The date is March 2015, Christian didn't come back from Barcelona before the wedding, which went ahead without a hitch. Syed struggled but managed to make his marriage work, built his business, be respected – but found fulfilling his dreams brought him little happiness and led him to a point of crisis. Please R&R.

Chapter 1

"What about Masood, Syed Masood?"

"Well," said the doctor, "Physically he is fit enough to be discharged, he is going to need further physio for his legs, but there is no lasting damage from the beating. His mental health is more worrying, we know he has tried to commit suicide once, what are the opinions as to whether he will try again?"

The social worker cleared his throat. "The patient has not been very forthcoming, from his possessions we have managed to piece together some information. He is married with two children lives in Walford. We contacted his wife but she wants nothing to do with him, so we tried his mother, but she denied even having a son by that name. We spoke to work colleagues, but he was spectacularly fired as General Manager about a month ago, the boss also happens to be his father in law. It would appear he has been living in B&B's since then."

"So he has no home to go to, I don't think it is safe to discharge him at present, can you arrange some sort of temporary supervised accommodation quickly? Perhaps we should ask the psychiatrist to speak to him again. Has he had any visitors?"

"None" responded the Charge Nurse "he turned away the hospital chaplain, who guessed he was Muslim, brought in a local Imam – but he wouldn't talk to him either. The only person he has said more than a couple or words is the student nurse on the ward. He said she reminded him of another Lucy he once knew."

"Well cultivate that relationship – we need to find some way to get through to him."

The handover meeting finished and each went their separate ways.

"Student Nurse Watson."

"Yes Charge Nurse."

"I want you to spend a little time with Masood, try and get him to talk to you."

Lucy smiled, that was no chore, and she liked Syed. He was no bother at all, he wasn't demanding like some of the other patients and though his eyes were sad, there were also gentle and he seemed to appreciate even little acts of kindness.

"Breakfast" she chirped "I've got toast, scrambled eggs, tea and orange juice."

"I'm really not hungry." Said Syed.

"Don't care what you want – I care about what you need, and you need sustenance, so I am not leaving until you eat something."

Syed looked at Lucy, she had a quiet determination in her eyes so he sat up and toyed with the food on the plate making an attempt to eat.

"So who is the Lucy I remind you of then?"

"Oh she was just the niece of a ... a friend I once had. I haven't seen either of them for years now."

"Were you fond of her?"

"Well yes, and no. She was a typical stroppy teenager; she meant well but sometimes had a funny way of showing it."

"So she was fond of you then?"

"No actually, she was fond of her Uncle, she thought I was mean to him so she didn't like me."

"Were you?"

"What?"

"Mean to him?"

"Not intentionally." He pushed the plate away "I really can't eat any more."

"Where are they now?"

Syed shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, lay back and feigned sleep. Lucy cleared away determined to try again later.

Lucy. He hadn't thought of her in years, he had been so angry with her for blackmailing him. All she was trying to do was make him commit – it was a vain attempt, an impossible task, at a time in his life of great turmoil, anxiety, stress – and yet the closest glimpse of happiness that he had ever had. A happiness he had driven away, no that he had held in his hands and let slip through his fingers. Funny for all that had happened over the last four weeks they still didn't compare to the tumultuous time with him, with Christian.

Now he had thrown away everything he once dreamed of, yet he didn't feel even half the pain that he had felt watching Christian get into that taxi and drive out of his life. In fact right now he didn't feel anything other than a resignation that he was destined to be an outsider for the rest of his life, that and a relief that he no longer had to pretend.

For a moment he allowed himself to think of Christian, where was he, how was he? He hoped he had managed to bounce back, to find happiness in his life – and he cursed himself for breaking such a good heart.