Title: I'm Choosing to Love You Through This

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS LA or the characters. I simply enjoy writing about them in this forum.

Summary: This will be a series of scenes where Deeks and Kensi have been through a tough situation or disagreement. Their mantra or promise to each other becomes "I'm Choosing to Love You Through This"

Chapter 1: This chapter takes place in season 7 after Deeks has told Kensi the full truth about his involvement in Boyle's murder.

I'm Choosing to Love You Through This

Chapter 1

"I thought you'd be angrier or more disappointed with me," Deeks cautiously voices the worries he's held onto for months, or maybe even years, as he caresses the arm that rests across his chest. He wonders if he's an idiot for suggesting she should be, especially when her naked body is wrapped around him.

"Oh, I am," she assures him in a tone that leaves him with no doubt that she is hurt and angry that he kept this from her. "Remember those couple weeks in a row where I was too tired or had a headache? I was processing what I'd figured out." She raises her head to look into his eyes as her fingers trail over his chest and abdomen. Her tone softens as she continues. "What I came up with is that I'm choosing to love you through this. While I was, and maybe still am, having a hard time reconciling the fact you killed someone without it being self defense, or defense of others; I can relate to making a really wrong choice for the right reasons. Also, the qualities and values that led you to making the choice to kill Boyle are some of the qualities and values I admire most about you. And while I don't condone or agree with what you did, I don't believe that you do either. I also don't believe that you would make that choice again; and if you were ever put in that spot again, you'd better think long and hard about what you could be giving up."

She leans forward and presses her lips to his so he doesn't forget anytime soon what he almost lost.

Reverting back to self depreciation, he brings his hand to her cheek and between kisses states, "I don't deserve you."

"Shhh," she insists rolling on top of him as she kisses her way along his jaw. "That's not true"

After quieting his doubts with some more kisses, she expounds on all of the thoughts she's been carrying for the past few weeks. "I have a better understanding now of why you gave me the knife back and how you tried to keep me from making a similar mistake with Clairmont.

"I wanted to tell you then. I wanted to tell you so many times. I'm sorry," he expresses his regret knowing he owes her 1,000 apologies.

"I know, and that's why I'm choosing to love you through this," she reiterates.

Thank you for reading! By the way, I went back and revised the first scene of Season Nine Nuggets Chapter 23. I wanted to go back and make Kensi just a little bit tougher and angrier in that scene so it felt more authentically like our girl.