Disclaimer: I am obviously not J.K. Rowling because she would describe Lucious as a B****, well I say he's a wimpy B****.
AN: This is kinda my first time writing a Fanfic without my partner revising it (Or parcailly changing the story, No offence Ano!), so please be honest but don't BE RUDE!
The Malfoy Story By:SlytherinGals23
One nice afternoon in one of the Deatheater's dorms- "Sometimes I wish I had black hair…"complained the blond father. "I mean seriously! Blond hair looks too happy, (Narrator speaking: and for a deatheater that is not a good thing) but black looks … Um … HAWT, (Narrator speaking: DID A MALFOY JUST SAY HAWT? GASP!)
And kinda demanding… Possibly I could get promoted to Head Deatheater!" VOLDEMORT ON SPEAKER PHONE: ALL DEATHEATERS REPORT TO THE OFFICE! NOW.
The still blond Deatheater sighed and skipped (YES SKIPPED) down the hall to the Office but some how kept a straight face.
AFTER THE MEETING AT THE OFFICE aka AFTER KERFU aka 7:00pm
Lucius Malfoy has just gotten out of The Deatheater Headquarters and in the Wizard Hair Salon.
"Hello, How may I help you?" says the perky salon lady.
"Oh Yes, I want my hair dyed black and I want my hair very short,"
"Ok! Go sit on the chair over there and ill be right with you"
Malfoy Sits Down. A few min. Later!
"Ok, Here we go!"
-Puts Wand in gap of hairdryer.-
-Blow-dries Hair, Then it magically turns Black and Short! -
"Well do you like it?" She says Happily.
"WOW," Says the Jacob-From-Twilight-looking guy.
-Gets out of the chair and walks back to counter-
"So who should I make this to?" says the Malfoy.
"Magic Haircuts 101,"Says the salon lady.
"Ok… Here you go and ill just be on my way," The "HAWT" Malfoy says.
-Poofs into Bedroom and falls asleep-
THE NEXT DAY! IN A DEATHEATER MEETING!
(Narrator Speaking: The New "Jacob from twilight" is late for the Deatheater meeting)
(Malfoy Walks in)
"Hello, Fellow Deatheaters!" Says "Jacob". Everyone's jaws drops! Everyone except Voldie, mostly because he isn't a Twilight freak (Narrator Speaking: AND NOR AM I! INFACT TWLIGHT SUCKS!).
Well Voldie isn't amused, Bellatrix is like losing her mind over his haircut-
"OMG! OMG! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR F**KIN AWSOME HAIR! YOUR ALMOST AS HOT AS JACOB!" Bellatrix Hugs "New Jacob" and wouldn't let go. "Um… Bell can you like um… Get off me?" says "NEW JACOB". "NO WAY! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GO ANYWHERE UNTIL THE GUY WITH THE MARRIGE PAPERS GETS HERE!" Says the LOVE struck Deatheater. "Wooowooowooo, Bell I appreciate the concern, but I'm already married, you've known that for years" says The Concerned Death eater. "OH JACOB LOVE YOU TOO!" *Kissing* *Cissy walks in* "-ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Get the heck off me!" "OMG! How In the world did you get JACOB TO COME HERE? AND WHY IS HE KISSING YOU!" cries Cissy. "Because You're MARRIED!" "HEY! JUST BECAUSE YOUR SINGLE DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO SNOG HIM ALL DAY!" *Pushes New Jacob to the side* "Oh yeah why don't try and stop me!" "Oh its on rat face!" *Starts major fist fight*
-New Jacob Leans against wall- "Hey Voldie! Maybe you should get a haircut or erm… wig and the chicks will be fighting over you! Wellll… at least your wife and freak." "No way, No way."
Narrator speaking: I bet you are wondering what happens next, well basicly Cissy and Belletrix figure out that Jacob isn't fat and they beat up Lucy, and then Lucy ends up on the cover of The Daily Prophet. That was our fault (Me and Ano). We weren't here when this happened, we were hanging out at Draco's when His mom offered us to stay the night so we did. We just came back when they were beating up Lucy. It was kind of random but hilarious. So we IM everyone we know and word goes around quick you know and somehow it got to The Daily Prophet Editor and found the return address and got to the Deatheater Meeting room.
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Love,
Malfoy;D