Authors Note: This is what I think would happen if you locked some of the craziest Johnny Depp characters in one room. Now, let's see what goes on in my crazy mind, shall we?
A frightened young man is curled up in the corner of the room. It's Ichabod Crane. He's absolutely terrified of the man sitting at the table with scissors for hands.
Ichabod Crane: Sir, may I, um, ask what is the matter with your hands?
Edward Scissorhands:(Looks up, nervous)They were never finished.
Ichabod takes one more look at the scissors and starts rocking back and forth. Across the room a scary looking man with a white stripe in his hair is offering a drunken pirate a shave.
Sweeney Todd: Surely sir, you need a shave(He holds up his razor for the pirate to see.)
Jack Sparrow: Oi! Keep that bloody thing away from me!(He staggers backwards)
Sweeney: Sit, sir, sit.(He takes Jack by the shoulder and shoves him in a chair)
Jack: I said I don't need a shave! Not now, not ever.
Sweeney: (Presses razor to Jack's throat) Trust me, sir, this'll be the closest shave you'll ever have.
Felling the cold, sharp metal pressing against his throat, Jack passed out. Sweeney sighed and gave up.
Mort Rainey: "...Todd Downey said, helping himself to another ear of corn from the steaming bowl..." (He looks up at Willy Wonka)
Willy Wonka: That's nice. Here, try an everlasting gobbstopper! You can suck on it and suck on it and it will never get small! (He shoves it in Mort's mouth)
The Mad Hatter: 'Scuse me, but could you tell me why a raven is like a writing desk?
Mort: No, you madman, I cannot! You've already asked me that question! (He grabs his shovel and starts chasing the Hatter around the room)
Absolute chaos ensues. Mort chases the Mad Hatter around the room; Ichabod's curled up in a fetal postion staring at Edward's hands; Jack Sparrow woke up and Sweeney is still trying to slit his throat; and Willy Wonka's sitting in a chair eating chocolate and mumbling about how everything in this room is eatable.
Well, there you have it! Hope you like it. It was my first attempt at a crossover/parody. Please R&R.