Chapter 1. Introductions!

Yo! my name is Uzumaki Naruto! I am known as dead-last, or dobe. I am also the self-proclaimed

prank master and have the tendency to give other people a headache and giant sweatdrops!

Saying that I am disliked by my village would be a HUGE understatement. I'm hated, wait, scratch

that, I am despised, no, scratch that too; I am the village pariah. Period.

Now, you might be wondering WHY that's the case? Well, even though it was supposed to

be kept secret -not that they did a very good job- the reason behind the villager's hate is because...

I am a Jichuuriki. Of the Kyuubi to say the least. Yes, despite the Sandaime's law, I still figured it out.

I mean, come on! Its a bit difficult to ignore a gianormous, bad-tempered, ol' frikking demon sealed inside of you!

-Hey!

-The truth hurts, my dear Watson. -The mighty Kyuubi no Kitsune sweatdropped.

-And who the HELL is this Watson?

-I honestly have absolutely no idea...

- ...

Anyways, back to topic...where was I? Oh yeah! Explanations and summary of my suckish life!

You already know the story of how the Kyuubi was defeated, right?

Well now you know what really happened, the Yondaime Hokage sealed the giant furball.

Yup! Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure, The Yellow Flash, Seals master and...

my father...

Another secret that the Old man Sandaime has tried to keep from me. Difference: Only, say, um,

wait! Oh, yeah, only four people know about it! The Old man, my father, my mother, and one of the Hokage advisors...But only the Old man is alive

( and the advisor, unfortunately ), and I can't include myself since I technically don't know about my heritage.

Now, you would think people close to my parents would know like, say, Jiraya of the Sannin?

Weeeeell, there is yet another reason why. Yes, I have another secret, one that only the Old man and I

know about! You see, the Kyuubi was sealed into a newborn baby...girl!

Soooo, yeah. My life is literally an S-class secret. I mean, who ELSE has three S-rank secrets?

Three, can you belive it! Three. Fucking. S-CLASS. Secrets! ...

My life is soooo messed up...- THUNK -head-palms kitchen table.

Now, you might be wondering why being a girl is a secret.

Well, the villagers hate me. You women out there know that this can be a cruel world and... things can

happen to orphaned, hated, little girls that can't defend themselves. Yes, it definitely just screams r-rape.

I mean, nobody would care if the Kyuubi kid, or Demon screams for help...

Although being disguised as a boy prevents that cruel fate, it did not prevent the villagers from beating `him´ up. Mobs of

villagers and drunks – shivers- I hate drunks – would team up and hunt her down.

Because of the villager's `hunting the demon game´ and her pranking experience, Naruto was excellent

at stealth. Even though she acts dumb, care-free, trusting and many other things, she always kept her

skills a secret. Why? Well, we don't want others to think of `him´ as a threat, do we?

Namikaze Naruto is what you call, bipolar.

She may be calm and collected, but she was just...naturally clumsy. Yes, clumsy and full of smiles.

She smiled because it hided her pain and loneliness, she smiled and endured. She also was NOT a

trusting person, it takes a lot to make her trust you, even if she never shows it.

She liked the quiet sometimes, and loved to read; It took things off her mind. Being loud and noisy

was easy for her, the quiet could also remind her that she was alone, even though it was partially

part of her act. Yup, you could say that Namikaze Naruto had both her parents personalities. Weird, hu?

She was also stubborn, and never gives up! No way! That was so not in her vocabulary!

That was rule number one for many reasons! Like survival! Survival...

Yes, one of my main goals for the day is making it to the next. After years of failed assassination attempts and mobs

of scary, drunken, villagers, survival became her sixth sense.

Hmmmm...I think I gave a small explanation of my life and living cond-Wait!

I didn't explain were I live and lived!

Ok, so I lived in the orphanage until I had enough of their abuse and basically got myself kicked out.

I was five. And even though orphanage era was pre-survival training (is what I dubbed it), when I got out, It is when

my true survival sense started to develop. I lived on the streets until I was about seven. It was hard, but, hey! I'm still alive and kicking!

(to the villager's dismay) and after a month I truly was, and still am if not way better, at surviving on my own! At any condition! Be it snowing or storming!

Two years...two years and the villagers failed to brake her.

She will never show her tears.

She will never show the village that hated her so much.

She will show them...I WILL NEVER GIVE UP!

-Getting off topic, gaki.

-Oh, go back to your beauty sleep!- she snapped at her...room-mate.

-Hmph!

Anyways, so I lived on the streets until I turned seven.

Then, a very upset, unknowing Sandaime gave me my current apartment.

He said that he was occupied and the orphanage failed to tell him that they `kicked out the demon.´

Also, it was when the Sandaime asked what was my dream for the future...I was so excited!

No one had ever asked her that! And that was when I got `the determined look´ and told him what I never told anyone. I wanted acknowledgment. I wanted respect. I wanted to protect the village I love.

The Old man was impressed at my guts and determination, even proud.

When I saw his reaction, I knew that I had earned it. It felt good.

Just like I am gonna earn their acknowledgment! They will notice me and not ignore me!

Even if I have to drop neon pink paint-filled balloons on them! Ninjas and civilians!

And Namik-um, I mean, Uzumaki Naruto never goes back on he-his word!

That was when the Old man told me I was ready for the academy.

That happened five years ago...