The Time Machine

by frostyfreezyfreeze54

In the second season finale of Thank You, Heavenly, RK uses Wade's new time machine to correct a previous mistake. However, he starts abusing the machine and alters the past against Wade's requests. This leads to the creation of a black hole slowly destroying the space-time continuum, and RK and Wade must team up to get rid of it...before it's the end.

1. The Time Machine Script

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 2

EPISODE 28

Airdate: May 18, 2014

Title: The Time Machine (Season Finale)

Segway Segment: RoundTable ("Is it unhealthy for a television show to hit its creative peak in its early years?")

Special Guest Stars: None

Satire/Social Commentary: None

NOTE: Except for RoundTable, Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn have minor roles in this episode.

Written by Michael "frostyfreezyfreeze54" Anderson, animated by Paul Wardenson, storyboarded by Tomas Greenberg, directed by Ken Lipman & Thomas W. Lynch

SCENE 1

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Wade is whistling "Fireflies" by Owl City while working on his brand new robot, which looks like an astronaut-dog hybrid. RK walks in while crying and sniffling repeatedly.

WADE: RK, what the hell happened?!

RK: I did something awful...totally awful.

WADE: Well, just tell me.

RK: I BOUGHT THE WRONG TOILET PAPER...(sniffling) AND KG YELLED AT MEEEEEEEEEEE! (RK starts crying again while Wade is confused)

WADE: What kind of implausibility is that? What would technically be the right toilet paper?

RK: He's scared that he'll contract an STD from inorganic material!

CUTAWAY GAG

KG is enraged while holding a roll of Scott toilet paper and RK is disturbed.

RK: I just don't see why this is a problem.

KG: I'VE EXPLAINED THIS TO YOU BEFORE, YOU ASSHOLE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CHEMICALS ARE IN THIS SHIT?!

RK: I don't know, you know I don't do science.

KG: A LOT! THAT MEANS THIS TOILET PAPER IS SWARMING WITH STDS READY TO INVADE MY ANUS!

RK: WHAT?!

KG: YES! I'M SCARED THAT TOILET PAPER LIKE THIS WILL GIVE ME AN STD! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME BY MAKING SURE I GET HERPES UP THE ASS?! I THINK SO! NOW GET (throws the Scott at RK) ANOTHER ONE BEFORE I START TO PLOTZ!

END OF CUTAWAY

WADE: I noticed you stopped crying.

RK: Yeah, I just couldn't do it anymore.

WADE: OK.

(long pause; Wade goes back to constructing his robot while RK continues to stare at him; Wade notices this)

WADE: In the words of Ashley, did you want something?

RK: Ashley doesn't say that, stop making stuff up. I need to find a way to fix this and I need your help.

WADE: RK, you can't change the past. Just go back to the store and get some organic toilet paper.

RK: You don't understand, Wade. Whenever this kind of thing happens, it's on my mind for hours. I can't just forget a bad memory. What kind of sick, mentally diseased person does that?!

WADE: Irony. Ha.

RK: It's not irony, I've been tested. There's an order to my disorder. Anyway, Wade, you know how much I hate disappointing people. Especially those I'm close to. Now help me come up with a better plan!

WADE: The probability of that is slim. Why are you trying to turn this into MY problem?

RK: Because you're my best friend. It's my job to make sure every event of my life affects you positively and ESPECIALLY negatively. Besides, you're the resident genius of the group. Whenever we need an intelligent solution, you're always there for us.

WADE: OK, you've buttered me up enough. But I just don't know what I can do for you, Holmes. Like I said before, you can't change the past. The timeline of our lives is an unbreakable force which continues to replenish...

RK: Yeah yeah, save the Five Percenter BS for your book club. And aren't YOU the one that always says that time travel hasn't been proven OR debunked?

WADE: Yes, but I don't see the correlation between this and...(a lightbulb appears above Wade's head and he's lost in thought for a moment) THAT'S IT! (grabs RK by the shoulders, all perked up and whatnot) RK, I have the undeniable solution to your peccadillo.

RK: Wade, I don't think we're in England.

WADE: (sighs) Just come with me.

(Wade walks upstairs while RK looks back at Wade's robot, and starts touching it. He considers making love to it and rubs his chin. After making his decision, he unzips his jeans and is about to drop his underwear)

WADE: RK, COME ON!

RK: (quickly picks up his jeans and zips them back up) OK, looks like robot relations won't be explored today.

SCENE 2

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Wade's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

Wade gets a key from the derby hat of his plush, sharp-dressed turtle on his shelf, and uses it to unlock one of the walls. The wall moves to the left and reveals a time machine eerily similar in design and structure to Stewie Griffin's time machine on Family Guy.

RK: You actually built a time machine?!

WADE: Oh, thank Allah you got it right off the bat. I was worried that we were going to have some unfunny banter and eventually I would be forced to tell you what this is, so honestly, thank you for sparing me that misfortune. And yes, I built a fully functional time machine. I was inspired after watching that Family Guy episode where Stewie has to stop Bertram from killing Leonardo da Vinci.

RK: What does it even do?

WADE: It's a time machine, what could you not possibly decipher from that? (RK angrily stares at Wade) Oh, I see what you're asking me. Well, to put it simply, with this time machine, you can go back or forward in time to any location, destination, or time period of your choosing. I went to 2015 last week.

RK: How was it?

WADE: Awful. No new pop stars and it doesn't look good for us if you catch my drift.

RK: I caught it.

WADE: Yeah. Anyway, for this one scenario, I'm allowing you to go back in time and prevent the toilet paper incident from happening. It's like that Queen Latifah movie, you go in and out. But please be warned. The consequences of altering the past are too many to list.

RK: What's the point of having time travel if you can't change anything?

WADE: Mostly to experience previous time periods or to correct mistakes. But people abuse this power and often go around changing major events like preventing Hitler's birth or replacing segregation with separation or giving Lady Gaga a PETA-friendly ensemble at the 2010 VMAs. The point is, changing things in the past can have a destructive effect on the present.

RK: Wade, you're the first human on Earth to do anything like this. How would you know if people abuse their power with time travel?

WADE: I ran some tests last week, got the results, still not bragging on myself. Look, RK, this is only for the toilet paper thing. Do NOT think about doing anything that could alter the past and present at once.

RK: Roger Evans, sir. Now let's get into it.

(RK and Wade go inside the time machine, and RK is even more entranced by the technology)

RK: Damn, you would've thought the hacking business would take a nosedive because of this guy.

(Wade shows RK the main control panel, with various colored buttons, a TV screen showing a dog for no apparent reason, and the amount of years traveled)

DOG: Hi there. I'm Spot.

RK: GAH, DAVE COULIER'S BACK FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL!

WADE: How do you know who Spot is?

SPOT: I love you, Spartacus.

(long pause; Wade and RK have blank stares)

WADE: Oh, that makes sense. Alright, so when did you buy the toilet paper?

RK: 20 minutes ago at the Zippy Mart.

WADE: HA! Zippy.

(Wade pulls out a microphone with a cord attached to the control panel)

WADE: Zippy Mart, 20 minutes ago.

ELECTRONIC FEMALE VOICE: 2006, the premiere of Cow Belles.

WADE: I told you to erase that!

ELECTRONIC FEMALE VOICE: It was a joke...you bastard.

(looking nervous at a scared RK) WADE: In case you're wondering, yes, this electronic voice is self-aware. Not exactly a genius idea to put that feature in. Last week, it said something that I'm sure sounded white supremacist.

(Undertaker's gong hits and lightning strikes as RK and Wade step on the electronic pad and become engulfed in an orb of blue light; the next thing you see, the orb is at the Zippy Mart 20 minutes ago and RK and Wade step out of it; the orb disappears)

RK: Wait, how are we going to get back home?

WADE: Don't worry, I came prepared. Thank you, Benjamin Franklin. Much like Stewie, I'm equipped with a return pad. (takes out the return pad from his backpack)

RK: Cool! (RK notices himself in line) Wait, that's me! Why are there two of me?

WADE: Dude, you WERE just here twenty minutes ago.

RK: I'm still not following you.

WADE: (sighs) RK, since you're going back to where you were at the exact same time, your goal is to warn your past self of what lies ahead so he can save himself.

(imitating True Jackson) RK: You say what now?!

WADE: Just tell your past self about what's going to happen in the future if he buys that toilet paper so he can buy an organic material!

(imitating Josh Nichols) RK: Huh?

WADE: RK, DAMMIT!

RK: I actually just got it, thank you. Let's get into it.

(RK walks over to the past RK in line)

FUTURE RK: Greetings from the future, Mr. Handsome.

(turns around) PAST RK: HEY! It's MR. Mr. Handsome to you, slubby. And who the hell are you? If you're pretending to be the librarian, I'm not returning those overdue books so you can get the bozack.

FUTURE RK: Am I always like this?

WADE: YES!

FUTURE RK: Man, it really hits you when you time travel. But look. If you buy that toilet paper now, you're going to get an awful tongue-lashing from KG.

PAST RK: How do you know what's going to happen? Are you some kind of time traveler?

FUTURE RK: STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME, THIS IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS! Just pick up the Marcal brand of toilet paper and ditch the Scott. You'll thank me in the future. Technically not, since we're never going to talk again.

PAST RK: Look, you're hot, but you really creep me out and my mom always said to stay away from people like you.

FUTURE RK: Dear Lord, I'm really infuriating to deal with sometimes. Look, if you don't listen to me now, Anna will dump you and never look back. She wants a boyfriend who LISTENS to his future self and buys the right toilet paper.

PAST RK: I'M ON IT!

(Past RK immediately runs toward the aisle with the toilet paper; RK runs towards Wade, who is hiding in the carbonated beverage aisle)

RK: Wade, you DO realize you don't need to hide, right? It's not important.

WADE: Look at YOU being the logical one for once. OK, let's go before your past self starts getting curious. You have a tendency to be curious.

CUTAWAY GAG

RK is blank faced in Wade's kitchen as a certain food item is on the floor and Wade is pissed, having his hands on his hips.

(very dry tone) RK: I wanted to see if souffles were stuffed. I learned a valuable lesson today...they're not.

END OF CUTAWAY

SCENE 3

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Wade continues to work on his robot when RK walks in.

RK: Alakazam, alakaboom. Watch out y'all, RK is in the room.

WADE: References. I'm glad you're back to your old self.

RK: You bet your ass, black. KG really enjoyed that toilet paper. He went into this weird dance and then he started to twitch on the floor. I called the hospital and it turns out he should stop doing that anytime I buy the organic toilet paper or else he'll give himself a seizure.

(Wade's eyes are widened and he can't seem to make sense of what RK just said)

WADE: I don't know what to do sometimes when you talk.

RK: But you know what I don't understand? The timeline after KG yelled at me was erased, how come I remember everything AND I was transported back to YOUR place?

WADE: Time travel is the biggest contradiction the world may never fully understand. But look, you got your toilet paper, so we can lock up shop.

RK: Why do we need to lock up shop? I don't want shop locked up. In fact, let's keep shop unlocked at all times. Unlocked shop is good shop.

WADE: What are you getting at, kid?

RK: I want to use the time machine whenever I want for whatever I want. I want to find a way to fuel my trivial pursuits.

WADE: That has about as much a chance of happening as Cimorelli releasing an album. RK, I told you time travel is dangerous. You're walking on a slippery slope every time you step into that machine because you have to avoid the temptation of altering the past.

RK: How long have you had this machine?

WADE: Two weeks.

RK: You've had this contraption for two weeks and you're acting like you've had it for two years. Calm down.

WADE: Look, RK, the negative ramifications of changing what previously happened are too many to list. It's a whole smorgasbord of possible cataclysmic events. Prevent Katrina, a hurricane will come a year later just as hard. Wait a minute, you can't stop a natural occurrence. Yeah, forget the Katrina thing, my point being is there's a lot of danger that time travel brings with it.

RK: Yeah, but I...

WADE: RK, I need you to promise me again: You will not go into my physically attractive time machine and change the past. Please understand that.

RK: I understand. I promise I won't travel back in time again.

WADE: Good. Hey, where are Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn? I haven't seen them all day.

RK: I think they're at Sparky's place.

(Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn are at Sparky's house for sure, looking extremely bored as they watch TV; Buster opens his mouth and puts up his index finger as if he's about to talk, but puts it down and closes his mouth as he looks down at the floor in disappointment and bewilderment over forgetting what he was about to say)

SCENE 4

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(RK bursts in, and Wade is nowhere to be found; he looks around and the camera does a whole shot of the living room)

RK: Well, when Wade said he was headed to the library, he wasn't playing around. Alright, time to go against Wade's orders and make the world a better place by traveling back in time.

(RK walks into Wade's room, and sees the lock which is sealed onto Wade's wall)

RK: OK, the lock is right there. So I just need to close the door (RK closes the bedroom door), look both ways (RK looks behind him and in front of him three times), and get the key...under Milton's derby!

(RK grabs the key from Milton the Turtle's derby hat)

RK: Weird. I don't remember Wade having this toy before. Oh well.

(RK takes the key and almost puts it in when...)

RK: Oh my God, I can't do this. This isn't me. Wade is my best friend, and he told me specifically not to go back in time, so dammit, I'm not going back in time! (RK's arm starts to shake as the key apparently is coming to life) No, key! YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVER ME! I'M A GOOD-LOOKING NINE-YEAR-OLD BOY! STAY BACK! STAY BACK! I am good-looking, right? Have to be. (The key seems to be pulling RK towards the lock) Well, Wade DID say that I can't alter the past. But he didn't say anything about not traveling through time at all. (RK unlocks the wall and the time machine is now in his presence) You know what? I have to do this? Benjamin Button can brag about time travel in books, but I can brag about it in school! I always wanted to see what Seka looked like in her prime.

(RK puts in a random time coordinate and the blue orb engulfs him)

20 MINUTES LATER

(The blue orb brings RK back; he now has long, blond glam metal-style hair with red highlights, jean shorts, and a Whitesnake T-shirt. He also has a tattoo on his left arm that says W.L.A.E. (Walk Like An Egyptian).

RK: Oh man, the 1980s were AWESOME! White guys were really experimental back then. With everything...made me feel the need to take a shower.

(RK steps outside the time machine, closes the wall and locks it)

RK: Alright. Now all I have to do is put this here key back under Milton's derby before...

(A clip is shown of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Boating Buddies" when SpongeBob says "Before what?!")

(looking at the camera in confusion) RK: Before Wade gets here? Geez, freaking God-forsaken idiots trying to fill up space with their damn non-sequiturs.

(The front door is heard being swung open as RK attempts to give Milton back the key)

RK: OH NO! I have to hightail this shit!

(RK does an Undertaker-style suicide dive through the open window, crashlanding into the bushes; the camera remains focused on the room even though RK just jumped out of it)

RK: (BLEEP) ME! OK, NOT ONE OF MY BETTER (BLEEP) IDEAS! Man, that was awesome. Oh wait, let me take this wig off, it's starting to chafe. (RK pulls off glam metal wig) That's better. As long as I don't change the past and come here when Wade's not around, I can travel through time whenever I want! Oh (bleep) my life, I need a doctor.

SCENE 5

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Wade's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

RK is in Wade's room at night.

RK: Alright, while Wade's having dinner with Adriana, I'll be...I'll be...criminy, my quality of snappy anecdotes has been declining. I hate being the funny guy in the group, I can't keep carrying these little kids on my back.

(RK unlocks the wall, pushes it to the side, and walks inside the time machine)

RK: Hmmmmm, let me think. Where do I want to go first? Oh no! I'm getting the urge to change the past! Wait a second, take a minute to think. (When RK says this, the beat from "Poetry" by Boogie Down Productions plays in the background). I got it! What if I do something that changes the past in both a positive AND negative way? That cancels out the negatives by default. Either way, for reasons I'll never understand, people are going to be upset about this.

(RK puts in his coordinates, and the gong hits/lightning strikes as he is engulfed by the blue orb)

MARCH 1, 1994

The orb transports RK to the outside of St. Joseph's Hospital in London, Ontario, Canada. He looks in the back of him for a minute.

RK: OK, if anyone asks, it was a really freaky abortion.

("Bartender" by T-Pain featuring Akon playing in the background)

RK is going to have the time of his life traveling through time tonight. He changes small things at first, like taking Jaylynn's cookie at lunch when she isn't looking, or preventing himself from slandering Big Time Rush's name ("Not Sparky's Fight to Fight"). His ideas get more complex as the evening goes on. He convinces his past self to not be so focused on Ashley, drops a non-lethal grenade into Dunkin' Donuts during the big sale, forcing everyone to evacuate so he can have the donuts. Along with preventing the Oklahoma City Thunder from winning the 2012 Western Conference Finals, he blinds Ray Allen in Game 6 of the 2013 NBA Finals with Japanese powder, avoiding the wrath of security by getting on the return pad. RK also gets tickets to WrestleMania XXVIII for him and a guest by trading a mystery bag with a kid and his mother. Well, the kid accepted the mystery bag. He yelled "MOLESTER!" to the police and got the mom arrested, one day before WrestleMania.

(RK, without saying a word, walks out of the time machine, pushes the wall forward, locks it, puts the key back under Milton's derby, and absentmindedly walks out of the window, hurting himself again.)

RK: OW, DAMMIT!

SCENE 6

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK is reading Ernest Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls (with special commentary on the book by Metallica) when Wade comes in, pissed.

WADE: RK, I know what you did.

RK: OK, fine. Last night, I had a dream I choked out Jesus and killed him. What do you think I should do?

WADE: I think you should get a new religion. And you know damn well that's not what I'm talking about. You went inside my time machine more than once and deliberately disobeyed my clear instructions, didn't you?

RK: What? Dude, that's insane. You have to be slinging that crack if you think I actually went inside your time machine and actually changed the past in an actual way...actually.

WADE: RK, this isn't a joke and you're not fooling anybody. Why did you use my time machine after I specifically told you not to?

RK: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That's a dirty, false accusation. You can't just...throw your deceitful statements around and think it's truth. People have gotten into serious trouble that way, Wade. In fact, you're no better than this guy. (RK holds up a picture of George McGovern)

WADE: RK, that's...

RK: That's right, flapjack. Joseph McCarthy. Tricked a bunch of people into thinking everybody was a communist. You're just a little Joe McCarthy, aren't you? In fact, that makes you a commie bastard.

WADE: RK, that's George McGovern.

RK: Your tricks are over, Wade. You can't fool me into thinking this guy is actually another guy. He might be another guy, but maybe we're ALL another guy. And maybe we all want to be something we're not. Maybe we're all just a bunch of commie transgenders for the cameras.

(long pause; Wade gives RK a bored look; RK stops holding the McGovern picture and puts it away)

WADE: RK, stop lying to me.

RK: I'm not the one who's lying, you are. What's your problem? Why do you feel the need to lie to me? What makes you lie?

WADE: RK, you're turning this around on me and I don't like that.

RK: Oh, because I'm exposing you as a liar? Because you keep on telling your big kid lies, one lie becomes another.

WADE: DUDE!

(The camera does a close-up of RK's increasingly guilty face, and he falls down and grabs Wade's legs)

(breaking down in the style of Buster Baxter from Arthur) RK: OK, I DID IT! IT WAS ME, IT WAS ALWAYS ME! CHECK YOUR SECURITY CAMERA, YOU'LL SEE IT WAS ME!

WADE: What are you talking about? I don't even have a security camera.

RK: I think I got carried away there. BUT I DID IT! IT WAS ME, WADE!

(An audio clip of Jim Ross saying "Aw, son of a bitch.")

RK: IT WAS ME THE WHOLE TIME! I know I shouldn't have done it, but it looked so cool and it seduced me! It played a sexual game I didn't come prepared for! (RK starts fake crying)

WADE: RK, please get your hands off my ankles.

(RK gets up and releases his grip)

RK: Wait a second! How do I know you're not just overreacting?

WADE: There's a feature in the time machine that logs the amount of time you've traveled. Did you really not stop and think I could possibly have that?

RK: Wade, I don't have time to stop and think about stuff. And I think you're lying to me.

RK and Wade are now in Wade's time machine, and Wade angrily shows him the amount of time traveled.

RK: Oh, so you DO have that.

WADE: RK, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU'VE SINGLEHANDEDLY DISRUPTED THE FLOW OF TIME!

RK: First of all, the yelling...kill that noise. And second of all, how do you know for sure I changed the past?

WADE: This machine lets me know if there have been any alterations to our world.

RK: I'm starting to think you became very anal-retentive when building this machine.

WADE: In what other universe would "Mmm Yeah" by Austin Mahone reach #2 on the Billboard Hot 100?! IN 2014!

RK: It could happen. Unless someone killed Bieber.

WADE: RK, because you constantly went back in time and altered the past, our whole world is going to suffer for it. Don't you understand how serious this is?!

RK: Of course I do, Wade. I just think your idea of time travel is flawed, that's all.

WADE: HOW THE (BLEEP) SO?!

RK: Calm down before you have another episode, spaz. OK, let me be Mr. Science and think like you for a minute. I didn't exactly alter anything major. So in a way, it's not like anything absolutely awful is going to happen to us.

WADE: Ray Allen is blind for the rest of his life and thanks to you, he was forced to retire early. But now, he can suddenly play the piano really well.

RK: Don't say that ever again, that was NOT funny.

WADE: I was reaching for something!

RK: Look, tomorrow at school, you'll see that the time travel effects are all just a bunch of stereotypical sugarhuey. Nothing's going to happen, genius.

WADE: I pray to Allah you're right. Because is the worst thing you've done since you convinced the Ad Council to approach Pee-wee Herman for that anti-crack PSA!

RK: Wade, first of all, that was in 1991. Did you even question the logic behind that?

WADE: OH, SO YOU GET TO MAKE (BLEEP) RANDOM CUTAWAYS AND I CAN'T?!

SCENE 7

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade are walking through, looking around.

RK: This is working out great. I haven't affected our present universe all that much when push comes to shove.

WADE: Austin Mahone's album sold 800,000 copies in its first week. Do you have anything to do with that?

(long pause; Wade gives RK a death glare, and RK returns it)

RK: Don't...don't do that. You already know what I did, bitch. (RK notices Sparky at his locker) Hey, there's Sparky. I'm going to ask him for some advice.

(RK walks up to Sparky)

RK: Aiyyo, what's the biznatch, Sparko? My Spar-Kay? The Los Angeles Sparks? The Sparkmeister, Sparker Lewis...

SPARKY: I GET IT! Sorry. What do you need?

RK: I need advice on what to do about Anna.

SPARKY: Oh, brother.

(RK raises his eyebrow in confusion)

RK: Anyway, I want to take Anna to a Mariners game this Friday, but she wants to go to the movies and I'm saying the movies aren't too hot right now. Maybe wait until Memorial Day weekend, where it's...

(Throughout this, Sparky looks openly bored and disgusted; RK starts to notice it)

(blissfully unaware of Sparky's disinterest) RK: Sparky, are you trying to do your best Al Bundy impression?

SPARKY: Pardon me, mon frere.

(Sparky walks past RK and towards Wade; long pause)

RK: I'm not even sure if that was conjugated correctly.

SPARKY: Wade, RK has problems again. We need to flip a coin, got one?

WADE: Sparky, you know we don't do that anymore. We solve RK's problems with fairness, order, and compassion.

SPARKY: Look, I have to get to class. Just handle it, OK?

(Sparky walks away from Wade and heads towards class; a suspicious Wade walks towards RK)

RK: What an idiot. He didn't even remember to lock his cubby. (RK locks Sparky's locker for him)

WADE: We're in fourth grade, no one says cubby anymore. RK, did you change anything about Sparky?

RK: No. Remember that fight we had over Big Time Rush or some stupid shit?

WADE: Yeah.

RK: Well, I went back in time and prevented that from happening. One bad memory erased. I still remember it somewhat, but you get the picture.

WADE: Dude, that fight was important. It marked a turning point in your friendship with Sparky.

RK: Ah, it's OK. Wait a minute, it's not. Sparky didn't want to give me advice. OH NO! He doesn't remember the fight!

WADE: See, RK? This is EXACTLY what I was talking about!

RK: This is NOT good. This is NOT good. Sparky is awesome at giving advice. Without him, I would have to go to Jaylynn. And the last time I did that, it was a nightmare.

CUTAWAY GAG - JANUARY 2014

RK is at Jaylynn's house talking to her on her couch. She looks bored.

RK: I'm just not sure if Ashley is into me or not.

JAYLYNN: Swipe the bitch's V-card, what are you waiting for?

RK: Jaylynn, I can't have sex, I'm nine.

JAYLYNN: So?

(throwing his hands in the air with widened eyes, shocking Jaylynn) RK: SO IT'S NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!

END OF CUTAWAY

Wade notices Buster talking to Gilcania and Yomaris. Well, Yomaris is on her phone while talking to Gilcania.

WADE: Look, there's Buster!

RK: You think my time traveling made him smarter?

WADE: Only one way to find out. Let's get into it.

(RK and Wade walk towards Buster)

(camera does a slow zoom into Buster and Gilcy, going from a wide shot into a closer one without zooming into normal orientation; this is for comedic effect) BUSTER: So I just kept on applying the ointment and...eventually, the rash went away.

(back to normal camera orientation) GILCANIA: That's a wonderful story, Buster. But maybe next time, I should be the only one to share personal stories.

BUSTER: Be my guest.

(RK and Wade's arms pull Buster out of frame, much to Gilcania's confusion)

BUSTER: What the hell are you lallafral doing?

RK: Good, we don't have to worry about ANOTHER group member thinking too hard.

WADE: Buster, are you OK? Anything feel different?

BUSTER: No, not really. I'm just hoping my rash doesn't come back. It was like a G-rated herpes.

WADE: I second that sentiment, RK. Do you know where Jaylynn is?

BUSTER: In Portland. You know, Portland, Oregon? Although, she might have just been lying to us all the time and she's actually a native of Maine.

WADE: Oh, so she's visiting? Funny, she never mentioned that.

BUSTER: Wade, she LIVES in Portland. You know that already. Are you feeling OK? Don't be a stereotype, man.

WADE: Buster, I don't...

BUSTER: Because I know you're black and you probably feel the urge to give into the stereotypes the media has created for your race but, just because you're black, don't mean you gots to sling that crack. And you sure as Hell don't have to smoke it.

(long pause)

WADE: What the (bleep) are you talking about?

BUSTER: Look, I have to get to class. When you're done being loopy and you remember that Sparky and Jaylynn are pen pals, you know where to find me.

(Buster walks away and the camera does a close-up of him)

BUSTER: Special ed.

(The camera focuses back on a confused RK and Wade)

RK: I think he just called you special ed.

WADE: JAYLYNN'S NOT HERE?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!

RK: I actually had nothing to do with this. I don't exactly see how this in particular is a bad thing.

WADE: I love Jaylynn. She's like family to me. And think about everything we won't get to look back on now that she's never moved here. RK, if this keeps up and things continue changing, the fate of humanity might be at stake too.

RK: Oh no. Hey, are you going to Halley's birthday party next month? I want to RSVP, but I think I might have other commitments.

(Wade angrily stares at RK)

RK: What? I'll look like a goofus if I RSVP for two and you don't show up!

(The oh-oh-ohhhhhhh-oh from the Big Time Rush theme song plays in the background as Wade does a serious facepalm, while RK just has a blank stare at him)

SEGWAY SEGMENT

WARNING: The following contains content that may not be understandable for some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

ROUNDTABLE

JAYLYNN: Hi, everybody. I'm Jaylynn Skylar Hernandez and welcome to the last RoundTable of the year. The following question was posed by Hunter Quaid in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His question is, "Is it unhealthy for a television show to hit its creative peak in its early years?" Sparky, you have the floor first.

RK: Of course he does.

(Everyone gives RK a blank stare)

SPARKY: I don't see anything wrong with that. I don't think it's unhealthy. Lots of television shows have done that. You want your show to be the best on television. You have to give the best product. Look at Modern Family. I mean, quality is obviously subjective, but according to the consensus, it may end up being one of the greatest sitcoms of all-time. People are in love with this show. It came out swinging. Almost immediately, you saw a high-quality sitcom. What I've learned a long time ago is that if you're having weak episodes in your early years, especially if you're a live-action show, people are going to ditch your show immediately and not give it a second chance. You can't wait to develop because these days, people don't have the patience. You peak in the third season, so be it. You peak in the third season and like it because it's your job to throw out your best material from the start.

BUSTER: I think it's more unhealthy for cartoons to peak early than live-action shows. The thing with live-action shows is that the older the characters get, the more mature the show gets and you start to see more depth. I think the first season of Boy Meets World was crap compared to the fourth one. All the show needed was time to develop. You've been around the block a few times and you start to put the characters in more mature, serious situations. It really does pay off. You know jumping the shark? There's also a thing where shows grow the beard. It's where a show has an episode so good, it has firmly established itself as a force to be reckoned with. I think late in the third season, Full House started to show signs of improving and by the fourth season, it was the most entertaining sitcom on ABC. You couldn't touch that show until maybe the second half of the seventh season. So I feel like if a live-action show peaks early, it's not a bad thing. It can still have a few more good years after the peak period before it declines.

RK: You bring up an interesting point. Look at Family Guy. I think it's apparent to almost everybody that the consensus has been extremely negative for years now. I don't think it's fair personally when there are plenty worse shows on TV, and as soon as American Dad started to find its identity, I knew the fan support was going to start shifting...

WADE: Didn't they find their identity when you were two years old?

RK: You know what I mean. The point is that Family Guy peaked too early. I think it was during its third season that I said to myself, "With the exception of South Park, I don't think any other adult cartoon was on its level at that time." It was probably the best thing on television and more people would have realized that if Fox hadn't jerked it around. The writing team isn't even the same. In 2001, you had Barker, Weitzman, Blitt, Goldman, Donovan, Zuckerman, Janetti, Callaghan in his prime. It was like an all-star team of writers. 13 years later, all you have is Callaghan and he's not as sharp as he used to and Janetti who has never gotten the chance to do much else outside of writing for Brian. So when people say that the show sucks now, they need to look at the facts. The show peaked too early and when the old writers left because they didn't see it getting revived, the standard was very high. I'll always say the fourth season was their absolute best work. Most people don't think so, but considering what was going on behind the scenes, they maintained that high level of quality at least until 2007. So, I think it peaking early in the early 2000s and Fox jerking it around is what led to Family Guy's current reputation.

WADE: I don't think any show should peak early. What's the point in that? You want to give us three, maybe four excellent seasons and then you start getting gassed? What the hell is wrong with these programs? They lose erudite, well-rounded, subversive, sophisticated writers and producers and replace them with sophomoric, lowbrow, formulaic, incoherent scatterbrains. It's not hard to maintain a high quality for more than a few years. The reviews of American Dad these days prove that as long as you have capable people working on the show and can understand it at a mature level, you can still keep it at top-dollar quality well into your later years. Unless you're like Dan Harmon or Aaron McGruder in which case the show was always yours, you shouldn't peak early. It's very unhealthy and very detrimental to a program's reputation.

(long pause; awkward silence)

JAYLYNN: We'll be back next season with more RoundTable.

SCENE 8

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

(Wade has a whiteboard in front of the TV and has drawn several complex formulas on it, including drawings of RK and himself; he is using a green marker, and it looks like he's explaining something that somebody)

WADE: Alright, now let's look at this logically. I built a time machine (points to drawing of time machine), you (points to drawing of RK with a troll face) stepped into said time machine several times to fill your own self-serving ways, and then disrupted the flow of time by deliberately altering past events (points to drawing of the word "PAST" being split in half by a lightning bolt). However, that's not the conclusion. In a bizarre version of quantum theory, your very presence in the past and your alterations have unwittingly had a negative effect on the present. (points to a drawing of RK choking the word "PRESENT")

(long pause; RK is blank-faced on the couch)

RK: I don't remember you ever having that whiteboard.

WADE: RK, stay WITH me here. Our present universe is in dire straits. (Wade sits down next to RK) And you don't seem to give two squirts of piss.

RK: That's not true. Eight times out of ten, I would give THREE squirts of piss and a waste removal. But don't you think you're just jumping the gun with all this?

WADE: How can I when all the signs are there?

RK: You might just be reading between the lines a little more than you should. After all, this isn't the first time your ass has gone cuckoo bananas over something that never mattered.

CUTAWAY GAG

Wade is in Mr. Buslovich's math class doing classwork. He sneezes but no one says anything.

SPARKY: ACHOO!

ASHLEY: Bless you.

SPARKY: Thank you.

WADE: (BLEEP) THE BOTH OF YOU!

END OF CUTAWAY

WADE: OK, that was when I was just a little hellion.

(bored) RK: Wade, that was last week.

(long pause)

WADE: Bitch, don't try and weasel your way out of this!

RK: Look, genius, why don't we just go to the houses of the people we know and see if anything's changed? And I bet you this...bizarre Guantanamo Bay stuff has nothing to do with it.

WADE: Yeah, because you probably changed those events too!

RK: WADE!

WADE: Alright, let's go.

SCENE 9

The Rodriguez Household

Interior Frontyard

Seattle, Washington

RK and Wade are now checking in with Ashley. Wade has a notebook which he has converted into a checklist.

WADE: OK, so Sparky is more cynical, but other than that, everyone else checks out.

RK: See, Mr. Overreactive? Nothing has affected the present too bad. Maybe time travel is a good thing.

WADE: We're still not out of the woods yet, Holmes. We still have a few more people. And you know how forgetful Ashley is.

(Wade walks to the front door and rings the doorbell while RK stands there staring into space; Wade turns around when he notices RK didn't follow him)

WADE: Dude, what the (bleep)?

RK: I thought you were setting up a flashback.

WADE: No, it was just a general statement.

RK: Then boy, choose your words carefully next time. I hate having to stand here any time someone makes a cutaway.

WADE: Then that's your problem, Pablum.

(Ashley opens the door)

WADE: Hey Ashley.

ASHLEY: Who are you?

RK: Looks like you just got the business, Weaselgraft.

WADE: Ashley, you know who I am.

ASHLEY: No, I don't. I'd remember a weird-looking kid like you.

RK: OOH, SHE WENT THERE! SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO GO THERE, BUT SHE WENT THERE! OOH, GIRLS BE WILD!

WADE: Ashley, do you not...remember me?

ASHLEY: Absolutely not.

(Wade angrily stares back at a smiling RK)

RK: Hey, you shouldn't get upset over what you can't change.

ASHLEY: Who's your friend? I like his spiky hair.

WADE: Oh, so now you see the problem, right?

RK: Is Christianity the perfect religion?

WADE: Well...

RK: Don't answer that. Ashley, stop dicking around, you know who we are.

ASHLEY: I don't, and please leave me alone or else I'm going to call the police.

RK: I can't go to jail! (brief pause) A fourth time!

WADE: RK, Ashley can't remember us. Because you altered the past, the present is being affected by the bizarre quantum theory.

RK: You and your FiOS Quantum garbage. Ashley's just goofing on us. This reeks of something Sanna would do.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I really miss Sanna.

RK: We all do.

ASHLEY: Wait, I don't remember seeing you guys at the funeral.

WADE: Funeral?!

RK: What are you talking about?

ASHLEY: Don't you know that Sanna's dead?

RK: Oh my God. Wade, I'm starting to think our present universe is being negatively affected.

(Wade angrily turns his face towards RK, slowly; RK remains blank-faced)

ASHLEY: You guys want to go to the cemetery?

(RK and Wade nod)

SCENE 10

St. Charles Boneyard

Interior Sanna's Tombstone

Seattle, Washington

RK, Wade, and Ashley are looking at Sanna's burial spot. Her gravestone reads: "IN LOVING MEMORY OF SANNA QURESHI. 2005-2014. NEVER DRINK MILK AGAIN."

RK: I can't believe she's dead. I loved Sanna so much.

WADE: Why does it say "never drink milk again" on the tombstone?

ASHLEY: Well, what happened was Sanna got run over by a milk truck and her injuries were too severe for the doctor to save her.

RK: Was the milk truck Silk? I just get the feeling that someone from that business would do something like that?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

RK: Was it some generic milk company that isn't all that memorable or significant?

WADE: DUDE! What else happened, Ashley?

ASHLEY: "Happy" by Pharrell started playing in the hospital after she was pronounced dead, and the song's powers healed her back to full strength.

RK: I prefer the Tyler Ward/Cimorelli posse cut version.

WADE: But why isn't she still alive today?

ASHLEY: She got hit by another milk truck on her way home from the hospital. They say she smelled like 2%.

WADE: Oh man. I'm so sorry for your loss, Ashley.

ASHLEY: It's OK. It's just that I loved Sanna like family and...she was the most thoughtful person in the world. (Ashley starts crying) I wish I could do something to make her come back but I can't!

(RK hugs Ashley who's crying up a storm)

WADE: RK, we need to do something about this.

RK: You're telling me. Wade, I'm sorry for going back in time and repeatedly changing the past. After causing Sanna's death, I don't want to ever step inside that machine again.

(looking up) ASHLEY: What did you do?

RK: My brother has lewd thoughts of owning Hannah Montana's breath. Is what I said earlier.

(Ashley goes back to crying)

WADE: RK, we're going to have to step inside that machine. We're going to undo everything you did.

RK: WHAT?! (lightning strikes and thunder claps as Ashley looks up) Oh, so that's what Sparky meant with that whole atmospheric thing.

SCENE 11

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Wade's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

(Wade gets the key from Milton's derby and unlocks the wall)

RK: Seriously, when did you get that toy?

(Wade pushes the wall back and opens the time machine; he steps inside and RK follows him; RK closes the door behind him)

WADE: It's simple, RK. All we need to do is change back everything you altered and we can salvage our present universe.

RK: Are you trying to contradict everything I said before? I don't want to mess with this Satanic machine ever again! It killed Sanna!

WADE: You don't have to do a thing. All I have to do is press this sexy red button right here that undos any event in the past of your choosing. All we do is check off any of the alterations we want to change back (Wade ignores the first alteration with the toilet paper, paying attention to detail) and press this button. (Wade presses the red undo button, but it doesn't work) The hell? This is peculiar. You're supposed to hear Orlando Brown's cover of "Will It Go Round In Circles." (Wade presses the button again, and nothing happens) Is this some kind of attempt at chuckles? (Wade presses the button a third time, and he gets shocked, making his short nappy hair a Huey Freeman-style afro)

RK: Look on the bright side, Wade. You're finally the black Albert Einstein like you always wanted.

WADE: Something's very disturbing about this. (Lights start flickering in the time machine)

VOICE: Portal alert. A black hole has opened in the space-time continuum.

(imitating Joey Styles) WADE: OH MY GODDDDDDDDD!

VOICE: I love ECW. Anyway, you want to step inside the portal and see what has happened to the dimension, as a result of what RK did?

RK: You know what? Fine. Let's blame the cute boy for everything!

WADE: Let's get into it.

(Wade and RK step inside the portal that the electronic voice has opened; there's a staircase and everything is a pink whirlpool; at the very bottom of the whirlpool is a black hole which is slowly growing; an old man is heard screaming)

RK: Hey that sounds like Sparky's grouchy neighbor Mr. Futch.

MR. FUTCH: I (BLEEP) HATE THAT BITCH, WHATEVER SHE DID TO ME!

(long pause)

WADE: Uh-huh.

ELECTRONIC VOICE: The black hole will continue to grow until it has sucked up everything in the universe. In three hours, life as you know it will cease to exist.

WADE: Dear Allah. What do we do to help remedy the situation?

(annoyed and un-robotic) ELECTRONIC VOICE: I don't know, YOU figure it out. You built the damn thing. God, I need sex. When do I get paid?

(long pause; RK and Wade look uncomfortable)

RK: Let's go to the library.

SCENE 12

Seattle Public Library - Bottrell

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

(RK and Wade are heading towards the library)

BLACK GUY: Darius, those dick-riding niggas are coming around again.

DARIUS: Yo, Curtis, I don't give a (bleep) about those niggas, man. I'm sick and tired of them acting like faggots around me, shit. I'm going to shoot them dirty-ass gay mother(bleep)ers up. And then when they're dead, I'll think about 'em at night because...that's just me and shit.

RK: Wade, I'm scared. We're not urban enough to fit in here, I TOLD you I wanted to go to Felzenburg like always.

WADE: Felzenburg is decent, but Bottrell is one of the best branches in the city. It has all the provisions we may need to deal with this.

(Camera cuts to a wide shot of Wade opening the library door, and RK following him; the animation pacing is reminiscent of Seasons 6-8 of Arthur)

RK: How? Time travel is pretty much still science fiction at the end of the day.

WADE: Hey, someone has to be enough of a crackpot to come up with some insane theories that pertain to us.

(Wade is reading a book standing up while RK is window shopping; there is a poster on the wall promoting the theatrical release of the book A Fault in Our Stars, with the tagline "Knowing at least 15% of the book's content is enough for us.")

RK: Wade, last night, I had a dream I snuffed Lauren Jauregui. What do you suggest?

WADE: I suggest you go see Dr. Osborne about your possible misogyny.

RK: I can't, he's been on vacation for weeks. I tried calling him this morning to ask him what the dream meant and he kept saying "Get the stash from Paco." Whatever that means, I don't watch Maya & Miguel. Did you find anything in that book that could help us?

WADE: I sure did.

(The camera focuses on the front black cover, which says Clockstoppers: Understanding the Modern Time Machine (and Other Fabrications) by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's in white lettering. )

WADE: OK, other than the first 30 or so pages where he rants about philosophy, there's some good stuff in here. In fact, we finally have the answer that can change everything.

RK: What is it?

WADE: "When the past is repeatedly altered, especially for self-centered or dangerous purposes, events in the present can be altered even if the time traveler in question has nothing to do with it. This can lead to a rip in the space-time continuum. A black hole will develop and continue to grow until it has eaten away at humanity. Eventually, the black hole will keep altering events and sucking all remnants of life until the present universe ceases to exist. Permanently."

RK: So, because of me, we're all gonna die?!

WADE: Hey, keep your shirt on, cowboy, we have solutions. "To rectify this abhorrent mistake, one must venture inside said time machine and repair the black hole. This will keep the space-time continuum intact and every negative event will be changed back. These events will also be permanently prevented from being altered ever again. Or else, the present universe will be wiped out by the black hole forever."

RK: Dear Jesus in Heaven, save us.

WADE: RK, we've officially reached an impasse. You and I have to save the world.

RK: Man, this is some heavy stuff. My asshole is clenching just thinking about it.

WADE: Dude, gross. OK, (checks his Swatch) according to my Swatch, we have two hours and 15 minutes left until the world ends. Why don't we both go home and I'll call you in an hour so we can really get ready for this thing?

RK: Sure. It will give me time to get sexually aroused before then. I'm thinking either JWoww as a schoolgirl or lesbian Muslim porn. And the Muslims are really shy too so it gets hotter by the minute.

(Wade widens his eyes at RK)

RK: What? You're an eight-year-old boy, you're supposed to have urges and raging boners too. See ya.

WADE: See ya. I should really check out this book. There might be something (Wade sees something that catches his eye and he becomes almost traumatized at what he's read)...really important. (Camera focuses on Wade's confused reaction, as he mouths "What?" a few times)

SCENE 13

("The Big Payback" by EPMD playing in the background)

RK gets the call from Wade that it's time to go. He goes into his closet and grabs a replica of the outfit Big Time Rush wore on the Better with U Tour whenever they performed "Elevate." His cap is even stylized the same way as the group's caps were (of course, the letters on his cap say "RK"). He puts it on (with the cap backwards on purpose) and walks out of the house as things start getting sucked up even more. Throughout this, RK just has a stern look on his face as he avoids the creeped out stares of onlookers as he heads to Wade's house. Sparky, Buster, and Jaylynn stare at each other at Sparky's house as the black hole is being reported on television as coming from an undisclosed and completely unknown location. At Wade's house, his black hole gear is more conventional. He has on fingerless black gloves, spiked wristbands, a black T-shirt, blue jeans, long black boots with spurs, three gold chains, and goggles. Both boys look at each other like the other's insane when they see each other's outfits. Throughout the montage, the boys parody the music video for "The Big Payback." The two are trapped in a half-labyrinth, half-shooting range and the two have to use their nines to get out by shooting the generic cardboard stick figures. They even get N.W.A. lookalikes since members of the group were in the actual video. Pretty soon, the two realize what they're doing.

(record skips; RK and Wade both look at their nines in confusion and fear)

RK: Um...Wade?

WADE: I don't know, man, I just don't know.

SCENE 14

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Wade's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

Wade is polishing off his boots while RK is checking his phone.

RK: Hmmm. Looks like Austin Mahone is projected to win Top Hot 100 Artist at the Billboard Music Awards on Sunday.

(a brick falls in front of RK's face, almost out of nowhere)

RK: The (bleep)?! That could've killed me!

WADE: RK, horseplay isn't vital to our mission.

(mocking Wade) RK: Horseplay isn't vital to our mission. That's what YOU sound like.

WADE: Alright, let's get into it.

RK: I'm scared.

WADE: Don't be. We just patch the hole in the space-time continuum, and restore our present universe back to the way it was. And we have about 15 minutes until the black hole starts making the rounds on national and international news so I suggest we start moving.

(RK gulps in fear, and enters the machine with Wade)

ELECTRONIC VOICE: Open portal.

(The portal to the current dimension is opened)

WADE: You got the tarp. It will neutralize the black hole easily until it shrinks.

RK: I'm starting to think this whole situation makes no sense whatsoever. And yes, I have the tarp.

WADE: Well, at least we can say we saved the world from absolute evisceration.

RK: Yeah, who would believe that?

(RK and Wade are now in the portal, and RK is shaking at the sight of the black hole, which is way bigger than before and looks deeper)

RK: I don't think I can do this.

WADE: Look, RK, I know it's scary, but we have no choice. Think about the billions of lives that are at risk. We're the only ones that can bring back our old universe. What happened to you, man? You're always a multipurpose facility of confidence.

RK: You want to see confidence? I'LL SHOW YOU CONFIDENCE!

(RK screams and rushes down the stairs, diving off them towards the black hole)

WADE: Hey, wait for me, you son of a bitch!

(Wade dives off the stairs and does a split-legged corkscrew moonsault, better known as Starship Pain off them; he soon meets RK)

RK: Hmmm, took you a while. So, how do we know if we've succeeded?

WADE: Everything will go black and you'll hear "Will It Go Round In Circles." And it has to be the cover by Orlando Brown. The original cut by Billy Preston doesn't count.

RK: Got it.

WADE: And there's also something else you should know.

RK: What is it?

WADE: There's a very strong chance we could save the world and still die.

RK: WHAT?! HOW?!

WADE: We may not be able to patch the hole fast enough to save ourselves. Or the black hole is still capable of eating us alive by not bolting out of the portal in time.

RK: So there are three options and two of them involve death?! Why didn't you tell me before?!

WADE: I wanted to conceal it because I didn't know how likely it was at first. But I ran some tests and the possibility of...

RK: No. Shut the (bleep) up. This whole time machine crap has annoyed the hell out of me since the beginning and now our lives are in danger.

WADE: Well. maybe you shouldn't have touched my damn machine in the first place!

RK: Yeah. Maybe after we save the world, we should just ignore each other for a little while.

WADE: It's affirmative to me.

(Wade notices they're getting increasingly closer towards the black hole)

WADE: RK, THE TARPAULIN, LET'S GO!

RK: I don't think I want to.

WADE: YOU DICK, GIVE IT TO ME!

RK: NO, LEAVE ME ALONE, I HATE YOU!

WADE: I'M NEVER GOING TO FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!

(RK and Wade scream as they get closer and closer into the black hole, but Wade grabs the tarp and...)

WADE: NOOOOOOOOOO!

(black screen)

("Ain't No Grave" by Johnny Cash playing in the background)

RK and Wade restored the space-time continuum, but they weren't able to save themselves. They died but no bodies were found due to being sucked inside the black hole. The result of their deaths was unknown according to the autopsy. This also resulted in the destruction of the time machine. Their funeral is a joint funeral. The surviving members of Testicular Sound Express, the Masters of the Universe, KG, Sanna, RK's parents, Wade's parents, Diana, Adriana, and Anna are all on hand. Everyone's dressed in black and there are lots of tears. KG can barely contain himself and Jaylynn continues having to hug him and cover him. A certain number of streets in Seattle are closed off for the funeral. A man is driving a hearse through the streets, which is supposed to represent RK's body. Another man is driving a second hearse through the streets, which represents Wade's body. The roofs of both hearses are covered in roses. The hearses are then taken to St. Charles Boneyard, where employees at the boneyard take the caskets inside the hearses and carry them towards their resting spots. The first gravestone reads: "IN LOVING MEMORY OF RYAN KENNEDY "RK" JENNINGS: 2005-2014. AN IMAGINATIVE WARRIOR." The second gravestone reads: "IN LOVING MEMORY OF WADE RAKIM SALTALAMACCHIA: 2006-2014. A BRILLIANT SOUL." It's now time for the caskets to be lowered into the ground. Both are covered with roses. Adriana covers Wade's casket with a large number of roses, and Anna does the same for RK. Sparky can barely control his tears, and breaks down when he puts a rose on RK's casket. Buster hugs him, but even he can't keep from crying. Jaylynn goes back to her seat, not wanting anyone to see her cry. Asil notices, and hugs her. Asil looks almost drained emotionally. Ashley continues to not make sense of what's happening, and leaves a small note saying "I love you" on RK's casket. Jaylynn runs towards Wade's casket and breaks down near it, begging not for it to be buried. Sparky, Buster, Halley, and Gilcania are forced to pull her off. Wade's parents also hug Jaylynn. RK's mother is distraught at the thought of her son being buried, and KG continues to cry. As Wade's casket is lowered into the ground, Buster trembles and drops one last rose on it, struggling to hold back his tears. RK's father kisses his son's casket before it's lowered, and holds his heartbroken wife. Sparky takes one last look at the caskets of both his friends as they're lowered. Gravediggers come and bury the caskets in six feet of dirt. At night, everyone is gone, and the camera zooms in on both resting spots. The screen slowly turns black as Undertaker's gong is heard.

("Will It Go Round In Circles" by Orlando Brown playing in the end credits)

(C) 2014 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

SEE YOU IN JULY FOR THE THANK YOU, HEAVENLY AWARDS :)