AN: Just a random plot idea that wouldn't let me go. Enjoy! ; )
Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. *tears*
When I was little, I thought I lived next to a freak show.
Oh, not a real circus. That would be cool, with the lions and elephants and everything.
But no. Next door to me lived the strangest family ever. I was in the same grade as one of the girls, Susan. She was the most normal, I guess. But that isn't saying a lot.
They'd always had their quirks. Well, we all do. But they'd all seemed so normal at first. Susan was smart, and very pretty. Peter watched over them all, and Lucy was adorable. The little boy, Edmund, he'd always been a bit surly, but nothing scary.
Then came the blitz.
We all went away. We had to. No one was shaken much, but those four came changed. Lucy had always been a bit dreamy, but now she seemed like she was off in another world. Once I had to pull her back from being run over by the ice cream truck. Edmund was even ruder to me than before. But that's not even the worst of it.
I was sitting in my room, one night, feeding my pet rat. I was sniffling a bit, because some girl in my class had called me an animal freak. It shouldn't bother me; I was sixteen for God's sake!
I'd idly looked out my window. Susan had mentioned to some of her friends that her parents were going to be out tonight. Susan had a lot of friends.
She was standing in her room, right across from mine, with her brother Peter. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was so surprised I dropped my rat's bowl. Mum called upstairs "Henrietta, are you alright up there?"
"Sure, Mum," I called back. I think I was in shock. Because there was Susan Pevensie, kissing her brother. Not on the cheek or anything chaste. No, they were making out. As I watched, he started to unbutton her blouse. I ran to pull down my shades. I couldn't watch anymore. Susan Pevensie was sleeping with her brother. I could tell, in the way he held her.
Jesus. Incest. What an ugly word. It sounded like something was on fire, burning and destroying. I didn't think that actually happened in real life, just a plot for the dried-up romances my mother read, or corny soap operas. But apparently my neighbors were in love.
I watched her carefully after that. She acted the same at school. But some nights, I could see them together. I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't stop. I longed for someone to hold me like that.
But there's more. Once, when I was outside collecting bugs, I saw little Lucy Pevensie skipping around. Her brother, Edmund, seemed to come out of nowhere. He grabbed her, and she shrieked. I'd seen him grab her before, when they were little. It was play grabbing, bullying older brother grabbing. This wasn't. This was lover grabbing. He was spinning her around, and she was laughing and squealing for Edmund to "put me down, oh please Ed, I swear I can't breathe." And he did. She kissed him on the cheek. How does a kiss there turn passionate? I'm not sure, but somehow she made it be so. They went inside, holding hands.
I ran back through my house, the grasshopper outside forgotten. "Henri, don't run your seventeen, for Christ's sake!" My mother called. She was always scolding me for running. She thought I should be interested in boys and lipstick, like that nice Susan Pevensie. I shuddered internally every time she said that. What would she do if she knew the truth?
I made it to my room and slammed the door, another thing Mum hated. I collapsed on my bed. 'Is incest hereditary?' I wondered idly. It was just too weird, that all these siblings were in love. I didn't know what to do about it. 'Maybe I should just tell?' I worried. 'Just let someone know.'
In the end, the only person I told was Darwin, my rat. I didn't have the courage to speak out. Plus, there was the slim chance they were all actually in true love with each other, not just fooling around for fun. And who was I to spoil that?
I watched these improper romances for years. Edmund and Lucy just got closer and closer, as far as I could see. But Peter and Susan were falling apart. She had many boyfriends, all of which I knew about from school. She just kept getting sillier and sillier. She was always so smart and grounded, but now she just flirted. Peter never dated, and he was infuriated when she did. I could see them fighting. I never heard a word, but their expressions where always indication enough. These fights always ended with one of them launching themselves at the other, and then they'd kiss wildly. I always thought those two were headed for a train wreck. I still smile at the irony, years later.
I was there when Susan heard. She was home for the weekend, back from college. She'd settled down a bit, learned to try and appreciate things other than guys. I wasn't sure if she and Peter were still together. The inner romantic inside me always hoped.
The police came to the door. I was outside. It was summer, so of course I was outside. She opened the door, looking both busy and beautiful. "Yes?" she said impatiently.
The police officer shifted uncomfortably. "Ms. Pevensie? I have some tragic news. Your siblings have been killed in a train wreck."
She went pale, paler than I thought possible. She clutched her heart too. I watched in horrid fascination. "All of them?" she quavered. "Lucy, and Edmund, and Peter?" Was I the only one who noticed how she trembled on the last name?
The dick shuffled form foot to foot, looking for an escape. "Yes. We're extremely sorry for your loss-" he was cut off by the rawest cry of human suffering I had ever heard before or after. She collapsed on the front step, sobbing. I rushed over. I didn't care that I didn't know her that well; that I thought what she'd done was slightly disgusting. I only cared that she'd loved him, and now he was dead.
She sobbed into my chest, muttering. I only caught phrases here and there. The police had long since split. I could see emotion was not that particular officer's fort.
She started screaming. "Aslan, I'm so sorry, I always believed, but it hurt too much, so I pretended not to, I hurt him, but I loved him!" I didn't know who Aslan was; maybe an ex boyfriend? Unusual name, thought. But I was pretty sure she was talking about Peter in the last bit.
She raved on. "Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia, that was what you said, but you lied, Lucy and Ed, oh God, Lucy and Ed, they got to go back, but I never did!" she screamed at the sky. I was pretty sure she was going mad. What was Narnia? What was that about kings and queens?
But now she was back to wordless sobbing. I'll always wonder what she was talking about. Guess I'll never know.
I went to the funeral, along with mother. They didn't have the bodies, but they buried empty caskets anyway. She looked beautiful in her grief. She didn't cry. I could tell this grief was too personal, too deep to share. She wasn't just crying for brothers and sister; she was crying for the love of her life.
After the funeral, I went home and lay on my bed, cuddling Darwin. She was still alive after all these years. I notice I ended up on my bed a lot when it came to the Pevensie's; maybe it was my version of a therapist's couch.
But I heard words floating in through my open window. It was Susan, talking to herself. Apparently she had hers open too.
"I never meant any of it Peter, not a word. I didn't want you to leave. I'll never forgive myself for pushing you away, and saying I didn't love you, that it was wrong. And now I'll never be able to tell you how sorry I am." She was crying gently.
"Aslan, show me a way out. Please, I beg of you." Her tone was more frantic now. She rocked back and forth slowly, face flushed. Suddenly her eyes opened, filled with a feverish light. She smiled, a grim, desperate smile. "That's it, isn't?" she said, face dancing. "That's my exit."
Suddenly I was scared. She was moving around the room now, looking for something. She spied it and pounced, grabbing it. I craned my neck trying to see what it was. She pulled it out further, and placed it to her head. I suddenly went cold. It was a gun.
"Once a queen of Narnia, always a queen of Narnia," she murmured. Then, so fast I couldn't react, she pulled the trigger.
The bang was louder than I expected. I closed my eyes. I couldn't watch, couldn't look. "Mommy!" I screamed, my voice sounding shrill even to my own ears. "MOMMY!" But there was no way I could have saved her.
This funeral was about a week after the first one. This time there was a corpse, but I couldn't look. I'd done something for her though, thinking she deserved it.
The black clad mourners filed past the headstone, engraved with the words I'd requested:
Susan Pevensie
1928- 1949
Sister and Daughter
She was loved more than we'll ever know
I sat in my room later, thinking about the Pevensie's. I hoped they were happy, and together, where ever they were. They deserved that.
I never told anyone about all their love. But I don't think it's disgusting anymore. I sort of get it now. It was love, and there's never anything wrong with love. Love can never be a sin. I hope they were laughing, finally together, now and forever, in that Narnia place of theirs. Who knows, maybe someday I'll see them there.
AN: What do you think? I lurve reviews, but if you flame me, I will flame you back worse!