Pepto Bismol Veins
Shouto knew he was the type of person to drive people away, whether it be accidental or on purposeful (mostly the latter). It would explain his surprise when Midoriya Izuku, the boy he had thoroughly destroyed in the Sports Festival and had not a single regret about losing came up to him one day and asked if he would like to be partners for their group project. When he asked why, the boy responded with a simple, "Because I don't have a partner?" and gave him a lopsided grin.
Shouto could accept that.
Within the first five minutes he found out the boy liked to talk, and Shouto was unsure if that was a good or bad thing because, on one hand, he had to listen to the boy talk on and on about his favorite superheroes but on the other it meant Shouto did practically no talking which was fine by him.
It's a nice day out, and Shouto rather enjoys walking down the sidewalk next to Izuku, Iida, and Uraraka when they find a small stray tabby cat walking ahead of them, fur muddled with dirt and grass as Uraraka gasps and immediately runs up to it. She coos lovingly at it and hesitates to touch it lest she accidentally makes it float. Izuku - ever cheerful and helpful - checks the cat over to see if it got lost before running his hand through the cat's fur.
"She's a stray, I think," he mutters, "Doesn't have a tag on her or anything."
"We should take it to the vet! They'll be able to clean her up and everything," Uraraka pets the cat, pinkie lifted up so she won't activate her quirk, "She's so cute! I wonder if they'll let me adopt her?"
Izuku grins and holds the cat in his arms, hearing her satisfied purring as she muddies his chin when she rubs against it and Shouto can only inhale deeply around his gum when he sees the same adoration for the cat in Izuku's eyes directed towards Uraraka.
"Midoriya please be careful with the cat who knows what it's carryi-TODOROKI YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SWALLOW GUM WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!"
Shouto rubs his throat and when he inhales he feels the bubblegum's scent dig deep, deep, deep into his lungs and start to spread.
Shouto isn't quite sure when it happens but he starts hacking terribly one day, throat burning and the sensation of wanting to retch crawling up quickly. He excuses himself and dry heaves into the toilet for about 10 minutes with no results. After double and triple-checking that nothing will come out he washes his hands and takes a quick sip of water from the fountain before walking back to class.
The coughing doesn't come up for the rest of the day until they're at their last period and packing up when Izuku comes up to him grinning broadly with Uraraka and Iida flanked by his sides.
"Hey, Todoroki! Me, Uraraka and Iida were thinking of going to this new cafe around the block that just opened up! You wanna come with us, or..?"
He would, he truly would, but of course, life wasn't that nice to him and his father had called another one of their "training sessions" to take place again. Shouto tries to hide his wince as he politely declines, watching the smile slowly start to slip off of Izuku's face.
"Oh..alright then. We can bring you something back if you'd like?" Izuku's trying to hide his disappointment behind a fake smile, but Shouto's neither blind nor stupid so it doesn't get past him.
"No need to, I should be fine," he finishes packing up, "Thank you for the offer, Iz-Midoriya."
As he's walking down the path from the school Shouto sees the three smiling and chatting happily with Uraraka making wild hand gestures, most likely in an attempt to cheer Izuku up. Iida is being his usual loud, motherly self when Uraraka says something that makes Izuku laugh so hard he looks about to cry, and as both Iida and Uraraka are laughing with him, in turn, Izuku gazes at Uraraka with the same look he'd given her the day before when they found that stray cat and it's not the first time he's wished the look was directed at him.
Shouto looks away and coughs up a flower petal.
Visiting Recovery Girl was a no-go; if he went she would ask questions and he would have to answer those questions which would lead to more questions and soon Shouto wouldn't be able to avoid the inevitable as much as he'd hope.
He was fine - he'd be fine. He'd spent 10 years of his life being alone, this was no different.
He was not fine.
The more and more he thought about Izuku the worse and worse the coughing became and the more flowers gathered around him. At one point he had spent an hour alone coughing out the beautiful yet vicious things into his toilet and then promptly scolded when he showed up late to class. He supposed he deserved that.
He's sitting on the roof now lest he risks others seeing the coughing fit of flowers spewed from his lungs. He idly considers getting an inhaler or something similar to help him breathe properly but throws that idea aside almost immediately, because that would mean asking for help and getting a prescription and he wouldn't - he couldn't - let anyone find out. Least of all Izuku, or worse - Uraraka.
Once the last of the pink petals have secreted themselves from his chest cavity he gathers them up in his arms and places them in a plastic container he designated just for them. Maybe they could prove to be useful, or just decorate Shouto's room even by a little bit.
Izuku and Uraraka get together.
It's sunny out, just like the day they went to the park, and Shouto specifically remembers it because A. All-Might had tried to get Aizawa's cat down from a tree and ended up getting scratched but a kiss from the man and B. Izuku and Uraraka had held hands throughout most of their training exercise and when confronted about it had blushed and happily announced their coming together.
Shouto had felt equal parts happy and absolutely crushed.
He was so stupid (as he's been told many times before), of course, Izuku wouldn't like him. It was obvious from the get-go that he barely thought of him as a friend, much less a potential lover. Their exercise is over when Shouto throws up right then and there on the cold floor and all that comes out are chunks and chunks of flower petals.
Shouto wakes up to a cold room and three faces over him. None of which are Izuku.
"How long has this been going on?" Aizawa speaks up first, face impassive as always but eyes holding something strange which Shouto can't figure out (he isn't the best at reading emotions).
"A couple months," he thinks harder, "Maybe 2 or 3."
Recovery Girl frowns and All-Might has his head in his hands.
"Do you want to get rid of it?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
Shouto hesitates, "Yes."
The silence that follows is almost suffocating before All-Might speaks up, "Young Todoroki-"
"Shouto," he rasps.
He pauses, "..Shouto," he continues, "You know this will never stop." Izuku doesn't love you, goes unsaid, but it's evident in his wording.
It's blunt and straightforward, but Shouto can't find it in himself to be mad at him, "I know," he murmurs, "Just let it stay for a little longer." I want to know what it feels like, to experience actual pain.
"It'll go away," Recovery Girl tries to offer, "Your feelings. They'll go away naturally. You're a good boy, Shouto. You'll find someone else who will treat you better."
It'll go away...they're words Shouto has heard many times before, from his father, his mother, and Fuyumi as well. It'll go away, they muse, giving him sympathetic glances or hugs or pats on the head, or cruel glances and harsh beatings and bruises that are hidden by his clothes. But Shouto knows the truth. He knows that it never truly goes away. When you have your world taken away from you, or your face scarred permanently by the only woman who gave a damn about you, or loses your friend to another friend who he knows Izuku likes better, the pain of losing it doesn't go away with a snap of the fingers.
It never does.
So uhhhhh I know I've been practically dead for the last few months but I've been kinda busy with school and working on owed art and doing a lot of other personal projects so I just really haven't found the time to just sit down and write. But I hope ya'll enjoy this short little story that I randomly typed up during science class ^^; i might continue it but im not sure. leave your thoughts?
you can follow me on tumblr or deviantart if you'd like, where im probably most active (destiny-arts) (destiny-moonfire)