DISCLAIMER: Just to make it clear, the NCIS/NCIS LA characters, sadly, do not belong to me... All other characters are mine and should any name sound familiar to a real person... it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not on purpose.

A/N: Hi there! Welcome to my new story. Let me tell you... this is an unintentional story. LOL I was supposed to be working on another story for a different fandom but while thinking about it...this story took root in my brain and just wouldn't let go. I will say, I'm nervous as all get out. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone a wee bit on this one. Please read it and review... As always, be kind. Be honest, but be kind. I have the whole thing just about finished... I will simply need to edit each chapter before posting and depending on reviews, I may find myself changing things once in a while. No promises on that, though. These characters truly have a mind of their own. I start writing with one intent and by the time I finish writing for the day, I read back over it and find I went an entirely different direction or someone popped into it that I hadn't intended. AWESOME! Anyway, I have put it off long enough... here goes. No, I meant you go, go read. Go read and review...

Callen was angry and at a loss. Nearly a year and a half had passed since they had assured him that there was nothing he could do that would make them turn their backs on him… until now. Now they were blaming his lone wolf tendencies as the reason Deeks lay in a coma. He wanted to try and explain but he needed to finish the case first. Regardless of his reasons, Kensi wasn't interested in hearing anything from Callen. She was too distraught to listen. Sam, who would have always at least heard him out… or would have tried to, had changed since losing Michelle. No longer the patient and centered man he once was, he was now quick tempered and moody and much less forgiving. Who could blame him? Still, he hadn't even so much as questioned the evidence. After all these years, he was too willing to assume it was merely Callen going off on his own with no concern for his partner at the time. Hetty, too, had been kept in the dark regarding the changes made to the mission at the last minute. She said little… he could see a hint of disappointment… all she said was, "truth will out in the end". He knew the Internal Affairs investigation wasn't going to help his case any… at least not for a while… not until he closed the case which was weeks away at the least. In the meant time, Deeks life still hung in the balance, Kensi was beside herself and Sam's only communication had been little more than a lecture on his inability to trust anyone… that he just couldn't seem to get past his belief that he could do it alone. Sam had all but told him that maybe it was time he do just that. That continuing on this way was too risky. He wasn't willing to lose another person in his life that he cared about.

Two weeks later and the mission was finally coming to a close. Here he sat nursing another beer. Hetty was suggesting, at this point, that he perhaps should head up another team or maybe take some of his much accrued leave. Sitting there, having lost count of just how many beers he'd had, maybe now was not necessarily the time for him to be making decisions. Truth be told… nothing would change come morning. Deeks would still be in a medically induced coma, Kensi would still hate him, Sam wouldn't trust him and Callen could once again feel the ever present sense of abandonment. He couldn't really blame them. Deeks wasn't supposed to have been hurt this badly… things didn't exactly go according to plan but when did they ever? For that reason and that reason alone, he carried the guilt that plagued him now. Guilt for what he did do and the fact that his team turned their backs on him made the choice easier than expected.

His mood didn't improve over night. Sleeping in his car would do that. Before heading home, he drove to the hospital and waited till Kensi stepped out so he could sneak in. He stood there, just watching Deeks monitors… gathering his thoughts. "Hey Marty. Can't stay long, just wanted to stop in and touch base. Things are going to be changing for the team so when you get back… Look, I tried… I had to finish the mission before I could explain… but the reality is, Marty, they don't care about the truth. Maybe they'll listen to you but it doesn't really matter anymore. You just need to get better. Kensi needs you. Take care of her, man." Callen stood looking out the window for a moment…

"You shouldn't be here, Callen", a familiar voice came from the door.

"Sam." Callen replied, turning around.

"Kensi will be back soon and you should probably not be here when she does." Sam stated… no real emotion in the words.

"I was just getting ready to leave. I wanted to stop by and see how he was doing." Callen answered somberly.

"The same. Maybe a little better. The doctor has lowered his meds to allow him to wake up, but so far nothing." Sam explained.

"Good, that's a good sign. That must be a relief for Kensi" Callen offered quietly.

"Hetty could have updated you and saved you the trip." Sam said, growing agitated with the conversation.

"I suppose, but then I haven't seen or talked to Hetty in a while." Callen stated frankly.

"Yeah, she's been busy putting out fires over this mess." Sam growled.

"Sam…seriously?" Callen asked.

"Look Callen, I'm not in the mood to rehash this. We all saw the video and read the reports." Sam crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Fine, but just one question. When did you start taking the word of some report over the word of your partner?" Callen challenged.

"When there was video of you taking off and leaving Deeks to fend for himself!" Kensi replied as she entered behind Sam. "You just can't help yourself, can you? You just have to do things on your own."

"That's not what happened, Kensi. Just give me a few days and we'll talk. You have to trust me on this." Callen started but was quickly interrupted by the nurse.

"Is everything okay in here?"

"Yes", Kensi answered, "He was just leaving, weren't you? Oh, and Callen? For the record, I don't trust you… not anymore."

Callen just stopped and looked at Kensi… He couldn't believe what was happening. He knew it was just a mission. He knew he was innocent of what had been charged against him. He knew that as soon as he finished the case they would know… but in his heart, there was no coming back from this for any of them.

"Come on G., you need to go. I'll tell Hetty to send you updates." Sam said as he opened the door to make his point.

"That won't be necessary. I won't be where I can take calls for a while." Callen answered as he stepped out into the hall.

"Let me guess. You're going to do one of your disappearing acts." Sam said sarcastically.

"Sure Sam. That's what I'm doing. You know me, selfish lone wolf tendencies." Callen stated as he turned and walked away, leaving Sam shaking his head. Despite everything, he loved Callen like his brother. Callen had been by his side ever since Michelle had been murdered. He would be forever thankful for everything he had done to help him and the kids through the hardest time in their life. This time, however, he just went too far. He left his partner behind. He didn't have his back. That went against everything Sam believed in… and because of it, Deeks paid the price.

Callen couldn't get out fast enough. No matter how incriminating the video, this was his team. They were supposed to be his family… how could they just believe it on face value? There was a time they wouldn't have… what had changed? As he walked away, he felt every wall he had every built and let them tear down rise back into place… stronger than before. He had warned them all he couldn't do long term relationships but they wouldn't listen. Well, they weren't the only ones to learn their lesson. He had too. He was done trusting people. It never worked out for him, not as a child and not as an adult. Picking up his phone he called Director Vance.

"Hello, Director. I just wanted to let you know, I'll be in town briefly tomorrow. We need to talk." Callen's voice left no room for questioning the intent.

"Very well, Agent Callen. Tomorrow then. Have you alerted Miss Lange?" Vance asked carefully.

"I will… and Director… from here on out they are not to know my business." Callen said lowly.

"Understood. Think carefully Callen. You don't want to have regrets." Vance spoke out of concern, fearing the outcome of this upcoming visit.

"I appreciate the concern Director but I think it's a bit late for warding off regrets at this point. Tomorrow then." Callen finished and put the phone back in his pocket.

He entered his home with only one intent… to grab his stuff and get the hell out. He had already stopped by one of his many hiding spots to grab some extra cash to have on hand. As he looked around the house one last time his chest tightened at the memories he'd made while there.

As quickly as the sorrow of losing so much hit him, it was replaced with anger at their true lack of trust and loyalty and how quick they were to take things at face value. These were the people who claimed to be his family. His eyes drifted to the picture above the mantle and in a swift burst of anger he grabbed the picture off the wall and threw it across the room watching as the shattered glass covered the floor around it. Grabbing up his tea box from the center of the mantle and his duffel off the floor he closed the door behind him. He put the key in the flower pot and walked away, never looking back.

His last stop was to drop a manila envelope in the post office box addressed to Hetty