Christmas 2004
"Am I even going the right way?"
"Yeah, just take the next right. No, no, no! The next one, sorry."
Kat rolled her eyes at her sister. She eased her car around the correct corner and rolled down the street. She kept her foot over the brake, expecting Jess to tell her to stop at any one of the tiny suburban houses. But they kept driving for another five minutes. When Jess pointed a finger, it was to the largest building on the block.
"Seriously?" Kat asked, parking against the curb. "We're picking him up at the library?"
"Shut up," Jess sang as she unbuckled her seatbelt. "He's got a practice exam next week. Do not bring it up!"
"Whatever. Just tell your boyfriend to get a car!"
Jess ignored her, scrambling out of the car and running up the path to the library.
Kat grumbled and turned off her radio. Jess had insisted on listening to Christmas music the entire way, and it was driving Kat up the wall. She'd take any few minutes of respite that she could get. She switched over to her CDs, and was three tracks into her Michelle Branch album before she looked up.
A laugh outside drew her attention back to the library. Jess had returned, dragging her colossal boyfriend behind her. They'd stopped on the steps to the building. Sam had pulled Jess back into his arms, and they were smiling at each other like the cover of a Christmas Hallmark movie.
In the privacy of her car, Kat grinned and shook her head. Dorks.
She had just enough time to turn the Christmas music back on before the back door swung open.
"Hey, Kat," said Sam, ducking into the back seat. "Merry Christmas."
"Hey there, Sam. Merry—oh no, Jess. This is not a chauffeur service. You can sit next to each other at the dinner table. Up front."
Jess rolled her eyes, climbing out of the car once more—but not before she pulled Sam into an obnoxiously long kiss in retaliation. She winked, then stepped around to the passenger seat and settled in smugly.
"Brat," Kat huffed.
"Scrooge," Jess fired back.
"Hey, I am listening to your damn Christmas music. What more do you want from me?"
"I don't know, a few smiles? Tinsel? Peace on earth and good will toward men?"
Kat snorted and kicked the car back into drive. Sam directed her back to the highway while Jess fiddled around with the stereo, and in a few minutes they were back on the road.
"So, Sam," Kat began, glancing in her mirror, "you ready to face the Grand Moore Jury? Could be the biggest trial of your life."
"Actually, yeah," he answered with a laugh. "Jess has been drilling me on just about everyone in your family tree, from you to Great Aunt Rosie. So I'm feeling pretty prepared."
"A lot easier than studying for the LSATs," Jess said, turning back to him with a grin.
"Oh yeah. Anything is better than the LSATs."
"Hold on," said Kat, "I thought we weren't talking about the LSATs?"
"No, you're not talking about the LSATs," Jess corrected. "I'm the girlfriend, so I get special privileges. Among other things."
Kat did not have to look to see the wink her sister sent to Sam, or the proud blush that would be on his cheeks. She scrunched up her nose, beating the steering wheel into admission.
"No! Gross! Not in my car!"
"Grow up," Jess laughed. "You're just jealous."
"Yeah, well don't go patting yourselves on the back just yet. Rattling off all our relatives isn't exactly the hard part."
"What do you mean?" asked Sam.
"I mean that it's not what you know about them, it's what they know about you. Or what they don't know, in this case."
"I don't think it will be that bad," said Jess. "I already told everyone that Sam was coming, who he was and what he does. They're really excited to meet you."
"Exactly," said Kat. "Like really excited."
She gave a pointed look to Jess, who grimaced bravely for a few seconds. Then she deflated completely.
"Yeah, I know. I fucked up."
"What?" Sam laughed from the backseat, a noise that was lined with panic. "Fucked up how?"
"I got over-excited! I just—I was so happy when you said you were gonna spend Christmas with us. I wanted everything to be perfect. So I told everyone that you were coming and told them all about you, and that they had to be on their best behavior because this was kind of a big deal for me, and a big deal for you because I know you never really celebrate Christmas that much, and I ended up just making a big thing out of it and now everyone's dying to meet you."
Sam's innocent puppy eyes blinked in the rearview mirror. "Is that…not good?"
"Of course it's not!" Jess cried. "Because my family's crazy and they're gonna interrogate the shit out of you and make things awkward and…I just don't want this family dinner to scare you off."
"Jess," Sam sighed. His hand snaked between the front seats, taking hers and pulling her as far around as her seatbelt would allow. "You are, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me. I promise, it's gonna take a lot more than some overeager relatives to freak me out."
"You don't know my family," Jess groaned.
"No, but I know mine. Trust me. I wouldn't be too confident about you meeting my family either."
Jess nodded and rubbed a free hand down her face. "I know. I know everyone has family like that. I'm being dumb, I was just…kinda worried."
"I can see that," said Sam with a smirk, "but why wouldn't you just tell me? If you were that anxious about it, then…"
"Cause I know it sounds dumb," she laughed. "I was trying to prepare you without saying anything that would throw me under the bus. Why did you think I was drilling you on all my cousins and their hobbies and stuff? They're diversion tactics for when you want to jump ship on a conversation."
Sam laughed. He stretched in his seat to plant a kiss on her cheek, still shaking his head when he sat back. "Babe, it's just a few questions. I'm in pre-law. I think I can handle it."
"Oh really?"
Kat stepped back into the conversation, confident that their couple moment was complete for the time being. She glanced over her shoulder at the behemoth in the backseat. It was difficult not to seem smug.
"What kind of car do you drive, Sam?"
"Uh…I don't," he answered, bemused. "You know that."
"Yeah, but they don't. And if they ask, you should probably tell them you're one of those Go Green Cali types."
"I'm—wait, what?"
"You bike everywhere and use public transit because you're environmentally conscience and have faith in our civic systems. Not because you can't afford a car."
"No, Kat," Jess sighed. "He shouldn't have to lie."
"You're right. He shouldn't. But unless you want to listen to Uncle Bobby go on a tirade over the turkey, he's gonna have to. 'How can you expect to take care of our little Jessie if you can't afford your own transportation? A man has to be reliable, and strong, and provide blah blah blah for his family. No man should rely on his girlfriend for a car.'"
Sam and Jess both snickered, but the sound quickly fizzled out under their flushed cheeks. They eyed each other bashfully. Kat rolled her eyes.
"And you have to stop blushing at the word 'girlfriend.' Lord knows you'll probably hear a lot worse tonight."
"She is just trying to scare you," Jess assured him, kissing the inside of his wrist.
"Actually, I'm trying to save him."
"I appreciate it, Kat." Sam slid up behind the passenger seat, wrapping his long arms around both Jess and the chair. He turned to Kat with a grin. "Any other helpful tips?"
"As a matter of fact, yes. Keep your phone in your pocket and your hands off my sister. Don't fall into the trap of agreeing with everyone all the time. Stick to your opinions and make your case. And that means knowing when to say no. Aunt Carol's going to keep piling second helpings of pasta on your plate to see how long you can go, but the rest of us want to move onto the second course. Just say you want to save room for the rest of her cooking and be done with it. Don't tell your joke about the Dewey decimal system, and be prepared for at least two people to ask to about family planning. Minimum."
Sam gaped at Kat, still struggling to process all the different points. Jess was cackling, and had already slid so far down in her seat that Sam's arms were now around her throat.
"Holy shit, Kat," she wheezed, wiping her eyes. "Tell us what you really think."
"Hey, I'm your big sister. You said you wanted things to be perfect. I put a lot of thought into how things could go wrong."
"Well you were very thorough. I can't think of anything you missed."
"Thanks. Well, except for the obvious."
Sam felt Jess still under his arms. She pushed herself up to her full height again, and judging by the cool expression on Kat's face, she was giving one hell of a death glare.
"What's the obvious?" he asked.
"I um…" Jess reached up and ran her hands along his forearms, the touch instantly soothing even when he wasn't particularly agitated. "I wasn't sure what you wanted to say."
"About what?"
"Christmas?" Jess unbuckled her seatbelt. Kneeling on her chair, she turned around to face him, her chin propped on the top of the headrest. "It's a big thing for most families. Don't get me wrong, everyone's thrilled you're coming to spend it with us, just…they're probably gonna ask why you're not spending it with yours."
Sam sighed, and slid back into his seat.
"I asked them not to," Jess said gently. "But you know how they get. I pretty much guaranteed that they will. I'm so sorry, Sam. Please don't be mad."
"No, I'm not mad," he assured her. "I get it. I'm the new kid at school, and people are curious."
"So, what do you want to tell them?"
"The truth I guess."
"Which is?" Kat prompted. Sam smiled as her sister smacked her.
"My dad wanted me to join the family business. I wanted to go to college. So I applied to Stanford behind his back, and we haven't really spoken since."
"What about Dean?" asked Jess in a soft voice.
"Yeah, Dean's checked in once or twice. Mostly when he needs something. But uh…it's not really the same anymore, you know?"
"Yeah. I know." Jess reached back to him, and squeezed his hand. "Well whatever happened along the way, no matter how crazy, I'm really glad it brought you to me."
Sam grinned, kissing the inside of her wrist in return. "Me too."
"Me three, if it matters," Kat chimed in. "And I still have one question."
"Kat…"
"One more. What exactly is the family business?"
"Oh, uh…" Sam ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Auto shop. My dad's a mechanic."
"Wow. Very ritzy." Kat hissed as Jess smacked her again, no longer holding back her strength. "Ow, fuck! Alright, alright! All is calm, all is bright! I get it!"
The girls dissolved into laughter, and Sam followed along. He did the best he could to ignore the tug in his gut. There were a lot of reasons he didn't like talking about his family at Stanford. He didn't like lying to Jess if he could help it. And talking about his past always involved lying, because there was no way he was going to tell her the truth about what his family did. He wanted to leave that behind—all of it. He didn't want Jess to live with the same worries he had, the same uneasiness in the dark and mistrust of strangers. If it meant protecting her from that, he would lie every day for the rest of his life.
But the other reason he didn't talk about his past was because it hurt. He didn't miss hunting—the shitty motels, stale diner food, his dad's over-controlling rules. But there were some things he did miss: their overplayed rock music, Dean's mac and cheese from the box, sneaking into movie theaters when Dean flirted with the ushers. They were little things. But they were enough.
Christmas had never been a big priority on the road. He and Dean swapped gifts when they could—mostly small things Dean had shoplifted or cheap things Sam could afford. Maybe they would spring for some cookies or eggnog, and watch a holiday movie on TV. It was nothing compared to the spread that would be waiting for him at the Moore house, he was sure. There would be turkey and ham and all kinds of sides, as much as he could dream of eating before they even got to dessert. Everyone would be hugging and catching up with each other, making honest conversation, even singing if Jess was telling the truth about her grandfather's piano skills. It would be a real Hollywood Christmas.
He was excited, but was also overwhelming. And no matter how he tried to distract himself, there was a part of him that longed for the cheap Chinese food and peace of a motel room.
The car stopped a few minutes later, Kat parallel parking seamlessly on a street that was packed bumper to bumper with other vehicles. Jess shivered and jumped as she climbed out onto the sidewalk, burrowing her hands into her coat, while Kat simply tugged her sweatshirt a bit tighter.
"God, how are you two not freezing?" Jess demanded, looking between him and her sister.
"Babe, it's a California winter," Sam laughed. "It's not that cold."
"Shut up, furnace."
"Stop being such a baby," Kat groaned. "It's only a few houses down."
They started down the sidewalk, but were barely able to continue their conversation when a trill cut through the air. Sam jumped, and both girls turned to look at him as he fished his phone out of his pocket.
"Ah! What did I say?" Kat yelled, brandishing a finger at his phone. "Off!"
"Huh? Oh, I—no, I just…" Sam spluttered, still staring at his phone. "I kind of have to take this. Just—Just go ahead without me."
"What?" Jess hurried back, her face etched with concern. "Is everything okay?"
"No, yeah. Yeah, it's just uh—Brady. I told him I'd check in before dinner. You know, final will and testament before your relatives skin me alive."
Jess pouted, hiding her amusement under a glare. It was adorable.
"Seriously," he laughed, kissing her head. "Go on. I'll be right behind you."
"Fine," she sighed. "It's number 830, the big…"
"Big red house on the right, I know. I'll be there in a sec."
Kat grabbed her sister's reluctant hand and tugged her down the street. Sam fidgeted where he stood, playing with his phone. If he didn't pick up in time, there'd be no calling back. But he had to wait until they were out of ear shot…
At the last second he flipped the phone open, jamming it next to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey there, Sammy."
Just that was enough to make Sam beam down at the cement.
"Hey, Dean. What's up? It's…good to hear from you."
"Seriously?" Dean chuckled dryly. "I always figured you hated me calling. You're always rushing to hang up on me for some pep rally or study session or whatever."
"Well it's Christmas, right?"
"No shit, is it?" There was a rustle, and Sam could just picture Dean looking around innocently. "You know it—it just completely slipped my mind. Not like we're doing a lot of celebrating around here, anyway."
"Yeah, where are you?"
"Florida. Coupla locals have gone missing, swamp areas, half-moon. Course it could just be your average swamp gator. That's Florida for ya."
"Definitely," said Sam. "So, Dad's uh…?"
"Yeah, he's out on the case. Haven't seen him in a day or two."
"Right, yeah. What've you been up to?"
"Research mostly, which blows. But if it's Christmas maybe I'll take a night off, huh? Go down to the bar, find a Jewish chick or something." Sam snorted in spite of himself, something he knew probably had Dean smiling. "What about you? You throwing a dorm rager or something?"
"Uh, no. I'm…" Sam looked around him, surrounded by intimidating suburban houses. "I'm actually going to a friend's for dinner. Crashing a family party."
"Wow. Sounds ritzy. This friend of yours a girl?"
"Dean…"
But there was no arguing with him. Dean let out a low whistle and laughed on the other end of the phone.
"Well look at you, Sammy. Meeting the parents, that's pretty official stuff."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I know that."
"How you feeling?"
"Not great. And you're definitely not helping."
"Sorry," said Dean, unconvincingly. "Hey, she got any cousins? Hot sister?"
Sam's laughed echoed up and down the street. The mental image of Dean and Katherine sitting across from each other at a fancy dinner table was too funny to handle.
"Yeah, Dean she—she would eat you alive."
"Alright! Sounds like my kinda girl. Don't say anything too bad about me, huh? Don't wanna ruin my chances."
"Right. I'll keep that in mind."
They chuckled for a few seconds more. Sam wasn't sure what to say. And if he didn't know, he was sure Dean didn't either. But Dean surprised him by clearing his throat, and speaking gruffly.
"Hey, either way, uh…I'm happy for you, man. Good luck in there."
"Oh, uh…thanks. You too, um…at the bar."
"Yeah, the bar. I…I should probably get going, you know. Wait too long and all the hot chicks will be taken or passed out."
"Right," said Sam. "So I'll uh…or just…"
"Yeah, definitely."
Sam sighed. He tilted his head back and smiled bitterly at the moon.
"Well, uh…have a Shitty Christmas, Dean."
Dean barked out a laugh.
"You too, Sammy. And a Crappy New Year."