Dress for the job you want
Chapter 1: So it begins
By Animeguera
A/N: First Supernatural fic
Dean is a liar. He had practice telling his father that both Sammy and him had enough to eat, knowing Sammy had eaten most of the food while his father was gone. He remembers teasing Rhonda Hurley about having tightest ass he's ever laid eyes on. Rhonda rolled eyes at him. Dean remembers telling Sammy that he was fine daily for three years, even though the nightmares never stopped and the voice inside his head telling him he wasn't good enough never truly died. Dean remembers adding five inches to the fish he caught everytime he found an outdoorsy girl that found that amazing. He lied constantly if he was honest with himself. He was an accidently follower of Barney Stinson's Bro Code. Lying to women so he could have sex with him was practically his default. His lies to men were unpracticed and sloppy, due to lack of experience.
He had walked over to the man with good intentions, honest good intentions to ask him out on a proper date. Dean hadn't had one in a while. He tried simple words, no lines. "So, what your name?" OR "What are you studying?"
He was sure it those blue eyes that captivated him. That strong jaw that confused his better judgement. That graveyard rough voice that spoke of theology and memorized bible verses, even a few passages of the Quran. That voice lulled him in and made him feel inadequate, so when that dark voice ask him what he did for a living, Dean could barely voice an answer. He choked on his whiskey, coughed and muttered 'mechanic' quickly. The man leaned in closer, touching his jaw to Dean's mouth, unaware of the existence of other people's personal space and quietly ask him to repeated himself.
"Movie teacher." Dean's mouth replied faster than his brain could interpret. To his credit, Castiel tried to hide his confusion. His jaw opened without consent again. "At the local college, I teach about movies." Dean said, holding his breath. That was a blatant lie and a terrible lie.
It wasn't as impressive as being a theology phd candidate at the university in Lawrence, Dean knew that. He just knew, that voice told him, that being a mechanic would make him not good enough to even talk to Castiel. He hated when that voice mocked him loudly. It was always louder when he hit on guys. He overrode that voice when he heard that rough laugh. It warmed his 's what he deserves for attempting to pick up a guy at Sammy's University. He wasn't sure what the event was even for anymore.
Castiel gave him a strange look, like he was considering whether he was telling the truth. Dean prayed to the closest thing to a God he admitted to that Castiel wouldn't doubt his profession. His extremely made up, ridiculous, worse than a bro-code profession. "That sounds intriguing, do you teach about a specific genre?"
"Horror movies." Dean breathed out. Horror movies were simple right? Monster chases girl, virgin girl lives, monster gets caught, the end. At the word horror, Castiel lit up. "I thoroughly enjoy the sixty era of movies." He smiled. Dean blanked out at the smile, he felt warmth again, pride. "The nuclear fear caused some interesting notions of monsters." Dean nodded, both hearing Castiel's words and not fully comprehending them. He dropped his voice again, Dean leaned in to listen carefully. "There's a series of classic horror films starting next month." Dean nodded, it was going to be Halloween season soon. Dean looked at Castiel, Castiel was looking over his shoulder his eyebrows furrowed. Dean finally let air into his lungs.
Before he had a chance to say another word, Castiel muttered low, "Excuse me," walking away, leaving Dean struggling to breath, reminding himself he has to breathe. He had been drowning in a sea of blue. Dean went to find his giant of a brother. He wasn't hard to spot, even in a throng of people. Not many could match his height, his head stuck out a group of older people. Two men with graying hair and an older sleight woman, two feet shorter than Sam.
Sipping his drink, Dean came up to the group, introducing himself. Sam's professors were discussing the next set of exams his brother would have to laughed, knowing those days of studying were behind him. He grasped a promise from each of them that Sam would have an extra hard test. Sam glared at Dean, while the professors had a great laugh.
"Dean, I want you to meet Professor Novak. He's teaching my theology philosophy class." Sam introduced as he pulled in a man with dark brown hair.
"What kind of class is that? Do you philosophize what God thinks about?" Sam sighed.
A rough newly familiar voice answered. "To reconcile and prove the existence of God with philosophy." He smirked at Dean. "Or disprove."
Dean's voice caught in his breath, again. He choked out a response finally. "Good luck with that." Castiel's deep laugh caught the group by surprise, they gawked at him.
"That's the first time I've heard you laugh, Professor." He just shrugged and stared at Dean hesitantly. The conversation continued as Dean stole glances at the professor who never laughed, wondering if he was going to bring up his lie to this group of people. Sam knew he was just a mechanic. The dark grease smudges under his fingernails were an obvious sign, despite how hard he scrubbed at them. Slowly, the conversation lost his interest and focus. His thoughts wandered to how worthless his job was. He wasn't a professor, he didn't have any formal education, he was nothing.
He should've let the train of thought stop. He knew the symptoms. His breathing slowed. His thoughts continued to swirl, negatively. His throat dried up. His drink was empty and he wished for some water. He excused himself as best as he could. He needed to stop thinking, he needed to stop his thoughts. He walked quickly to a corner and pulled out the paperback he kept hidden in his coat pocket. His eyes blurred but he forced himself to focus on the words. Slowly the thoughts ebbed away as words filled his mind. Dean turned the page and kept reading. The crowd fell away, the noise dropped and slowly, slowly the voice he hated dropped away as he focused on the words. Stay focused on the words.
He barely remembered having to leave as Dean read the entire book in one sitting. Sammy pulled him away as the night ended and he drove both of them home. He said nothing and let Dean read his book. Even if he had asked how Dean how he was, Dean would have lied and said he was fine.
12/26/17
-Guera-