One – Shot: I can't seem to let you go
Author: Dark Wings Of Imagination
Genre: Romance
Rating: M
Summary: "Ferrington's unwavering support was refreshing, she doesn't think she had anyone believe and protect her so blindly before, it was exhilarating an it was dangerous, perhaps even more than the serial killer she was there to catch."
A\N: this piece was inspired by Sara Bareilles' Gravity. Not beta-ed, mistakes are mine, please forgive me for them – it's 2:00am here.
A/N2: I just edited this piece, trying and correcting as many mistakes as I could find and also tweaked it a bit, and I believe it's better now. Thanks to all of those who have already read.
London is beautiful, vibrant with life and its ageless enchantment, and even as someone who is used to see the darkest and merciless side of the city – a side most people live blissfully ignorant of – and as someone who had lived there most of her life, Stella Gibson is still able of appreciating the marvelous things the city has to offer – even more so after the hellish case she had just closed in Belfast.
A case she wants nothing more than to put behind her to never visit again. Don't get her wrong, she loves her work, a little too much even, loves it enough for having no need to fill the remnants of her life with someone else, but as passionate about it as she is, she does have a limit.
Of course, as any other human being she has urges that not even a self-sufficient woman like herself can take care of alone; but sex is easy and hardly ever she is unable to get what she wants. Both men and women have a hard time resisting a beautiful, sexy and confident woman and she knows it. She's not shy or embarrassed; she owns her sexuality and takes control of it as she does in every other aspect of her life.
She's not made of stone, as she knows many of her colleagues think she is, but in a male dominant world as hers the need to harden a once upon a time soft personality was mandatory, and honestly after everything she's been through, closing herself off wasn't that hard.
She is a loner and she's alright with it and even if sometimes she yearns for more than just a sweet night, more than a quick fuck, she knows she is not built for it, she can't see herself actually trying and giving her time and energy to someone else. It would never work it's what she tells herself when a bottle of wine or several glasses of scotch just don't seem to do their job.
Nights like these usually end up in swimming the life out of her in the early morning and if that isn't enough a coffee and a sugary pastry from the coffee shop around the corner do the trick – that and peaceful silence of the early hours of the day, the smell and colors of her home town filling her senses and silencing her thoughts as well.
Ever since she came back from Belfast, though, even her beloved London has lost its charm, the wonderful city looks dull and her thought have been only getting louder, harder to tame and she knew whose fault it was.
Police Constable Danielle Ferrington, the young Irish that has been wreaking havoc in the DSI's perfect balanced life.
The young police officer who is way too pure and innocent to be on this job, a precious soul Stella wishes she could protect from this world's inevitable madness, someone she wants to protect from herself and the destruction she leaves in her wake.
She did, she protected Danni from her self-destructive persona by keeping her distance when what she really wanted was get closer, she mentored the girl – wishing nothing more than to make her see and believe in her true potential – and she saw the way the red headed looked at her, demonstrating just how little she knew about Stella, and how much she wanted to get burned by the older woman.
Ferrington's unwavering support was refreshing, she doesn't think she had anyone believe and protect her so blindly before, it was exhilarating an it was dangerous, perhaps even more than the serial killer she was there to catch.
So, she did what she did best: she compartmentalized. Every single person and feelings she took them and put it into tiny boxes and labeled them in her head, making it easier to access and deal with accordingly when it was time.
Danni, however, was not that easy, she was neither friend nor foe, because Stella didn't know her that well, but she wanted to. Good God, how she wanted to, however, as always have been she didn't because that's what she does when it's personal, if she wants – really wants, and not just for one moment – something or someone she does the complete opposite.
She wanted to invite Danni for drinks she invited Reed instead, kissed Reed – to try and save her from a rather insufferable man - and offered her a sweet night, she figured a beautiful, sexy and intelligent woman like the professor would make for a more than pleasant midnight companion – don't get her wrong, though, she respects the other woman and knows she is much more than a bed warmer – more than any of the men she fucked ever were – however she wanted to forget.
She asked Reed when in reality she wanted Ferrington – her hands all over her, her lips, her moans – wanted to press the constable against a wall and fuck her brainless and then, then she wanted to take the young woman's hand in hers and go to her hotel room where she would fuck her hard and desperately once more before finally indulging in her true desires and making love to the red head – worship her body the way she deserves, slowly, tenderly, softly, lovingly – everything one would never think Stella Gibson capable of – touching, caressing, kissing gently all the places she had bitten and sucked previously, soothing the stinging sensations, taming the fire within her lover and increasing her own.
In the end, she had gone back alone into her room and was left to fend for herself, no one but her to take care of her needs – she wanted to forget her and nevertheless, ended up calling Ferrington's name as she came, her wild imagination making her feel as though the younger woman was there with her as if the hands between her legs was hers instead of Stella's, as if the sweet nothings in her ears were Danni's actual words.
The longing for the constable ever growing deep within her, the need to have the other woman onto her, inside her, with her every moment of the day consuming her, making it difficult for her to keep at a safe distance.
She wants Danni, wants her entirely, wants her body, her soul, she wants lazy mornings and stolen kisses – all the things she never wanted before with anyone else. She wants Danni's "Yes, ma'am" – that always makes her knees weak – as Stella begs her for release – Please, Danni, please.
She wants the young woman's arms around her as she whispers that everything is going to be alright when the world is falling apart around them even if both are not really sure about it but will allow themselves this one moment of believing half-truths.
She wants to know Danni, she knows the type of person she is – a kindred spirit that doesn't know how to deal with the fact she killed a man in order to protect a dozen other lives, even if that's part of her duty; to serve and protect – that's not enough, she wants to know the Irish woman's darkest parts, her secrets, her fears. She wants it all.
She fucks Tom Anderson and like most he was a mistake, but she needed a distraction, her body ached for the other woman's touch and her soul screamed to be close to Danni, but she couldn't and wouldn't give into the feeling, just one more night of physical release before this Hell was over and she could get through it. And she did.
Once it was finished she packed her things up and was ready to leave Belfast and not to put her feet there so soon again, and just as she is about to leave the object of her unfounded affections just has to make an appearance, and how foolish was of Stella to think the other woman was going to simply let her leave without saying goodbye, she wouldn't, and the moment the constable wraps her arms around her something breaks inside her and even if she doesn't respond to the touch it does throws her off balance, as brief as it was.
Her home is comforting, for the first time though it feels too quiet and as she downs a second glass of wine - having just an hour ago come back from work after a day filled with too many paper work and masculine bullshit – phone in hand as she debates whether or not she should call – during her internal battle she remembers sending Danni and Anderson to London, and it makes her wonder if the young woman had ever visited her city for anything other than work, and as the question persists, her mind wanders and projects to her a smiling constable hand in hand with her as they visit her favorite places and learns more about each other.
Her fingers move by their own accord during her mind's momentary lapse and once she realizes it's too late to back away.
After two rings the other woman picks up. "Ma'am?" confusion is clear on her voice and it almost makes Stella hang up, but the detective was never one to back down easily, so despite the voices in her head telling her to stop she foregoes greetings and asks:
"Have you ever been to London, Danni?"
Thank you for reading it. Reviews are very much appreciated. I'm a writer, we live for it. :D