Full Summary: Shikamaru Nara's found the one code that he can't decode, and it's infuriating. His brain has always been able to solve his problems, and he begins to second guess everything that makes him a ninja. All of this remains hidden from everyone else until it's almost unbearable, and it's forced out of him in the form of a civilian named Koudowa.
Rating: K+ for now. There won't be anything warranting an M rating, but it might be lifted up to a T later on for fluffiness and safety.
Genres: If I could pick four genre's, I would. There will be romance, there will be angst, there will be comedy, and there will be drama. This site just doesn't allow me to publicly display this story as all four of those, so I'll just have to pick two.
Warnings: This is technically a slash story. However, naïve youngsters with virgins eyes...there is nothing to fear. This will be a slow moving story focused more on the plot instead of 'what kind of situation can I put these two in to get them to do the do?' There may be some kissing later on, but I can promise that it won't get any more PG13 than that.
Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own the rights to Naruto or Kishimoto's characters. I do, however, own a few of these characters. Anything that you don't recognize in the original series is probably created by me, but if you have any doubts you can always ask.
Decoded
8952 8952 8952
"I don't understand why."
Shikamaru stood in the middle of the Hokage's office, his eyes fixed on the blonde woman behind the desk even if he wasn't really seeing her. His mind was too distracted to take into account what he was seeing, and he didn't even notice that he wasn't taking in his surroundings until Tsunade snapped her fingers to get his attention, giving him a look that was stuck somewhere between understanding his frustration and being irritated at it.
Tsunade rested her elbows on the desk, which had become surprisingly clean over the past few months. Not all that long ago, it would have been normal to see towers of papers and folders littering the room. Everyone had been surprised at the change, but nobody dared to mention anything for fear of her realizing that she was actually doing work when she could have been drinking or gambling.
"What more is there to understand?" Tsunade asked as she leaned a little further back in her chair. If Shikamaru had been paying attention, he would have noticed the fond, motherly smile on her face as she watched his eyes stare off into his own world. It was rare to see such a smile, but Tsunade had been in a good mood today.
"It's never happened before," Shikamaru said, his voice filled with more emotion than Tsunade had ever seen him express since she met him. His eyebrows were pulled together in frustration and the corners of his mouth were slowly dropping down as he stood in deep thought. Anyone else may have thought he found the corner of the Hokage's desk to be particularly interesting, but Tsunade knew what he was thinking.
She had seen that look on many shinobi who were faced with a problem they couldn't solve. Helpless, angry, frustrated, distressed...every emotion had a way of making itself apparent, and the ninja was rarely even aware of it, too lost in their own thoughts to pay attention to what their expression was giving away.
It was made even worse when Tsunade knew that he was who everyone turned to when they needed their questions answered. Shikamaru shouldered the burden of being the best code breaker in Konoha – topping even Kakashi in his ability to look at a code and figure out what it meant or if it even meant anything at all - so Tsunade understood his mixed emotions.
He looked almost lost, although it was hard to distinguish the emotions that played across his face as his mind continued to whirl.
"Things happen; don't worry about some small troublesome thing like this," Tsunade said with a smile, expecting her choice of words to draw him out of his thoughts. It didn't have any effect on him, and he continued to stare at the corner of the desk.
She hadn't expected him to say anything – there wasn't much to say, was there? He couldn't break the code, and that was that.
"It's never happened before." His voice sounded robotic and Tsunade wondered if he knew what he was saying, or if his mouth was merely saying the only thing racing through his mind.
"You just said that." Tsunade smiled, fondly once again at the troubled and shocked Jounin who was now blinking like a startled deer.
"It happens to everybody." Shikamaru remained motionless, though his eyes flickered a bit. Tsunade sighed. "Look, I don't expect you to blow through every obstacle in your path without stumbling once in a while, okay? It's perfectly acceptable. Sometimes, our mistakes cost us our lives or our village. Konoha won't be in any danger because we have one coded scroll that we don't understand. I'd say that's something to be happy about."
The words made no sense in Shikamaru's head. How could he be happy about this? It was his job as a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf to finish his missions successfully, and when handed something that he excelled at, it was infuriating that he couldn't figure it out.
"It's never happened to me."
"Well, it did," Tsunade said, the firm grasp that held her patience loosening a bit. "What are you going to do about it?"
Shikamaru said nothing. That was a good question, and Shikamaru had no idea what the answer was. He couldn't simply move passed this...what if it happened again, and there was something more on the line than extra information? After his first mission as team leader, he had been determined to tackle every obstacle in his path if it was for the village. He felt his stomach twist and his mind was racing with more thoughts than usual, and it all had nothing to do with his hurt ego or pride. It felt as if there was physically something wrong with him, like the problems in his mind were manifesting themselves as physical aches and pains.
His thoughts were cut short by Tsunade's heavy sigh. "Go home, Shikamaru. Have some dinner and get some rest, then report to Ibiki's office in the Interrogation wing at nine tomorrow morning."
Tsunade watched as Shikamaru nodded once and turned to leave. She sat in her office for a moment after he shut the door behind him. There was definitely something wrong with him if he would be willing to get up that early without so much as calling her a troublesome woman.
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Shikamaru's feet carried him automatically out of the Hokage Tower and through the streets towards the civilian district, his mind still swimming with the fact that Tsunade wanted him to drop the code he was working on. Drop it! Just like that! He couldn't solve it and neither could anybody else in the village.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets after his slightly-delayed senses told him that his fingers were numb from the freezing cold air. The heat of his pockets burned his skin, but the sensation was welcomed, even if it was only a small distraction from his thoughts.
It was frustrating, infuriating, depressing... Shikamaru had never had so many emotions racing through him (well, since Asuma, at any rate) and his mind felt completely overwhelmed. It was like everything was holding his mind back from working properly. But thankfully, his body had already become accustomed to walking home, meaning that he didn't even have to think about where he was going to get there.
Since moving out, Shikamaru had tried living in several areas near other shinobi - it just seemed right to be around others like him. And each time he was either woken up at the ungodly hour of four in the morning by someone bursting through the wall or he was stuck listening to two people, uh, participating in a common stress-reliever. That's how Shikamaru had worded two people having ridiculously loud sex for an insanely long amount of time to his landlord when he had asked why Shikamaru could only manage to stay for one night.
He had tried several other areas in the main center of the village, and all ended the same; some better than others. But he had finally found a quiet area, and he wasn't sure how he hadn't thought of it before: the civilian district. Someone without large amounts of chakra or strength would have an extremely difficult time bursting in through the walls or kicking doors down, and even when they, uh, participated in a common stress-reliever, it was relatively easy to ignore.
Shikamaru was still lost in his thoughts as his feet brought him home that he was shocked when something rock hard pushed passed him, spinning him around and leaving his shoulder throbbing lightly.
"Sorry." The voice was familiar, so Shikamaru lifted his gaze off the ground in front of him to see Kakashi Hatake. Shikamaru briefly wondered why Kakashi's shoulders were so damn sharp when his attention was brought to the pink-haired girl next to him. Sakura had been standing beside him, but continued walking forward as if she didn't notice that her former sensei had stopped walking. Shikamaru watched her walk for a moment longer, taking in her appearance.
It was like he was looking at a completely different person. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, but it was hard to hide the fact that it had been horribly unkempt before she (or Kakashi) put it up. The small glimpse of her face he had gotten told him that the rest of her appearance wasn't any better. The bags under her eyes may have gotten a little lighter, but it still threw his stomach in a knot to see someone so strong - mentally and physically - look so lost and broken.
"'S okay," Shikamaru answered Kakashi lazily, finally looking away from Sakura. "How's she doing?" he added in a quieter tone.
Kakashi sighed, his only visible eye watching his last team mate sadly. The defeated sigh was answer enough, but Kakashi elaborated. "She's outside, so we're making progress." He nodded as if he were trying to convince himself that they were really on the right track to getting the old Sakura back.
Shikamaru nodded as well, feeling a pang of sympathy for both Sakura and Kakashi mix into his other emotions. Everyone had known that the outcome between Sasuke and Naruto wouldn't be good, but nobody had ever guessed that this would happen. After finding out what had happened himself through Ino - knowing that it wasn't the normal gossip that she passed on "with a twist" - he felt floored, and couldn't imagine how Sakura and Kakashi were handling it.
Everyone had been cursing the job of a shinobi, knowing that it had been her duty to her village to act as she did. And the weight of her job seemed to be suffocating her in every sense. Apparently, Kakashi was handling it for the both of them, and Sakura had merely shut down.
Kakashi continued to nod, watching the pink-haired girl walk slowly away. "How's Ino?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "Not sure, I haven't seen her in a while."
"If she's not busy, tell her to stop by. Sakura could really use the company." Kakashi glanced over at Shikamaru with a meaningful look, and Shikamaru nodded in response.
"I'll stop by the store and see if she's working. I've heard she's been helping her mom a lot."
"How's Yokia doing?"
Shikamaru shrugged again. "I think she's more annoyed that everyone is hovering over her."
"If my mom broke both of her hips, I'd hover over her too," Kakashi answered coolly, sliding his hands into his pockets. Shikamaru lifted one of his shoulders in a non-committal response. Added to the growing anger and frustration (and hopelessness) in Shikamaru's mind was guilt brought on by Kakashi mentioning Ino and her problems. He had stopped by once to see how she was holding up with her sick mother, but after that he had refrained from visiting the familiar flower shop or seeing his old team mate. His mind had been so busy at the time, swimming in numbers and letters, that he had completely forgot about his team.
"Well," Kakashi said with a sigh, "we're going to visit Lady Tsunade. Have you seen her lately?" Shikamaru nodded, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to help the conversation along towards something he didn't want to talk about – and talking about Tsunade could bring up Shikamaru's work, something he didn't want to talk about with someone who had better things to be thinking about. "How's she doing?"
"I think she's handling growing old well. I kind of – I dunno, expected her to go crazy over it or something. But she's doing okay. Doing paperwork," he added. Kakashi's eyebrow raised and he glanced down at Shikamaru before turning back to watch Sakura. Shikamaru briefly admired Kakashi's loyalty and devotion to his old team – even if they weren't active anymore - something that Shikamaru felt that he, himself, was lacking at the moment.
"She never used to do paperwork," Kakashi commented.
Shikamaru shrugged. "I think Shizune's finally gotten to her. I haven't seen her drink in a while, too."
Kakashi let out a breath of air that sounded almost like a chuckle. "It's like a whole new person. I'd better go. It was nice catching up."
"Same here," Shikamaru nodded to Kakashi as he jogged up to Sakura. Turning his back on the two, he fished around in the pockets of his flak vest until he found the familiar box. Pulling it out, Shikamaru slipped a cigarette between his lips, lit it, and continued to walk forward.
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"You're out of bed," Ino stated suspiciously.
"I'd hoped that you would have gained some better observational skills by now."
Shikamaru had stood outside of the Yamanaka Flower Shop for nearly ten minutes before going inside, debating every few seconds if Ino would even want to see him after he had ignored her for so long. Instead of getting punched, slapped, kicked, screamed at or cried at, Shikamaru was shocked that Ino greeted him with a friendly smile as if nothing had ever happened.
"It's just shocking."
"Not that shocking," he answered defensively. Ino raised an eyebrow at him. Well, he assumed she did by the look in her eye, since her eyebrow was always covered up by her large bangs. He sighed in defeat and Ino happily went back to arranging the flowers that she had spread out over the counter.
"You're smoking again." This time, Ino's voice had a hint of warning, and it reminded him scarily of his mother.
"Not that shocking," Shikamaru said, trying to blow off the subject.
"Are you even trying to quit?"
"I did try," Shikamaru said matter-of-factly, "and I didn't like it."
Ino rolled her eyes and spun around to grab several blue flowers off of the display behind her. "You aren't supposed to like it."
"Why should I give up something I like in favor of something I don't like?"
"Because it's unhealthy."
"I feel unhealthier without it," Shikamaru said, ignoring the exasperated look Ino sent him.
"That's the nicotine talking, you idiot."
Shikamaru merely rolled his eyes. How many times had they gone over this? It must have been several hundred by now, so why was she still trying to convince him to give up smoking when it was obviously a losing battle? The woman was more persistent that he had given her credit for.
"Hey," Ino said quietly. Shikamaru tilted his head to look at her and became a little wary at the smirk on her face. "You didn't call me a 'troublesome woman' this time."
"I thought it."
"Yeah, yeah." Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"I saw Sakura today." Ino turned around quickly to grab some more flowers from the display case behind the counter, taking several minutes to pick up flowers only to put them right back down. Shikamaru waited patiently for her to turn back around, and when she did he wasn't surprised to find that her face was completely void of all emotions. She was careful to keep a frown off her face, and her eyes were staring down at the flowers on the counter, even though she wasn't making a move to touch them.
Finally, she took a slow breath. "How'd she look?"
"Do you want honesty or do you want me to make you feel better about not visiting her?" he asked pointedly, watching her reaction to his words. Ino's eyes flashed, but whatever she was feeling at the moment was lost on Shikamaru. Guilt and anger, if he had to make a guess.
"Well, since you've already made me feel like crap, I'll go with honesty," Ino smiled bitterly at Shikamaru before roughly grabbing several flowers off the counter. A few petals fell off as they were yanked from the surface and she quickly brushed them off onto the ground at her feet.
"It looks like she's barely hanging on." That look on Ino's face wasn't difficult for Shikamaru to decipher; hurt. He felt an odd mix of pain and satisfaction at making her feel so guilty about abandoning her friend in such a dire situation. "I don't know what would have happened if Kakashi wasn't there to help her."
"He's sticking with her?" Ino asked, her voice oddly quiet.
Shikamaru nodded. "He was taking her to see Lady Tsunade."
A brief look of confusion passed over Ino's face before she could hide it. "They're running more tests?" Ino asked, unable to hide the hint of hopefulness in her voice, and Shikamaru heard it in every word.
"Ino, I don't think the tests will reveal anything different. I think they're just trying to get her to open up a bit so that she can start to heal." Shikamaru kept his voice low. "It'll take a long time, though. And I think maybe seeing her old best friend would really help her through this."
"It's been a while-"
"So don't make her wait longer." Shikamaru never felt more like a hypocrite. He had just been standing outside, telling himself that it had been too long to go and see Ino, and now he was standing there, acting as if his mind had never ran through those exact thoughts.
"What if she's mad?" Ino asked, and Shikamaru was momentarily floored by the hopelessness he heard in his old team mates voice. Ino had always been loud, brash, obnoxious...but never hopeless.
Shikamaru didn't answer. He didn't have an answer.
"Excuse me, I'm ready." A woman brushed passed Shikamaru and set her flowers down on the counter, slamming her purse down beside it. The sudden noise made Shikamaru jump, and Ino was forced to look away from the counter to send the woman a fake smile as she charged her for the flowers.
"I'd better go," Shikamaru said, pushing himself away from the counter, "I'll see you later." Ino nodded, not looking at Shikamaru as she wrapped the flower stems in a bright-colored paper.
The bells hanging over the door rang as he opened and shut the door behind him. He glanced back through the glass pane on the door to see Ino handing the woman the flowers, another fake smile adorning her face.
Shikamaru shook his head and turned back around, stepping out of the way as the old woman stepped out onto the street beside him. Shikamaru glanced around the street, immediately regretting doing so as his eyes landed on the house across from the flower shop.
His eyes caught it before his mind could stop him or force him to look away. But he had already seen it, and the image of the white address numbers was burned into his mind. Those numbers meant something, and he knew it. How many hours has Shikamaru spent pouring over those four numbers, knowing that they meant something but unable to figure it out? Knowing that if he could just figure out what they meant that he could figure out what the letter was saying. His mind was sent back into that frenzy that he had only just escaped, the rest of the letters and numbers flying through his mind.
Shikamaru glanced back at the numbers beside the front door - 8952 - before turning abruptly away and heading back home.
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1. For those of you who aren't familiar with my other stories, I've decided to start doing Author's notes like this, since it will help them be more organized and hopefully easier to read.
2. This is my first full-length Shikamaru story, since I normally base my stories around Kakashi...and he will also have a small roll in this story. I love Shikamaru, and until now have only enjoyed reading stories about him. I haven't, however, found too many Shikamaru OC slash stories (and yes, this will be slash). If you have any suggestions I would love to hear about it so I can check them out
3. I'm also working on having longer chapters. I've been reading some amazing stories on here and somehow these authors manage to have several thousand word chapters that still retain their good-quality-ness...which is what I'm aiming for. Anyway, I'm working on a new technique for starting to write a chapter as well, so I hope it works out. If anyone is wondering what it is, feel free to ask. I really like chatting with people about writing styles and techniques.
4. Seriously, though, I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. I'm writing it with quite some pride, since I used to write three pages (on Microsoft Word) and this is nine. Improvement? I think so. :)
5. The OC won't enter until the third chapter. So for now, sit back and enjoy some good Shikamaru-ness.