Hey, naniek here and I have actually written something out instead of just thinking about it! Yeah me! I have been reviewing others' stories at this site for years, so I guess it was time...Anyway heard this song and thought it would be perfect to reflect Faye's feelings at the end of the series. I felt the need to contribute to one of the very first animes I ever watched, and I always wanted Faye and Spike together... Anywayz read and review please-this may or may not be a one shot.
Disclaimer: If I owned Cowboy Bebop there would have been some kind of epilogue and no death of Spike. The song is "Lost" and belongs to Little Big Town. This song was written by one of the members whose husband died, so I mean no disrespect using it and fully understand her feelings in this song.
"Lost"
The door opened an hour before closing, and the bartender glanced up from wiping out a glass shock and awe registering on his face at the beauty that had just walked in. Not many people as young as her ever came into his bar as they thought it was outdated, and definitely not women who were as striking and statuesque as a model. She had purple hair, green eyes, creamy skin and a thin, voluptuous body. She had a yellow headband on, yellow hotpants, white boots, and a man's wrinkled yellow dress shirt.
She strolled in and plopped onto a barstool. The bartender went over to her and asked, " What can I get ya?"
"Double shot of scotch on the rocks," she answered keeping her head down.
He brought her the drink and whistled between his teeth at how haggard her face looked up close. She had dark circles under her eyes, bloodshot eyes obviously from crying, and she had tear tracks down both cheeks. He felt fatherly affection towards her, and wondered what could have happened to the poor girl.
He felt compelled to ask, "Are you alright?"
She nodded at first then shook her head and gave a hollow, broken laugh.
He left it at that sensing that she did not want to talk about it, and walked away to serve another customer.
Faye took a sip of her drink as she looked around. The place was barely shy of being a dump. But the fact that it was dark, gloomy, and pretty silent except for the radio set on an oldies station suited her mood perfectly. She had left the Bebop shortly after Spike had left, needing to get away from the place that seemed to be saturated with his presence, which was hours ago now. She had been aimlessly wandering the streets of Mars til she came upon this place and decided to enter.
She finished her drink, and the bartender poured her another. She started actually listening to the radio, recognizing some of the songs when a song from 2005 came on.
I don't know who I am
Staring at the million broken pieces here
I don't know where I stand
While I'm still the world goes round so free, so cavalier
And aimlessly I wander like a drifter on a narrow winding road
I've got plenty of direction
But I don't know where to go
Tears started pouring down her face, as she realized how true that was. She remembered her past but it didn't do any good since everything she had known was destroyed. For three years she wandered the galaxy, until she found a place to call home and people to claim as family. Now that was all destroyed by one who couldn't ever let go and escape his place.
I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself
Sobs started to rack her body. She cried for her past, her families of long ago and the more recent dysfunctional one, the arguements, the fond nicknames, for him. The bartender looked over at her with concern and again asked if she was all right. She couldn't answer.
I know it don't seem right
This canyon of lonely lying in my bed
Lord how I've cried
A waterfall of tears til my eyes turn red
And ever since you left me
It's been like a bullet through my heart
And I know I should move on
But I don't know where to start
She started crying even harder. Heart, gut wrenching sobs escaped her throat. She remembered another drunken night lying in his arms. The one and only time she ever felt complete. She remembers feeling safe, finally home, at peace, a sense of belonging, and loved. Then came morning and it was like nothing had happenned. They went back to arguing as usual and never mentioned it again. A few days later he went on his stupid suicide mission.
I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself
She really felt lost, so she let herself become angry and screamed, "That stupid Lunk-head!!"
And ever since you left me
It's been like a bullet through my heart
And I know I should move on
But I don't know where to start
The bartender was startled at the first words she had spoken, err screamed since she ordered her drink. He pushed a glass of water toward her and held out a handkerchief. After glowering at him for a second, Faye accepted both with a small smile.
I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost without you
Baby I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself
I'm so lost without you
I'm so lost
Baby I'm so lost without you
That I can't find myself
Faye wiped her face and blew her nose and downed the water. She decided to go back to the only family she had left. With her eyes still swimming with unshed tears, she felt compelled to go offer some meagre comfort to her father figure on the Bebop who had essentially lost a son today.
As she walked out of the bar she was feeling a little better, a little less lost, and she knew life would go on some how, some way.
See ya, space cowgirl!!
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Okay tell me what ya think! I know it is nowhere near the best, but I don't think it's too horrible. I do have ideas on how to continue this, but it can also stand by itself.
Jaa ne!!