Pact
Author's Note~ Let me start this off by saying that I've never been particularly fond of Santana. I think she's a manipulative bully who undeservedly gets worshiped because she's a hot lesbian. However, I have found myself really liking the Kurtana/Kurcheltana dynamic, but that might be just because Chris, Naya, and Lea all have amazing chemistry together.
This is a fill-in-the-blank for 4.17, when Santana was magically their room mate again, with no explanation. (Gotta love that continuity.)
Disclaimer~ If Glee belonged to me, it would actually be good. Therefore, I don't own it.
Kurt walked through the bar, grimacing in disgust at the smell of alcohol and sweat. He rolled his eyes when he caught a few waitresses in their scanty so-called 'uniforms'. Did they really need to give men another chance to make jackasses out of themselves? The glares he was receiving for blocking their 'view' was answer enough. He gave them frosty stares until they looked down at their table sheepishly. Focus on the mission, Kurt. Don't focus on the men or the barely covered women. He stalked up to the bar.
"What can I get for you, cutie?" a girl with a spray tan asked. She looks like she got colored with an orange crayola marker, and that hair? Obviously fake. HIs makeover instincts were kicking in. He shook himself out of it.
"Yes, I'd like to speak to Santana Lopez," he said politely, trying to smile, but it came out more as a grimace. She frowned in disappointment.
"Sure, I'll get her," she sighed. He could've sworn he heard a muttered "Bitch always gets the hot ones" but figured he probably just didn't get enough sleep.
"Hey there. You lost?" He almost jumped at the high-pitched voice. It was a small girl, smaller than Rachel even, with a bad dye job and a nose ring.
"Ahh no," he said with detached interest, "I'm waiting for my friend." She beamed excitedly, which made him furrow his brows in confusion.
"Well," she asked coyly, "do you mind if I keep you company?" Keep him company? What the hell?
"I...guess not?" he said unsurely. She sat in the chair next to him and batted her eyelashes.
"So..." she started awkwardly, "do you have a girlfriend?" He gave her an incredulous look, but she didn't seem to notice, smiling at him earnestly. Was she...flirting with him?
He chuckled. "Well, actually-"
"He's mine, " he heard behind him. He felt an arm loop through his, and stiffened. He looked from the corner of his eye at Santana, who was smiling poisonously at the other girl. "Find some other pathetic loser to whore yourself out to because this one," she yanked him closer, and glared daggers, "is off limits." The girl, pale as a ghost, nodded quickly and speedily walked away. Kurt wasn't sure whether he wanted to kiss her for getting him out of a potentially awkward situation, or smack her. Probably the latter, as she'd most likely dismember him if he attempted the former.
"Was that really necessary?" he sighed, removing his arm from her strong grip.
She shrugged. "If she can't tell that you're sparklier than Lady Gaga, then that's her fault."
He rolled his eyes, but she ignored him.
"So, what are you doing here, Lady Hummel? Looking for another fag hag to add into you and Berry's set of Queer as Folk?"
And...he was done being nice. "Okay, 3 things:" Kurt snapped out sassily, "1) That is offensive and uncalled for, 2) You're a bitch, and 3) Stop calling me Lady Hummel. I got enough of that crap in high school, and I don't need it in my own home, least of all from my room mate.
Santana arched her eyebrows, looking almost impressed with his outburst. Then she seemed to process what he said.
"I'm not your room mate anymore. You kicked me out, remember?" she said, slightly bitter.
Kurt sighed, "That's kind of what I came here to talk to you about."
"If you're here to ask me to move back in with you, don't bother," she said icily, "I'm perfectly happy living with my new best friend, Liza."
"Santana, do you really think I'm that stupid?" Kurt asked impatiently, "Do you think I don't know that you blackmailed Finn into buying you a hotel room because you're homeless?"
Santana's dark brown orbs widened. "He told you?"
"No, actually. You did. Just now."
"You didn't even know?"
"Oh, I did. I just wanted you to confirm it."
Santana scoffed in disgust. "You are such a bitch, Hummel."
"And a proud one," he said haughtily, "but I'm sure you can respect that, so what do you say we cut a deal? One bitch to another."
She narrowed her eyes. "I'm listening."
Kurt leaned back in his chair, a satisfied smirk on his face. "It comes to my understanding that you need a place to live, and my brother won't be able to pay for you much longer," he said airily, "and, if my source is correct, you're the reason behind Brody's black eye."
"Well, technically that was Frankenteen's fault. I never told him to beat the crap out of Plastic Man. He did that all on his own."
"You brought him here, so the blame still lies with you," Kurt retorted. Santana put her hands up in defeat.
"Anyway," Kurt continued, "despite those drawbacks, it's not within my moral values to let a friend be homeless,and-"
Santana cut him off impatiently, "Just get to the point, Porcelain. I don't have all day."
"I want to you to come back to the loft," he proposed finally. She scrutinized him, looking for any signs of malice, and when she seemed satisfied, she finally responded softly.
"What about Ken Doll?"
"By now, he should be gone."
"You do know he's a gigolo, right?" she asked slowly
Kurt rolled his eyes."Yes. I forced him to sit down and tell me when he was in a rush to pack his things."
"So, you want me to move in with you. What's the catch?"
"You can't tell Rachel about Brody.
"You want to keep this a secret from her? Why? Aren't you guys 'BFFs'?" she mocked.
"She has a 'Funny Girl' audition next week. Fanny Bryce is her dream role. She can't have any distractions or else she will choke, and if that happens, I will never forgive myself."
Santana seemed to ponder this for a second, but Kurt could tell that it was an act. "Fine," she said coolly, "Can I move in tonight?"
He smirked in satisfaction. "I thought you'd never ask."
As soon as Kurt slid the door closed, he was greeted by Rachel.
"Oh, good. You're home," she said in relief.
"Why the urgency?" he feigned innocence. "Where's Brody?"
"He-he left," she stuttered out. "Moved out, I mean."
"What? Why?"
Rachel bit her lip sadly. "He wouldn't tell me."
Kurt's eyes softened, and he said sincerely, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I know you really liked him."
"It's okay," she sighed, "I'm sure he had his reasons. It's going to be weird with the just the two of us again, though."
"I might have a solution to that."
"What do you mean?" The door started sliding open, and Rachel whipped her head around. Santana walked in sheepishly, her duffel banging against the wall.
"What's she doing here?" Rachel hissed fiercely.
"I invited her to move in with us."
"Why would you-,"
Kurt cut her off. "She needs a place to stay, and I'm not going to let a friend live on the streets."
"Friend?" Rachel scoffed, "She has done nothing but torment us since she got here!"
Santana piped in, " For the record, if your voice goes any higher, the dogs are gonna start gathering around."
Kurt sent a bitch glare, but Rachel ignored her.
"No! No way! You completely did this without even consulting me!" Rachel yelled.
"You mean kind of like how you invited your boyfriendin without consulting me?" he retorted hotly.
"I…" she paused. "That's completely different," she defended weakly.
"Yeah, you're right, it is. The difference is that we've actually known Santana for more than 6 months, and although she's a pain in the ass," he projected this last part out to Santana, who raised her hands in surrender, and Kurt turned back to Rachel, "I know that we can trust her."
"Can I say something?" Santana asked, unusually earnest, and Kurt gave her a 'go ahead' gesture. "I know that I can be a bitch, and I haven't always been very nice to either of you, but the truth is, I just..." she faltered, "I just really don't want to be alone. But, if it really bothers you that much, I'll just move in with one of my co-workers or something." She picked up her duffel, and started to slide the door open.
"Wait," Rachel called to her, and the dark-haired girl turned around, her eyes possessing a rare vulnerability that Kurt had only seen when she was around Brittany.
"You can stay until you save up the money to get your own place," Rachel said softly, but she added on haughtily, "but you have to pay a third of the rent because we can't afford 3 people."
Kurt saw relief cross over the normally hard-featured girl, but she quickly masked it with indifference.
"Deal."
A/N~ Okay, so I know all of my one-shots have pretty much been about Kurt, but he's the character I generally pay the most attention to, so I'm most comfortable with his voice. This is my first time writing for Santana, however, and I have no idea if she's even remotely IC, so I would appreciate some feedback on that.
Review, please! :D