I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
And with my wide eyes
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry
With words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me, yeah
'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole
Lock the doors
'Cause I'd like to capture this voice
It came to me tonight
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war, we live like this
Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me
'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole
Tower over me
Tower over me
And I'll take the truth at any cost
'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole
The last notes of the song rang out into the room from my speakers and I curled further into Jasper. The songs—though some were very haunting—had deep meanings. The artist was named Izzy Masen, and she was a vampire. It was ironic; some of her songs spoke of heaven and hell, angels and demons, salvation and damnation. A slight smile played around my lips when the next track came on. I knew by the opening strains it was Tourniquet. That heavenly voice came from the speakers, accompanied by harsh guitar rifts and banging drums. I was vaguely aware of my "parents" standing in the doorway.
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more (so much more)
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
(Return to me salvation)
(Ohhhhhh)
(I want to die)
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ? (Christ)
Tourniquet
My suicide
(Return to me salvation)
(Return to me salvation)
The lyrics clicked in my head and I suddenly bolted upright with a shriek, "BELLA!"
Of course, everyone was in our room in a split second. I shrieked, "THAT'S BELLA SINGING!"
Of course! I was such a dope for not noticing! I mentally smacked myself and thought, 'I am such a dip! Dopey, dopey, dopey!'
Esme soothed, "Slow down, honey. What is it?"
I lept off the bed, grabbed my CD case, and shrieked, "That's Bella! Our Bella! She's Izzy Masen!"
Emmett opened his mouth to make a comment, but I shushed him when the next track came on. I recognized it as Damn You.
I'm caught in the rain
And the air is so cold
Cause you're not coming back
The winter is stuck in my soul
You made me believe
How you made me complete
I'm so empty inside without you
Existing but barely alive
So... damn you for leaving me
Damn you mortality
I'm so totally weak
I can't even breathe
I miss you - it's killing me
Damn you
I thought we were safe
Protected by faith
When reality strikes
It cut you away from my life
Save me - help me survive
I'm so empty inside
Damn you for leaving me
Damn you mortality
I'm so totally weak
I can't even breathe
I miss you - it's killing me
Damn you deceiving me
Damn you my destiny
I'm so torn incomplete
So damn you
Late at night when you haunt me
Take me with you, release me
From this pain
From going insane
(damn you - damn you)
Damn you for leaving me
Damn you mortality
I'm so totally weak
I can't even breathe
I miss you - it's killing me
Damn you for leaving me
I knew that was the last track before the part with her voice. There was a wait of about three seconds then, "Thanks to all the staff at Kilko Records for listening to ALL of my songs, no matter how idiotic or tortured or plain horrid. Thank you to God for blessing my with my voice and blessing me with this wonderful opportunity. Thank you, mom and dad. Rest in peace, I love you. Thanks to my manager, Krissy Harris. She was there to hug me when I cried and beat my butt when I was lazy. Thanks Mitch Johnson (oh, how many jokes I could make from that name!), for mixing all my songs and not going nuts listening to all them! Dude Jessups, I hate you. With a passion. And you're my third-best friend. Jake, you've always been my friend and thanks for getting over the little road block with me to stay by my side; thank you, my friend and my brother. To my second family—I won't mention your names, but you know who you are—you were the first ones I fit in with. Though we've been apart for so long, you effect my decisions; I cannot think of any being that would not be impressed with any of you. I love you. Thank you to the fans! Without you guys, I'd be just another girl trying to have a go at stardom. But you guys know who I am and what I stand for. I love each and every one of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you! So that's it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Then it was over. Second family? She's described us as that for so long... 'BELLA STILL LOVES US!' Edward looked at me angrily and I turned my thoughts down to a mild shout instead of a high-pitched shriek. I bounced up and down in place and sang, "Bella still loves us!"
I zoned out for a second, had a vision, saw our family at Bella's concert, saw a positive outcome, and zoned back in. I chirped, "I'll go buy tickets! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Before anyone could blink, I was downstairs and halfway through buying tickets and backstage passes to Bella's next concert in Anchorage. It was two weeks away. 'Ohmigod,' I thought. 'What am I gonna wear?'
Songs, in order used:
We Are Broken by Paramore
Tourniquet by Evanescence
Damn You by Hanna Pakarinen