This is a parody of Mirror Mirror, where the Federation will be Candymakers and the Empire will be dentists. Hope you enjoy and please review! :D
Planet surface]
(Kirk, Scott, McCoy and Uhura are with the local leader, when the air begins to smell like mouthwash)
THARN:
We believe what you say, Captain Kirk, but our position has not altered. The Cookie Council cannot permit your Federation to harvest sugar canes on our planet.
KIRK:
We have shown the council historical proof that our missions are tasty. You will be given a fair share of the candy.
THARN:
We accept that your Federation makes candy at present, but the future is always in question. It is always tempting to join with dentists. Our sugar canes represent awesome power. Wrongful use of that power, even to the extent of the brushing of on tooth, would violate our history of total peace. To prevent that, we would have our teeth brushed, Captain. As a race, if necessary.
KIRK:
I admire your ethics and hope to prove ours. Kirk to Candyprise.
SPORK:
Spork here.
KIRK:
Report on mouthwash storm, Mister Spork.
[Bridge]
SPORK:
Standard Cool-Mint Listerine type, Captain, but quite violent (Candyprise shakes) and unpredictable.
[Planet surface]
KIRK:
Rough ride?
SPORK:
If we stay.
KIRK:
Stand by to beam up landing party.
[Bridge]
KIRK:
Plot an extended orbit to clear disturbance. Kirk out.
SPORK:
Comply, Mister Chewlu.
CHEWLU:
Aye, sir.
[Planet surface]
KIRK:
When may we resume discussion?
THARN:
The council will chew gum while meditating further, but do not be hopeful of any change. Captain, you do have the might to force the sugar canes from us, of course.
KIRK:
But we won't. Consider that. Candyprise. Transporter room, energise.
[Transporter room]
KYLE:
Trouble, sir.
(Four figures start to materialise, then disappear again. The image of Candyprise in orbit reverses itself. Finally, four figures solidify, wearing strange uniforms, which are all white. They have plastic gloves on their hands and toothbrushes at their sides.)
KIRK:
Spork was right. It was a rough trip.
(Spork and Kyle greet their Captain with a semi-Nazi salute. Their uniforms have also changed to dental clothes, and Spork has grown a very fetching goatee beard.)
SPORK:
At norm, Mister Kyle. Toothpaste at neutral.
KYLE:
Yes, sir.
SPORK:
Status of mission, Captain?
KIRK:
No change.
SPORK:
Standard procedure, Captain? (Kirk nods) Mister Chewlu, beam down the armies of dentists. Attack all Halkan cities.
CHEWLU:
Yes, Mister Spork.
SPORK:
Their dental capability, Captain?
KIRK:
None.
SPORK:
Regrettable that this society has chosen suicide. Mister Kyle, you were instructed to compensate during the mouthwash storm.
KYLE:
But I tried, Mister Spork, I tried.
SPORK:
Carelessness with the equipment cannot be tolerated.
KYLE:
But Mister Spork, I...
SPORK:
Your floss.
KYLE: No, Mister Spork.
SPORK:
Your Oral-B, please.
(A guard restrains Kyle and takes a container of floss from his belt.)
KYLE:
No, Mister Spork! I tried. I really tried.
(Spork flosses his teeth. Kyle writhes in agony. When the floss is removed, he collapses.)
*Star Trek theme plays*
Candy. The final eatery. These are the meals of the Starship Candyprise, its five year mission, to bring sweets to strange new worlds, to bring candy to all civilizations, to boldly chew, where no man has chewed before.
To be continued... ;D