CHAPTER 1

The Present Day

Sookie POV

I was working the afternoon shift at Merlotte's. Being that it was Sunday meant that it wasn't very busy and normally I welcomed having a break, especially when I had just worked the night shift on Friday and Saturday. It is only recently (the last six weeks to be exact) that I don't like having the opportunity to let my mind wander. Yet there I was, sitting at the bar, not feeling the slightest bit guilty about it either. I have always had a strong work ethic and believed if you had a job you should earn your money by working and not sitting around. Oh Boy, have I changed!

I was sitting there remembering everything that had happened to me over the past two years and I was truly amazed that I was able to live long enough to reminisce about it. Over the course of two years, I had fallen in love for the first time and had been betrayed by him. Him, by the way, was Bill Compton, a Vampire. (I eventually got over it but I still have a hard time talking about it). I had been beaten, staked, shot, involved in a Witch War, a Were War, not to mention being deeply thrown into the arena of Vampire politics, as well as, surviving a hotel explosion. The most painful of all however, was the loss of my Gran. It is still hard for me to think about it because there are moments when I am so overwrought with guilt over her death that I cannot see straight. I guess there will always be a part of me that will blame myself for her death because if I never got involved with Bill, she would probably still be here. But I also know there is no point in dwelling on something that I cannot change, so the best I can do is keep her in my heart and try to be the good person she raised me to be. Hmmm, how did I become so pragmatic?

The biggest change overall to my life was, of course, my blood bond with Eric Northman. Eric is the Sherriff of Area 5 and perhaps the most powerful Vampire in Louisiana. Throughout all of these events, Eric was present for all of them, always managing to show up when I needed help. Which is exactly what led us to becoming blood bound. While at the Pyramid of Gizeh Hotel in Rhodes, Eric rescued me from becoming bound to another Vampire, André, who was Queen Sophie-Anne's underling, child, lover (whatever) by offering himself instead. Because it was the third time we had exchanged blood, we became, according to Eric, permanently bound to one another. I don't fully understand the magnitude of this arrangement, seeing as how it was never explained to me, but what I was able to figure out on my own is that since the last exchange we are able to sense each other's emotions much more clearly. Or I should say I was able to sense him more clearly. Since about three weeks ago, I haven't been able to sense anything, just a humming of sort in the back of my brain. It was annoying at first but I've gotten used to it. Maybe Eric was finally wrong about something, maybe the bond is wearing off. I should be happy about the possibility, right? So why does the thought make me feel so empty?

All of this thinking brought me to the present moment. Ever since Felipe de Castro, King of Nevada, and now the new King of Louisiana and Arkansas took over six weeks ago my life has gone back to normal, relatively speaking. I mean really, how normal can the life of a telepath be, especially one that is: best friends with a Witch, blood-bound to a Vampire and a friend of the pack of the Shreveport and Jackson Were community? So normal for me, just means quiet. As far as I know, Eric has been entertaining Felipe, which obviously has kept him very busy because I haven't heard from either him or Pam (his second in command and child) in six weeks. I can only imagine what kind of entertaining he's been doing. Bill has been off traveling, probably to South America continuously updating his precious database and all seemed to be going smoothly in the Were/Shifter community. Even my brother Jason has stayed away from me. Although I figured after the whole Calvin Norris smashing of the hand episode, Jason's probably afraid that if he confronted me I would do the same thing to him. At this point in time, I'm still considering it.

So back to what I was thinking . . . since all has been quiet in the Land of the Supernatural I should be happy, right? Happy to have a break from all of it. Relieved that I can come home and not find a dead body on my property, or a Vampire coming out of the woods, or someone trying to kill me. But I wasn't. I was sad, conflicted and angry. I've been feeling anxious and despondent. These feelings were transforming me into a different type of person. I was finding myself becoming more and more short-tempered with everyone from customers to one of my closest friends, my boss Sam. Uh oh, speak of the devil.

"Cher, if you're bored and want something to do, would you like to help me cut up some of the fruit for the garnish tray? It may keep you busy for a while," Sam said to me with a tentative look on his face.

"Why? Do I look bored to you?" I snapped.

"Not bored, but you did look like you were a million miles away and you did not look happy. I'm just trying to help." Sam countered.

Now I was irritated. I shot back, "does it look like I need help to you? Believe me Sam, if I need help I'll ask you for it, so save it for someone who needs it."

At this point, everyone in the bar was looking at us.

"Sookie, in my office, NOW!" Sam was pissed.

Sam was so angry, he slammed the garnish tray on the bar and threw the bar towel. You could

always tell when Sam was angry because his bottom lip stiffens and when he walks the footsteps are so loud it sounds like he's wearing shoes that are ten pounds each. I followed him into his office and shut the door.

"What?" I asked angrily. My blood was boiling at this point but I wasn't angry at Sam, so I couldn't understand why I was being so mean to him. But me being me, I can't just admit when I'm wrong and apologize, I always have to stand my ground and make an argument for myself.

Sam started. "Ok, I want to know what's going on. For the past six weeks you have not been yourself at all. You have been abrupt with the customers, rude to the rest of the staff and snippy with me. Now I understand that you've been through a lot but I also know that despite everything you've been through you were the same sweet Sookie and treated everyone with compassion and respect. But right now, I do not recognize the woman in front of me, and I gotta tell ya, I'm a little concerned."

I hesitated, but gave him an automatic response. "Sam, it's nothing."

Sam started to plead with me. "It's not nothing and it's gotta be something important for you to be acting like this. You don't even seem interested in working anymore and I know that is not like you."

The look on Sam's face told me that he truly was worried about me and I suddenly felt so guilty for treating him so badly that I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I slumped into the chair behind me, buried my face in my hands and just started crying.

Sam walked over to me and got down on his knees, put his arms around me and gave me a hug. It's so funny to me that people tend to think that words will make you feel better but it's always been the actions that I found most comforting. Just Sam being there, hugging me, telling me everything was going to be ok, even though I knew he had no idea what was going on did make me feel a bit better.

Sam broke the embrace and looked at me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He reached behind him and grabbed a Kleenex off his desk to hand to me. I blew my nose and dried my eyes before I said anything. "Sam, that's just it, I don't know what's wrong. (I was lying through my teeth, but I wasn't about to go there). I wish I did and believe me, if I did I would tell you, but I don't."

Sam got up and walked over to the other side of his office. He grabbed the arm of a chair and dragged it over to be closer to me. With that he sat down in front of me, hunched over looking directly at me.

"Sookie, you are one of my closest friends and you know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, but you need to figure this out for yourself. It's obvious that you're hurting and until you get to the bottom of it, you're going to stay this way and I know you can't go on like this. Now, I'm going to let you off your shift now. You have a few days off from work, please spend some time figuring this out because I can't bear to see you like this anymore, alright?"

I looked up at Sam. There was nothing else I could say, I just put my arms around him and gave him another hug. "You're a great friend and a great boss Sam, I don't know what I would do without you."

Still hugging me he said, "Yeah, I don't know what you would do without me either, now get outta here."

I stood up, straightened my uniform and wiped my eyes. Trying to sound uplifted from our talk, I said, "alright, let me just get my purse out of the desk and I'll be on my way."

As I walked out of Sam's office I could clearly see that everyone was wondering what just occurred in Sam's office. My ex-friend and the newest Fellowship of the Sun worshiper (haha), Arlene, was staring at me wondering what was going on. I knew she was going to be pissed off at Sam for letting me off early again, BUT that's her problem to deal with not mine.

I walked out of the bar into the employee parking lot. I got into my car and started the drive home. I noticed that the weather was very overcast. It didn't look like it was going to rain it just looked cold and dreary, I thought it coincided with my mood perfectly.