A/N: A short one-shot that popped into my head following episode 3x15. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Chicago Fire and just enjoy writing fics for fun.

I'll be Alright without you, I Promise

Gabby wasn't entirely sure how she ended up here, of course deep down she knew she shouldn't be surprised. She didn't let many people completely into her life, but she was defiantly one of the exceptions.

She settled down on the hard, frozen ground. She shivered slightly as she settled against the large piece of stone marking Shay's grave. She hadn't been here much since her death, the guilt and grief making it almost unbearable. The first time she had been here since the funeral was after Antonio had killed Gish. She suddenly found herself here more often then she would admit to anyone.

"How did things get so messed up?" She asked the headstone, wishing more than ever the person it honored could be here with her. "He slept with someone else. The new captain's ex-wife."

She sat in silence for a moment, letting the freezing wind carry her words. She let the statement hang in the air, almost imagining Shay's face as she said them. Although, she is sure that if Leslie had still been here she would've never let Gabby call off the engagement in the first place, even to just put it on hold until she finished her candidacy.

"I know you never would have let me do it. I regret it, I miss him." She let the admission hang in the air, picturing Shay's smug yet sympathetic grin clearly. "We were doing so much better, I thought we agreed to wait… I just assumed he didn't want to be with anyone else."

She shifted, trying to get a bit warmer but to no avail. She could also feel the tears returning to her eyes, the one's she wiped away furiously as she fled the firehouse after shift. She was thankful she hadn't found out sooner, only having to avoid everyone for about an hour before she could make her escape to talk to Shay.

"God, I'm such a bitch," She muttered suddenly, "I should've brought flowers or something. You were always the one who was good at taking care of me." She smiled remember the good times she and Shay had shared, but it only led to more tears.

"I miss you most of all," She quietly admitted to the stone. "You always knew what to do, you were always there no matter how badly I screwed up. I've really screwed up, Shay." She let the tears fall freely when the only response was a bitter wind, not that she expected anything else anyway.

"I'm lost, you know. Being a firefighter is great and all, but I feel like I've lost a lot more than I've gained this year." She stuffed her hands into her pockets, her left one making contact with the old photo of the two of them she had begun carrying around. "I would do anything to get you back."

It was almost as if she could hear Shay talking to her, telling her to pull it together in one of her many pep talks. She couldn't get Shay back, she had to let that go. She did what she could for her, she helped bring the identity of her killer to light. She now had to live on for her, without her.

However, there was still one person she could get back. If she wanted her happiness she would have to fight for it. Forgive, grow and move on. Get back to the ending Shay and she had gushed over in the ambulance when she first got together with Casey.

"You are the best friend anyone could ask for," She whispered to the headstone through tears as she prepared to leave.

"Dawson?"

Gabby whipped her head around, furiously wiping at her eyes as she scrambled to her feet. Severide approached, a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a concerned look on his face, "Hey."

"Are you okay?" He asked trying to get a better look at her face as she avoiding eye contact.

"Fine," She said moving around him, "I'll give you two some privacy. Love you, Shay."

She hurried away from the headstone, ignoring Severide's repeated questions. Severide didn't need to know about her conversation with Shay and honestly she wasn't sure how she was, she just knew how she wanted to be.

Gabby started her car and sat in silence for a moment, collecting her thoughts. She drove through the streets of Chicago to Brett's place. She found parking easily and grabbed her bag out of the back seat, heading for the house.

"Gabby," She stopped in her tracks, turning to find Matt stepping out of his truck. How had she not noticed him, "Can we talk?"

She took a deep breath, "Sure, come on in." She led Casey into the house and to what she was sure was going to be a long talk. She closed her eyes for a moment and sent her love to her best friend as she prepared to fight for her own happiness, repeating the words Shay had said to her not so long ago, I'll be alright without you, I promise.