit of champagne."
She frowned. "I am not. I was just saying." She mumbled. "Besides. I give up on trying to get you to marry me. Clearly you don't want to get married. Ever."
"That's not true." Natsume said. "I do want to get married."
Mikan's eyes widened. "But--"
"Preferably in April." He smirked.
"Natsume..." A smile grew on her face. "Are you..."
"Sakura Mikan." He grinned. "I guess I won't mind having to wake up to your drool covered face every day."
Her eyes began to water as her grin grew even bigger.
"And if I'm stuck washing your kiddy-patterned underwear whenever it's my turn to do laundry; or if I have to go buy you Howalon when you're having those stupid period cravings..." He paused and pulled the small black box he bought yesterday out of his pockets. "I'm okay with it."
He opened the box and Mikan gasped. Her hand covered her mouth as she stared the ring.
"I'm okay with it too." She tossed her arms around him and dug her head into the crease at his neck.
The people around them stared incredulously and clapped. It was the weirdest wedding proposal they had ever seen. But then again, the couple themselves had always been unorthodox. Because that's just who they were.
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April
Countdown: 3
"THESE FLOWERS ARE THE WRONG COLOR!"
"I'm sorry. No! PLEASE. DON'T KILL ME!"
"COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID WEDDING PLANNER!"
Sweat-drop. "Seems your Mikan has a case of Bridezilla."
Smirk. "Yup."
"You proud?"
"Proud as a soccer mom."
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Ah. I haven't written humor in so long that I'm rusty. I think I tried a little too hard because it sucks. Oh well. :) You like?
Hehe. Please review :)