From the promo we see that Lux tells Cate that Baze has feelings for her. Let's just pretend that scenes already happened and this is what happens next.
Oh and the title of the story is a OneRepublic song. I thought it was fitting...apathy being an absence of emotion or enthusiasm. Well, you'll see why by the end :)
Goodbye Apathy
It's 3:30pm. Cate and Ryan's rehearsal dinner starts at 7, so Baze has already started to rearrange the bar. He moves another table to the side and stops to take a breather. He looks over at the pool table in the middle of the room and groans inwardly. Why is he doing this? Well he knew why - because Lux had volunteered him. Of course he could have said no, but saying no would have meant giving a reason. And he couldn't tell that reason to anyone, especially Cate or Ryan.
So here he is, moving his bar furniture around, trying to make it a somewhat passable setting for a rehearsal dinner. As he walks over to the pool table, bracing himself for what he is about to have to move, he hears a soft knock from the door. Before he turns around, he hears her voice.
"Baze, can we talk?" He can already hear her footsteps moving into the bar, and towards him. She can't believe she's actually doing this, but before she could talk herself out of it, she had already been in her car driving towards his bar. A part of her just really had to know. But then what? Did it even matter?…she wasn't sure.
He quickly spins around. "Yeah, what's up?" He tries to sound as normal as possible.
He realises this conversation is going to be anything but normal when he sees the serious expression on her face.
She doesn't speak for a moment, and he waits patiently, albeit a little anxiously.
Then she says it. "Are you in love with me?" She doesn't mean for it to be the first thing she says, but it kind of just comes out.
Baze freezes, his mouth is half open. Even in his own mind, his own thoughts, he hadn't really used the word love…they were just feelings. How was he supposed to tell her whether he was in love with her or not, if he didn't even know himself?
"Cate…" He says it pleadingly, but she doesn't say anything. She's just staring at him, waiting - demanding an answer.
He runs a hand roughly through his unruly dark hair. "…I don't know."
Her eyes turn bewildered. "You don't know?" She sounds a little hysterical, but he can tell she's trying to stay calm.
She shakes her head, annoyed at him, but also herself. "That's not good enough. And you know it." She regrets putting herself in this situation. Again.
The last time she had confronted him about his feelings for her, he had blown her off. Told her he had lied so he could break up with her sister. It all seemed like one big joke to him.
"Cate…" His voice brings her back out of her head, and when her eyes meet his she feels her breath catch in her throat. He looks so lost. She has to mentally stop herself from reaching out and touching him.
Immediately she feels angry at herself. Why does he have that power over her? She is a full-grown woman, with a fiance.
"Look Baze. I'm getting married tomorrow. I'm happy with Ryan."
Cate looks up at him before continuing, "And I don't know what's going on right now with you, but…" She pauses, taking in a small breath. "..can we please just forget this conversation ever happened? I just want to move on from this, okay?"
"Okay." It falls softly from his lips. He's prepared to do whatever she wants.
"Okay." She repeats, relieved. "I've gotta go. But I'll see you tonight. And thank-you for letting us have it at your bar."
As soon as the door closes behind her, Baze lets out a deep shaky breath. He had wanted to shout out to her as she walked away from him. Tell her to stay. Give him a chance. But he couldn't. It wasn't what she wanted; even if it was what he wanted, more than anything.
***
The time goes quickly and before long, it's already 6:30. Baze has finally finished setting up his bar and goes upstairs to quickly change. By 6:45 he's dressed and downstairs getting all the plates and cutlery out. Cate, Ryan, Lux and Cate's mum finally turn up and help him with the finishing touches.
Then the guests are arriving.
The night goes fairly smoothly. Baze tries to avoid Cate and Ryan, and for the most part is successful.
Just after midnight, most of the guests have left, and the ones that are left are slowly filtering out. The only people that are left are Baze, Cate, Ryan and Lux.
"Thank God that's over." Cate says leaning against Ryan. He's whispering something in her ear and she's giggling.
Baze realises he's never really seen her giggle like that before. All girly-like and in love. He also realises that he's staring at her, and quickly looks away. Luckily she or Ryan didn't notice.
But someone else does.
Baze quickly moves over to the bar, clearing up a few empty drinks left on the counter. As he's wiping down some left over moisture he feels someone hovering behind him.
"So, I saw you staring at her."
Baze turns around, "Shhhhh." He whispers, his eyes darting over to the happy couple. They didn't seem to have heard, but nonetheless he quickly pulls Lux behind the bar with him. "You can't say anything okay?"
"Baze, seriously. If you have feelings for Cate, you have to tell her."
"Why? What's the point? If she had feelings for me, then she wouldn't be getting married to Ryan tomorrow."
"But Baze…"
"No Lux, I'm not talking about this with you anymore, okay. Just drop it." He comes across more harsh than he intended and quickly softens his voice. "Please."
Lux is about to say something again when Ryan shouts out. ""Clean-up time!"
Both Baze and Lux look over at Ryan, and Baze takes this as his chance to get away from Lux's prying questions.
"You know what guys? Leave it to me. Go home, get your rest - you'll need it. And take blondy with you too."
"Baze, no, we can't leave you with all this mess." Cate pipes up, her eyes skimming over all the dirty plates and cutlery.
"It's fine Cate, seriously, take it as my wedding present to you."
"Really?" Cate says, almost surprised at his courtesy.
"Well, seeing as I'm not getting you anything." He added smiling.
"Of course. Well, in that case, goodnight." She replies, smiling back. They had been on shaky ground at the beginning of the rehearsal dinner, but everything seemed okay now. Not great though. Definitely not great…
"Are you sure Baze?" Ryan asks.
"Yes. Now get out of here!" Baze says shooing them out. "And I'll see you tomorrow." Lux gives him a wary glare before he shuts the door behind them. He looks over his bar, or what used to be his bar and decides the clean-up can wait till tomorrow.
He tries to push away everything that's been buzzing around his mind, but it keeps forcing its way to the forefront. Cate was actually getting married tomorrow. There was no hiding from it anymore. It was happening, whether he liked it or not.
***
When he wakes, the sun has already been up for hours. He slowly moves around his bedroom, picking up any article of clothing that smells relatively clean. He drags himself out into the kitchen, where Math is making himself a sandwich.
"So, big day today, huh?" Math quips, as Baze sits down on one of the stools.
"What?" Baze says sleepily before processing the question properly, "Uh no, why would it be? It's not my wedding."
"Because the bride is the mother of your child, and the groom is the potential step-dad to your daughter."
"Right, thanks for reminding me." He says sarcastically.
"Seriously though Baze. What is going on with you and Cate?"
"What?" Baze says sitting up. "What makes you say that?"
"Are you kidding me? There has been some weird tension between you guys for like the last few weeks."
"No there hasn't…"
"Dude. Take it from someone who has watched Cate extensively and knows her moods, she's acting really weird around you."
"First of all, do you realise how weird you sound when you say something like that. And second of all, that's from her side then. I'm fine."
Math sighs, apparently Baze is going to be particularly thick and stubborn today. "Take it from someone who has known YOU for about 18 years - you're acting weird around Cate too."
"Look, I don't know Math, okay? And it doesn't matter, she's getting married. Just give it up." Baze says, growing annoyed at his friend's morning antics.
Math raises his arms in surrender. "Fine Baze, I'm just trying to help."
"Why aren't you all torn up today. After all, the love of your life is getting married." Baze says teasingly, his mood picking up a bit.
"Ha ha ha. Look, I like Cate, but I know that she will never see me that way…. But man, if you do have feelings-"
"Woah, who told you about feelings. There are no feelings." Baze says over defensively.
"Okay okay, I'm just saying…if there were hypothetical feelings, as a hypothetical friend, I would suggest that you hypothetically tell her."
"Man it's way too early for your hypotheticals that don't make sense. You lost me after 'okay'."
Math shakes his head, giving up. He grabs his sandwich and heads over to the couch. Baze gets up, grabs the cereal and pours it into a semi clean bowl. He gets the milk from the fridge and drenches his corn flakes. Sitting back down on the stool he gratefully eats his breakfast in peace. It was way too early to be thinking about feelings.
***
The wedding was in the afternoon, so by the time Baze had actually gotten up, eaten and showered, he may as well have put his suit on. However, he was still trying to figure out a way to get out of going, so he hadn't. Instead he was laying on his couch in a pair of old sweatpants and his I'd Tap That shirt. Abby had just returned it, and it was the only clean shirt he had.
"Oh my god Baze. Why aren't you dressed?" It was his teenage daughter.
"Lux. Go away, leave me be."
"Stop being so melodramatic. Get up. You cannot miss their wedding."
"Why? Why do they even want me there…to rub my nose in it?"
Lux rolls her eyes. "Because you're my dad, and I want you there. And I know Cate and Ryan want you there too - you're apart of their family, kind of…in a weird way."
"Wow, you're really selling it to me Lux." Baze muffled, his face in a pillow.
"Fine. But don't blame me when Cate won't talk to you ever again. She's going hate you for not coming."
"Who cares if she hates me. She might as well."
"Baze, just admit it. I know that you lo-."
"-I do not love her." He interrupts.
But maybe he does. He's not so sure anymore. He has been thinking about it a lot lately, especially since Cate asked him to define his feelings for her and he couldn't.
"Then come to the wedding." Lux insists.
"….no."
She sits down on the edge of the couch. "Baze…you love her." And maybe it's the way Lux says it, he doesn't know, but suddenly he realises it. He knows it. He loves Cate.
He's probably known all along, but he's finally acknowledged it and he doesn't even know why.
Baze can't speak, and they sit their in silence. Lux is waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't.
Thinking she has gotten nowhere, she decides to leave. After all, she is already half an hour late to getting ready at Cate's. Mostly because of her out-of-the way pit-stop here.
"Well, I'm going. But I hope you come." She walks towards the door, and stops to see if he's going to reply. Realising he's not, she opens the door and walks out.
Baze groans into his pillow.
He loves Cate…
He feels angry at himself. What good is that now?
It's too late.
It's too damn late.
***
The wedding is going surprisingly smoothly. Nothing is spilt on the dress, everyone's hair looks great, make-up is flawless and now all that's left is to get Cate married.
Lux watches anxiously through a curtain to see if Baze has showed up. He hasn't.
She tries to call him on his cell, but keeps getting his voice mail. Around the fiftieth time she tries to call him and gets his voice mail, she hangs up frustratedly.
"Is everything okay? Who are you trying to call?" Cate asks while her mum fusses around her for no apparent reason.
"Uh, no one. I mean not no one...just a friend."
"It's Baze isn't it." Cate says, seeing right through her daughter's lie. "He's not coming, is he." Lux is surprised at how disheartened Cate actually looks.
"No I'm sure he will. He's probably just got no battery or something. Don't worry about it."
Cate gives Lux a reassuringly smile. "I'm fine Lux, really. Whether or not Baze comes doesn't bother me. This day is not about Baze. It's about me and Ryan."
***
As the music starts, Lux listens for her cue to start walking down the aisle. As the piano notes begin, she opens the doors. Everyone stands up and smiles as she walks down the aisle. When she reaches the alter, she stands to one side and immediately looks for Baze, but she can't see him. She involuntarily frowns. Quickly realising that some people are still looking at her she quickly puts a big smile back on. At that moment, the bride appears at the doorway.
Lux chances a glance over at Ryan, to see him positively beaming. She looks back at Cate, who looks absolutely stunning. She's also has a wide smile spread across her face.
Cate reaches the alter with her mother and Ryan takes her hand. He guides her up the few stairs and they come to stand right before the priest. As Ryan is saying his vows to Cate and then Cate back to Ryan, Lux realises that maybe they are meant to be. Maybe it is for the best that Baze didn't tell Cate how he felt…
Then the doors, that were a moment before closed tightly shut, burst open. The priest lets out a small gasp as the doors make quite a loud bang as they hit the walls on either side.
It's Baze.
He starts to walk down the aisle, then stops. Lux has a sick feeling in her stomach. This was not what she meant when she told him to tell Cate about his feelings. She takes a quick look at Cate and Ryan, who both look shell shocked.
For a moment Lux hopes that maybe Baze is just late and in a second he is about to apologize and quickly take his seat.
"Please... don't marry him Cate."
Lux groans. Obviously not.
He's standing about halfway down the aisle, and he's staring directly at Cate, trying to read her expression.
Everyone else is silent.
He can see the realisation of what is happening, what he's doing, spread quickly across her face. She let's go of Ryan's hands and turns to face him. She suddenly looks angry. Really angry.
"No…no…….no…….NO." She surprises even herself when she starts to shout.
Baze is clearly taken back by her hostility.
"Why are you doing this?" Her voice isn't as loud anymore, but she sounds furious. "Why now Baze?"
He looks at her helplessly. "Cate…"
"No. You don't get to come here, literally just before I get married and tell me not to." She's shaking her head, tears have started to fall down her cheeks. "No. You don't get to do that to me."
He doesn't know what to say... he knows this is the worst possible timing. He knows that she may never speak to him again. But he has to do this. He has to tell her.
He loves her.
"I gave you a chance. I already gave you a chance to tell me how you feel and you didn't. So what are you doing? Why are you doing this to me right now?" A look of exasperation fills Cate's face.
He takes another step forward before saying to her what he should've told her earlier that day. What he should've told her weeks ago. "I love you Cate."
The emotion in her face is unreadable. She looks pale though.
"You need to leave Baze." Her response doesn't really come as much of a surprise to him. But when she says it her voice isn't angry or aggressive; she looks tired, and her voice is laced with pain and frustration.
He wants to say something more, but he knows he's done enough damage. And the way she's looking at him right now, all broken…he feels a sinking feeling in his stomach and he wants to kick something…really hard. He gives her one last look, trying to show her how he feels but she looks away. So he turns, defeated, and walks back down the aisle.
He can feel the eyes of people in the pews staring at him as he leaves. But he could care less.
***
He drives home, not even aware of what is really going on. He can feel the anger beginning to burn inside of him. He grips the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white and his palms are all clammy. When he finally reaches the bar, he gets out, slamming the door, unable to control himself.
As soon as he walks into the bar, it's still all set up from the rehearsal dinner. Without a second thought he runs at the tables and desks knocking them over, kicking them, throwing them, anything that will make him forget. He starts to smash the plates, the glasses; he's throwing anything he can get his hands on across the room. He grows tired though, and after everything is in ruins, he slumps to the ground. He's so exhausted he can't even cry.
He's sitting in the middle of all the crap he's broken and smashed when the door opens, slowly. He doesn't bother to look up. It's probably just one of the guys, or someone looking for directions. Either way, he doesn't care.
It's when he hears her voice that his body stiffens and his head lifts up.
She's standing in the doorway, a light is streaming through behind her and she almost looks like an angel. He lets out a laugh. He was going mad. Great. He was actually clinically insane.
It's only when she walks towards him that he stops laughing like a mad man and completely freezes.
"What…how.." He says it slowly. She has lifted up her wedding dress to try and get through all the mess that stands between them.
He's in such a state of shock he can't even move. He can only stare at her as she gradually gets closer and closer to him.
"Cate…"
Finally she looks up at him, blue meets brown and he can feel his body coming alive again.
She reaches him and instead of him getting up, she sits down next to him. She hasn't said anything yet, and her face is still contorted with a mix of confusion, pain and frustration.
She's sitting so close to him, her dress is splayed out around her and some of it is resting on him.
"Baze, what you did…what you said…" She's looking down into her lap, her hands fidgeting.
She falls silent again.
"Cate, what are you doing here?" He finds his voice, as he continues to stare at her, still bewildered.
She's kind of shaking her head, and then she throws her hands up in exasperation. "I don't know. I don't..God Baze, this is your fault..." A few stray tears fall down her cheeks.
He turns his body to face hers. "You didn't get married?"
She looks up at him, sighing internally, of course he would still ask her a question like that, "No, I didn't."
When she looks up at him, he can tell she's hurting. A lot.
Baze doesn't know why, but he suddenly has an overwhelming urge to kiss her. And before he can suppress it, his arm is lifting and his hand is reaching out for her cheek. She doesn't try to move away, and he can't help but feel relieved. His hand is wet from her tears but he doesn't care, because she's here, and she's not getting married.
He's slowly leaning in, and she's slowly leaning in. The kiss is slow. Almost fearfully at first, but then his urgency wanes, and all his senses peak, flutter and swell at the slow moves of her lips against his. The way her fingertips feel so soft against the outline of his jaw, and then return back to his hair. It's unlike their other kisses, from the night after Lux came back into their lives. This time it means something more.
He pulls back first, gently moving his lips from hers but keeping their foreheads touching. He can see a fresh set of tears starting to fall in her eyes, and quickly wipes them away.
He wraps his arms around her and she falls into his embrace. "Everything is so messed up…" She whispers.
"We'll get through it. Okay? We'll get through it together, as a family." He says it firmly, and he believes it.
He can feel her nod against his neck. They don't move for a long time, both just trying to seek solace in the other, and forget everything else.
As they break apart, he looks her in the eye. "What does this mean?" He needs to hear it from her.
"Baze…" She says reluctantly.
"Cate, look at us. After everything, you have to tell me why."
"I know, I just…I'm here aren't I?"
"Yeah, I guess you are." He kind of smiles, and she kind of smiles back. She hasn't said it, but like she said, she is here with him. And for right now, that's enough.
Because honestly, he'll take whatever he can get.