A/N: Hello people! Some may remember me, others may not have ever known who I was, but that's okay. I've written other stories before but I took them down (I'd rather you not ask why), but I came back with this in mind. This fic was inspired by a video Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies posted. Anybody ever see the one where they both prank phone called Avan Jogia? Liz did the talking while Ariana tried her best not to laugh and ruin the prank lol. Just go to YouTube and type in "Ari and Liz prank call Avan" and there you go. I highly suggest you watch that video in order to see where I'm coming from with this fic, just the voices and these conversations and everything. There are parts I've added in myself so I could make it stretch. Anyway, I'd like to thank Ariana and Liz for giving me this idea.
Btw, this fic is slightly AU. You'll see why.
Disclaimer: I do not own vicTORious© or any of its characters. My brain just gave birth to the idea from a video that actually took place with real people that portray these characters. It's almost like Inception; an idea has been planted in my mind…was that confusing? I didn't think so… Enjoy.
Today was an average day for Jade West. Classes were slow, especially physics and algebra, but Sikowitz's class was much appreciated. She had just left school and was heading home in her midnight blue '69 Camaro. Her parents were going out of town on business trips (the usual), so that meant she'd be stuck at home alone. But today was average- in other words, boring- so she decided to spend the next few nights over at Cat's house.
As expected, upon entering the house she quickly found that it was completely void of other human life, so Jade made her way upstairs to her bedroom to pack three nights worth of clothes and other things. After chucking her necessities into the duffle bag, she stopped to glance at her odd collection of body parts she called her tchotchkes* that lined the shelves. Blue eyes scanned over the jars and stopped at the fatty lump from a random cab driver. She smirked and grabbed the jar and placed it gingerly in the bag. Jade loved getting Cat to obey her by threatening the poor redhead with her jars of oddities. She once made Cat stick her hand in a bucket full of dead spiders…why Cat is still her best friend remains a mystery.
Jade froze for a second to mentally go over her checklist of things she needed to bring with her, realizing she had everything necessary she took off downstairs and walked through the front door and unlocked her car door. After placing her duffle bag in the passenger seat she went around to the driver's seat and started up the car, hooking up her iPod to the radio and blasting Evans Blue, then pulled out of the driveway.
The ride to Cat's house isn't that far, maybe only about a ten minute drive. She parked the car just in front of the house, actually being considerate towards the Valentines by not parking in their driveway or blocking it whatsoever…you'd be surprised how many ignorant people do that… Completely unlike Jade, Cat had given her a spare key to the house, so Jade drops in at any moments notice and makes herself at home. She does just that and climbs the stairs to Cat's room.
"I'm here, yay," Jade said rather dryly. Cat immediately jumps from her bed to lock her Goth friend in a tight hug.
"Jadey! I'm glad you're spending the whole weekend with me!" Jade squirms her way out of the redhead's clutches and puts on a sour face.
"Cat, you've just seen me at school not even an hour ago, must you hug me every time you see me?" But Cat being Cat, she pays no mind to Jade's rude behavior; she's immune to it.
"Sorry, you know how excited I get when you stay over. It's actually a great distraction from my brother." She twirled her fingers through the ends of her hair and looked at Jade innocently before opening her mouth again, "Speaking of my brother-"
"Ah! Don't mention a single word about your brother and his antics," she interrupted while holding up a hand. She walked over to the bed and sat at the foot of it and just sighed. "Entertain me, I'm bored already."
"Okay!" Cat lit up at the idea of Jade suggesting that she suggest something. "How about we play tea party with Mr.-"
"No."
"Well, how does singing karaoke sound?"
"Not interested."
"Board games?"
"Barf."
"Video games?"
"Not the ones you own."
"Um…" she was starting to run out of fun things she normally liked to do. Jade was not an easy person to entertain. You know how stupidity sparks our interest? Like say reality shows, watching someone pull dangerous stunts, or drinking dirty fish water? Yeah, doesn't really sit well with Jade West. Except maybewatching people hurt themselves.
"I have an idea. It'll kill some time before I actually decide to do my homework…" Jade smirked, but Cat had an uneasy feeling in her stomach.
Cat hurried and raced up the steps to her room and dove straight onto her bed. Jade was right behind her but didn't bother running away like Cat had. Instead she casually stepped into the room trying to catch her breath as she was laughing hysterically. Cat looked up from her "hiding place", which was underneath her hands, and pouted at Jade.
"Was that really necessary? Now my little neighbors are going to think I'm mean and bad just like you! They won't want to play tea party with me anymore."
"Oh you overreact. I'm sure you'll still have friends over…elementary friends…" Jade had spent the past hour tormenting the kids that live on Cat's block. She threw water balloons and flour at them, chased them with the lawn mower, chucked wet paper towels at them, and painted black patches on some poor kid's playhouse and planted the paintbrush at another kid's house. What up with that?
It took a few minutes for Jade to stop gasping for breath, and clumsily stammered onto Cat's bed, with said girl just staring down at Jade; face filled disappointment and worry. It was quiet for a moment. Jade laid down and stared at the ceiling with a hand placed on her stomach.
"I still want to do something else. And for once, it's completely juvenile. I need random numbers." She shot up from the bed and bolted downstairs and stood directly in front of the refrigerator. Cat's mom had a decent length of contacts posted on the fridge for Cat and her brother's benefit, contacts ranging from close friends and doctors and such. Jade grabbed her phone and started punching in a number, making sure to block hers. As the phone started ringing she went back up to Cat's room, signaling her to keep quiet.
"Hello?" came a light voice on the other end. Given that though, Jade could tell she was an adult.
Jade immediately responded in the best southern accent she could come up with and said, "Why yes, hello Dr. Johnson! How've ya been? I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
"Um, I think you have the wrong number."
"Oh yer such a kidder, Dr. Johnson! Ya make me laugh, that's why yer the best! Listen, we need ta hurry up an' plan this here C-section. When can ya fit me in yer schedule?"
"Really, you have the wrong-"
"Hahahaha! You and yer jokes Dr. Johnson! Y'know, I was thinking of naming the baby after you. How does Mona Decatur Fitzgerald sound ta you?"
"First of all, that's a HIDEOUS name. Second, I'm not-"
"Again with the jokes Dr. Johnson! You gon' make this here baby pop right outta me if I keep laughing like this!"
"Ew!"
Jade tried her hardest not to laugh at this woman's reaction, she had her on speaker so it was a bit difficult for Cat to do the same.
"Oh this is gon' be one SPECIAL delivery, I can jus' feel it Dr. Johnson!"
"Who is it that you really want to speak to, huh? Who are you talking to?"
"Why I'm talking ta YOU Dr. Johnson!" And with that the stranger hung up. Both Cat and Jade bust out laughing so hard they turned red in the face and were practically choking on air.
"Oh God, Jade…you're crazy!" Cat just barely managed to get out in her fit of laughter.
"Whoo! Who knew that that'd be fun? Juvenile, but fun," Jade said as she wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks. She surprised herself; it was completely out of character for her to do a prank like this, but she enjoyed the hell out of it.
"Okay, I got another number from that list, but I want to switch the numbers around a little bit." She did just that, mixed different ones around and came up with a new one. "Alright, it's ringing. Be quiet." About four rings were heard until another voice of a female came on the other end. This time, the voice was from a teenage girl.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Hello? Who is this?"
"Uh, you called me. Is this Danny?"
"No, it's someone different. I'm not messin' around. You get over here an' pay what's due ta my family."
On the other end the stranger just shrugs and lightly sighs into the receiver, a smile playing across her face; she opens her mouth and tries to match the accent she hears as best she can, "An' just what is that ya filthy vermin?"
"I want what's deserved ta me, I sold you my horse."
"I don't know nothing bout a horse."
"I want my horse back or I want my money back. The decision is yours."
"Alright fine. Ya got me. Ya very persuasive, Sirrr. I can't deny it. But I have ta get my Pappy in on this deal."
"Tell your father ta get the money. Tell him ta give it all."
"How much ya talkin' bout Sirrr?"
Jade stopped for a second, she didn't expect this girl to be keeping this up, and for this long too. She was quite impressed. She kept a smirk nonetheless and continued. "We're talkin' two hunerd of them delightful green faces."
"Why that sounds pretty steep. I don't know if I wanna give up that handsome pony fer two hunerd of them 'delightful green faces.' You gon' have ta do better than that Sirrr."
"You drive a hard bargain, lil lady. Alright, I'll settle fer 50 of them delightful green faces, corn with biscuits an' gravy, an' a soda pop."
"Why you have yerself a deal there, Mr. Sirrr!"
Suddenly, Jade and the stranger start laughing into the phone, more tears running down their faces. "Oh my God. I can't believe you actually played along with that!" Jade said while still cackling. "You HAVE to tell me your name."
The girl was calming down from her laughter as well, running a hand through her hair and gladly told her new "prank buddy" her name. "It's Tori."
"Tori…well nice to 'meet' you, I guess, Tori. My name's Jade."
"Nice to 'meet' you, too. You're very funny. I have to say, you DEFINITELY made my whole WEEK."
"Well I'm glad I could put a smile on your face…wow. I still can't believe this happened. I'm not going to lie, I was bored so I was doing all kinds of things. Before I called you I did another prank call. Let's just say in this very moment I have no life."
Jade could hear Tori chuckle and it got her to do it as well. Cat was still sitting by Jade's side and looked about very curiously. Jade was never friendly to ANYBODY, and for her to be laughing and sharing a giggle with this complete stranger, well…it was mind boggling. But she smiled a big smile and couldn't help but feel like her Goth friend was smitten, despite the fact that there was no face or any details to this stranger other than her name.
"Hey I feel like that sometimes. I've done a few prank phone calls myself before."
"Really? We should get together sometime and combine our brains or something. We'd make prankers history."
There was that chuckle again. It sounded really pretty and captivating to Jade. She just kept surprising herself more and more today.
"I believe I've just made a new friend. Well, you called my cell phone and luckily not my house phone. Wanna exchange each other's numbers and send pics for our contacts?"
"Aw, I hate taking pictures. Believe it or not, I don't take many, mostly because my friends want to take them together. I'm not touchy feely with them and if they suggest I take one by myself I decline…I don't like posing for them."
"Well that's okay. We can still save each other's numbers and maybe meet up somewhere sometime so we can formally meet. Sound cool?"
"Sure, I'll text you my number in a bit. Are you doing anything today?"
Tori bit her bottom lip and checked the time, it was almost six in the evening. "Aw man, I can't today. My parents are having a family dinner here at my house. It'll be like a host of aunts, uncles, and cousins coming over. I have work all day tomorrow, and I volunteer at a hospital on Sundays. Maybe sometime next week?"
"I'll see if I have the time. I'm working on a play for school and I'll be super busy." She lightly chuckled into the phone, "I don't know how we're going to do this."
"It's fine, Jade. We'll find the time to hang out. No worries."
Jade was taken aback by this girl, it's like she came out of nowhere, even though she was the one to call her first. Yep, all by happenstance. But it was a good thing. This girl Tori seemed so down to earth, light tempered, and almost carefree. Here she was talking to a stranger that called her with such absurdity and now they're talking as if they've known each other for years.
"…You're so cool about all this…"
"Yeah well, life's too short to be taken seriously. I'm kind of glad this happened- the call and us in a way making a new friend. And if you find you're still too busy this week, that's fine too. We'll make it work."
She could practically hear the genuine smile Tori was giving. "Yeah…"
"So…I want to know more about you. Where do you go to school?"
"Hollywood Arts. What about you?"
"I go to Sherwood…"
A/N: And that's it for this chapter folks! I'll be writing the second one soon. Please let me know what you guys think about this. Before you do, please take the time to read what's right after this.
*That ridiculously stupid T word you saw at the beginning, yeah…did you know that's an actual word? It's spelled SO stupid, but it's also spelled right, in case you thought I had a seizure in the time I wrote that one word and magically turned out fine again. Lol if you don't believe me look it up online or up in the dictionary, but make sure it literally says COLLEGE DICTIONARY. The "Oxford" dictionary I own does not contain that word. How dumb.
FYI: That first prank Jade pulled on that woman, I actually did in real life lol. Yeah, just like Jade had said, I have no life so that's why I did it lol. Only difference was the woman seriously laughed at first, then she hung up on me -_- I come up with thee dumbest prank calls and people are like "Get it together!" Lol…will I prank you next?