The Voice of an Angel

By: RavenHeart101

A:N – This was done due to me listening to the song "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry one too many times. And it's gotten increasingly annoying for me to not know anything about Kurt's mom. So... there.

The songs are With You by Natalie Walker, The Light by Sara Bareilles, and Never Alone by Lady Antebellum.

This story sucks... I know.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Love this strong never fades."

She hated dying. It wasn't what people said it was like. There was no spectacular "light at the end of the tunnel" or "angel voices singing". But there was a pain. A lingering and never ending pain that left her almost sobbing out in fear. If she could sob, that is. Instead she could do nothing but stare as her arm fell limply from her baby's shoulder and onto the part of the bed that he wasn't covering. Her baby... oh God she had left him alone hadn't she? Well, no, not alone. He still had Burt – but, no. That wasn't the same. Her baby boy needed her. And she had just upped and died and- God Burt. What was Burt going to do now that she was dead? This was going to be horrible for him. He had enough trouble with their flamboyant child as it was. Their beautiful, lovely, and perfect flamboyant child-

"Oh God." And then there was rushing and her baby was screaming and Burt was doing all he could to hold her baby back from flinging himself at her body. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to stop the doctors or nurses or anyone else. She just wanted to hold her baby and kiss her husband and assure them that, even if death wasn't what she had expected it to be, it was all right. She'd been in worse places, surely.

Honestly, she just wanted to wake up from this nightmare, walk down the hall to her baby's room and hug him to her chest tightly and then brush his hair away from his forehead and watch his beautiful blue eyes open and his perfect smile fill up his whole face. She wanted to go to the shop and watch Burt teach their baby all about cars, because it was the only thing her two boys seemed to have in common. She wanted to watch Disney movies and sing the songs with both of them. She wanted to dance around the living room with her husband's arms around her and her baby in her arms. She wanted... well in all honesty she wanted life.

But she couldn't have life. Not now. So she settled on watching her husband and her baby's life. She watched the two of them grow apart after her funeral and a few choice words from a broken boy's heart. She watched as Burt crumbled and formed a perimeter around the family that he wouldn't allow anyone to breach. She watched as her baby broke more and more each day. And Burt was trying. She could give her husband that much. But it was hard. She wasn't going to pretend that it was easy. She knew his main problem was the fact that their baby looked so much like her and was almost her in every essence except his knack for fixing cars and stress baking. Not that there was much a nine year old could bake.

And that was it. A year had passed before she even knew. It was horrifying. Everything was going so fast. But she figured she could still watch her baby grow and that was all that mattered to her at that moment.

He grew up. And he stopped praying to God. And that truly terrified her. Where was her dreamer of a child going? It couldn't have possibly been that long ago that they were kneeling at the foot of his bed with their hands pointed up at the roof and saying soft prayers. As her son's heart crumbled she thought about everything that she had done wrong to turn up in Hell, because watching her child disappear simply wasn't Heaven.

Burt would talk to her sometimes. He would tell her about their baby and about how he didn't know what to do with him. He would ask her for advice. He would ask for forgiveness and guidance and to "please come back" because he didn't "know what to do anymore". And did her heart just break that much more.

But there was one major issue. They weren't connecting. Her boys weren't connecting at all. They weren't even close to connecting and then it happened.

It snowed.

Now this wasn't usually anything spectacular in any way possible, except it was a HUGE snow storm and Burt had actually asked their baby for help in clearing out the drive way. And Kurt did help. He walked outside in his puffy black coat and black boots and his cute red hat that covered his ears and his bright red gloves that fit snugly over his tiny hands. She wished that she could have wrapped him in a tight hug right then. But no. This was something that he boys tended to do together, and she would be inside, watching with a fond smile as they did and making hot chocolate and tea for when they came in, cold and shivering and smiling broadly.

This year wasn't much different. It had been awkward at first. Neither of them knew how to work around each other ever since she "died" and she was willing to bet that things would probably end with both of them in tears. But then Burt, when all things seemed to be going wrong, had handed their baby the shovel and Kurt had done what he always did when Burt gave him a shovel: shoveled. Except he aimed wrong and the load on the shovel landed directly on her husband's head.

She could tell by the way her favorite color of blue began watering that if Burt didn't do something soon to prove that it was okay Kurt was going to burst out crying. And then her husband was laughing and throwing a shovel full of snow directly on top of her son's bright red capped head. There was shocked silence and then graceless laughing and snow flying all over the place and smiles that were true. She couldn't have been prouder. She honestly wanted to cry out of pride. Her boys were finally healing. And so was she. Not that she knew what that meant... She just knew that some of that pain was lessening.

School was hard for her baby, she knew that, and she knew Burt knew that. She just didn't understand why he didn't do anything besides hugging Kurt and then pretending that he didn't see the bruises. But then there was the fact that the one time he did make a huge fuss over them Kurt had blown up at him and begged him not to get involved. And, even though she knew it killed Burt to do so, she knew that he backed off.

She knew why Kurt was being picked on at school. He had told, in confidence, to one of his friends (Andy. She remembered him. He used to be such a sweet little boy.) that he wanted to marry a prince someday and Andy had run off and told Dave and then Dave had told that Azimio boy and soon everyone knew. And Kurt was being picked on. Just for being different. It hurt her more than it hurt him.

The problem was figuring out when Kurt stopped caring about what the rest of children thought of him being different. She guessed it could have been anywhere between his first dumpster toss and his first crush. Somewhere between where the teachers stopped yelling at the boys (and girls) that picked on him and started looking at him differently themselves. Somewhere between when he made his first true friends and when he joined that Glee club.

She knew her baby was a star the moment he had first sang with her. He had a beautiful voice. And he was a beautiful person. She was glad when he started letting people like Mercedes Jones and Tina Cohen-Chang see the wonderful person he was. She was even gladder when that football player (Finn Hudson) joined the club. Kurt had a major crush on him and she was rooting for her baby boy.

And then it became blatantly obvious (somewhere between Finn's girlfriend getting pregnant and her son telling Burt that he was gay) that they would never happen because Finn Hudson was so obviously straight. But her baby wasn't anything if not determined. She had to admit, she could sense the ending before it happened, she could sense it the moment Kurt introduced Carol to Burt. And she could sense it even more when Burt invited the Hudson's to move in with them.

But to back up she was very glad when he gave up the football team (he was good but it wasn't him) and joined the Cheerios. She didn't know much about that Sue Sylvester but she, somehow, trusted the woman with her son. It was almost as though Sue Sylvester went easier on her child because she saw potential. That was more than that Will Schuester did. It made her feel better about leaving him alone with all of them.

She honestly didn't understand why her baby couldn't have gotten that Defying Gravity solo. She had heard him hit that high F. And it was obvious that he had thrown it. When she heard him tell his father why he had thrown it she just wanted to hug him more than she already did. She wanted to wrap him in her arms, cuddle him to her chest and tell him that it was okay. That he didn't have to protect anyone, least of all Burt.

She sat beside him as he camped out in Burt's bedroom with her dresser open and her old scarf clutched to his face, crying and whispering about how much he missed her.

And then the Hudson's moved in and it seemed as though all the progress her son and husband had made in the span of the eight years she had been gone (had it honestly been that long?) had disappeared. She knew that she shouldn't be blaming anyone but why was it that no one noticed that her baby was becoming something that he wasn't? He was trying so hard to be something that his father wanted, something that would make them get along better that she was considering trying to throw a wrench at her husband's head. Her baby did not wear flannel! It was not Kurt Elijah Hummel. It was not what he was.

But, just when she was about to blow up at her husband, Burt did something miraculous. He gave up a day with Finn to spend it with her – their baby. And it was wonderful and adoring and, just like that, some of the pain lessened.

He had great friends. That Quinn girl had edged herself into his heart, Brittany may have been daffy but it was obvious that Kurt cared about her a lot and that the girl returned the feelings. Santana... now even she didn't understand the relationship there. It was almost as though Kurt understood her constant need for sex. Almost as though he honestly understood what she was feeling. Tina was a remarkable girl, and she was going to be a remarkable woman some day. She loved her son. And then there was Mercedes. That girl was a savior. But she hated seeing how Kurt was pushing her away, holding her at an arms length when his junior year began.

Things were getting bad. She was pretty sure anyone with two eyes could see that too much was happening to Kurt too fast. He was lonely. She didn't need that Rachel girl (Finn's girlfriend) to fill in the blanks for her. She knew her baby well enough to know when his heart was breaking. Burt had Carole now. And, while she loved Carole because she made both her husband and her son happy, she almost wanted her gone so that, maybe, Burt could see just what was happening to their baby.

The bullying was horrible. It was painful to watch as her son got slushied and shoved into lockers and tossed into the garbage. And then Burt landed in the hospital.

That was honestly the most painful thing she had to watch. She knew he was with her for all of a week. They spent a great deal of time together, the two of them. Most of it watching over their son. He wasn't aware that she was there. She didn't bother telling him until he was about to wake up. Then she told him to watch over their baby. Their baby who didn't believe in God and who was slowly falling to pieces without his father. Their baby who cried every night his father was in the hospital. Their baby who camped out in their bedroom and ignored every phone call his friends sent his way. Their baby who only let Finn Hudson (his soon to be step-brother if she knew anything) hug him once, and that was when he was in his weakest state. Their baby who needed someone to make their lives a little brighter.

When Burt woke up things were getting better. She was excited about this Sam kid, but that turned out to just be a phase of Kurt's loneliness kicking up again. He cared for the blonde boy, of course he did, her son's heart was huge, but he didn't love him. Not in the way that he wanted to.

And then he had finally had enough and had visited that school and she swore to God that she had seen an angel in the form of a short boy with hazel eyes and curly hair. And she knew her baby thought things were too good to be true when the boy took his hand, lead him down a hallway, and then sang to him. It was almost the voice of an angel.

But Kurt was automatically happier. And that boy was gay, and he cared and he had wonderful potential. And she watched over him too. Just to make sure that he was good enough for her baby.

What she saw made her realize that her needed Kurt just as much as Kurt needed him. He acted differently with Kurt. He acted less like a robot and more like a human. He smiled more. He sang more. And... well he was more.

But things just got worse for Kurt. He was still lonely at school. And he was still pushing away his friends and she knew that that Dave Karofsky boy had kissed him and had taken something from him because, suddenly, that glimmer that the Dalton-boy had put back in his eyes. But still that Dalton-boy, who knew next to nothing about her baby, came to save him. He was an angel, she was sure he was an angel.

He held Mercedes a little closer, and he let Finn in a little more and he was talking to that Rachel girl more but she wasn't worried. Her baby was coming back.

But then that closet case had to go and threaten him. But Kurt finally told her husband and that boy was expelled and she swore she had never seen her baby as happy as he had been those few weeks. The wedding was magnificent and she bet that her baby could possibly have a career in it, someday. Once he got out of this cow-town. She was over Burt and Carole being together. Finn and Carole made her baby happy. And they were a family now.

Closet case came back. And everything happened quicker than. He switched schools. And Finn didn't understand and she wanted to beat that boy across the head. And Mercedes didn't understand and... well no one understood and that was horrible. Her baby was terrified. He shouldn't have to be terrified. He should be able to feel safe.

The pain lessened a bit more as her baby grew into Dalton. And that boy and her baby got closer. She should probably learn that angel's name too. Blaine... yes. Blaine. Not really the name she expected... she was going for Gabriel but she figured she could get used to the name Blaine. Since he made her baby come back to her.

He was nicer. He was less snippy. He was more accepting. And then he was sad.

He missed his old friends. He missed the freedom that he had at his old school and... well she didn't want him to go back. He wouldn't be safe there. But her baby braved it. He said goodbye to his angel and left.

Blaine was broken. She felt so bad for him, but she was so proud of her baby. He was choosing happiness over fear. And, yes, she understood Burt's fear but he could hold himself. He was brave. He was braver than anyone else that she had ever met or heard of. He did wonderfully at Regionals. And then he saw that Blaine boy.

And she never felt her heart swell more when that boy sang "Come rushing, come down hard, come crushing, all I need... Is right here, beside me" right at her baby. She didn't have to look at him to know that he was crying and smiling at the same time, because she swore the angel was doing the same. They had kissed at the end of the competition and neither of them cared that Kurt's team had won Regionals and were going to New York.

Then that Blaine boy transferred to Kurt's school. And... well the rest for her baby and the angel was history. She didn't bother staying for the rest. The pain was finally gone and then she saw that fabled "light at the end of the tunnel" and the "angels singing". But she was pretty sure the angel was her baby's voice loudly proclaiming that "wherever you fly this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you, stay with you, baby you're never alone."