"Guys!" Sirius yelled, running to the Gryffindor table in the great hall, late for breakfast.
"What?" James asked, his mouth full.
"The girls-ran-died-I almost-" he was gasping for breath.
"Our best beater," James muttered. "And he can't even handle a little run."
"Now, what about the girls?" Remus asked.
"They talk about us!" he announced, finally catching his breath.
"Yeah, we knew that," James said.
Sirius shook his head. No, it's worse. They talk about everything."
Frank Longbottom, who had heard the conversation, said, "Everything? Meaning…?"
"Meaning, the things we do in private when we're with them that we don't even tell each other. They talk about how good we are at kissing!"
Everyone gasped in shock. "They do not!" James cried desperately.
Just then Lily, Alice, Andromeda, Sarah, and Julia walked into the Great Hall, giggling.
"Oh no," James groaned. "Wait, how did you find out about this?" he asked Sirius.
"I heard things," Sirius said, his voice solemn, shivering as if he was now scarred for life.
"What sort of things?" asked a seventh year named Daniel, who happened to be dating Sirius's cousin Andromeda.
"I heard Lily say that James is a really great kisser," he said, sounding disgusted. James looked smug. "But that he's really arrogant." That wiped the smile off his face. "Andromeda said that Daniel gets really possessive. Alice said that Frank's really romantic. And Sarah and Julia were arguing over who they think I'm gonna ask to the upcoming Halloween ball." Sirius looked smug.
"How did you hear all that!?" Frank asked, confused.
"I was in the common room, and I heard them coming in. I grabbed the invisibility cloak and hid behind a couch. Then, as soon as they weren't looking, I bolted. I was afraid of what else I might hear."
All the guys looked at each other helplessly as the girls came to sit by them.
"Hi James," Lily said, then laughed. James looked at Sirius.
Andromeda moved as if to kiss Daniel, but at the last moment, he moved, and she looked at him, shocked.
"Possessive, huh?" he asked.
She laughed. "How did you know I said that?"
"None of your beeswax!" Sirius cried. All the girls looked at each other, and said, simultaneously, "Sirius."
"Well, you are very possessive," Andromeda said. "But that's not always a bad thing."
"But how can you guys talk about us like that!?" Frank cried.
"You guys don't?" Alice asked, a confused expression on her face.
"Of course not!" Remus nearly yelled at her.
"Well, that's just what we do. You know, when we're painting our nails and stuff. We talk about guys," Julia explained.
All the guys groaned simultaneously.