A/N: This was a request from a friend. It's AU, and Arthur is about…hmmm, high-school age, I suppose.

Alexander – Scotland

Eiry – Ireland

I know there's also Wales and Northern Ireland, but…*shrugs*

Do you ever have those moments when you just want to go and rip your own throat out?

For me, these particular moments occur...pretty much every moment I spend at home with the dysfunctional crazies I call my family.

My little brother, Peter, might just be the most obnoxious child on earth. He follows me around like some ten-year old shadow, demanding that I refer to him as 'Sea-kun', Lord knows why. He sneaks leftover shrimp under my bed that I don't notice until they start to stink up my entire bedroom days later. (That smell literally just knocks you out, let me tell you.) That pint-sized annoyance calls me names that I didn't learn the meanings of until high school! Alexander probably taught him those vulgar words...either that or he overheard one of our infamous drunken rants?

We really should stop with the drinking before we destroy our livers.

My oldest sibling and formal guardian is my fiery-tempered sister Eiry. When we were kids, we used to fight like cats and dogs. A decade or so later, nothing has changed. Except instead of stealing all her dolls, I steal all her alcohol; and instead of showing everyone I know a video she took of me potty-training when I was two, she shows everyone I know high-resolution pictures of me practicing my kissing abilities with a pillow.

She would still show everyone the potty-training video...thankfully, I destroyed it. Beat it to death with a crowbar, to be exact.

My brother Alexander's the closest in age to me. Which would be bloody nice and all, if he wasn't so abusive! Seriously, the last half-hour of my life was spent with him pinning me to the ground while he took a set of huge-arsed tweezers and FORCIBLY PLUCKED MY GODDAMN EYEBROWS. Considering the unnaturally large and fast-growing eyebrows my family was cursed with, they'll probably be back and as bushy as ever by tomorrow. But still, my God, that hurt! Granted, at least it's better than that one incident that involved a cigarette, a cup of scalding-hot tea, and a plastic magic wand.

I shall explain no further.

Anyways, seeing as how everyone has a breaking point, I happened to reach mine that one night. Normally, I'd go steal Eiry's booze and drink heartily until I met the blissful nothingness of unconsciousness, but this night, she was out of rum and beer and all that was left was a bottle of fancy French wine.

I fucking hate French wine.

I needed somewhere to be alone and clear my mind, and I knew just the perfect place.

You see; not that far from our house is a small, secluded little beach by a road. It was pretty, with fine white sand and clear, shallow bluish-green water. No one really knew about it though, because it was hidden by the tall, leafy trees that seemed to grow everywhere in our area. I noticed it one day while driving down that road; the reclusive little location peeking out from behind invasive, knobbly tree branches. I happen to be a very perceptive person...although some may argue that 'delusional' is a far more fitting word.

With a destination in mind, I half-ran into my bedroom, pried open the window, and expertly slipped out without a sound. I'd just stay at the beach for a little while to enjoy the wonderful isolation, then come back before it got dark.

It's funny how plucked eyebrows and leftover shrimp can set up such a fateful chance meeting...

A/N: Yeah, I know it's basically a huge tangent about how dysfunctional the Eyebrows Family is, but…it gets more substantial in the next chapter, I promise. (At least, I think it does…)