"What are we going to do without our golden boy leading us into battle. Harry, mate, don't do this. Don't bloody leave us"
"You know what Ron. Gold is simply a color. It is an adjective. It is also a noun, a metal. By definition it is a yellow precious metal,a deep lustrous yellow or yellow-brown color. But you really do not want to hear about the scientific definition of gold. The point is that it is pretty to look at, but appearances can be deceiving. Don't you think?
In reality it is way more than that. It symbolizes something. Something bigger than anyone can ever imagine in one lifetime. Gold is something that cannot be achieved by a single person. Definitely not.
Gold, the color of the sun. Gold, the gleam of riches and jewels, valuable. Gold, the spark in their eyes. Gold, the color of light. Gold, the color of gryffindors. Gold, the blood of the gods. Gold, purity of the soul. Gold, the color of winners. The gold of hope, the gold of love.
You truly think that I am gold, but I am not. Thats silly. A person cannot be gold; especially not me. I am poison, I am a dark swirling mass that slowly suffocates those around it. The dark closes in but somehow i always survive. The black, thick smoke of battle, the darkness of the ocean. Drowning. The darkness oozes out of every pore. Evil ichor dripping from my head. My scar. Death. For me and everyone around me. There is one difference though. I can come back. I always come back. For even death won't claim me. I've tried. I've tried so hard.
Gold. the color of trophies. The mark of a winner. everything good in life. The boy who could do no wrong. The perfect statue. Of course nothing bad can happen to it. It must have had a perfect life. Only the best childhood for the golden boy. Nothing can touch you. You are metal, you are impenetrable. Flawless, emotionless. Gold.
But that's not true. I can love, I can hate. I feel pain, I feel sorrow. With every breath, I feel. With every curse I'm hit with. With every punch the world throws my way. With all the abuse my relatives have given me. If only they could see their golden child now. Ha. Blue all over. Beaten and broken. Full of Black. The color of hate. The color of dark, dark fury. Of the burning desire to hurt. The color of being locked away. Of being starved. Of being hurt constantly by those that should treat you with the kindness of parents. Where's that perfect childhood then. I'll tell you. It died with my parents. In a black inferno of hate and malice. Even you don't know the half of what I have been through. And now no one will know.
You didn't live through Hell with the Dursleys. You didn't fight Quirrell. Sure. you were there but you didn't physically fight him. You didn't….kill him. I killed him. Murderer at eleven. Ha. you could sell that headline to the Daily Profit. Probably get a nice chunk of money for that. You didn't fight the basilisk. You didn't die to only be saved in the knick of time by a phoenix. The poison burning through your cells, just like the poison I am to everyone. You didn't see him come back. Guess what. It isn't your blood running through his veins. Its mine. I brought him back. Me! You cannot honestly say that your life is better for having me in it.
But, Do you finally see now? Do you see why I absolutely have to do this? I can't hurt anymore people, and I can't pretend that things are going to change. I'm going to go down, and he is going with me. We are both too dark to remain here. All we do is taint and destroy. Do you know how many people are dead because of me. My parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, countless others lying in the Great Hall, Even Snape. That fucking bastard. I loved them all. Every single one of them. I just can't let their deaths be in vain. I…..I have to do this. Alone. Look, I'll see you on the other side . Just remember me okay. Not as the golden boy, not as this darkness, but as just Harry. Okay? I love you all. My life is better for having you in it. You saved me. If only for a little while. Live your life, have children. If not for yourself than for me.
Tell everyone that I'm sorry. Tell Ginny that I love her and will continue to love her until the end. I'll wait for her on the other side. Tell Teddy that I love him, and I'm sorry for not being able to be there for him growing up. I will always watch over him. Tell the remaining DA that I am proud of them. Tell the teachers that they gave me the best years of my life. Tell everyone that I'm sorry. Tell them to keep living.
Hey don't cry, i'll get to see my parents again. I will not be alone in death. It will be in death that I will finally be allowed to breath. It has to end, and it will end with end with me.
Goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy goldenboy
And just like that, armed with his fathers cloak and his wand, Harry walked into the forest. He walked to what would be, to his knowledge, his death. He said his goodbyes, and he was ready. Ready to end this once and for all.
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Hi. I'm just a freshman with a terrible English grade so plz don't send a ton of hate. Also, I am well aware that my writing is all over the place and hard to understand so if you made it all the way to the end…. Thank you! I'm sorry for any mistakes. Also I own nothing you recognize. This is a one shot but if you want, or have any ideas for, a second chapter just let me know. Yeah, once again I know that it's awful, but i'm just a horribly angsty teenager, so cut me a lot of slack. Thank You.