"So what should we do with our last few days?"
I gaze into her beautiful eyes and realize all I want is her. "I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," I answer honestly.
"Come on then," Katniss says, leading me into her room.
It feels like the first time again, the time on the Victory Tour when I heard her screaming and rushed in to soothe her. Except this time, she isn't thrashing around, tears staining her cheeks, calling out for her family to run. No, this time it's me who needs her here. Desperately. So I pull her in close to me, her head fitting exactly into the space against my shoulder, and stroke her hair, whispering her name into the darkness. It isn't long until I feel myself slipping into a peaceful sleep, protected by the girl lying next to me.
I wake to Katniss smiling up at me.
"No nightmares," I say, noting that she didn't interrupt my sleep once this night.
"No nightmares," she responds. "You?"
"None. I'd forgotten what a real night's sleep feels like," I say.
"Me too," Katniss agrees. She sighs. "Today is what will be the real nightmare."
I laugh, thinking of our coaching sessions for the interviews today. "Maybe if we just don't show up, they won't notice we're gone," I tease.
"Maybe," she says, and then lies back, closing her eyes. I stroke her hair, thinking about how little time left there is until the arena.
Just then, an Avox comes in, holding a note that she gives to Katniss, who reads it aloud.
"Katniss and Peeta, given your recent tour, Haymitch and I have agreed that you are fully capable of handling yourselves adequately in public. The coaching sessions are canceled. Yours, Effie."
"Really?" I say, because the thought of getting a day off is too hard to believe, so I snatch the card to read for myself. "Do you know what this means? We'll have the whole day to ourselves."
"It's too bad we can't go somewhere," Katniss says, dreamily.
But I think of last year, our last night before the arena and realize that maybe it doesn't have to be a dream. "Who says we can't?" I raise my eyebrow at her, making sure she understands. She smiles up at me, and we both giggle like we're in Kindergarten.
The roof will be perfect.
"Can we get some food to go? Oh and some blankets?" I ask a nearby Capitol attendant. He hurries to get our order, and before long we're up on the roof enjoying the morning sun and light breeze.
It's beautiful up here—in the gardens bursting with multi-colored flowers, the wind chimes tinkling, the birds chirping—but none of it compares with Katniss. Watching her eat, and laugh, and smile, it's as if nothing but perfection exists. If I had to live like this for the rest of my life, I'd be more than willing.
We spend the morning just relaxing, eating the Capitol food, absorbing the heat from the sun. I can't take my eyes off of Katniss. The way the sun catches the strands in her hair, turning them golden. The way her eyes brighten when she laughs. How she bites down on her bottom lip in concentration when she makes knots using hanging vines. It's all so fascinating to me, that I pull out my sketch book that I brought up with me, and start sketching her. I can't do her justice—no one could—but I'm still pretty proud of it once I'm finished.
"What do you think?" I ask her, wanting her approval.
She examines it for a while, and I'm worried that it's insulted her. Of course it has, she probably hates it and thinks I'm a terrible artist—
"It's beautiful, Peeta," she says, interrupting my thoughts.
Her eyes are gazing into mine, and I can't help but smile. "Thanks," I say.
"Let's play a game!" she says suddenly.
"Okay…" I mumble, not sure what kind of game she has in mind. Katniss jumps up and grabs my hand, leading me to the edge of the roof where the force field is. She tells me the rules of her game—one of us throws an apple into it and the other person has to catch it. It seems kind of silly, but of course I agree. She throws first, and the apple shouts back way above my head.
"Not fair, you threw high on purpose!" I say, teasing her.
"Of course not, you just can't catch."
"Mhmm. My turn!" I announce.
I throw it, intentionally too low, but she catches it anyway.
"See what I mean, Peeta?" She laughs, and pushes my arm.
"Yeah, yeah." Laughing and playing like this, it's easy to forget about the future, to not worry about the things to come—and I do.
After the sun ascends higher into the afternoon sky, we lie back on the blankets, with Katniss' head resting on my lap as she fiddles with flowers. I undo the braid in her hair and run my fingers through it.
"What're you doing?" she asks, noticing the movement.
"Just practicing my knots," I say nonchalantly. "You expect me to go into this arena unprepared?"
She doesn't comment, still dabbling with the flowers.
I think about how perfect the day is, this moment. Running my fingers through her hair, without a care in the world. All I want is for it to never end.
"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here right now, and live in it forever," I say, voicing my thoughts.
She freezes up suddenly, and I know it wasn't the right thing to say. I was too caught up in the fact of having her here beside me to realize that she doesn't care about me that way—will never. Stupid, Peeta. Stupid.
"Okay."
I look at her, surprised by her response. She does care? I'm smiling as I ask, "Then you'll allow it?"
"I'll allow it."
It just adds to the perfection of it all.
I go back to concentrating on playing with her hair. She falls asleep, and after a while I start noticing the assortment of colors, gathering into the sky. The color is beautiful, the perfect definition of sunset.
"Katniss?" I whisper.
"Mmm?"
"Just thought you should see the sunset."
She's awake now, noticing the bright colors that make a fiery explosion across the Capitol sky.
"Thanks." We sit there, just peacefully watching the day transform into night.
"They haven't gotten us for dinner," says Katniss, and I notice too. It's nice.
"I'm glad. I'm tired of making everyone around me so miserable. Everybody crying. Or Haymitch…" I think of all the things Haymitch does, from drinking, to yelling, to saying crazy things. She seems to understand what I mean.
Once the stars are out, shinning bright in the darkness, and the Capitol citizens have gone to bed, leaving the city in a quiet slumber, we head back to Katniss' room, back to reality, away from the dream and into the nightmare. I curl up next to her, and Katniss falls asleep immediately. I lie awake, thinking of how unfair it all is. How the beautiful moments end so quickly, leaving us in the dull, dark, hopeless world we live in.