Nobody really knows when Tweek and Craig became an 'item'. Everyone knew about the one day couples in elementary school two kids are'boyfriend and girlfriend' for a day or even for a class period. When Tweek Tweak and Craig Tucker held hands during recess one day the kids were confused, no one had seen two little boys hold hands like a boy and a girl do.
Wendy thinks they became a couple after their big fight and they were stuck together in the hospital, she's convinced Stan to think so too.
Kyle and Kenny think that the two joined together before the fight and nobody really noticed and that's why Tweak was hesitant to fight him.
Cartman just doesn't care.
Token and Clyde were understandably extremely confused to see the two holding hands but didn't object.
The fact is that the little squirmy blonde and the deadpan black haired boy were holding hands .
And Weny Testaburger had to know what exactly what the hell was going on between her cousin and Tweek.
Wendy walked over to them, Bebe and Red by her side, and asked "What's going on?"
Craig shrugged, not sure what to say but also didn't really care to answer his cousin's answer.
"Hmph. I'll just come over to your house during Red Racer if you don't tell us!" Wendy scrunched up her nose, she was curious for an answer.
Craig's eyes slightly widened, trying to keep the expression of being unfazed "Oh well."
Bebe whispered in Wendy's ear, squinting at Craig, and Wendy repeated what her friend suggested, "We'll take Stripe out of his cage and let Mr. Slave shove it up his ass!"
"Agh!" Tweek placed his hands on each side of his face, mimicking The Scream.
Craig gasped, and answered the girl's question of 'What was going on?' with a big kiss on Tweek's cheek.
The girls of course giggled, thinking the kiss between the two boys was extremely cute.
The boys, however, did not.
Cartman saw this from the corner of his eye, "Weak!"
Kyle and Stan turned their heads to Cartman's attention, Kyle raising his eyebrows "Dude, what's Wendy making them do?!"
"That's freaking cute, sure it's fucking faggy but it's better than seeing Stan puke on Wendy." Kenny muffled underneath his parka.
The recess bell rang and the kids filed in rows to be escorted back to their classes, Tweek and Craig holding hands with a blush across both of their faces.
"W-We can't do that ever again!" Tweek squeaked softly as he dug his fingernails into his scalp. "Too much pressure! What if they see us! What if..What if... What if we get in trouble and we become social o-utcasts and never have any friends or family and it'll just be us! GAH!"
Criag stared at Tweek for a while, nodding. "Whatever you say, Tweek babe."
One thing about the two's relationship was that Craig always threw in little pet names, he thought it was cool considering all the studs on television tell their damsel in destress either darling or babe.
Once everyone was scrambling into their classrooms, Stan just didn't understand how Craig and Tweek would kiss on the cheeks! He'd seen BeBe kiss Token before on the cheek, but that was different because well, it looked normal. Stan remebered that Big Gay Al had told him to accept the gays.
"Hey Craig?" Stan walked over to the fellow black haired boy, hands in his pockets.
Craig looked up from his work, raising an eyebrow "Yeah?"
"The guys and I were talking about that day when you kissed Tweek on the cheek. We were all wondering how'd that exactly happen." Stan smiled slightly,"I'm pretty sure my Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned are gay together."
"Yeah, your Uncle Jimbo tried screwing my dad at a party, but he was pretty drunk and Ned's a redneck." Craig looked back down at his work, hiding a blush as he heard Tweek's soft squeaks.
"It's okay if you're gay. Sparky, my old dog, was gay." Stan nodded slowly.
Craig snorted slightly, "You're comparing me to your dead dog now? If I was gay I wouldn't tell you anyway, you'd probably tell Wendy and she'd tell her mom and her mom would tell my mom and all that jazz."
Stan shrugged and walked back to his seat, muttering "Who says all that jazz anymore?"
Kyle rose his hand after talking with Cartman and Stan a bit, "Mr. Garrison?"
Strangely enough, Mr. Garrison was still their teacher "Yes, Kyle?"
"If someone was gay, do you think they should just come out and admit it?" Kyle bit his bottom lip.
"Agh!" Tweek squeaked.
Mr. Garrison smiled and rolled his eyes, "Oh Kyle, if you and Stan have the hots for each other just wait til High School, Stan will probably be at least six feet tall, you, Kyle, probably 5'5 ish on account of you're Jewish. So, wait a little bit before you two start shoving sausages up your asses."
"What?!" Kyle looked at Stan, mortified."No,dude! There's these...kids in our class who kissed on the cheek before and they're both dudes."
Butters twiddled his knuckles together, "Wait?! Eric and I? I...I only did that cause I thought he was gonna die of AIDS!"
"NO BUTTERS, YOU DUMBASS. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT CRAIG AND TWEEK! THEY'RE FAGS!" Cartman nearly busted out of his seat.
Tweek pulled at his sunny blonde hair "AGH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"
"So?! Pip draws pictures of that one Damien kid all the time! Does that make HIM gay,fatass?" Annie piped up, squinting at Cartman.
Pip bit his lower lip and stared down at his notebook, "Yeah! So what?"
Cartman rolled his eyes, clicked his tongue and said matter a factly, "Pip is French, therefore he is automatically a fag."
Craig shrugged and patted Tweek's girating shoulder, trying to calm him.
"That's very nice, now does anyone else have any secrets you all want to share?" Mr. Garrison. rolled his eyes, and sighed as he pushed on the intercom button, "Principal Victoria, can you send Mr. Mackey to my room these bastards are yelling at eachother...about things Mr. Mackey should hear, I just don't want one of these kids to go home and jump off a bride or some shit like that."
"Wait, am I gay because I dressed up as a girl?" Butters looked at Cartman, shocked.
Kenny squinted, "Does that make me gay?! I dress up as a girl all the time...With Butters!"
"I...AGH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek banged his head up and down on his desk.
Mr. Mackey walked into the door, "What the hell is going on?"
"Apparently Craig and Tweek kissed during recess and all the kids think they're gay." Mr. Garrison brought Mr. Hat to his chest and walked out of the room, muttering quietly, "Kids these days, Mr. Hat I just don't understand it."
"So, who wants to talk first, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey sat down on Mr. Garrison's desk, then got up once he saw how much it was stained in ejaculate.
Stan rose his hand, sighed and looked at Mr. Makey, "How do gay people have sex? Do they really shove their..dicks into each other's asses?"
"Sick, man!" Kyle swatted at Stan's hat.
"What's the big freaking deal? Just because I like Tweek like Stan likes Wendy doesn't mean anything, I just like him, don't you guys see how cute he is? Even Stripe likes him." Craig spoke up in his nasally little voice.
"That's freaking gay, man." Cartman groaned and looked to Token "I hate faggots."
Token just raised a dark eyebrow.
Mr. Mackey nodded slowly, "M'kay..what does anyone else have to say?"
Tweek shook his head and curled his small shaking body into Craig's chest, muttering about a place with sunshine and puppies and kittens.
"Yeah! Why is everyone making a big deal about it? Token and I knew that Tweek and Craig had something going on.I know I cried about it, but if you guys really think of Craig or Tweek as your friends you'd understand that they're happy with each other." Clyde groaned, his eyebrows drawn together.
Craig looked up at Mr. Mackey and smiled "We went to the zoo together, Tweek really likes anteater. I like the capybaras. We both like penguins, even though the penguin house smells like Cartman."
"AY!" Cartman squinted.
"Mr. Mackey? Am I gay? This one time Kenny and I dressed up in dresses and played lesbians..I, well, kissed him and we..scissored like girls. Kenny saw it in a video before." Butters bit his lip nervously and rubbed his knuckles together, "Please don't tell my parents.."
Kenny muffled, "We promised not to tell anyone, Butters you butthole!"
Mr. Mackey looked down at his hands and muttered, "Where's Big Gay Al when you need him?" The large headed teacher stared at the door where he was sure that Big Gay Al would enter at any time, but he didn't. Instead, Mr. Mackey buzzed the intercom button.
"Yeah, uhm..Principal Victoria..the kids are asking about homosexuality and cross dressing and I don't know if I should tell them to accept it or not accept it, m'kay."
Principal Victoria sat in her office and thought for a moment, "Call the parents, I don't want you to preach to some little 10 year olds about buttsex."
"M'kay..bye." directed his attention to the students,"Kids, I'm going to have to call your mothers and tell them to teach you about this. I'm not going to touch this anymore."
Kyle's eyes widened, "Oh shit, dude! My mom will probably kill someone."
"That's cause you're moms a big fat bitch!" Cartman snickered.
Stan looked to his friend, eyebrows raised, "Wait, Your mom worked with Big Gay Al, she must love gays!"
Pip flicked Cartman and squinted, "By the way, I'm not French. I'm British."
"Nobody cares Pip, Nobody cares if you went back to France, Nobody would care if you died." Cartman sighed.
"Mr. Mackey! You can't call my parents, I'll get grounded." Butters softly whined, as he heard Clyde begin to cry nearby.
Mr. Mackey bit his lip and patted both of the boy's back, "There there, don't cry, m'kay. The message will just say 'Hello, parents, this is Mr. Mackey the school counselor and we need you to discuss your views on homosexuality due to their confusion."
"Ohhhh..." The kids all nodded in union as if their problems were all solved.
As if.
Super sucky.. First South Park thing I ever wrote..
There will be more chapters..