Author: Tenik
Email: tenik42@yahoo.com
Rating: G nothing bad at all really
Status: Complete
Setting: Round the end of Season Five
Summary: Answer to a challenge on 'The Buffybott Adventures' site, to have the theme of Buffybot vs. Angelbot. So that's all it is. A short humour fic.
Authors Notes: Something I wrote awhile ago and thought I'd post.
Feedback: Please!
Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer Applies. (And I can't think of a funny or interesting way to say this)
Abandoned Warehouse, Sunnydale, Night.
Warren peered into the darkness trying to identify his captors, while struggling with the ropes tying him to the chair but none of them would loosen. He wondered what they wanted with him. He wished he had left Sunnydale when he wanted to. It was all because of that bleached blond Vampire making him create another robot that he was still here. The last thing he remembered before everything went black was packing up and trying to leave again. Then he came to in this place.
One of the figures stepped forward, his face illuminated by the moonlight filtering down through the broken warehouse ceiling. It was a lumpy, dark brown mass of features, sharp teeth and glowing eyes. The figure was obviously not human. He grinned at Warren.
"You're going to help us with our problem"
"You got the wrong guy, uh...I don't think I know anything that could help you. p-please let me go" he babbled, sweat forming on his forehead.
The Demon walked closer to Warren, grabbing him by his shoulders and breathing in his face.
"You're going to make us something"
The Magic Shop, The Basement, A Month Later.
In the corner of the Magic shop's basement, hidden under a sheet the Buffybot stood. It seemed to be shutdown and broken. But as Willow had said it was an easy fix, and contrary to what they thought a part of the robot was still working. The back-up drive was very quietly whirring away. Assessing the damage, rerouting data and slowly getting itself fully functional again.
With a sudden click the Buffybot's eyes sprung open. She looked confusingly around at her grey-white surroundings. A program in the main drive went into action. Problem: No visual pictures. Probable cause: Object blocking visual sensors. The Buffybot pulled off the white sheet and looked around for the second time. She smiled at the world in general. Then walking up the stairs that lead into the shop, her primary purpose activated: Find Spike.
Anya stood behind the counter counting the money in the cash register. She was the only one in the store and was wishing more customers would arrive soon. Counting the money was making her feel better. The Buffybot walked past, and Anya called out to her thinking it was Buffy.
"Hey Buffy"
The Buffybot stopped and grinned at Anya and said in her cheerful voice,
"Hello Ex-Demon Anya"
"I thought you were at home with Dawn?"
"No. I was in the basement. But now I'm going to find Spike."
"Oh okay." Anya answered not noticing anything weird about Buffy's sudden hyper cheerful attitude.
"How is your money?"
"It's good. But now I've lost count."
The Buffybot gave Anya one last smile before turning around and heading out the door. Anya started counting the money again. When she was halfway through she suddenly realised that something was wrong. 'Buffy never asks me about my money', she thought and came to the conclusion that it hadn't been Buffy, but robot Buffy instead. Anya didn't see how it was her problem if the robot was loose and continued with her job.
Across Town, the Same Abandoned Warehouse Again.
A crowd of vampires stood around encircling a nervous Warren who was fidgeting while waiting for their approval. Their attention was on something else. This something else was human shaped and standing unnaturally still. One of the vampires spoke, "Looks good, but does it work?" Warren answered by saying, "Systems engage".
The Angel look-a-like robot standing in the middle of the room opened his eyes then smiled at the world in general. But unlike the Buffybot this was not a cheerful grin, instead he had been programmed with a evil smirk. Soon this expression was mirrored in the many Vampires around the room. "The Slayer won't know what hit her before its too late"
And although Warren was scared for his life he still managed a quiet groan at the Vampire's use of a cliche.
One of Sunnydale's Many Graveyards.
Buffybot strode quickly through the graveyard. After leaving the Magic Box Buffybot had compiled a list of the possible locations of Spike. Then assigning these locations with calculated probabilities of how likely it was Spike would be there, she worked out that the most likely location of Spike was his crypt. After pulling out the memory file containing the location of his crypt, Buffybot headed straight there.
But before she reached it she was stopped by the sound of someone saying her name from behind her. Buffybot's voice recognisers told her that it wasn't Spike and she frowned but decided it would be rude to ignore the person, so she turned around to face them.
Straight away her visual recognisers identified the person standing in front of her as Angel. "Angel! ...Your hair goes straight up and you're bloody stupid", Buffybot finished by grinning at him. The Angelbot just looked at the Buffybot and having already identified her as Buffy, his primary function went into action: Kill Buffy.
Without speaking the Angelbot lunged and took a swing at her. The Buffybot managed to duck out of the way but a confused expression was clearly visible on her face. "Did I say something wrong?" Angelbot didn't answer, continuing his attack on her, this time making contact. Buffybot frowned and made one last comment, before accessing her battle files, "You're rude".
Spike was walking home to his crypt when he heard the sounds of fighting coming from nearby, as he approached he noticed it was Buffy in the middle of battling someone.
"Buffy!" Spike said as he rushed forward to help her even the odds. But then he stopped short when he realised who it was she was fighting.
"Angel?" he said confused. "Did I miss something?..."