Dominick the Donkey
A Major Crimes Fanfiction
It was a quiet afternoon in the Major Crimes squad room, just a few days before Christmas. Christmas decorations festooned windows and doorways, and Provenza was showing his spirit for the holidays by wearing a Santa hat. Sanchez, Sykes, and Tao were working on paperwork at their respective desks, and Provenza was leaning back in his chair throwing a bean bag in the air and catching it, presumably to help his thinking process. Tao had Christmas music playing softly on his computer as background noise for everyone. A new song came on, with a jingling of bells. The seeming normality of the song was quickly shattered with the entrance of a tuba. Sanchez, without moving his head, raised his eyes from his computer screen to look at Tao.
Hey! Jing-a-di-jing HEE HAW HEE HAW
Its Dominick the Donkey
Jing-a-di-jing HEE HAW HEE HAW
The Italian Christmas Donkey!
By this time Amy had slowly swiveled around in her chair to stare at Tao, who was looking back with a baffled expression on his face. Provenza just looked heavenward with a world-weary expression on his face, bean bag still in his hand.
Sanchez was the first to speak.
"Tao, what the hell is that?"
Tao frowned and looked down at his computer.
"Dominick the Donkey. Sung by … Lou Monte?"
Meanwhile, the song continued.
Santa's got a little friend, his name is Dominick!
The cutest little donkey, you'll never see him kick.
When Santa visits his Paesans, with Dominick he will be,
Because the reindeer cannot climb the hills of Italy!
As the chorus repeated, Amy began to shake her head.
"I thought I had heard every Christmas song by this point in my life, but this is ..." she paused in thought, then ended with, "I have no words."
By this point, Provenza had his face in his hands, which were propped up by his elbows on his desk, bean bag discarded.
"God, I hate this song."
It was amidst the stunned disbelief hanging in the squad room that Flynn entered from the break room. Seconds later, he was beaming broadly as he made his way to his desk.
"Hey! Its Dominick!" he said in an Italian accent, sitting himself in his chair and propping his feet up on the desk. He began to tap his toe to beat, followed by his right hand, which began swaying back and forth. As the second verse started, his head joined the swaying motion and a goofy expression came over his face.
Jingle Bells around his feet and presents on the sled.
Hey look at the Mayor's derby, on top of Dominick's head!
A pair of shoes for Louis and dress for Josephine;
The label on the inside says they're made in Brook-a-leen!
"You know this song?!" Tao asked, clearly surprised, as the braying chorus repeated yet again.
"Of course! This is a classic – we listened to it every Christmas when I was a kid. My parents were first generation Italian-American, and adored Lou Monte." Flynn replied jovially, still keeping time with his various body parts.
"I wouldn't advertise that." Sanchez muttered, almost under his breath. Flynn ignored him, but Provenza gave Sanchez a smirk.
"I suppose it does have a certain … appeal. I can see how it could grow on you." Skyes put in, haltingly. Sanchez and Provenza both gave her an incredulous look.
The song had reverted to Italian lyrics at this point, and was concluding with continuous braying. Tao grimaced and squinted his right eye as if in pain. Sanchez rubbed the bridge of his nose and Provenza returned his face to his hands. Sykes began to frown.
"Or not," she concluded.
Flynn clapped his hands, saying "Hey! Dominick!" again in an Italian accent, and ending with jazz hands.
Provenza looked up in time to catch the jazz hands and scowled at him.
"I worry about you, Flynn," he said.
"Whatever," Flynn said, returning to an upright position with his feet on the ground. "You all suck."
And with that, he moved the mouse to wake up his screen, going back to his paperwork. Tao turned back to his screen and then turned the radio program off, worried about what they might choose to play next. Sykes and Sanchez returned to their paperwork as well. For a few minutes, everyone worked in companionable silence. And then a low, feminine hum broke the silence. Sanchez lifted his eyes once more, this time to look at Amy Skyes in subtle horror.
"Sykes!" Provenza yelled.
Sykes gave a little jump, apparently not aware of what she had been doing. She looked a little sheepish, while Flynn looked on in amusement.
"I'm sorry! It's catchy," she said. Tao gave her a considering look that could be taken as agreement.
Flynn gave them all a triumphant look, as if to say, "See? It's not just me," then returned to work. Provenza groaned and rolled his eyes. Sanchez gave Sykes one last disbelieving look and then hung his head, as if in shame on her behalf. Tao gave her a sympathetic look, then asked the room,
"Any requests?"