Disclaimer: They still belong to Disney. Pirate Cat pours a mug of rum for Mickey Mouse.

Author's Note: Dedicated to Oriana8! Here ye go, mate... I was up to the challenge. I hope ye gets a giggle out of it!

"... alright, Jack, I have a question for you..." William was counting his winnings ... as always, a pile of peanuts... after yet another game of Liar's Dice with Captain Jack Sparrow. Jack was frowning darkly at the fact that William was a better liar than he was, but then, William had learned the game upon the Flying Dutchman and Jack decided not to question it...

"Wot is it, lad? How I sacked Nassau Port wifout firin' a single shot?" the captain noisily propped his boots up on the barrel that they were using as a table, and gazed up at the black sails above their heads. By this time, Elizabeth had joined them, with her ledger of sums from helping Mr. Gibbs in the provisioning of the Black Pearl in the marketplaces of Singapore. She looked up with a smile at her two favorite people in the world, her handsome young husband and their very, very eccentric best friend, whose ship had welcomed them aboard as crew.

William picked up his rather large tankard of rum and rubbed a hand over the extensive scar that was on his chest... a scar over a living heart that had been restored to him, the beating of which still happily resounded in his eardrums. "... when I first was taken to Cutler Beckett upon the day that he made a rather large point of ruining our wedding," he glanced at his wife, who frowned at the thought, "... he said that the two of you had left a mark upon each other... we know what mark he left upon you... what mark did you leave upon him?"

Jack turned his head so quickly that he nearly fell off of the crate that he was perched upon. He looked at William with a dark scowl, and rubbed his hand the deep scar upon his right wrist... a stark, white "P"... the brand of a convicted pirate. He stuck out his tongue and screwed up his dark face,"...Beckett... " he growled, "... blah..." Elizabeth turned her eyes to Jack and smiled. He was always amusing when he did that... uttering such un-captainly epithets as "blah", "ick", and especially, "eewww".

Jack straightened up and thought for a moment, then took a hearty swig of his own rum, and swiveled his head loosely around to regard the Turners, "I left a mark upon 'im, alright... I was quite practical, savvy?..." His dark, sparkling eyes closed halfway with pleasure as he explained.

"First of all, William, dearest Lord Beckett - an' I use the term 'dearest' wif great and enthusiastic sarcasm - left more'n one mark upon me. I have all o' th' scars t' bear me out on that one. Once yer father an' th' crew o' th' ship that he was piratin' on made the fortuitous decision t' raid Beckett's ship, wif a very injured Captain Jack Sparrow in th' brig, after same Cutler Beckett had firebombed and sank me Wicked Wench, it was pretty plain tha' I had no choice but t' become pirate, meself... " Jack reflected for a moment and sighed.

"Your father convinced me, once he nursed me back t' health, tha' once I learned th' ways o' piratin' an' became th' greatest pirate th' world has ever known..." he smiled grandly at the pair as they rolled their eyes, "... tha' I should make me mark upon his assets, as it were. It was Bootstrap Bill Turner tha' convinced me to almost exclusively raid and pillage ships of the EITC! It worked pretty well once I got me ship back... I was a real pest, an' we all know jus' how much Cutler loved money, and power. I was a real pain to 'im... always makin' off wif his cargo and supplies, an' sinkin' 'is ships... I was such a bloody inconvenience." The captain inspected his fingernails with great interest.

Elizabeth and William stared at him, incredulously. "That's all?" Elizabeth asked, with shock. "You targeted his ships? That doesn't sound like you! Captain Jack Sparrow would leave a much more colorful mark than that!"

Jack grinned wickedly... "Ye didn't let me finish!" he waved both index fingers at his audience of two. William's eyes started to twinkle, as he knew something much more entertaining was in the offing.

"... ye're expectin' me t' say tha' I turned 'im into a eunuch, aren't ye?" Jack tilted his head and looked at the pair out of the corner of his eyes. He grinned with glee and continued, "... it really is wicked t' be havin' a laugh at th' expense o' th' dead, ye know..."

Elizabeth slammed her ledger closed as she and William both took sips of rum, and smiled at Jack's suspenseful pause. He almost laughed at the effect that he was having upon them. He took a deep breath and said, "... wot I am about t' tell ye is the truth, an' ye can ask Bill if ye don't believe me..." He also took another swig of rum and said, "We were visitin' jolly ol' England, so's Bill could see 'is wife an' young whelp... " Jack nodded to William, "...an' we were able to sneak int' Beckett's office in Southampton one night, after th' three of us had overpowered 'is trained monkey, Mercer - he's not so tough when there was three o' us."

"Why were there three of you, and what were you doing, Jack?" William asked, leaning in closer, smiling.

"... it was one o' me crew wot could help Bill carry a small trunk... ye see, when I was a whelp, I earned extra money as a tattoo artist...I left a mark upon Beckett, alright! I'd laid me hands on some o' th' instruments o' me former artful trade..."

Elizabeth's mouth dropped open, and William's eyes got as large as Jack's usually did. It did not have the same effect without kohl, but it amused Jack, just the same.

"... we were able t' sneak in, knock th' bejesus outta him... an' we tattooed his arse..."

The Turners stared. William finally found his voice,"... and what, pray tell, did you tattoo upon his arse?" He was not sure if he believed Jack or not.

Jack grinned triumphantly, "Me very own pirate flag! So's every time he would stand up... every time... he would 'hoist the colours high'... my colours! O' course, as short as 'e was, he couldn't hoist 'em very high, but it was th' principal of it all... from tha' night on, Cutler Beckett had a pirate's flag tattooed on 'is arse. Shoulda turned 'im into a eunuch, whilst we were at it..." he mused.

William and Elizabeth burst into merry laughter, and they all tapped their mugs together. Jack exclaimed, "... if ye don't believe me, you two, ask Bill! He was there!" Even Jack started to giggle.

As the Turners turned beet red with mirth at the thought of it, and Elizabeth laughed so hard that she even snorted a little bit, Jack smiled with contempt and muttered, "There is no way to even touch upon how much Cutler Beckett hated me..."

He drained his mug and slammed it down with satisfaction.