* All Twilight references and characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, all other characters, plot changes, etc are just fun things that I like to play with.

* This story is rated M for mature due to references and possibly descriptive scenes of abuse, rape, and smut.

Happy Birthday Shiloh.

I miss you so much. It's been two years now and not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here with me. I'm so sorry that I had to give you up but I couldn't keep you where you wouldn't be safe, it was the best thing for you even if the hole that is in my heart doesn't feel like it.

Love you forever, Mama

When I was finished writing my newest letter I dug the shoe box out of my suitcase and shoved the letter inside. The shoe box was almost full now, I'd have to get a bigger one soon. I sank to my hands and knees and stuck the box under my bed behind the shoes I never wore. It would be safe here, Charlie and Edward had no reason to look under my bed. I stood back up and went to my mirror to wipe the tears from my eyes, it took a few minutes but gradually my eyes dried up and I began to prepare for the day ahead of me.

"Happy Birthday Bella." Edward whispered in my ear and I jumped. No matter how many times he did it, it still took me by surprise every time he would magically appear beside me.

"Edward… don't. Please, don't mention my birthday." I pleaded with my eyes, trying not to think of the other person who's birthday was today.

"Bella, your birthday is a day worth celebrating." Edward whispered wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him.

I held back my tears and turned my head away from him.

"Please Edward, I hate birthdays, please let's just pretend it's a normal day. Besides… I don't want to be a year older than you." I smiled trying to mask the hurt that this day reminded me of.

"Alright Bella, if you wish. But be warned, Alice will not let you off so easily." I grimaced as I thought of the evil little pixie and the way she always got her way with me.

Edward left and we agreed to meet at school. I knew Charlie would want to see me and wish me happy birthday so I decided to go downstairs and make him breakfast while I waited for him to come downstairs.

Charlie had given me a new camera for my birthday and I found it amusing snapping random pictures of Charlie and around the house before I realized that I was going to be late for school. I thanked him again and then grabbed my bag and my keys making my way to the ancient truck that I loved almost as much as Edward.

When I got to school of course Edward, Jasper and Alice were waiting for me and I tried to ignore the evil grin on Alice's face as she told me about the party she was planning for that night.

"No, no parties." I had insisted but she didn't listen. She never listened and gradually I felt Jasper's influence as my resolve wavered and I rolled my eyes nodding my head in agreement to whatever it was that Alice was saying. It was settled, I would go to their house that night for a party in my honor and I would put a smile on my face and pretend that I was happy. The rest of the school day passed by in a blur as my mind was focused on the one person that I wanted to see, and I was actually surprised when the final bell rang and it was time to leave.

I raced out to the parking lot and hopped in my truck driving home as fast as I could get there.

Shiloh, I still miss you princess.

The Cullen's are throwing me a party tonight for my birthday and I can't help but wonder what your birthday party is going to be like today. I miss you and wish that we were together to celebrate. I also wish that you could meet Edward, he would absolutely love you and I know that you would win his heart instantly. I dreamt last night that we were a family… you, me, Edward. And we were happy. I hope you are happy with your family.

Love you forever – Mama

I shoved the new letter in the same shoe box and wrapped the elastic over the lid to keep all of the letters and mementos contained as I made a mental note to pick up some sort of bigger box that I could use.

When my tears had once again dried off of my cheeks I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and made Charlie supper and left it in the fridge with a note. Glancing at the clock I let out a sigh and made my way back to my truck and drove slowly out to the Cullen Mansion.

If I had known how the night would end I surely would have fought Alice harder and refused the party, but I didn't... I had always found it difficult to say no to letting Alice do something for me and this night was no exception.

Please don't get me wrong, the party was actually wonderful and I really was grateful to have the Cullen's to take my mind off of my past, a past that they didn't even know about. The entire family was there: Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and of course Edward. Finally I felt as though I was celebrating my birthday with my family. As Alice started handing me gifts I began to protest – I hate gifts. But I really didn't want to seem ungrateful so I opened them up, one by one. A necklace from Rosalie, A CD from Edward, A new truck stereo from Emmett, clothes from Alice and Jasper, and then Esme and Carlisle's.

When I went to open the small package everything happened so fast but it was also in slow motion. I cut myself on the wrapping paper giving myself a tiny paper cut. As I felt the color in my own face begin to drain, I was suddenly shoved out of the way and into a stack of glass plates that were set up by the cake. Jasper was being held back by Emmett and Carlisle, Alice was trying to calm him down. Suddenly all of the vampires in the room turned to look at me with eyes blacker than night and I looked at my arm that had a large gash and was now pouring out blood.

Carlisle was at my side in and instant and stitched me up, apologizing profusely for the way the evening had turned. When I was cleaned up, Edward drove me home. It was a silent ride and it was uncomfortable. When we got back to Charlie's house I tried to speak to him, but I knew he was upset, he blamed himself for everything and nothing that I would say would change that.

"Edward, I love you and I love your family." I said looking at my hands as we sat on my bed that night.

"I love you too Bella." He answered but his voice wasn't filled with the usual soft warmth. Instead it was far away, distant.

"Edward, it was an accident. Please stop blaming yourself, I want to be with you and I feel as though I am a part of your family. Please let's just forget what happened." I begged and tried to pull his face closer for a kiss.

"Bella no, I'm not good for you. I'm dangerous and I think you should stay away from us from now on." Edward's voice was now cold and his eyes wouldn't look at my own.

"Edward? What?" I gasped shocked at his conclusion.

"Bella, please stay away from my family and myself from now on. It's for the best." He stated and before I could reply he was gone, the curtains drifting from his hasty departure out the window.

That night I cried myself to sleep for the first time since I'd realized that I was in love with Edward Cullen.