Title: Lesbians
Alternative Titles (because I couldn't decide on a proper one): I Support Gay Marriage/It's About Love Not Gender/Haircut/Questions
My first ever oneshot.
My first ever boyxboy.
My first ever TezuFuji (albeit it being implied. XD)
My second ever fanfic.
So yes, as you can see this is going to be horribly horrible. They are also going to be horribly out of character.
But still, please read. I need all the help I can get. ;D
Thank you!
Gosh, I'm really disloyal to my favourite pairing. Imagine! Being a Thrill Pair fangirl and not writing about them for my first ever boyxboy one shot. T.T
I thought about using Ryoma instead of Tezuka, but…well. Yeah. XD
Oh, also…I just wrote this today. No beta-readers, no edit and edit, no nothing. ToT And I have loads of homework, too.
This was inspired by Catherine Tate. You know, the comedian. Man, I adore her. If you haven't heard of her, go search "Lauren Cooper wedding" or something like that on YouTube, and watch it.
I laughed my ass off and had to stick it back on with superglue.
Read the omake! It's my favourite part, and the only part I consider okayish. XD
Summary: Fuji and Tezuka engage themselves in a casual yet highly intelligent, somewhat one-sided conversation about how it's about love, not gender. Or something. "Tezuka had never been so offended in his entire life." [Implied TezuFuji Crackish.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis or any of its characters. This is merely fan-written. Prince of Tennis belongs to Konomi Takeshi-sama. (:
--
"Ne, Tezuka…can I ask you a question?" Fuji asked, his tone somewhat cautious yet amused.
Tezuka looked up briefly from the basket of tennis balls he was holding and slowed his pace. He had absolutely no idea why Fuji made him carry them back to the gym after practice. Was it because he wanted to talk?
Seriously, Tezuka thought. I should really have given up trying to figure him out by now.
Fuji seemed to hesitate, as if scared to say whatever he was about to say. Tezuka managed to offer him an encouraging look – not the normal one he used for team members when they needed a boost, definitely not. Fuji was way more special than just any team member.
No, the look he gave Fuji was one of reassurance – as if to justify he would never honestly get mad at him. How could he ever be angry at such an adorable tensai? Except when he hurts himself for the sake of other people, of course. Fuji seemed to have a habit of doing that. A hobby, even.
Fuji finally opened his mouth to speak, the corners of his lips quirking upwards as always.
And then he burst out laughing.
It was as though he couldn't breathe, let alone ask a question. Tezuka's eyebrows furrowed and knitted together in confusion. Fuji seemed a bit out of character today. Was he alright? "If it is going to be something really strange, please do not ask."
"Oh, no, certainly not, Tezuka! It's not weird and stupid at all!" Fuji said shakily as he finally regained his composure and ability of speech. "It's a very scientific and highly intelligent question."
Tezuka waited patiently with a somewhat helpless expression as Fuji calmed himself.
"Saa…Tezuka, have you undergone sexual transplantation?"
Tezuka almost dropped the basket.
"I…I beg your pardon?"
"I said, have you undergone sexual transplantation? Meaning, did you have sexual transplant? Ara, Tezuka! You can't even understand such a simple sentence?"
Tezuka tried his hardest to refrain from letting out a big, fat, confused, "WHAT! What kind of question is that? What is wrong with you!" Because that was just plain rude and vulgar. Impoliteness was something he kept away from.
Besides, although it was late in the afternoon, and school has long since ended, there were still people around the halls they were walking through, hanging around after activities. What they were doing instead of returning to there respectable homes, he did not know.
Because he really wanted that now. He craved it.
To go home, I mean.
Tezuka could feel the heat crawling up his cheeks. Why was he blushing anyway?
"Heh…Tezuka, you're not answering, and you're all red in the face! I take that as a yes…?" Fuji must really be in Sadist Mode today. He'd been grinning all this time.
"Why…why do you ask such a question?"
"Because you have a lesbian haircut. And come on, answer me!" Fuji's ever-present smile seemed to grow bigger by the second.
Tezuka sighed. "No, I have not."
"Well, you look like you have." Fuji's reply was quick, immediate.
Tezuka had never been so offended in his entire life.
Maybe Fuji really wasn't alright after all…
It was then that Tezuka realized the sadist had probably planned the whole conversation, and, as if that wasn't enough – he had no other choice but to go along with it, or Fuji wouldn't let him go.
"Well, I can assure you I have not!" Tezuka almost applauded silently to himself for coming back with such a witty reply.
Oh, but no. First ever "clever" reply to an awkward question in his life, and Fuji chooses to ignore it completely. Life sucks.
"Were you secretly in love with girls? But you were afraid of what the modern society would think, and all? And so you changed your gender in order to pursue your dreams in the so-called 'right' way? …Oh, that's why you trained so hard in tennis right! Or is it the other way round…? You were amazing at tennis, and you were scared you wouldn't be able to spread your fluffy wings further if you remained female…is that right? That's it isn't it!" Fuji seemed to be really enjoying this.
Tezuka was flabbergasted.
"…you didn't have to worry, you know! It's about love, not gender! I, for one, totally support gay marriage. Don't you think that it's just so beautiful? What's even more beautiful though, is your courage and determination. My admiration for you has grown, Tezuka. I don't think you should be so scared to face reality though. I – "
"Fuji."
And he didn't know why, but when Tezuka called Fuji's name so softly yet firmly like that, all he could do was stop and gaze at those lips, where that smooth, warm voice came from.
"Tezuka…"
"Have you been watching those idiotic shounen-ai animations again?"
Fuji snapped out of his trance. So did his eyes. Snap open, I mean. They were so blue, such a brilliant bright azure. Tezuka looked right into them.
"Anime, Tezuka," Fuji began, his tone as though more serious than ever. "Is not idiotic. Especially shounen-ai ones. They are extremely delicate and the best thing since tennis. No, nevermind that. The best thing since lesbians. Or sliced bread, or dancing hamsters. Or even those little things where there's this hand-sized toilet toy, and you open it, and a plastic poo pops out and sings. Whatever, you name it."
"Fuji…" Tezuka tried again, however this time to no avail. Fuji was apparently too caught up in explaining the beauty of anime.
"…and shounen-ai anime has really touched me and moved me! It shows that love exceeds all boundaries! As long as there's love, anything and everything is possible!" Fuji was close to punching the air in excitement.
"You are going really out of character now, Fuji. I should never have suggested that you relax a little. Then Inui would never have introduced to you that…that…thing his little cousin likes so much."
"First of all, please don't refer to the Almighty Anime as a thing! Oh and -"
And Fuji took Tezuka's hands, like that day back when they were First Years.
"No, Tezuka! I should really thank you! You made me realize the importance of love!"
Then Fuji picked up his basket of tennis balls and ran ahead.
"Hurry up, Tezuka! The school gates might be closing!" Fuji turned around and beckoned.
A tiny smile graced Tezuka's handsome features, in respond to Fuji's irresistible one.
Omake;
"Ne, Tezuka…" Fuji said, once his companion and current prank target caught up.
Tezuka stiffened. What now?
"I'm still convinced that you're a lesbian who has gone through sexual transplantation though."
Before Tezuka could sigh, however –
"But if you really were a lesbian…then I would go through sexual transplantation too. I would go through all that pain for you, and just for you, Tezuka."
Fuji took Tezuka's hand.
He blushed.
Fuji whispered, "We could be the best pair of lesbians around, and make the world jealous."
--
There. It wasn't amusing at all was it? Oh well. At least I do. Find it amusing, I mean. It's actually based on a real life true story.
Me being Fuji and going around asking people a random question like that and all. ;D And I actually had a very similar conversation as the above with the guy who sits next to me in my Japanese class. XD
I didn't put Ryoma instead of Tezuka because Tezuka's haircut is more lesbian-y, in my humble opinion. XD
Another alternative title is Sexual Transplantation, but I think that gives away too much. XD
My most humble, heartfelt and sincere apologies from the deepest oceans of my heart if you found this disturbing.
And as I wrote the story I realized it wasn't implied TezuFuji anymore. Oh well. :D It's so cheesy. XD
Please review! I know this sucks – criticism would help very much indeed. ;D