A Clichéd Story.
Disclaimer: I do not own KKM!
Author Notes: Don't even ASK what this is because I myself have no idea! Just read on. Oh and Review criticizing me. This is the parodies of parodies.
Wolfram von Belfield, the ex- prince, was standing outside. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining brightly. Yuri was standing in front of him. Wolfram's honey colored hair shone in the bright sunshine forming a halo around his head. It reminded Yuri of Buddha. With hair of course. His stunning, gorgeous, fantastic eyes which were similar to emeralds sparkled brighter than the vampires he had read about in 'Twilight'.
Wolfram smiled.
"Ahhh! I'm blinded." A random soldier screamed as he made the mistake of looking at the young mazuko at that exact moment. Luckily the young monarch managed to close his eyes in time. No one wanted a blind king after all.
When he felt it was safe he slowly opened his eyes. He noticed that the entire castle guards as well as maids were openly staring at Wolfram. Yuri felt a feeling in him THAT WAS NOT JEALOUSY.
"Wolframmm!" He hollered unnecessarily even though he was standing only a few meters away from the beautiful and stunning Mazuko. As the blonde looked at him he smiled his usual goofy smile. "I forbid you from smiling." He commanded the goofy smile still on his face as he scratched his head.
Now, the one thing WE would expect Wolfram to do is call Yuri a wimp and then proceed to chase him around the castle with a fireball in his hands. But since this is a parody of all parodies that won't happen. Wolfram did have a Mary-Sue reputation to keep after all.
So instead of doing the above mentioned things his big, dinner plate sized gorgeous, stunning, fantastic, brilliant, sparkling emerald eyes brimmed with tears like the time he thought Yuri was never going to come back after defeating Shousho. Though this time it was more dramatic of course.
"Ahhh Yuriiiii..." He wailed, oddly resembling Günter as he did so, as he fell to his knees. "I will ALWAYS love you even if you don't return my feelings and I will always listen to your commands no matter how wimpy or stupid they are cause I'm a Mary-Sue!" He declared as he bowed on the ground. More like groveled.
Yuri merely had a goofy smile on his face. "Wolfie-chan! I will never love you cause on Earth this kind of relationships are weird and even if my mother and rest of my family accepts you I will continue to deny my feelings cause I am a naive, dense, idiotic wimp. At least I will continue to deny until someone bangs me on my head and I SUDDENLY realize that I've been in love with you since I first saw you." Yuri finished as he punched his fist in the air.
The maids, soldiers and castle guards clapped enthusiastically.
Suddenly a girl appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She was hawt. Her bubble gum pink hair reached until her knees and she also had bright blue eyes that resembled sapphires. Her skin was flawless and she had looooooooong eyelashes. Her nose was small and cute while her mouth smiled constantly to reveal rows of shining white teeth. But she was less hawt than Wolfram of course.
But she had a vagina and that's all Yuri cared about. He got down to his knees and asked, "My dear lovely Lady... Whose-Name-I-Don't-Know-And-Don't-Care-About-Cause -You-Have-A-Vagina-And-Thats-All-I-Care-About-But- I-Will-Anyway-Leave-You-For-Wolfie-Later-In-The-St ory, Will you marry me?" He proposed as the soldiers gasped and maids fainted. If Guinness Book of World Records existed in this world then they would get the price of the largest collective gasp and fainting spell in the world- I mean across all the dimensions.
The girl just giggled. It was like the sound of wind chimes. "Oh yes Your Majesty." She whispered her voice similar to honey. Then they both skipped toward the Castle.
On the other hand, Wolfram just stood there in shock forgotten by everyone. At least he was forgotten until he let out an anguished cry that would put a banshee to shame. It broke the heart of every person in the Kingdom. Except Yuri and his bride. Oh and Günter too because his heart was already broken when he heard that his precious MAJESTY had found a bride that was not him.
Since today seemed to be the day when people appear magically out of nowhere, Anissina decided to do the same. She appeared out of thin air. All the people who had even a bit of maryuko ran away. In fear of course. So the only maryuko filled person nearby was Wolfram, who was curled up in a ball, looking strangely like Bella in New Moon when Edward left her. In other words a zombie. He was also trying to slash his wrist. With his teeth. Which is more stupid than it sounds.
Anissina glanced at him and smiled a truly evil smile. Letting out an evil of the evilest laughs that put all the evil villains evil laugh to shame.
"I found a guinea pig!" She declared loudly for the whole Shin Makuko to hear. And then everyone in Shin Makuko let out a collective sigh. Another possible world record.
As Anissina dragged Wolfram towards her lab he struggled against her. Not because he was afraid of the things that he would find there but because he wanted to go back to imitating Bella. In other words being a suicidal emo.
"No. You are coming with me." Anissina grinned. "I think you would like what I am going to show you. It has something to do with winning your loved ones heart." At that Wolfram stopped struggling as his eyes started sparkling and imaginary stars floated around him.
They reached her lab. "This is Make-Me-A-Girl-anator." She introduced her machine that looked like a lie detector chair. "It will give you a vagina and that means you will turn into a girl. Then you can make His Majesty to fall in love with you." If Wolfram was stupid before than whatever small amount, by small I mean MICROSCOPIC amount of, common sense that was present had fled as soon as he saw Anissina's invention.
"Oh yes!" He gushed as his fantastic, stunning, gorgeous, pretty emerald eyes sparkled at the thought of Yuri loving him. Even if he had to sacrifice his pride and dignity. That is, if he had any left.
So he sat on the invention and allowed the coughbrilliantcough scientist to do the work.
Dinner Time:
Yuri was smiling his goofy smile as usual as the readers (if there are any) as well as the author wondered if the smile is plastered to his face.
His bride to be sat next to him in Wolfram's usual place. Gunter, on the other side of Yuri, was dabbing his nose with a tissue. He still hadn't recovered form the fact that his precious King was marrying someone that wasn't him.
Conrart was pushing his food around his plate with a gentle smile on his face. Fir some weird, unknown reason, he was dressed up as his alter ego, Blue Wind. Gwendal had his usual grumpy expression as his face sagged down with the amount of wrinkles that made him look like a bull dog.
Yozak was dressed up as a maid as usual and was serving others food. Greta was not there cause she is of no importance in the story. Lady Cheri was sitting and flirting with any male present. Including her sons. Murata was sitting quietly a know-it-all smirk on his face as his glasses glinted mysteriously.
The only people not present were Wolfram and Anissina. But nobody really cared. But as the wrote goes 'Think about the Devil and the Devil shall appear.'
Anissina banged open the door. Everyone's head snapped towards her. Her grinned stretched from one ear to the next. Everyone shivered.
"I present you... Wolfie von Belfield. The advanced version of Mary-Sue." She introduced as she stepped aside to allow 'Wolfie' to enter. Now all of you might be thinking that Wolfram has been turned into a girl. But we are talking about ANISSINA'S inventions. There is bound to be something wrong with it.
Everyone gasped. Wolfram's hair reached up to his- er, her- waist now. She/he put bright red lipstick and wore an old black dress of Lady Cheri that accentuated his curves. And he had a VAGINA.
But... The real reason everyone gasped was... There were cat ears protruding from his head as well as whiskers on his cheeks. Not to mention a white tail. And when Wolfram opened his mouth instead of words or Yuriiiii a 'meow' was uttered. Lady Cheri squealed loudly, successfully bursting Gwendal's ear drums.
Looking at Wolfram Yuri gasped. He had never ever ever in his whole useless life seen anyone more beautiful as the kitty girl in front of him. Ignoring his bride to be, he got down to his knees and asked, "My dear Wolfram, Wolfie-chan, the-boy-turned-kitty-girl, I love you! Will you marry me?"
Wolfram just gasped dramatically. He hugged Yuri and screamed, "Meowwwww!" Rose petals fell from the roof and fireworks lit the sky.
They married and lived happily ever after.
THE END!
Author Notes: So this sums up everything I hate in a Yuuram fan fiction. Yuri falling in love with another lady is possible but cliché. And Wolfram turning into a girl is the most stupid idea. I also hate Twilight as you might have noticed.