Okay so this probably isn't very coherent, but if I don't post it now then I never will. Hope you enjoy this mess.
Disclaimer: characters are JK Rowlings.
James Potter gave Sirius Black a great deal of advice during the ten years of their friendship. He was always spewing it at him, wanted or not. Sometimes it was trivial, like how best to wear his hair that day, or what kind of bird he should transfigure Severus Snape's goblet into. The important James Potter Advice often came during altercations with his brother or any other of the Blacks, or when another cruel letter from his mother arrived. Sirius truly treasured the advice his best mate gave him and would carry it with him always. He looked back on it, or at least tried to, in the trying times that came after James' death.
But he never repeated it. No, no.
James' advice was often specifically tailored to the situation, or contained a great many analogies that anyone outside their friend group (The Marauders, they were known as) would never understand. Plus, Sirius always felt territorial over James and what his friends and family – Potters, not the Blacks – gave to him. It belonged to him, and only him.
There was also the simple fact that Sirius Black did not give advice. It was a distinct character trait of his, or so he liked to believe. He attributed it to wanting people to make mistakes and learn from them. It was only fair that if he had to, others should too. But what it really came down to was that Sirius Black was scared his advice would be more harm than good, proven by the one time he told his brother Regulus to write a joke about being old on their father's birthday card and he ended up with a sprained wrist and black eye.
James Potter's advice was something he would always remember and appreciate about his late best friend, but James did not give him the advice that would always pop into his brain during his imprisonment in Azkaban, the numerous encounters with Dementors and his short freedom, wanted or not.
No, no. That was Lily Evans.
Sirius had been in the common room, towards the end of their sixth year, after possibly the worst thing he'd ever done in his life.
The room was empty as it was just after 4.30am. Sirius and James had returned from the Headmaster's office an hour before, but James was too angry and annoyed to even glance at his best mate and so had stormed straight upstairs. Sirius remained in front of the fire with his head in his hands. He hoped that if for some odd reason someone would pass through the common room then, they would not notice that he was crying.
Unfortunately for him, they did.
"Sirius?" Her voice was groggy from sleep, and she wore a fluffy pink bathrobe over her pyjamas with matching bunny slippers. Lily's hair was tied up and her hand rubbed tiredly at her eyes as she shuffled towards the young Black. "What are you… doing down here at this… time? You should be in… bed." Lily yawned several times as she spoke, then noticed, "Wait, are you crying? What's wrong?" She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
By this time, Lily had become good friends with all the marauders over the past year, and the friendship between the two Gryffindors in the common room was another thing Sirius was grateful for. He was also grateful for the fact that she had figured out that Remus Lupin was a werewolf and the marauders had devised a plan to help him out some months ago, only finding out about the animagi part of the equation after she confronted them. And so, with some hesitance and not meaning to do it, he told her what had happened.
How he had told Snape how to get into the tunnel at the Whomping Willow in an impulsive and stupid plan, risking the Slytherin's life and his best friend's secret identity. How James had to save Snape, and thus risking his own life. The fight afterwards. How Dumbledore and McGonagall had reprimanded him and James (mostly Sirius though) for hours and Snape was in the hospital wing. How horribly he felt and how he knew this was the end of the friendship that had saved him many times from many things.
At the end, there was a pause. Lily remained silent, most likely processing the new information and deciding how to react. Sirius was quiet, as he had just remembered the words James had spoken during the argument. You're no better than the rest of your family, Black.
It had been a low blow and was, unknown to Sirius, not actually believed by James but had just been said out of anger, but the blow had hit its mark. After all, he risked someone he truly loved and cared about being discovered, shunned and possibly imprisoned. And so, Sirius spoke without meaning to for the second time that night:
"What if he's right? What if I belong with the Death Eaters? What if I've become… bad?" He was crying again. Lily looked up, then kneeled in front of him as she took his hands.
"Look at me," She ordered, in a soft yet stern voice. It reminded him of Euphemia Potter. When Sirius did not comply, the redhead repeated herself, "Hey, look at me." When grey eyes met green she continued, "You and James are very close, and because of that you share a lot of traits. One of them is the inability to think before doing something. James did not mean what he said, just like you didn't mean to hurt anyone with what you did."
Sirius sniffed and began to protest but she hushed him, "It was a stupid mistake, and one that you will pay for. It wasn't smart. It won't just go away. But it is not the end of the world. Remus will get over it, James will get over it, Peter will get over it and even Severus will move on eventually." He scoffed but did not speak up. He retracted one of his hands from her grasp to wipe his eyes, but the hands were quickly joined once more.
"Your optimism will get you hurt one day, Evans." Lily gave him a small smile and a gentle squeeze, but it meant so much to him. Lord knows he didn't deserve it, but Lily Evans was just as compassionate as usual even after he committed a horrible sin.
He supposed she must have understood that the sin was the result of a long and painful few months that had involved the death of one of his only relatives that didn't scorn him, Regulus becoming visibly more interested in the dangerous sub-movement of budding Death Eaters in Hogwarts and the series of threats he received from said budding Death Eaters. There was also the two attacks that had been made on Sirius, and the three he was wrongfully accused of. These factors did not excuse what he had done, no. He knew that. But they explained some of his reasoning behind his actions.
"Listen very carefully, Sirius, because I will not say this again. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. You understand?" Lily was staring at him with such an intensity that her words gave him hope. "You're human, and humans make mistakes. Okay, yes, this was quite a big one, but this doesn't define who you are."
There was another long pause, and their grip on each other's hands grew tighter. Offhandedly, as though this were a side note and something that was seemingly obvious to her, "Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
For the years to come, Sirius would never remember what happened after that except for the fact that she was right, as always. The other Marauders eventually forgave him, and things went – mostly – back to normal.
Looking back, it was that night that Sirius realised that Lily Evans was a part of his new, growing and not-blood-related family.
Eighteen years later, Lily and James' son stood before him, uttering almost the exact same words Sirius had, "What if I'm becoming bad?" The young wizard's eyes were so much like his mother's, and so lost. Harry was looking for guidance, reassurance, advice. And while Sirius was so touched that Harry had come to him for it, and while he was uniquely qualified in this situation, he thought that this was the time that Harry needed his mum most. As Lily was not currently… available herself and there was no means of contacting the dead that he knew that didn't end in more deaths, he gave Harry what he could. He grabbed him by the shoulders so Harry was forced to look in his eyes – grey meeting green once more – and gave him her words.
"I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry. You're not a bad person. You're a very good person, who bad things have happened to. You understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
You would have been such a good mum, Lils, he mused as he hugged Harry, you're not even here and your advice is still so damn accurate.
Tell me what you think, or don't. Whatever.